Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    I lived in California for 10 years and it just seemed to come with
    the territory.

       
       
       	I know alot of these people personally...  'sides, I really
       	don't care what others may think..
       
       	Been doing it for years..
       
       							mike

    Like Mike said, it's a combination of things. Part is a holdover
    from when the Noters community was very small and most people did
    know each other. Part is not caring if people think badly of you,
    just because you are a frank and truthful person. And in my case,
    the largest part of it is that the topics we discuss here in H_R
    are things that interest me a very great deal. These are things
    I have thought about, talked about with other people, and have always
    been interested in what conclusions other people have reached.
    
    I decided (way back when SEXCETERA existed (it doesn't anymore))
    that if we were going to discuss inter-personal relationships,
    then the best way for this to be of value, was to be forthright
    and truthful and express my feelings on things. I decided that whatever
    I said here, while going to a much larger audience, was the same
    sort of thing I would say in any random group of people I happened
    to come across who were discussing the same things. We used to talk
    about these things in my college dorm, at parties, at lunch, at
    science fiction conventions, etc. More people can see it, but I'm
    still saying the same types of things.

    Tamzen    
    

    I don't know any of these people personally.  Sometimes it's just
    easier to solicit opinions from people who are totally removed from
    the situation and who don't know any of the participants.  I've
    only entered one base note in this conference,and the feedback I
    got back was really thought provoking and I found it very interesting
    and helpful.  The people in this notesfile, from  my own experience
    as well as reading replies to various notes, seem to be very supportive
    and helpful and it's very easy to "open up" when you're surrounded
    by such people.  Of course, there IS a limit as to how much of my
    guts I will spill in this forum, but I don't think that's unusual.
                                           
    It's neat to see how other people would react to a situation I'm
    in now.  And it's nice to know you're not the only one that goes
    through some of the things that are mentioned in various basenotes
    in this notesfile.  I've found it very reassuring to do a directory
    and see a note entered by someone I don't even know regarding something
    that's been on my mind.  It's a good sanity check!
    
    Cherie
    

    This is, in all intents and purposes, a bulletin board. Bearing
    one's soul is a personal and intensely private experience. 
    
    Even mail lessens the intensity and makes it part of the electronic
    stream of things.  Nothing can replace a close conversation with
    someone looking at your eyes and paying attention to what you are
    saying, being involved enough so when you walk away you feel that
    your life was touched by someone who genuinely cared.

    I'm a writer.  I get my kicks out of baring my soul in public.
    
    --bonnie

    It seems that just writing out your problems/concerns makes you
    feel better about the situation. It helps you gain perspective.
    Writting to elicit advise from perfect strangers is in many ways
    easier than gathering the same feedback from close friends. 
    
    I've noticed that the contributors to this file do a good job in
    contributing (for the most part) nonjudgemental feedback. It is
    always reasuring to find out that there are others out there that
    think/feel the same things you do, be those feelings joyous or sad.

    Gail
    

    I simply say in writing the same things I would say in person. 
    
    Barb

    re. 5
    
    This is exactly how I feel, especially....
    
    > This is, in all intents and purposes, a bulletin board. Bearing
    > one's soul is a personal and intensely private experience. 
      
    I'm sure I will end up participating at some point because I do
    like what goes on in here.  But for me, it will take some time.
    
    Sue

    
    	It's inately much easier to write out of real time, than to speak
    in real time for most, I believe. In the Editor, I can take my time,
    look things over from top to bottom to be sure that's what I really
    want to say, before I hit a ^Z and "say it". Most of us simply cannot
    do that in conversation. Therfore, this type of communication is
    very different than speaking at, say, a live debate.
    
    	I deleted and reentered a note once, just because this "of"
    should have been an "as". Try *that* in conversation! Part of the
    loss of inhibition may be due to that fact that you can think some,
    here, before you open your mouth.
    
    	Joe Jas
    

    RE .0  It's like typing into a TV program at home.  Only the
           TV talks back to you.  In my mind it's much better than TV.
    
           TV is all programming save for some news related type shows.
           Here there are live people on the other side of that picture.
           There is a very real factor of involvement that TV today
           does not have.
    
           My first note was in mennotes in Nov '87.  Something about
           the sexes.  I had little idea of what I was doing or what
           to 'expect.'  I figured that some people might be interested
           in the 'issue' although it really wasn't an issue at all.
    
           It was kind of scary seeing everyone get mad at one another.
           Emotions come out on the silliest things and personalities
           can have a way of joining/clashing.
    
      re .5  You're right. It's largely a bulletin board.  Still, 
            enough information passes thru to form mental pictures
            of noters.  
    
             Those that bare their souls are the most interesting.
    
    
                                                       Russ P.

    
    I select what I want told.  I won't bear my soul on the net.  I
    prefer talking to an extremely close friend about personal data.
    
    Dwight