Conference quark::human_relations-v1

532.0. "Friends, no comments required." by SAGE::MESSINO (alias: Emery Boddy) Tue Jun 28 1988 21:43

	Following is a short synopsis of the main points in Carnegie's book
    "How to Win Friends and Influence People."  I use it every so often as
    a reminder.  I hope you might find it useful as well.            
                                                                     
    Regards,                                                         
                                                                     
    SM                                                               
                                                                     
                                                                    
                                             
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1. Do not propose to judge or criticize others.  Look at the
other person's position from their perspective.

2. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.
Always be sincere and learn from others.

3. First arouse in another person an eager want.  Find what they
want and use it to reach your objective.

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1. Become genuinely interested in other people and they will
be interested in you.

2. Smile, its the best first impression.

3. Always remember a person's name.

4. Be a good listener, encourage other to talk about themselves.

5. Talk in term's of the other person's interest.

6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.

          a. Complement people

          b. Get people to talk about their favorite subject
          themselves.

          c. always show people your appreciation of their
          thoughts, ideas, and actions.

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1. The only way to get the best of an arquement is to avoid it.

2. Show respect for another person's opinion. Never tell them
their wrong.

3. If you are wrong admit it quickly and emphatically

4. To win people to your way of thinking begin in a friendly way.

5. Get the other person to say yes, yes, immediately.  An answer of
NO is the hardest to overcome.

6. Let the other man do a great deal of the talking.

7. Let the other person feel an idea is theirs and you will get
their cooperation. (Lead them to an idea that is your objective.)

8. Try honestly to see things from the other's point of view.

9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.

10. Appeal to people's nobler motives, good sense and desire to do
the right thing.

11. Dramatize your ideas in presentations and conversation.

12. People love to be challenged.  If you want them to think your
way throw down a challenge.

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1. If you must find fault begin with praise and honest
appreciation.

2. Criticize people by calling attention to their mistakes
indirectly.

3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing another person.

4. No one likes to take orders, ask questions instead of giving
direct orders.

5. When the other person is wrong, let them save face.

6. Praise the slightest improvement, and praise every improvement
and you will spur others on to success. (Be hearty in your
approbation and lavish in your praise.)

7. Give a person a good reputation to live up to and they will.

8. Use encouragement.  Make the fault you want to correct seem easy
to correct; make the thing you want the other person to do seem
easy to do.  This way you will change people without giving
offense or arousing resentment.

9. Make the person happy about doing what you suggest.

          a.  Give a person a status or title that makes
          them feel important.

          b.  Make a person feel they are to important
          to be performing certain activities.

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1. Ask people for favors that make them feel important.

          a. Ask people about things that they feel they are an
          expert at.

          b. Be sincere.

2. Be courteous

3. Don't nag
 
4. Pay attention to people and their successes.

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