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Conference quark::human_relations-v1

Title:What's all this fuss about 'sax and violins'?
Notice:Archived V1 - Current conference is QUARK::HUMAN_RELATIONS
Moderator:ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI
Created:Fri May 09 1986
Last Modified:Wed Jun 26 1996
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1327
Total number of notes:28298

541.0. "H/R on the highways" by HOTJOB::GROUNDS (Suicide is painless) Mon Jul 18 1988 23:08

    I recently  read an article in July '88 WORCESTER MONTHLY about Mass.
drivers.  The gist of the article was that we are among the worst (if not
the worst) drivers in the  nation.    The  article points out that HOW we
drive is really a form of human relations in itself.  Excerpts follow.

        "Frank A. Kenel, staff director of Traffic Safety for
        the American Automobile Association in Falls Church,
        Virginia, did a study involving more that 1,000
        individuals to determine whether there is a
        correlation between personality types and poor driving
        records.  Not surprisingly, his research indicates
        that aggressive, Type-A personalities are much more
        likely to rack up multiple driving violations and get
        into accidents.  And interestingly enough, his study
        also found that so-called overcontrolled, passive
        individuals are also likely to get into a relatively
        high number of accidents."
                              ***
        "Donald M. Isaac, a Worcester psychologist who
        specializes in stress management, believes that
        people's personalities are apt to change when they get
        behind the wheel of a car.  'There's a certain amount
        of anonimity in a car,' Isaac says.  'You also have
        all that power, and I think a lot of people will
        displace some of their anger and frustration in the
        way they drive.'
                              ***
        Florida DMV's Prothero supports the Jekyll and Hyde
        theory.  'When you drive, you *are* the car,' he says.
        'You've expanded to the car, and we can let off
        aggressiveness because we feel we'll never see that
        person again.  And they can't get us anyway.'
                              ***

The article suggests that people must learn to concentrate  on  something
relaxing  when  driving  in traffic.  Last year, when I  was  driving  to
Andover form Shrewsbury every day for three weeks, I found that classical
music did the trick.  Any comments, highway horror stories, etc....
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
541.1Can you tell I'm a California driver?PSG::PURMALP. T. Barnum said it so long agoTue Jul 19 1988 05:4737
        I think that .0 points out a good way to deal with the current
    driving environment that we have.  However I feel that the best
    way to make driving safer is by changing the environment.  I would
    propose the following changes to make our roads better places to
    ride.
    
    1.  Do away with the 55 mph speed limit.  Make the roads have speed
        limits that take into account the road conditions.
    
        However, don't allow just anyone to exceed 55 mph.  In order to
        do so a driver must have shown competence to the level that they
        wish to drive.
    
        And the vehicle being driven must be properly fit to drive at
        speeds exceeding 55 mph.  The tires, brakes, and other features
        affecting safety must meet or exceed levels establised for the
        spped up to which the car is to be driven.
    
        Anyone wishing to be able to drive at speeds greater than 55
        mph would have to pay for the courses and auto inspections
        themselves.
    
    2.  Strict enforcement of laws that slower traffic keep right and
        faster traffic must follow proper passing protocol.
    
    3.  Better testing of drivers knowledge of the rules of the road,
        the principles of driving, and their actual driving skills.
    
    4.  Strict punishment for breaking the driver's or cars maximum
        speed limit, except when passing.
    
    I'm sure that there are a lot of areas that I've missed, but I do
    think that we could all work together to make the highways a better
    place to drive.  I'm not so sure that we can do much for city driving,
    but we could try there too.
    
    ASP
541.2The road, keep your mind on itGYPSC::BINGERANSWERS!! No no I have the questionsTue Jul 19 1988 09:276
    I usually concentrate on the roads. While driving at 125mph +, The
    mile in front and 200 yards on either side are the most important things
    in life.
    Music takes my mind off the road lulls me into a sense of false comfort
    and security.
    Stephen
541.3Keep the passing lane open!ANGORA::BUSHEELiving on Blues PowerTue Jul 19 1988 12:047
    
    	One of the best ways to improve the road safety would be to
    	enforce "slower trafic keep to the right".
    
    	 I've lost count how many times I've been driving down the
    	road only to encounter some jerk going slower than the main
    	trafic flow while staying in the passing lane.
541.4If you're only gonna go 30 Why are you on the hiway?NEXUS::GORTMAKERthe GortTue Jul 19 1988 12:577
    My big peeve is the people that are only going 30 mph at the end
    of a quarter mile long straight away on-ramp. BTW-these are also
    the same people that stop at the end of the ramp to look and see
    if anyone is coming. I keep asking new car dealers when a hood mounted
    rocket launcher will be a option. 8^)
    
    -j
541.5Driver "A"FLOWER::JASNIEWSKITue Jul 19 1988 13:3260
               
    	People drive (around here anyway) as if they are completely at 
    the mercy of their own emotions! I'm convinced of it...The "classic 
    examples" happens all the time...
    
    	Driver "A" is going too slow - he has control of the road and
    all who wish to drive faster. Driver "B" figures a way around, taking
    "control" away. Oooooh! Driver "A" doesn't *like* that! He had his
    'wittle power taken away! See how fast he's willing to drive now!!!
    
    	Not wishing to wait in line like everyone else, driver "A" cuts
    around the line, and tries to "force" driver "J" to give up his
    turn coming into the rotary. But driver "J" WILL NOT BE INTIMIDATED!
    Oooooh! Driver "A" doesn't *like* that! He had his 'wittle power
    taken away because driver "J" wouldnt succomb to his belligerance.
    See how he now manuevers like a manaic to pass NO MATTER WHAT IT
    TAKES!  
    
    	Not wishing to be passed, driver "A" wrings *every last drop*
    out of his automobile in a vain effort to out accelerate a motorcycle!
    Motorcycle easily out accelerates him and passes anyway. Ooooooh!
    Driver "A" doesn't *like* that! He had his 'wittle space taken away!
    (Doesnt matter that soon after the motorcycle has dissappeared from
    sight) See how he pound's his fist and curses noticably!
    
    	Driver "A" approaches Stop sign, looks and see cars coming at
    a rapid speed; pulls out anyway - running the stop sign - making
    all the other cars come to a near stop on the main road. "Wow! I'm
    really somethin'" Driver "A" snickers to himself as he leasurely 
    come up to speed.
    
    	Driver "A" is making a left hand turn. He's convinced that's
    it's not possible for to wait for a break in the oncoming traffic,
    nor for the light to turn red stopping oncoming traffic so he can
    clear himself from the middle of the intersection, he HAS to "jump"
    the light, cutting off those who have the actual right-of-way! Gawd,
    he certainly must be an important fellow, to be in such a hurry...
    All us sheepish folk had just better let him go ahead, I guess.
    
    	Driver "A" is farting along in the right hand lane this time.
    He isnt paying any attention, or at the most, he's paying the least
    attention to what's going on as possible - guess that's what the
    right hand lane is for! Someone wants to get onto the highway, but
    since driver "A" CARES FOR NO ONE EXCEPT HIMSELF, he doesnt bother
    to notice this and with clockwork synchronicity, he causes someone
    else to lose all the momentum he developed to attain highway speed.
    Now, someone else cant attain highway speed, because all the
    acceleration ramp is gone. Of course, it would be too much to expect
    driver "A" to notice, pull over into the middle lane, and allow
    someone else onto the highway. Guess he didnt HAVE TO. Besides,
    he wouldnt get his 'wittle power stroke!!! 
          
    Many peoples emotions are based on a warped sense of ego, which
    was probably due to something like an imbalanced dysfunctional
    childhood. They are acting out the "power" and "control" that their
    parents had in an absolute sense over them as children. These Driver
    "A"s *are* children, in a sense. Watch out for yourself; They're
    out there...
    
    	Joe Jas
541.6PBA::GIRARDTue Jul 19 1988 16:261
    Everyone is in a big hurry to stand in line...
541.7A little extra courtesy can make everyone feel goodMOIRA::FAIMANA goblet, a goblet, yea, even a hoopTue Jul 19 1988 18:4116
    Have you ever been driving along a back road ... there's a car in
    front of you doing, say, 5-10 mph less than you want to do ... and
    after you've been on his tail for a mile or two, HE PULLS OVER AND
    LETS YOU GO BY? 
    
    And it works the other way, too ... when someones's been on your
    tail for a while, instead of saying to yourself, "I'm doing 10 mph
    over the speed limit, and that should be fast enough for anyone",
    you can pull over to the side.  It takes maybe 10 seconds; you can
    relax now, with no one on your tail; that "speed demon" can relax,
    too, and stop worrying how to get around you.
    
    If we all did this, can you imagine how much the average blood
    pressure around here would go down? 
    
    	-Neil
541.8exPARITY::DDAVISTHINK SUNSHINETue Jul 19 1988 18:587
    RE:.7
    
    That's the ticket...
    And what about the bozo that runs red lights???  AAAAARGGGGGHHHHH!
    Driving in Massachusetts is hazardous to my health.
    
    
541.9RANCHO::HOLTRobert A HoltWed Jul 20 1988 05:477
    
    I have learned a technique called California Zen Driving.
    
    This is a state of mind that transcends all the ego battles.
    It even works in Massachusetts (at least when I've tried it).
    
    
541.10Have a nice day49ER::HASSETTWed Jul 20 1988 22:337
I also practice California Zen Driving, even on my motorcycle.  It works
wonders - no tension, all good feeling, and when I do get the urge to go
125+mph, it's always safe.  But then again, the freeways in California are
usually wonderful; anyone else fallen in love with I-280, "World's most scenic
freeway?"  I could drive it forever.

				// greg //
541.11DescrpitionELESYS::JASNIEWSKII know from just bein' aroundThu Jul 21 1988 12:096
    
    	Well,...All this about California Zen Driving? Describe the
    technique for us all!
    
    	Joe Jas
    
541.12If you don't happen to like it, pass me by.SWSNOD::DALYSerendipity 'R' usThu Jul 21 1988 12:3815
    RE:  .7 MOIRA::FAIMAN
    
    > ... and after you've been on his tail for a mile or so, HE PULLS
    > OVER AND LETS YOU GO BY?
    
    Hay, I do that alot!  I *hate* to be pressured {do you hear that,
    boss, *HATE* :^) }, and sometimes I just love to putz down some
    back road doin' just below the limit.  A tail gaiter can really
    take the mellow out of that situation, so I will usually just put
    on the old right turn signal, pull over, and let the tail gater
    go ahead.  I fugure the person probably has to go to the bathroom
    reeeeeal bad, and I'd hate to be the cause of an accident.
    
    Marion
    
541.13Bumpersticker needed: "I stop for tailgaters!"SHALE::HUXTABLEFri Jul 22 1988 01:3318
    I have pulled over to let people by on a two-lane highway.
    Some people pass.  Some people pass and look at me like I'm
    crazy. Some people pass and flip me off.  (They may decide to
    drive 30mph in front of me for a while just to let me know
    how annoyed they are.)  Some people drop back (assuming I'm
    pulling over because of car trouble?) until I get on the road
    again and then resume tailgating. 

    I've given it up as a bad job.  Does anyone have any insight
    into why it would annoy someone to do this?  One opinion I've
    heard is that the tailgater is annoyed perhaps because they
    weren't really paying any attention to what was going on, and
    now I've acted decisively in a way that (to them) tells them
    I'm annoyed at their tailgating.  Then the usual rules about
    increased aggressiveness while driving apply:  they now
    believe I'm annoyed, so they get p*ssed off right back... 

    -- Linda Huxtable
541.14Bullies of the highwayQUARK::LIONELMay you live in interesting timesFri Jul 22 1988 04:2314
    I think pulling over on a tailgater is like walking away from
    a bully - it makes the bully feel powerless, so he generally does
    something else to regain the sense of power.
    
    Back when I was in college, and was driving on a dark road one night,
    I pulled over to let a tailgater pass.  Pass he did, then slowed
    down to a crawl until I passed him, and this leapfrog continued
    until I finally pulled over and stopped, and he continued on.  I
    was VERY nervous for a while, I tell you!
    
    As for "California Zen Driving" - doesn't that require a pistol
    permit? :-)
    
    				Steve
541.15SWSNOD::DALYSerendipity 'R' usFri Jul 22 1988 13:3219
    RE:  .13
    
    Yes!  They _do_ look at you as they pass you as if you were crazy.
    And sometimes they do feel they should express their hostility in
    one form or another.  I have assumed they do it because they figure
    I am a space shot who doesn't know where I'm going.  When I pull
    over and they blow their horn or gesture, I figure they are saying
    "and _stay_there_, you $#$%^!!"  Don't forget, most people who tail
    gate you are frustrated with your rate of speed.  When you pull
    over, you must first slow down.  This only enrages them more.  Though
    your pulling over is clearly to _their_ advantage, you catch them
    at the apex of their frustration.  Actually, I pull over for _my_
    benefit.  I figure that there are many sources of stress in my life
    that I have no control over, but this sort of situation is _not_
    one of them.  If I have gone to the trouble of planning my schedule
    well enought that I can have the luxury of not being in a hurry,
    I'm not going to let a tailgater take that luxury away from me.
    
    Marion
541.16I'll admit to tailgaitingPSG::PURMALP. T. Barnum said it so long agoFri Jul 22 1988 15:4820
    re: .13
    
        I'll admit to being a tailgaiter, but only when people are
    travelling under the speed limit on a one lane road where conditions
    permit faster travel, or when they are in the left lane of a multi
    lane road where there is no way to get around them in one of the
    right lanes.  Before taligaiting I follow at a 2 second distance
    behind them and politely flash my lights two or three times to try
    to get their attention.  I try that a couple of times, and I try
    to do it when they are using their rear view mirror (which most
    rarely do).  If that doesn't work I'll honk at them a couple of
    times, then I'll tailgait.  When people do pull over I try to show
    them that I appreciate their curtosy by giving them a wave.  I'm
    often greeted by a finger from the person who was rudely holding
    me up.

        Of course I also try to practice what I preach.  I drive in
    the rightmost lane, and I get over to let people by me.
    
    ASP
541.17Valuing speed differencesMOIRA::FAIMANA goblet, a goblet, yea, even a hoopFri Jul 22 1988 16:559
    Well, I can promise that when you pull over to let me pass, you'll
    get appreciation and a friendly wave.  
    
    It all goes with "valuing differences", I think. :-)  You want to
    drive 55, I want to drive 60, he wants to drive 65.  If I'm entitled
    to my speed, so are you and he.  If I would like you to pull over
    for me, then certainly he would like me to pull over for him.
    
    	-Neil 
541.18I go for the zen approach, myself...TLE::RANDALLI feel a novel coming onFri Jul 22 1988 18:0219
    I've noticed often the people who tailgate on multilane highways
    when I'm passing a car in the right lane often don't give me the
    amount of space I need to pull back over to the right before they
    blast into the narrow space to pass me on the right. 
    
    I've nearly been in two serious accidents (both on 495) because
    of this.  
    
    Tailgating itself distracts me because I'm not such a good driver
    that I enjoy thinking that if I have to hit the brakes, I'm going
    to get a BMW or whatever in my trunk at 70 mph.  In addition, the
    honking and flashing lights usually distract me and make it take
    longer to get over because I'm distracted by his behavior,
    checking out other possibilities -- is there a semitruck about to
    crash into us?  No, he must want me to pull over. 
    
    This is why I don't go into Boston unless I absolutely have to. 

    --bonnie
541.19VAXWRK::CONNOROn no! Not Another Light Bulb JokeFri Jul 22 1988 18:4612
	RE. Last Few

	Where do u folks drive?  The number of times a driver in
	front going slow pulls over I can count on one hand. Most
	of the time they will sit there ignoring you even if you signal
	such as flashing lites or a short horn. It can be exasperating
	and raises the blood pressure. Like some others I don't like
	to tailgate since it can be dangerous.

	BTW I found one of the best responses to a finger is a wave
	and a smile; it really p*sses most of them off.

541.20US vs THEMIAMOK::KOSKITiming is everythingFri Jul 22 1988 19:5520
    I think I'm one of the "thems". I don't tailgait but usually people
    are intimidated when I come flying up their back side. But I hit
    the brakes soon enough and stay sort of a cars length behind the
    slow car. I found it rather amazing the first time someone actually
    pulled over and let me pass. No resentment was felt on my part,
    I'm no bully on the country roads I travel (and live) It's just
    that I'm very familiar with the area and it takes me so long to
    get anywhere as it is. In some spots I just don't see the need to do 
    much less than 10mph over the posted speed limit. 
    
    I take a live and let live attitude on the roads, I wish others
    would as well. I don't think the slow person in front of me is
    a jerk, it's their right to putter along if they like, as well as
    mine to get on with my day by passing them.
    
    So many people feel so possesive of the road space they are occupying,
    that to them, it is a battle to the death to defend it...Hmph there
    are better things out there to get that worked up about!
    
    Gail
541.21Does it ever make 'em mad!BSS::BLAZEKDancing with My SelfSat Jul 23 1988 00:188
    re: .19
    
    	You're right that a wave to someone who gives you the finger
    	will generally p*ss them off, but my favorite thing to do is
    	blow them a kiss.  Am sure it improves my Karma.  =8*)
    
    						Carla
    
541.22ThhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhpppppppttttttttttPSG::PURMALP. T. Barnum said it so long agoMon Jul 25 1988 15:515
        Sometimes I thumb my nose at people who give me the finger.
    For some reason that seems to disturb them more than a finger in
    return.
    
    ASP
541.23REGENT::GALLANTTouched by a tiger's rage...Mon Jul 25 1988 18:01124
    	This was forwarded to me by a friend of mine a few weeks ago.
    	I think it fits the type of driving in MA to a perfect fit!!
    
    	As far as tailgating...I do it.  But only after a flash of
    	the high beams or a toot of the horn doesn't work.  The route
    	I travel every morning is a two lane highway.  I've always
    	understood that the slower traffic stays to the right, so the
    	traffic that wishes to go faster can pass them on the left,
    	some people don't follow that rule. 
    
    	They seem to think that it's okay to pull into the left hand
    	lane (after looking mind you) when they can see me flying up
    	that particular lane and there is not a single soul behind me!!!
    
    	THAT bothers me.  I may not have the patience to drive 55,
    	but apparently this other person doesn't have the patience to
    	wait until I've passed them to pull over....
    
    	Anyways!  Now that I've gotten that out of my system, here's
    	the little MA etiquette.....(reprinted without permission and
    	without editing)
    
    
    			Macho Driving in Massachusetts

     Those of you who have been driving in Massachusetts all your lives are
familiar with many of the so-called macho driving techniques.  Drivers from out
of state, new to the macho driving scene, are probably curious as to what these
people are up to.  So here are some tips for macho driving in Massachusetts: 

     1.  You should drive a pickup truck whether you need one or not.  It should
be extremely large with lots of blinding yellow fog lights.  If it doesn't have
them already, purchase used tires from MX missile transport trucks (roughly six
feet in diameter) and raise the suspension to allow clearance over the wimps
that drive cars.  If you must drive a car, make sure that it couldn't possibly
pass inspection. 

     2.  Practice your best scowl.  Remember that this is the only expression
you are permitted to show once behind the wheel.  So make it as ugly as
possible.

     3.  Do NOT be intimidated by the weather.  It should never affect your
macho driving style.  Under no circumstances should you use windshield wipers.
The are for appearance only.  If snow has blanketed your vehicle, clear a peep-
hole just large enough to see what's in front of you.  You are not permitted to
leave your vehicle to do this, however!  If you can't reach around to the
windshield while you are driving, then put on your defroster and windshield
wipers full blast until you can just see the road. 

     4.  Darkness intimidates wimps!  Only use your headlights when its pitch
dark and you see the police.  Of course, if you do have those blinding yellow
fog lights, you may use them whenever you see fit.  It is also considered macho
if only one front headlight works. 

     5.  Always drive with your right hand on the wheel and your entire left arm
hanging loosely out the window like a slab of meat. 

     6.  Any loose objects in the vehicle may be thrown out of the window
without hesitation (especially macho is throwing out burning objects like
cigars). 

     7.  The only appropriate time to use directional signals, if you must use
them at all, is while you're driving in a straight line down the highway (you
could actually leave them on all the time since nobody really believes you are
going to turn anyway). 

     8.  You must be prepared to yell obscenities at and give the finger to
anything that moves.  If you are always prepared, you will beat the other macho
drivers to the punch. 

     9.  In Massachusetts, the road sign YIELD has no meaning, but the sign STOP
means YIELD.  A flashing yellow or green light means the same thing as a YIELD
sign, and a flashing red light is the same as a STOP sign.  You must never come
to a complete stop unless the vehicle in front of you comes to a complete stop.
Only wimps stop for red lights.  So be sure to blast your horn the split second
the light turns green. 

    10.  Driving in the breakdown lane is strongly encouraged.  Passing traffic
in the breakdown lane on multi-lane highways is particularly macho. Driving over
the road shoulder or on top of the median strip to get around traffic should be
left to the experienced macho driver. 

    11.  Passing traffic on winding, narrow roads without hesitation will gain
the respect of other macho drivers. 

    12.  Never yield to emergency road vehicles such as ambulances.  They will
find a way to get around you (they should never have caught up with you in the
first place). 

    13.  You must master the art of tailgating to become a full-fledged macho
driver.  With practice, it is possible to maintain a distance of two to three
inches between you and the vehicle in front of you without even paying
attention! This is particularly confusing to the driver when you are in heavy
traffic.  If the driver in front of you tries something cute like slowing down,
jamming on the brakes, or flipping the lights on and off, be ready with your
obscenities and finger.  Remember that you are always in a bigger hurry than the
guy in front of you. 

    14.  Another art to master is that of "cutting off" other drivers. This must
be done with great care when cutting off other macho drivers. Sometimes it is
necessary to wait for the oncoming vehicle for quite some time before rolling
out in front of it, but that is the art.  Your mission is to see the front of
the vehicle you're cutting off nearly hit the ground as it brakes to a
screeching halt.  Of course, you appear never to have seen the oncoming vehicle
even though you had to wait for it.  You must then be careful not to accelerate
until the driver you just cut off has finished giving you the finger and yelling
obscenities. 

    15.  Sometimes associated with "cutting off" is the ability to close off
gaps in traffic.  This is one of my favorite macho-driving techniques. When you
detect a vehicle either trying to pull into traffic or accelerating towards you
in an attempt to get past you, you must adjust your speed such that the gap in
traffic will NOT be there when the vehicle gets to it.  You must anticipate the
driver's intention while nonchalantly altering your speed to intercept.  A fun
variation of this technique is to use it to prevent vehicles from getting on or
off the highway.  Remember that you must not notice the other driver's
predicament as he/she jams on the brakes. 

    16.  The experienced macho driver is capable of eating lunch, drinking a
beer, and having complete sexual relations while performing all the above
activities simultaneously.  So practice up! 

          [*> Is a lady barrister without here briefs a solicitor? <*]
541.25ERIS::CALLASWaiter, there's a bug in my codeMon Jul 25 1988 21:205
    re .23:
    
    Actually, the "Yield" sign means "hurry."
    
    	Jon
541.26Tell me, Mike...BSS::BLAZEKDancing with My SelfMon Jul 25 1988 21:5012
541.28(*#@&$E(*@#&$SCOMAN::WCLARKbite the wax tadpoleTue Jul 26 1988 12:5412
    re .20:
    
    >In some spots I just don't see the need to do 
    >much less than 10mph over the posted speed limit.
    
    GRRR! Did you ever consider the possibility that a 3-year old
    on a bike might cut out of somebody's driveway into the road?
    I live on a country road with lots of kids and I'm amazed at 
    the complete a**holes who go tearing up the street every day.
    Heaven help the SOB that hits on of MY kids.
    
    -Dave
541.29IAMOK::KOSKITiming is everythingTue Jul 26 1988 13:256
    Calm down, this road is surrounded on both sides by fields. I don't
    make a habit of flying around thickly settled neighborhoods...
    It happens to be that I like to walk on some of these roads as well
    and don't appreciate cars screaming around the corner, either. What I'm
    refering to are roads where a speed of 40 is reasonable and the
    posted speed is usually a horse drawn 25 or 30. 
541.30 Take it easyRETORT::RONThu Jul 28 1988 18:218
This subject was beaten to death in a previous note (301, I think),
which ended up write locked, with a bunch of replies returned to
their authors. Some of the more genial terms used there were (if
memory serves): 'Jerks', 'Nazis', 'Obnoxious' etc., etc.. 

-- Ron