Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    Resist the temptation to be like everyone else.  You are in the
    company of T.E Lawrence, Normal Rockwell, Fred Astair and Peter
    O'Toole.  Your health is more important than looks. If you are
    healthy at your weight, stay there.  Eating foods just to put on
    weight for the sake of weight may leave you with more than just
    a few extra pounds. For the food will give you all its side effects.
    
    Your feelings, campassion, intelligence and attitude are more
    important than vanity. They last much longer than you body!

    I love it when people kid me about being skinny; I joke about it a lot
    also.  Whatever weight your comfortable with is the one you should be.
    
    (Although, I would like to gain about 20 lbs. just in case I'm in a 
     plane that crashes in the Andes and there is no food around for 100s
     of miles and I have to live off of my own body fat.  Or should this
     be in the phobia topic?)

    Be grateful.  It's far better than being overweight.  
    
    Barb

         I'm not exactly thin anymore...(hahaha) but in high school I
         used to be a twig.  I was 5'8" and 123 lbs...with a large
         bone structure like I have, that means skin and bones....I
         remember at the time that it was pretty stressful because
         everyone tended to nickname me Bones....   My body's since
         changed and now I'm going in the reverse direction (trying to
         get a few off instead of put a few on...).  There was
         definately a time, though, where I just tried to eat everything in
         sight just to gain some weight. 

         Looking back on it now, *IF* you are not happy with how you
         look now, then do something about it....but do it the right
         way.... just like I am trying to eat well-balanced, low-fat
         meals and lifting weights/aerobics to lose weight, you should
         be careful to eat healthy foods/work out to gain. 

	 Its just as much of a struggle going both directions--but
	 equally as important to be healthy about it...

	 kath

	 (PS:  I'll give you a few of my pounds and we'll be even,
	 okay??)   8^)

>>    Be grateful.  It's far better than being overweight.  

	 you sneaked this in!

	 I disagree....but your body will probably plateau at a
	 healthy weight for you and you should probably not push it
	 over that....just like I shouldn't push under a healthy
	 weight for me....(no anorexia for me, thank you!)

	 k

    
    What I find strange is the fact that when a person is "skinny" they
    seem to be subjected to more ridicule as opposed to a person who
    is "fat". I never understood that. The resulting insecurity/inferiority
    "complexes" caused by the ridicule are the same at both ends of the 
    spectrum. Why is it improper to call somebody "fat" yet okay to call 
    somebody "skinny". By the way, I make it my personal policy not
    to make fun of a person who is not at their "proper" weight.

    Brian
    

	 I think that its the attitude someone expressed before... so
	 many people strive to be thin, that people assume that its so
	 much better to be thin than fat....  Since the feeling is
	 that its "better", then people who are thin should be happy
	 to be teased...

	 its the same thing with intelligence...I graduated very near
	 the top of my class in high school...I was CONSTANTLY being
	 teased about how "smart" I was or being called names that
	 conotated being smart...  But I NEVER saw any of the people
	 near the bottom of the class being teased about their grades
	 and such.....

	 If something is thought to be good, I guess its assumed the
	 person won't mind being teased about it...which of course is
	 wrong....I used to be very offended by it....now I just try
	 to blow it off....life is too short, ya know?

	 8-)

	 kath

    I think it's envy.  People who are overweight can't imagine
    being able to eat lots and not get fat.  To those of us with
    slower than normal metabolisms, that seems like a delightful
    dream.  We don't see the catch - it just seems wonderful.  
    Dreams of sugarplums without too-tight jeans resulting.
    
    I'll second the idea of weight-training.  I've seen it work for
    people at both ends of the scale.  I think the problem with
    weight control in our society is that our bodies were meant to
    be used a lot more than we're using them, so we end up without
    balance.  Without balance we have trouble attaining a healthy
    weight.  Working out, just doing a little each day, seems to 
    balance things out again.  Note, I'm not talking about trying
    to be Arnold S., although if you can do that without 'roids,
    go for it!  

    --Louise

    re: Kathy
    
    I think I see a pattern.  Maybe your high school "friends" just
    liked to tease you for whatever reasons presented themselves. 8-)
    
    	- Jerry
    

    I am underweight,and I am always getting teased.  It is funny how
    a person will tease a thin person and thinks it is not going to
    hurt their feelings..but will not tease a overweight person because
    they know it will probably hurt their feelings.  I try not to get
    my feelings hurt anymore because many people tell me that they are
    envious of me, because I can eat everything I want.  Lets put it
    this way:  I went on a four day cruise and everybody knows what
    cruises are known for-FOOD! It was like something I have never seen!
    I went on a total "See food diet" and ate everything (they serve
    14 meal a day!) .  I could not believe that I did not gain one pound!
    (it would have been nice if I gained even a couple of pounds!)...this
    is one benefit of being "Sliced "too" thin"
    
    Thanks XCELR8!

    I dunno, I see a trend in my life as follows:
    
    first steady boyfriend:  6', 135 lbs
    2nd.... 5'8", 140 lbs
    3rd.... 5'10", 135 lbs
    4th.... 6', 125 lbs
    5th.... 6', 125 lbs
    
    I used to be a little more generously built than I am now, but I'd
    say I have no problems with slender people ;).  Of course, the friends
    I'm seeing now vary from 6' 155lbs to 6' 125 lbs.  Variety is the
    spice of life ;).  Oh, and, btw, I have also admired heavier people,
    although they haven't been steadies for me.
    
    -Jody
    

    I was just wondering....
    
    Does gender make a difference?  
    
    In High School I was about 6' and 130.  I used to get teased
    constantly. I used to be the constant reciever of threats, and blows
    from bullys who called me a "skinny" little whimp.  I had to learn
    to deal with such things.  It all mellowed out buy my junior year,
    but I already had the "skinny" whimp image implanted on me.   I
    felt that I was less than everybody else because I wasn't as big
    as everybody.  What bothered me most was I had the height. I was
    taller than most, yet I still felt smaller and less of a man then
    kids who were more proportional.    I have changed that image tho.
    I worked out and gained weight and size (11.5" bicepts to 13). 
    I don't feel like a inadiquate male anymore, even though I'm still
    underweight.
    
    Is it different for you women?  For me, I felt weak and worthless.
    Do you have simular feelings?  Does it affect you in different ways?
    Being a guy, got teased for having lack of large muscles.  Is strength
    a problem with women or is it something else (like lack of certain
    curves)?    Do you go for "skinny" guys also?  I tend towards "skinny"
    women because I don't want to feel even skinnier, nothing against
    heavier people.
    
    Bill
    

What do men prefer?  And What do Women prefer?  Would you rather date someone 
who is too thin or someone who is to heavy?  What is your idea of being too 
thin and what is your idea of being too heavy?  What is your idea of being 
just right?  Or does it all really matter?  I've herd that in the fashion 
world that thin is out but then again so is fat, and that "muscle" is in......

    
    Usually the people who are thin in their 20's tend to be either
    overweight or gain the weight that they wanted to gain when they hit
    their late 30's or 40's.  I have heard so many people say, "I remember
    when I was your age and I could eat as much as I want and not gain an
    ounce".  And my mother always reminds me that when she came out of the
    hospital after having me she weighed 110.  (Must be nice! :) ).  This
    is just my observation.  I think it's because when you get older your
    metabolism slows down and you can't burn off those calories like you
    use to when you were younger....
    
    
    cj 

    
    	To all those who say being underweight is a benefit, I must
    	disagree. For one, the abuse does not stop as one grows older.
    	I am 41, yet it is a rare week that I don't have at least one
    	insult thrown my way. Some of the common ones are, "gee, why
    	do you have that umbrella, you should be able to walk between
    	the rain drops, ha ha ha ha ha" or "better not go outside today,
    	the wind just might blow you away". From other men I get a steady
    	reminder that I'm not really a MAN because I weigh like a girl.
    	When sports are talked about some comment is always made like,
    	"but you wouldn't know about that, that takes a real man to
    	play football" (even tho I was 1st string wide receiver during
    	my four years at HS). Women aren't much better and in some ways
    	more cruel, especially when it comes to dating. Some of the
    	things I hear are "you're a nice guy, but I couldn't go out
    	with someone that weighs less than I do" or more blunt ones
    	like "ME go out with a skinny guy like you, I want a real MAN".
    
    	 I don't think very many of the comments I get are jokes, sure
    	some are, but a lot of them are meant to be cruel. Just like
    	I feel a lot of the fat jokes are meant to be cruel. I tend
    	to think it's just our society, make yourself feel better by
    	hurting or putting someone else down. Just watch the eyes of
    	someone joking about another and it will tell, just watch the
    	gleam highten the deeper the cut goes.
    
    	G_B

    I'm really glad to hear all these replies.  Since I've usually been
    on the heavy end of the scale, it's been interesting to hear about
    the insults at the other end of the spectrum.  I've always
    felt the humiliation of being too heavy, so haven't been one of the
    people who does the same thing to others.  Personally, I don't give
    a d*mn about a person's size as long as I like them.  I've dated
    and married both "types" of men.  Rest assured that there are other
    people out there, albeit possibly hard to find, who see the person
    for who they are, not for how they look.  In the meantime, we
    "unaverage" types, just have to do the best we can with how we are
    built.  As I get older, I've discovered that I really don't care
    much whether others like the way I look or not, if I'm happy with
    the person I am, *that's* what counts.
    
    Barb          

        Being underweight or overweight should really not really make
    a difference (even though it usually does) in the way people percieve
    you as.  It is the person inside that really counts , whether thin
    or overweight.  Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, some people
    are attracted to thin people and some are attracted to overwieght
    people.  Otherwise, people should accept you for what you are and
    not whether you are thin or overwieght.  Personally, I think inner
    beauty is more important than outer beauty.

Well, I'm sure glad to see this here!  This is something that used to really
bother me.  I'm 6' and weigh about 140 (I've weighed as much as 150-155 a
couple times for a short time).  I've heard the rail remarks, the wind blow
you away remarks, and all the rest.  But this is the *first* time I've ever
heard someone else say it had bothered them!  I think this is a great idea,
so that others who may not know various things discussed here become more
aware.


Being slender hasn't stopped me too much from doing the things I like to do.
I always had a great arm, so I did real well in baseball/softball.  I probably
would have done better at football if the coach hadn't insisted on putting
me (60 pounds in 6th grade!) on the offensive line as a tight end!  I did well
in soccer, and in sprinting in track, and I do quite well in my favorite of
volleyball.  What I can't seem to do is sustain the energy level for a long
time, so I didn't do well in distance races.  I would guess that's because I
don't carry much in the way of reserves with me (I was rated at about 7.9%
body fat by the Health Center here at ZKO), which can be a real pain at times.
Besides things which require bulk or long periods of exertion, there are times
when I'd like to go without eating a meal or at least postpone it!  Skipping
a meal can really hurt -- at some point I'll start to feel sick and dizzy
and faintish, and I'll have a nasty headache and get very irritable.  Lack of
energy is the cause.  And I need *real* food too -- sugar only makes things
worse.


Still, I've learned to accept and even like myself!  My body *is* good at
short bursts of energy, which is exactly what you need for volleyball.  I
don't mind I'm not muscle-bound, I'm strong enough to do most anything I
really need to (although I probably should start working out again!).  I
*have* tried to gain weight to no avail; so rather than fighting myself, I
try to support myself.  Might as well, what choice does one have?!


As for the remarks, I don't really notice them that much anymore.  Most people
I know don't say them cruelly but just kiddingly.  I would take exception if
it did go the other way though!  But the folks that know me well know my
situation, and wouldn't say something like that to hurt my feelings.  Guess
that's why they're my friends/loved ones, huh?
    
    
And no, I don't really intend to gain weight.  Not until the good ol' meta-
bolism slows down anyhow!  I'll just go with the flow until then.  Almost 3
months ago I met someone, and she doesn't seem to "mind" my looks; I know
the good ones won't, so I won't fret over what the rest think.  I'm happy,
and that's enough!


Brian

    
    	I haven't read all the replies to this yet but I had
    	to get mine in.
    
    	I'm only 21 but have lived with the same problem as .0
    	for as long as I can remember.  I can eat anything I want
    	and not gain much, if any, weight.  The only time I've been
    	able to gain was when I was a member of a gym in my hometown.
    	They've gone bankrupt and I've since moved to Lowell...but I
    	will be going to the Holiday Spas when they open in February.
    
    	I was envied and hated in school for one in the same reason.
    	I was/am thin.  I'm not that unproportioned though that I
    	think I'm that different from others.  I'm 5'6" and weigh
    	about 118-120.  I'd like to get to 125 or 127.  When I was
    	in junior high I got comments like "how does it feel to
    	weigh the speed limit"?  I think that's the most creative
    	one I got.  It usually doesn't bother me until some of the
    	older ladies say things like "I was like you when I was young
    	but as you get older you'll get fat too".  Well, my mom
    	was a size 7 when I and my brother is born and has never gotten
    	bigger than a size 9 and she's 45 years old.  She gets the
    	same comments that I do and she hates the word "skinny".  She
    	tells people "I'm not SKINNY, I'm SLENDER".
    	I see girls that I graduated with and they always say "I see
    	you're still skinny. Don't you eat?"
    	Everyone thinks that being thin is glorious.  But we can sometimes
    	get the same inferiority complexes that overweight people do.
    	They can't lose the weight and we can't gain it......
    
    	JJ
    

    I am thrilled to see I am not the only one with an underweight
    problem,which I have always felt self concious of all my life.
    All I can say to everyone is hang in there...and a couple of trips
    to Freindly Ice Cream for a "Hot fudge sundae" won't hurt!
    
    p.s. Is there a "Weight Gain Clinic" around here??
    
                                        smiles,
                                        Lynne

    
    re.-20
    
    I think you might be onto something there.. We could call it
    "Under Weight Watchers"... I can here the cash register ringing
    now... ;')
    
    Brian

    Brian,
    Can you imagine...a clinic where all you do is eat hot fudge sundaes
    (better than that "Jim Dandies"--they have far more calories),cakes,
    candies, chocolates (cottage cheese, and salads are definately a
    no! no!).....wouldn't it be fun??

		I think it's a real shame that the media/fashion world
	sets the standards of the "in" body weight.  The emphasis should
	be on being healthy and happy with yourself, not on looking like
	Twiggy or being "Rubenesque".

		I have to agree with those who have said "it's what's
	inside that counts".  Whether you have a normal, slow or fast
	metabolism, if *you're* happy with yourself, that's the important
	part.  And if you're not, can you change it?  Sometimes you can't -
	you have to accept what is and make the best of it.  I tend to have
	a slower metabolism, and thus am heavier than I should be.  I recently
	took off about 12 pounds and have around 15 left to go.  But I feel
	good about me, and the way I'm trying to accomplish it - with exercise
	and a change of eating habits.  These are things I *can* control.

		I think the teasing and comments hurt me most when I wasn't
	real happy with how I looked, and knew that it was in my power to
	do something about it (i.e. read insecure and vulnerable).  I still
	don't really like hearing comments about anyone's weight (fat or
	thin) --  unless of course they're complimentary! 	;-) ;-)

	-Amy-

    re: .15
    i am overweight...by about 17-20 percent.  i have always (since
    college football days, anyway) felt a bit awkward about this.  
    
    your note really touched me...maybe i read too much into it...
    but, i felt your agony and hurt.  i have probably said some of those
    things myself...trying to tease a friend or something...not realizing
    how it might affect.  thank you for opening my eyes.....
    
    tony

I recieved a couple comments yesterday for my weight....
    
    I was talking with someone over the network and she asked me my
    weight.  I told her and she blurted out.  "That's a skeleton".
    I refered her to someone who knew what I looked like and had her
    ask if I looked like a skeleton.  The answer was no.
    
    Secondly I went to eat lunch at McDonalds  I had two Big Macs, a
    McChicken Sandwich and a Large Coke.  The comment was where does
    it go.  I said my left leg is hollow and It has to stay filled so
    I wont fall over.
    
    I found the best way to handle it is to laugh with them....
    
    Bill
    

    RE.25
    All you can do is laugh it off. If you are thin, you will probably
    always get remarks about it, I still get them myself.  I laugh it
    off now because I know I am 100% healthy, and I know I can eat anything
    I want, anytime I want....and second..all this talk about McDonalds
    is making me hungry!!!
    
                                   hang in there,
                                   Lynne

    
>    Secondly I went to eat lunch at McDonalds  I had two Big Macs, a
>    McChicken Sandwich and a Large Coke.  The comment was where does
>    it go.  I said my left leg is hollow and It has to stay filled so
>    I wont fall over.
>    
>    I found the best way to handle it is to laugh with them....
>    
>    Bill
    
I love it!  Keep a sense of humor.

I get the other kind of jokes.  It hurts worse when it comes from family
members.  Only one person in my family is thin and she is the only one that
doesn't hurl painful insults about my weight.  The others even weigh more than I
do.  They feel they are entitled because they weighed less when they were my
age.  I say, "But you don't now so where is the sense of accomplishment?" 

I also have said things in the past to thin people that may have been hurtful,
(but not to be mean)  but I think that it was mostly out of shock that anyone
could have that problem. I would give anything to have that problem.  (At least
for a couple of years :) ) Another reason is because sometimes you don't look
beyond your hurt and see someone else's. 

    
    re. -27
    
    I hear you about family members.. It seems to bug me the most when
    it comes from them.. Although I have gained 30-35 lbs. since I left
    home they still see me as that "skinny little runt".
    
    Incedently, how do you define skinny?? I'm 6'-0'' and way 163 lbs.
    Is that "skinny"? Or is it just "slender"? What's the difference
    between the two??
    
    Brian

    It is good to keep a good sense of humor about your weight, whether
    you are overweight or underweight.  If you are too sensitive about
    weight jokes,  they can really play games with your mind..believe
    me, I been there.  My advise to both underweight and overweight
    people is try to be happy with yourself, don't let it bother you
    what other people think or say....it is just not worth it...and
    remember one thing...gaining weight is as close as your neighborhood
    McDonalds!!

       When I read the comments that have been made to people who are
       not in one way other another 'average' it just astounds me.
       The level of unsensitvity is beyond belief. OK, I know I've said
       my share of tacky comments about people I don't like but I don't
       just walk up to people and insult them because they look
       different. Where were these people brought up that they don't
       understand common curtesy? There is no excuse for cruelty
       disguised as humor. liesl

    All you thin people out there that can't gain one pound (no matter
    how many trips to your neighborhood McDonalds you make) here is
    a tip.  If you can't put the weight on (I mean..there is just no
    Weight Gain Clinics around here), why not give the illusion of a
    nice figure .  The style of clothing you wear can make a big
    difference!  I dress in the way to give an illusion of a well
    porportion body.  Here are my tips...they work great for me....I
    hope they help you.
    
    For Gals: wear pleated pants, oversized shirts with shoulder pads,
    wide colorful belts.  Wear big jewelry such as large earrings, wide
    chains and necklaces.  Accessories such as jewelry and wide belts
    draw attention, not as much to your body shape.  I find it helps
    for me.  Things to avoid...too much black, vertical stripes, small
    accessories...they tend to draw attention to your thinness.
    
    For Guys:  Wear pleated pants, oversized shirts and baggy sweaters..
    also shirts with wide horizontal stripes.
    
    Dont forget, if you notice in fashion catalogues, all the models
    are on the thin side..because they seem to wear clothes very well!!

    True, certain clothes do help.   I don't make an effort to where
    them though.  I have lived long enough to accept my condition of
    being sliced "too" thin, so I don't really care too much any more.
    I do try to gain still, because it makes it easier to accept. 
    I have also found that many people prefer the "too" thin.  Just
    look at some of the rock stars, and celebraties.  I have a fondness
    for petite girls myself.  ( Physical attributes aren't all that
    important to me, but I still have preferences....;-) )
    
    Bill
    

    RE: ALL
             Thank God , a note that I can really relate to.  I have
    been "skinny","slender",& "svelt" all my life.  I can say though
    that I was lucky in school because I always had coaches that understood
    the problem and showed me how to deal with it.  What most people
    don't relize is, those of us that are sometimes underweight MUST
    eat more often because of how our body converts the energy intake.
    I can tell you, from expierence, that very few people understand
    what happens to "us" when we run out of energy.  It does pose a
    very real health problem.  My weight problem is now under control
    (6' 160lbs) but it takes very careful management of your lifestyle.
    
    Dave

    Another problem with being to thin is that I'm constantly eating.
     I didn't realize just how much I ate until I had to take some pills
    that required an empty stomach.  I figured that meant an hour before
    eating or two hours after.  I barely have that time before I feel
    extreamly hungry.  I have to eat something every couple of hours
    just so I won't be hungry.  This probably explains my large food
    bills.  I'm always in subshops or fast food joints blowing 7-8 bucks
    just to feed my face.
    
    Bill

    Did anyone watch the "Karen Carpenter Story" on television Sunday,
    January 1st?  The story goes that Karen died of Anorexia in 1983.
    It was very sad that she died of a condition that concerns weight.
    She had everything going for her, a beautiful voice, fame, money,
    but still she was not happy with herself.  The media portrayed her
    has being "Richard Carpenter's chubbly little sister" when she first
    started in the public eye. The comments she got from the media started
    her preoccupation with striving to be thin, which killed her.  It
    is sad what the media can do to a (in this case famous) person,
    who is not the "right" weight. Oprah Winfrey and Fergie are also
    picked on because have weight problems. It goes to show you what
    an important role weight plays in a person's life, it is sad, because
    whether thin or overweight, why can't a person be accepted for what
    they are?

    
    I've always been underweight.  All through high school my weight
    fluctuated between 89 and 98 lbs.  I heard all the insults, etc., but
    never really let it bother me. 
    
    Today isn't much different.  At 5'4" tall, I still weigh only 95 lbs.
    The comments are still being made telling me how unhealthy "skinny" is, 
    calling me "bones", saying I must be anoxeric, etc.  But, the ones 
    making these comments can't fit into the small sizes either so I look
    at it as envy. 
    
    I have put on enough to reach 105 lbs. and maintain it.  However, this 
    weight was very uncomfortable for me.  I felt fat.  So, off came the 
    weight.  The most important thing, in my opinion, is to be comfortable
    with yourself regardless of what anyone else has to say about it.
    
    

    RE.37
    I am 5'2, 85lb. and I went through the same as you.  The important
    thing is to be healthy, if you feel good...that is what counts!
    People who tell you how unhealthy "thin" (don't say skinny!) is,
    are just envious and wish they had your problem. I know because
    people actually come right out and tell me they are envious because
    I can eat anything.  I don't blame you for not letting it bother
    you, I arrived at that point myself.  There is nothing wrong with
    being thin as long as you are healthy....and feel great!
    

    Please, whatever size you are, be accepting and realistic of yourself
    - we come in all shapes and sizes, we people....vive la difference!
    And, FYI, an article on body image and how our minds can play tricks
    on us, whatever weight we are...
    						-Jody
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Double Vision - by Penny Ward Moser
    Self Magazine, January 1989

In 1959, I was the best ten-year-old baton twirler at the Dundee, Illinois,
Fall Festival.  I was also the skinniest baton twirler.  In my sequined
leotard, I resembled nothing more than a sparkly red clothespin.  All
through my childhood, I looked like one of the orphans in "You can help
feed this child" ads.  Except for my frizzy Tonette-waved hair, my knees
were my most outstanding feature.

For the first eighteen years of my life, I was a human Cuisinart.  I simply
processed huge quantities of food and grew taller without changing very
much at all.  I was thirteen, 5'7" and 110 pounds when the horror of my
predicament struck.  There I was, awash in a sea of angora sweaters,
nylon stockings and slow-dance parties, and I found myself without a body.
 I had arms and legs and all, but other girls were acquiring soft, round
body parts that I lacked.  Annette Funicello betrayed me when she suddenly
sprouted huge breasts that made her name jiggle on her Mouseketeer T-shirt.
 Full-page ads for high-calorie potions cried out, "Don't let them call you
skinny!"  We all knew that when men wanted was Marilyn Monroe, Jayne
Mansfield or Sandra Dee.  I can still remember choking down triple helpings
of mashed potatoes, butter and milk, trying to round out by body.  I wasn't
very successful, but did remain a hell of a baton twirler.

My how times have changed.  Today, at 124 pounds, I think I'm too heavy,
even though I barely make the low-normal weight range on the standard
height/weight charts.  In the last twenty years, something has influenced
me to believe that the ideal body is very, very thin.

In deed, the quest for a perfect, lean body has become a sort of national
pastime.  In one survey, 81 percent of adults said they were dieting to
lose weight.  Seven hundred thousand attend weekly Weight Watchers
meetings.  We trot dutifully to exercise classes and buy millions of copies
of diet books, no matter how far-fetched the concept.  We jam tapes into
our VCRs:  tapes from the fit and famous, from weight trainers, even from
diet specialists who, at the push of the Play button, pop onto the TV
screen and yell for 20 minutes.

There's nothing wrong with sensible dieting to keep obesity at bay.  But
today, for normal-weight and even slender people, dieting has taken on the
aspect of war.  The enemy is the stuff that scientists call adipose tissue
and that the rest of the population knows as fat.  Although there are
growing numbers of men in the battalions, most of the foot soldiers are
women.  (Some studies show men tend to have positive images of themselves,
even when they are overweight; women tend to look at themselves with a more
negative eye.)  In an effort to be thin, women are ignoring signals from
their bodies, fighting against their genes and - increasingly - becoming
casualties.

At the University of South Florida, associate professor of psychology Kevin
Thompson, Ph.D., thinks he's figured out part of the problem:  Our mind's
eye makes us bigger than we really are.  And the more we worry about our
body images, the more we tend to mentally blow ourselves up.  He's designed
a test to show us how we see ourselves.

This is how I've come to be standing in a darkened little lab room, wearing
a spiffy hot-pink leotard and tights.  I am going to take Dr. Thompson's
body-image test.  A graduate student fiddles with some little wooden dowels
that slide on a board atop an overhead projector.  When I move the dowels,
I can narrow or widen the light beams projected onto the wall ten feet in
front of me.  To take the test, I stare at the wall and move the beams
until I think I have projected my own body size.  I am going to estimate
the widths of key points on my body - the ones Thompson thinks people worry
about the most:  my face (across the cheekbones), waist, hips and thighs.

This should be easy.  "Let's see," I think.  "If I were standing there...."
 I move the light beams in and out.  "Hmmm.  My waist is - no, it's bigger.
 Not that big.  Ah, this is right.  But hey, my thighs aren't that wide, at
least not if I push my knees together real hard.  Now my hips..."

When I finish positioning the light beams, the grad student measures me
with body calipers.  At that moment, I officially fall into the legion of
95 percent of Thompson's "normal" women subjects - I had overestimated my
body size.  Only by about 4 percent, mind you, but still my imagination
added about 5 pounds.  Even so, I didn't do badly.  Consider this:  A study
Thompson did showed that not only did 95 percent of women overestimate
their body size, they overestimated by an average of 25%.  The most extreme
overestimations, up to 75 percent, are among young  women with eating
disorders - anorexia and/or bulimia.

It was such a person who first led Thompson to his field of research. "In
1978, my first patient as a student therapist was a young woman who was
5'8" and weighed 85 pounds.  She pulled at the skin on her arms and said,
"Look!  |Don't you see how fat I am?"  She was a nutrition major.  That
sort of hit me in the face."  So what does this all mean?  Thompson
recently completed several studies to detail the causes of body-image
distortion.  He says, "It seems to be largely correlated with a lack of
self-esteem.  The better people feel about themselves, the less they tend
to overestimate their size."

One psychiatrist I talked with suggested the Barbie doll first exposes our
young psyches to slim-think.  Barbie is impossibly long-legged and slim,
with large, high, perky breasts.  But nobody is going to grow up to look
like Barbie.  To prove this, I measured a Barbie doll, then measured
myself.  I used our hips as the constant, and with a little ratio math found
that for me to look like Barbie, my bust would have to grow twelve inches,
my waist would have to shrink ten inches, and I would have to be 7'2"
tall.

Each person has, after all, about ten thousand taste buds that are on the
side of the enemy.  Early man, sitting around tearing apart a ground sloth
with his bare hands, trying to stuff it down before a tiger came along and
made dinner of it and dessert of him, probably didn't stop to think it
would be better sauteed with onions.  Man used to live quite nicely on a
few handfuls of insects a day.  If a woman had a few locusts for breakfast,
a few more for lunch, and was looking forward to her husband throwing a few
locusts on the grill for dinner, she probably wouldn't get up from her desk
at three o'clock and pace around the office having a locust attack.

Why can't men and women just be happy being a little on the round side?
Not health-hazard fat, but soft and cuddly?  One reason may be that we have
made sex into an art form.  Something people do for a good time without,
for the  most part, making babies.  A plump body, psychologists say, has
historically been associated with maternity.  To bear a healthy child, lug
it around the field and nurse it - maybe through hard times - would take a
woman with some adipose tissue reserve.  In many cultures men still like
their mates a little heavy to downright fat.

Women still have babies today, but American society thinks of sex as more
recreational than procreational.  And our lower infant/child mortality rate
means a woman doesn't have to have ten kids to see that one lives.

It's theorized, then, that the lean woman symbolizes sex for fun, not sex
for motherhood.  The problem is that nobody told her genes about this.  A
woman's biological systems are still primarily geared up for baby-making.

In the last few weeks before a baby is born, and during about the first
year after, its body makes fat cells.  Some people make fat cells during
puberty; but, for the most part, a cute toddler has most of the fat cells
she's going to have.  Then - and here's the problem - as a girl grows and
develops a lifestyle, so do her fat cells.  Although science is only
beginning to unravel the mysteries of fat cells, it is clear they vary from
person to person, behaving as if they have minds - or, it seems to me -
appetites  - of their own.

A friend of mine, a retired physician, says we have all simply "entered an
age of total narcissism."  I'd like to think I'm not a part of that.  But I
am.  The thin cues dance in my mind.  They're ballerinas.  Now that I'm
forty, my body wants to gain weight and I don't want it to.  My mouth would
like to send my hips and thighs more M&M's and french fries.  Now if
Thompson's body image test is right, I'm not as big as I think I am, and I
still have that five pounds to play around with.  But in the back of my
mind is the knowledge that I do not come from skinny people.  And the rest
of my life will be a contest between my genes and my jeans.

    I was standing in line in the cafeteria, and heard someone made
    the remark "boy she is sooo skinny"....so that shows us thin people
    that there will always be the remarks..you just can't let it bother
    you........I am proud to say, it doesnt bother me at all.
    
                                       Lynne

    Well I can't believe it.....
    
    I'm only 10 lbs under weight now and hope to stay that way.
    170lbs...
    
    I still get comments about being thin, and I enjoy them....
    
    Bill

    Big Bad Billy...
          Keep up the good work.....I wish I can say the same, but I
    haven't gained one measly pound....just keep those BIG MAC'S 
    coming....................
    
                                       Lynne!

    Lynne,
    
    	The Big Macs help but I think the main culprit is the Yougart
    that I have been devouring.  I never knew this but Yougart has more
    calories than Ice Cream.  (That is regular Yougart with Fruit.)
    It could also be that my system is slowing down due to age.  
    
    
    Bill

	I know a quite thin woman who is very attractive.  It may
	be the clothes she wears.  She looks healthy and I feel
	that she is comfortable with her looks.  Anyway I would
	not suggest that she needs to put on 10 or so lbs.