Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    
    While I'm at it, if this helps...
    
    We're getting married in a hotel.  We're having the ceremony
    in front of 100-125 of our friends/family in one room, then
    moving to a banquet room for a semi-traditional reception
    (SEMI-traditional in that there won't be any bouquet-throwing,
    garter-removing stuff...)
    
    I thought this might make a difference.  We're not just going
    in front of a judge with 2 witnesses...

    Donna
        

    Donna,
    
    Read 353.0 and see if there's anything there you might want to add.
    
    Scott
    

    you might want to check out the poems note in the friends conference
    too,i also seem to recall there was a poetry conference somewhere.
    				kelly

    Try reading Gahil Gibran (sp?) THE PROPHET, and GARDEN OF THE PROPHET.
    He has some beautiful writings on love and marriage.
    
    Debra
    

    Hi, Donna...Best Wishes to you!
    
    I was recently married myself.  Believe me, a 9 
    minute 'traditional' (ie standard) ceremony feels
    like 9 hours!!  
    
    Be sure you read the actual vows-they differ some-
    what from church to church, official to official,
    etc, and there may be passages that you object to,
    or don't feel comfortable with...
    
    I agree-The Prophet has some lovely verses-in fact,
    I framed the one on marriage and gave it to my 
    (first) husband on our first wedding anniversary.
    
    However, I feel obliged to warn you (you did say this
    is your first, didn't you?)...standing up and making
    such a serious commitment can be very stressful and
    nervewracking....our ceremony was soooo small-just
    the minister and the two of us, and I still barely
    made it thru the vows!  (STUFF A HANKY IN YOUR POCKET,
    if you don't need it, the groom might!!)
    
    Good Luck!
    
    (p.s. Don't feel 'shy' about 'stealing' appropriate
          verses or saying from greeting cards, or even
          from wedding albums-they often have nice sayings
          on some of the pages...Susan Schutz, Blue Mountain
          Press, has some very nice poems...)
    
    

    
    
    	Check out "Das Energy" (?), a small paperback...

    I did this about ten years ago, but the advice is still good.
    I looked at a lot of the books available, including the ever-popular
    Kalil Ghibran (sp?), but I got my best ideas from a paperback book
    called "The New Wedding". I've seen it recently in bookstores -
    it has a orange-ish cover.  I next went to the library and pulled
    out poetry collections - not of individual authors, but several
    that seemed to have love as a theme.  I found a good poem - I'm
    sorry I don't remember it now - that talked about being lovers and
    friends.
    
    It all worked out very nicely.  The marriage may be gone, but I
    still remember the wedding fondly.
    
    					Steve

	How 'bout:

		On this day I marry my friend,
		  The one I live for, laugh with
			dream about
			    and love.
	
		

    
    	Try the book of Ruth in the old testamant.  Although the following
    	quote was not in the context of a wedding, it is very appropriate.
    	We used the following in our own wedding vows:
    
    	"Wherever you go, I shall go.
    	 Wherever you live, so shall I live.
    	 Your people will be my people,
    	 And your God shall be my God, too.
    
    	 Wherever you die, I shall die,
    	 And there shall I be buried beside you.
    	 We will be together forever,
    	 And our love will be the gift of our lives."
    
    					Ruth
    
    
    	Joe Oppelt

    re: .9
    
    Someone had a folk song out, based on this.
    
    I haven't read the OT lately, but I was under teh impression
    that it was used in a Wedding Ceremony. (Ruths .. why else would
    she go with the person ?).
    
    .bob.

    re .10
    Bob, Ruth said those words to her mother-in-law after the death
    of her husband, her husband's brother and her father-in-law.
    Ruth was not an Isrealite by birth but chose to go with her mother-
    in-law when she returned to her people. She later married Boaz 
    and became an ancestress of King David.
    Bonnie

    re .10
    
    The song you are referring to is "The Wedding Song" written by
    either Peter or Paul of Peter, Paul & Mary.  It's a lovely song;
    we used it at our wedding when we entered the church.
    
    Gloria

    "The Wedding Song" was written by Paul Stookey.  It's nice, but
    I think it's been SO overused, that it would not really qualify
    as "customizing".  I prefer to look for less familiar but
    just as beautiful songs.  One of my current favorites, (which I may
    consider using in my wedding, if and when), is "Evergreen", the
    love theme from "A Star is Born", especially as sung by Barbra
    Streisand.  The words go something like this:
    
    	Love, soft as an easy chair
    	Love, fresh as the morning air
    	One love that is shared by two
    	I have found in you...
    
    Have fun!
    					Steve

	Another suggestion, if you're planning to use a poem or even your own
	words:  write it out and READ it to one another.  Yes, it's certainly
	possible to memorize a few lines - especially if they echo your own
	feelings - but the written copy provides a backup just in case you
	flub your lines (just what you DON'T want at your wedding, right?! :-)

	I did this once upon a time for my own wedding, copying out the poem 
	and dividing the lines so that it would be easier to find myself if I 
	forgot.  I even made a cover for it (all one page!) so it looked more 
	like a book or hymnal and less like a "script".  It made one less 
	thing to worry about amid all the last minute confusion!

		-hh

    Neil wrote out our whole ceremony on nice paper and put it in a
    pretty ring binder (the kind with the plastic page covers) so we
    could refer to it during the ceremony in case of emergency.  It
    was placed inconspicuously on the table that my church used as an
    altar, between the Bible and the napkin and glass for the
    glass-breaking ceremony.  
    
    Later, we added other wedding mementos, such as a copy of the
    invitations and some photographs, to the binder, giving us a unique and
    cherished wedding souvenir.
    
    --bonnie 

    My sister has been bridesmaid at many several weddings these past
    few years.  For some of them, she and a few of her more musically
    talented friends wrote a song, either changing the words of a popular
    one or writing a whole new one, which described how the couple met,
    how they got together, some of their finer attributes, and how the
    guests at the wedding wished them well always.  VERY moving.  Also,
    at one point, two friends from college got married (I felt so good - I 
    introduced them, after all) and not only did they write their own
    vows, but I made a gift to them of a poem I wrote about the two
    of them, and what I felt their marriage would mean to them (many
    warm fuzzy thoughts).  I calligraphed it and framed it.  What with
    so many clocks and socks and toasters and coasters and dishes and
    all, it was a welcome and different addition to their *new* home.
    
    -Jody