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Conference quark::human_relations-v1

Title:What's all this fuss about 'sax and violins'?
Notice:Archived V1 - Current conference is QUARK::HUMAN_RELATIONS
Moderator:ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI
Created:Fri May 09 1986
Last Modified:Wed Jun 26 1996
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1327
Total number of notes:28298

402.0. "confused and frustrated" by STAR::OPERATOR () Wed Sep 23 1987 09:26

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402.2Please let your family knowMEMV03::BULLOCKFlamenco--NOT flamingo!!Wed Sep 23 1987 12:3230
    Hi and welcome.  First of all, thanks for sharing with us in this
    forum.  I know this must be very hard for you.
    
    In my family, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, and had several
    operations.  Because it is hereditary, I need tests every year myself.
    My mom has them about 4 times a year.  There is a definite state
    of mind that you get into about things like this.  I can't stress
    it enough--YOU NEED YOUR FAMILY'S SUPPORT AND LOVE!  You say that
    your family has "enough" to worry about without your problems--that's
    only your perception.  You are part of the family, and they need
    you to share with them as much as you need their support.  Yes,
    the problem will still be yours, but you will be amazed at how much
    that love can help you.  
    
    Please let your family and friends know.  They care about you, and
    I'm sure would want to help in any way they can.  Even just having
    someone close to you listen to you helps--it's ok to let them know
    you are depressed or scared or whatever.  
    
    I've done it both ways--I did the "strong, silent" routine (and
    fell apart a year later);  and I let it all hang out with my family.
    Believe me, the last way is the better way---for me, anyway.  You
    get the feelings out quicker, and can LOOK at them;  this makes
    it much easier to come to terms with them.  Just knowing that your
    family knows will be a great source of strength for you.
    
    Please keep in touch.  You are in my prayers.
    
    Jane
    
402.3Please tell your family...BUSY::KLEINBERGERMAXCIMize your effortsWed Sep 23 1987 13:0918
    I too want to echo that you need to let you family know!  My mom
    was just diagnosed as having cancer of the uterus. She had to go
    in for a complete hysterectomy, and thank God, everything was caught,
    however... she had decided on her own, without consulting me, that I
    had enough to worry about in my life right now, that I didn't need
    the extra worries about what the doctor had diagnosed, and the upcoming
    surgery he had planned.  I WAS LIVID when I found out.  I thank
    my sister for having enough sense to tell me.  My phone bill last
    month was close to $200.00 with just calling her {many times} daily to
    see how she was doing, how things were progressing, how she was
    doing emotionally, how my dad was holding up, etc...  You do need
    to let your fammily know... they love you, and they need you, just
    as you need them right now..

    
    Just my 3 cents worth...
    
    GLK
402.4Note SET NOWRITE until .0 author contacts a moderatorVAXRT::CANNOYThe seasons change and so do I.Wed Sep 23 1987 13:1613
    This note is set hidden and write locked until the author of the base
    note identifies her/him self to one of the moderators. There is a
    mechanism for submitting anonymous notes in 1.* (I'm not sure off the
    top of my head which reply it is). The policy of this conference is
    that notes from generic accounts (SYSTEM, OPERATOR, TEMP, etc.) are not
    allowed unless the person identifies themself by signing their name.
    
    I will not return the note to a generic account, since I don't know
    how many people have access to the account. Will the author of .0
    please get in touch with one of the moderators?
    
    Tamzen, co-moderator