Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    I love Valentines day :-). However, what I get or don't get has
    no bearing on my feelings of being loved. 
    Bonnie

    Well, I love any excuse for flowers, balloons, cards (silly and/or
    romantic), candy and surprises. So Valentine's Day is a wonderful
    excuse to "get mushy" and do nice things for people I care about.
    
    I never put a lot of serious meaning to it. It was basically
    meaningless for most of my life, since I didn't date or have boyfriends
    until late in college. And to my mind whether I get anything for
    Valentine's has absolutely nothing to do with "proving" that I am
    loved. That happens every day. I know I am loved beause I see evidence
    of our love every day. Valentine's Day is a good excuse to be silly,
    but nothing more to me.
    
    Tamzen                  
                                                             

    My son was suppose to have been born on Valentine's Day, but decided
    to come out four weeks early.  I still think of him on Valentine's
    Day because he is the only one who is close enough to continually
    capture my heart the way you need to feel on Valentine's Day.
    
    Otherwise the day is like any other.  Except some people remember
    something that most other days they forget...

    
    I like it. 
    
    It comes at a nice time of year; I think February is kinda depressing
    sometimes. 
    
    

    last valentine card I got was from a girlfriend who, like me, had
    gone through a miserable break-up the month before.  It was a Cathy
    card.
    
    FRONT: "On Valentine's Day, women all across the country say those
    special three words..."
    
    INSIDE: [cathy grimacing and clenching a fist] "'I hate men!!'"
    
    Perfect medicine for a broken [temporarily] heart...
    
    lt

        It is a pleasant holiday. Each year I send out handmade
    Victorian Valentines to friends and relatives.
    
       The place to get them is the Old Town Hall Exchange in Lincoln,
    Ma. They are the very best.
    
                                                      Russ

    re 5.
    
    Nice card, excuse my ignorance, who's 'Cathy'
    
    In Britain, the custom is to send Valentines cards anonymously,
    to those you secretly admine, thats kinda fun.
    
    I remember one:
    
    FRONT:
    
    Statistics show that most couples have sex on their third date.
    
    
    INSIDE:
    
    Tomorrow, I'm free for breakfast, lunch and dinner.... :^]
    
    Never figured out who sent it.
    
    Steve

    Cathy is a character from and the name of a very funny comic
    strip that appears in many of the daily newspapers here in
    the states.  She's a "liberated working woman", and the strip
    pokes fun at all the foibles of such women and the society
    we all live in.  My father evilly sends me this comic every
    so often, when he thinks that Cathy's dilemma is much like my
    own.  He also sends me Broom Hilda, which has a witch as the
    main character....
    
    --Louise

    
    Off the subject of this note a bit....
    
    	re:  .8  I like the story about the woman who draws
    Cathy and how the cartoon strip started.  She would draw
    little cartoons on her letters home to her parents while
    she was attending college.  Interesting how that turned
    into such a popular comic strip, books, etc! 
    
    	Myra 

    Well, I got my Valentines Day Present early this year....  Bob
    had my car fixed for me.... That was better than any dozen red roses!
    
    Also... for you that have the Greater Boston Books... go out to
    eat on the 13th.... (the night before!).... the coupons are not
    valid on Valentines day!
    
    Gale        

    Like any other holiday, it's easy to let yourself get dismayed by
    the commercialism of Valentine's Day.  But it's also easy to ignore
    all that and just enjoy it.  It is not necessary to spend big bucks
    (but Jerry - where do you find a dozen long-stemmed red roses for
    $10 nowadays?) - just do something from the heart.  And it makes
    a great excuse to try something decadent that you might not be able
    to justify to yourself normally.
    
    					Steve

    
    Sherm

    I went past a cemetery in Tewksbury and noticed a Valentine balloon
    bouquet attached to a headstone.
    
    It brought tears to my eyes and pleasant thoughts that someone would
    love that much.

    
    
    	  If you think the cost of roses are high now...
    
    	From what I heard, Holland (which is the largest distribtor
    of roses in the world) first sends them to Florida where they go
    through customs. Last week, however, stuffed inside a box of flowers
    was also a shipment of cocaine. Now, the customs agents are holding
    these boxes longer and also damaging most of them by poking holes
    in them and letting their dogs go through to sniff for cocaine.
    That means there will be alot less undamaged roses, (they don't
    last too long un-refrigerated in customs) causing prices to go 
    even HIGHER!
    
    	Is there no end???
    
    Dan
    

    I guess I'm the Scrooge of Valentines day.  Well, maybe not that
    bad, but it's a day that holds so little meaning for me now.
    
    I think I went too many times without a Valentine and actually
    allowed myself to get depressed and lonely over it.  Really 
    pretty silly when I look back now.  But I don't really care 
    about the day now.  I love the little cards I get from my
    nieces and nephews, but my heart wouldn't break if I didn't
    get any others.  
    
    There's a man that I date now who I know is going to make
    a big deal out the day this year, and I really wish he wouldn't.
    
    
                                            cj *->
    

I like Valentines Day.  I've always enjoyed sending cards to let people know
that I appreciate them, and this special day just provides another opportunity/
reminder.

In the past I hadn't been involved in any special/significant relationship
at Valentines Day... but I currently am (!) and am therefore really looking
forward to a "special time" for me and my SO.

re. 0

Your questions were thought provoking... do I dare ask what YOU think...noticed
you hadn't resonded yet!?

Penny

Well, I definitely like doing things for people, particularly nice surprises...

However, I don't like to do them on holidays because I feel like there is too
much of the atmosphere of 'have to's', rather then 'want to's'.  When it becomes
expected, it becomes less worth to doing.  I also like to do noncommercial
things, and holidays often leave me with too little time to do the thing *I*
might like to do, because there are too many things that I am *supposed* to
do... 

Why make a special deal out of it?  Either you love them or you don't.  Either
they know it, or they don't.  How is one day going to change that?

Jim. 

    RE: .19
    
    Well, then - phooey to you on Chrismas, Easter, Fourth of July,
    Mother's day, Father's day, etc.  So, who needs holidays?????
                                     
    I like to take the time I normally wouldn't (without the
    commericialism) to expand on these special days.  You don't have
    to do it big to remember someone.                    
                                                         
    
    
    .....just a little note from the peanut gallery......
    

re .19

    Just another day to me.
    
    -j

    Well folks, I have read all the articles from 0-?... And it seems
    to be as vague as the original question with the folks posturing
    pro and con. One question is if Valintines day is a day created
    for the merchants. Or is it a day with meaning. I would say to all
    it is in the heart. It can be as meaningful as you want it to be.
    It is wounderful to have a spouce, like I have, who gives of her
    heart in every way. It not how big the roses are, or who gives what
    to whom. It is the reminder that we have each other and that the
    world could fall into ruins tomorrow. And so long as we are together
    it just doesn't matter. We are so busy in our daily task of creating
    a perfect world to live in, we can forget what it could be like
    without the ones we love so much. It doesn't have to even be a member
    of the oposite sex either. It just doesn't matter!! What matters
    is that our own little worlds will be safe when we go home tonight
    and that we will share our lives with the one that cares the most
    to us. It is from the heart I am sharing these words to you. So
    your hearts will be opened to the sweeter things of life. Life itself.
    
    Live Long and Prosper
    George

    What's the big deal about florists charging a lot for roses on
    Valentine's day? Florists have to eat, too, and there's only so many
    roses in the world. 
    
    For me, it means simply that I find something else to give.
    Philosophically, I belong to the "knock-'em-off-guard" school of gift-
    giving. The best present is a delightful one that you didn't expect. 
    
    Yes, I know there are problems with this theory. They're best summed up
    in the phrase, "But, Jon, if you don't *tell* me what to get you, how
    am I supposed to know?" that I hear at least once a year. I'm in the
    same position, too, because if a birthday or something creeps up on me
    and I haven't had time to think, I spend hours wandering aimlessly
    though stores and thumbing through catalogs until serendipity strikes.
    That doesn't mean I don't subscribe to my philosophy, though. It just
    means I recognize that it ain't perfect. 
    
    Commonly, I give music for Valentines day. If the recipient has a sense
    of humor as warped as mine, there are lots of delightfully
    inappropriate gifts to be found in a record store: Don Giovanni,
    Tristan and Isolde, Carmen, Madame Butterfly, and my personal favorite,
    Dialogues of the Carmelites (it's about religious persecution, and
    therefore appropriate to the true spirit of Valentine's Day). The mind
    reels with the opportunities. For the timid, there is Cosi fan Tutti,
    The Magic Flute, etc.
    
    Then there's always a bottle of wine and a few frost-bitten daffodils.
    
    I could go on, but my SO reads this conference and I've tipped my hand
    enough as it is. She will have to draw her own conclusions about what I
    am and am not getting for her.
    
    	Jon 

    re.19
    	Jim..Thats how you feel but what about your SO? You just might
    be sleeping in the DOG HOUSE come valentines day?

Methinks I detect "sour grapes" in .19; maybe the absence of a truly 
Significant Other does make Valentine's Day a bit of a crock!  (-: ~/~

			Nigel

Well, you don't sound very grapeful!!!

Anyway, since the 1920's, isn;t it traditional to celebrate Valentine's day
with a massacre?????

				Nigel

    RE. 28 A Mass. acre ?? Have you priced lots lately ?

    
    The best Valentine gift that can be given to me from my SO is simply
    hearing out loud.
    	"Have I told you lately I REALLY love you?"
    
    That bets any card, flowers, or other commercial output.
    I see Valentine's Day as a time to stop taking for granted your
    SO and reaffirm your love.
    
    Mary Ann
    

    Valentine's Day.....a day which gives some people the courage to
    demonstrate their affection.  
    
    Valentine's Day isn't just for "romantic" relationships but for
    any relationship which affects our lives.  Everyone needs to know
    they're loved....they're special...they're cared for.  When I was
    little, I remember special dinners with red tablecloths, red dresses,
    flowers, and a heart shaped cake.  Mother succeeded in making it     
    a special day....we were a close family but on this day, we all      
    felt closer.  When I went away to school, Valentine's Day seemed     
    like any other day until I walked into my room and found a beautiful 
    azalea from my sister and her husband.                               
                                                                         
    I've read about the want to's versus the have to's.  I think any     
    sensible person can recognize a gift given from the heart or given   
    for the sake of appearance.  Valentine's Day can be a delightful     
    day...it's all what you make it!!!!                                  
                                                                         
    This year I'm doing all the cooking for my mother's dinner party...  
    wish me luck!!!!                                                     
                                                                         
    Kris                                                                 
                                                                         

    Kris,
    
    	Its from the heart, thats what counts. And Home is where the
    Heart is....
    
    George

    re:.12
    
    "Like any other holiday, it's easy to let yourself get dismayed
    by the commercialism of Valentine's Day."
    
    True. but, like Christmas, as much as I gripe about the commer-
    cialism of Valentine's Day (actually, most holidays seem to be
    overcommercialized these days), I still enjoy it.
    
    "It is not necessary to spend big bucks...just do something from
    the heart."
    
    Part of my problem is that for the last almost-10 years, but SO
    has lived a great distance away. Perhaps I just lack imagination,
    but roses always seemed to be the best idea (my XSO always adored
    roses).
    
    "...(but Jerry - where do you find a dozen long-stemmed red roses
    for $10 nowadays?)...
    
    Well, I can't mention any specific places, but it seems to me that
    at any other time of the year, I can find them for circa that price.
    
    re:.31
    
    "Valentine's Day isn't just for 'romantic' relationships but for
    any relationship which affects our lives."
    
    The woman who was my XSO was, before we got together, in the
    detritus of a really bad relationship, and I was trying to give
    me some moral support. That Valentine's Day, I had a dozen roses
    sent to her to help cheer her up and make her feel loved. I think
    they meant more to her that year than they ever did when we were
    an "item".
    
    --- jerry

    RE: .14
    My grandmother was born on Valentine's day and every year one of
    my uncle's always gave her roses.  She died many years ago and he
    still places roses on her grave every year.  

    Valentine's Day is what you make it.  Sure I'd love to spend a 
    whole bunch of bucko's on my SO, but I've never been able to 
    do that.  So one Valentine's Day, I packed up a picnic basket
    with cheeses and crackers, a bud vase with one red rose, two 
    candles, two wine glasses along with my SO's favorite wine, 
    and set it up in his living room before he came home.  I put 
    on some easy listening music and lit the candles just as he came
    in the door (carrying a beautiful bouquet for me!!)  
    
    He loved everything and it was the most romantic Valentine's Day 
    we've ever had!!  Creating a wonderful memory doesn't have to be 
    expensive!
    
       			denise