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Conference quark::human_relations-v1

Title:What's all this fuss about 'sax and violins'?
Notice:Archived V1 - Current conference is QUARK::HUMAN_RELATIONS
Moderator:ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI
Created:Fri May 09 1986
Last Modified:Wed Jun 26 1996
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1327
Total number of notes:28298

310.0. "Sex Addiction -- from AP News Wire" by GOJIRA::PHILPOTT (Ian F. ('The Colonel') Philpott) Mon May 18 1987 21:58

Associated Press Mon 18-MAY-1987 17:27                       Sexual Addiction

                   Conference Studies People Addicted To Sex
                               By SUZANNE MALICH
                            Associated Press Writer

   MINNEAPOLIS  (AP)  - People who crave sex so strongly that they jeopardize 
   their families and  careers  to  satisfy  their  urges  can  benefit  from 
   treatment similar to that given alcoholics, researchers say.

   "People  will  go to great lengths, and will risk things of great value to 
   them," said Eli Coleman,  associate  director  of  the  Program  in  Human 
   Sexuality  at  the  University of Minnesota Medical School and chairman of 
   the nation's first conference on sex addiction.

   "They'll risk their own lives, their jobs, their families," he said.

   More than 250  professionals,  including  sexologists  and  mental  health 
   experts, are attending the conference Monday and Tuesday, Coleman said.

   No  one is certain of the causes of sex addiction.  People addicted to sex 
   say their craving is similar to an alcoholic wanting a  drink  or  a  drug 
   addict wanting a fix, Coleman said.

   "One  example  is that they can't carry on an ordinary conversation with a 
   friend without those  thoughts,"  Coleman  said.    "It  starts  to become 
   pervasive with them."

   Researchers  are  not  sure  how many Americans suffer from sex addiction, 
   largely because the study of sexual compulsivity is  fairly  new,  Coleman 
   said.    But another researcher, author Patrick Carnes, has estimated that 
   one of 12 Americans is sexually addicted, Coleman said.

   "I think it's similar to alcoholics in that it's very difficult for us  to 
   draw  a  clear  line  between  healthy  use  and an abusive, addictive and 
   compulsive pattern," Coleman said.

   Sex addicts reflect a cross section  of  the  population,  according  to a 
   study  of  people  attending  meetings  of  a  group called Sexual Addicts 
   Anonymous, Coleman said.

   "They were found to be more highly educated and  a  little  more  affluent 
   than  the  average population," Coleman said.  Studies have not determined 
   whether men or women are more inclined toward sex addiction.

   Treatment is often similar to the 12 steps used by  Alcoholics  Anonymous, 
   except  sex  is  not  necessarily  eliminated,  he said.  Steps leading to 
   recovery include  awareness,  discovery  and  victory  over  the  negative 
   aspects of lust, and sexual sobriety.

   "There is obviously a physical pleasure, but for many of them when they're 
   involved  in  their  act,  it's  a  release  of  feelings  of  depression, 
   aloneness.    In many ways they describe it as a fix to some very negative 
   feelings," he said.
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310.1Referance for topicFLOWER::JASNIEWSKIWed May 20 1987 12:035
    
    	For those interested in the another addictive behavior, read
    "Love and Addiction" by Stanton Peele. Sex isnt the only thing...
    
    	JJJ
310.2AYOV12::ASCOTTAlan Scott, FMIC, Ayr, ScotlandThu May 21 1987 13:5020
    re .0 - don't quite know whether to take this seriously (but willing
    to be open-minded if anyone's got further evidence on the "addiction"
    evidence).
    
    One irreverent thought - the meetings of SAA must be considerably
    more emotionally explosive than AA (with all those repressed addicts
    in the same room).   AA at least don't meet in bars...
    
    More generally, I'd have thought addiction implied physical dependence
    on some physical substance (alcohol, tobacco, heroin, etc).   While
    there are bio-chemical agents at work during sexual arousal, surely
    there are so many that it's hard to define a physical dependency.
    
    What there may be, is obsessive behaviour (similar to obsessive
    playing of golf, shop-lifting, car-stealing etc).   "Addiction"
    might be a short-hand term for this kind of dependency, but it's
    a bit different from physical dependency on something which may
    in itself be hazardous to physical health.
    
    Any addicts or obsessives care to comment?
310.3Sex Appeal! Give generouslyNACHO::CONLIFFEBetter living through softwareThu May 21 1987 13:5716
I'm reminded of the scene in the Woody Allen movie "Annie Hall" where
Woody and Diane Keaton are both visiting their counsellors/psychiatrists.

The screen is split (one side in each psychiatrist's office), with the dialogue
from the two sessions intermingled. The humor comes from the fact that the two
separate counsellors are asking the same questions independently to the two 
principals.

		Question
		"how often do the two of you have sex?"

Woody (in office #1)		  |	Diane (in office #2)
"Hardly ever... 3 times a week"	  |	"all the time. 3 times a week"



310.5yeah, you can be addicted to anythingCREDIT::RANDALLBonnie Randall SchutzmanThu May 21 1987 19:0415
    From what I've read in relatively reliable journals (can you believe
    anything you read these days?), I believe running, bodybuilding, and
    other athletic activities are also often pursued in an addictive
    manner. 
    
    The common characteristics of the addictive behavior are that the
    person who's doing it can't function when deprived of the behavior and
    derives very little pleasure from the behavior.  For instance, running
    addicts don't just get cross when they don't get their daily run, they
    lose their concentration and can't do their job.  Rather than feeling
    good after a workout, they tend to feel like they should have run
    faster or harder, or that they aren't making adequate progress toward
    setting a personal record in the 10K. 
    
    --bonnie
310.6addictions are epidemic!YODA::BARANSKI1's & 0's, what could be simpler?!Thu May 21 1987 20:1915
According to an article I saw recently in ?Psychology Today?, 90% of people
are "addicted" to one or more things in their life: sex, drugs, money, control,
certain people, etc...

"How to be happy in spite of it all" defines addictions as small things that you
may feel dozens of times each day, when you are "addicted" to certain events
happening, such as your wife arriving to pick you up on time, instead of being 5
minutes late.  When such a small details ruins your day, or hour, you're
addicted to it, rather then letting the detail pass as a part of life... The
book lists twelve steps toward conquering your addictions; it's quite usefull. 

I know I have lots of these addictions, but so does everyone... I'm in good
company. :-)

Jim.
310.7Another point of view.XANADU::CAMPBELLDead puppies aren't much fun.Fri May 22 1987 16:3012
    In another way, additions are also used as a way of not having to
    deal with a stressful situation.
    
    Whether it's bad memories from the past, present tensions from
    work and/or relational problems, some people pick up the 'drug'
    instead of facing the problem.  By 'drug' I mean that it could
    be anything (ie. sex, narcotics, alcohol, food).
    
    It's used as a 'coping' method to everyday problems and usual
    falls into the saying, 'If something works, stick with it.'.
    
    Smc
310.8good pointCREDIT::RANDALLBonnie Randall SchutzmanFri May 22 1987 16:3415
    re: .7
    
    I would have to agree that if the addiction isn't interfering with your
    life, and is in fact helping you cope with it, it isn't likely to need
    treatment. 
    
    I think the article cited in the base note was talking about people who
    had reached the point where their addiction no longer helped them
    function in their lives but rather had taken over for its own sake.
    
    Sometimes you can't really deal with a stressful situation. You
    just have to endure it.  
    
    --bonnie
     
310.9Perhaps "Learned Behaviour" is a better term.KAFSV1::D_BIGELOWAmateur Analytical AnalogousFri May 22 1987 18:3836
	I agree that it is possible to become addicted to anything,
and yes, behaviourlal addiction is prevalent in today's society.
However, I feel that as unconsciously suggested in previous notes, behavioual 
addiction is learned.  Learned from the time we were 2 years old from 
our parents.  It is EXTREMELY difficult to change our behavioural
addictions/learned behavioural patterns, because at this stage in life,
we now have a pre-set definition of what is right/wrong, good/bad etc,
as we learned from our parents, who learned from their parents, and so on.
Ironically enough, we as a society can produce generations of monsters
and generations of stable people.  Whether you turn out to be a monster 
or a stable person is usually determined by the behavioural traits you
learned from your parents, like it or not !  The trick is to try to find
out for yourself what kind of a person you are, if you can do that, and
don't like what you are and willing to try to change, then you've made
the first step in changing your behavioural addictions, and ultimately
your personality.  Don't think that you can change overnight though,
you've lived X number of years with a particular set of "behavioural 
addictions", and it will probably take 1/2 of those X years to change 
to the way you wish to be.  That is, if you wish to change at all.

	I know I'm getting a little off track, since the base note only
considers "sexual addiction", but then even this is a learned behaviour.
A previous note hit the spot when they said that "behavioural addictions
are a way of coping with certain situations".

	In response to note .5, sorry Bonnie, I disagree.  Running,
body building and over athletic activities can become addictive because
your BODY produces the drug "morophine" in small doses initially.  If
you continue with stressful physical activity consistently, your body
produces morophine in larger quantities, thus creating the addictive
dependency.

	Just my 2 cents worth !

					- Darrell -
310.10Warning phase ?TSG::BRADYBob Brady, TSG, LMO4-1/K4, 296-5396Tue Jun 09 1987 20:0015
	Along the lines of comparison with alcoholism - one always hears that
one of the signs of trouble with alcohol is getting into drinking alone -
wonder if sex addiction goes through a similar phase :-} :-}

	Again Woody Allen (I think it's in Everything You Ever...) with
his analyst:

	Analyst: Describe your best sexual experience.

	Woody: <extensive rapturous monologue here>

	Analyst: Well, how did you partner feel about it ?

	Woody : I don't know, doctor. I was alone at the time.
310.11EXCELL::MAHLERTue Jun 09 1987 23:185

    At least I buy myself flowers and a nice dinner.


310.12continued on the next rockCGHUB::CONNELLYEye Dr3 - Regnad KcinWed Jun 10 1987 04:306
re: .10
That sounds reminiscent of a Tom Waits song.

Also, another Woody movie (maybe "Love and Death"?):
	WOMAN: [Woody_character_name], you're so good (sigh)!
	WOODY: I practice at home a lot.
310.13More from Doctor WoodyJETSAM::HANAUERMike... Bicycle~to~Ice~CreamWed Jun 10 1987 15:5013
Still more from Woody Allen (my hero):



	"Sex is the most fun anyone can have without laughing."


	"Sex between two people is a beautiful thing, ...
		between six it's fantastic."



~Mike
310.14Even with twoREGENT::BROOMHEADDon't panic -- yet.Wed Jun 10 1987 16:531
    Who says you don't laugh?
310.15ERIS::CALLASI have nothing to say, but it's okayWed Jun 10 1987 20:023
    Even with two? How 'bout *especially* with two?
    
    	Jon
310.16ah yes, masturbationVIDEO::OSMANtype video::user$7:[osman]eric.sixWed Jun 10 1987 20:595
More Woody Allen.  Didn't he say:

	Masturbation -- it's sex with the person I love best

/Eric
310.17Allen -- sexual guru for our timesTSG::KELLEHERHail Muse, et cetera!Tue Jun 16 1987 13:445
    And Woody Allen once again:
    
    	INTERVIEWER:  ...and do you consider sex to be dirty?
    
    	ALLEN:        Yes.  If you do it right.
310.18What could be better?CASPRO::SALOISReal MEN don't have floppy disks!!Thu Jun 18 1987 14:045
    
    I really can't think of anything I'd rather be addicted to!!
    
    At least it doesn't cause cancer!
    
310.19re .18 well, actually...AMULET::FARRINGTONstatistically anomalousThu Jun 18 1987 15:2512
    re .18 "At least it doesn't cause cancer !"
    
    	Well, a number of years ago, there was this brief report out
    	of some medical research lab; seems they were able to show
    	about a 3% increase in the risk of contracting cervical cancer
    	as a direct result of semin...
    
    Don't remember _any_ other details, or when.  Was before my heyday
    in the male/female arena; I just remember thinking that was a real
    kick in the goodies to anyone concerned with statistics...
    
    Dwight
310.21scientism vs. scienceCGHUB::CONNELLYEye Dr3 - Regnad KcinSat Jun 20 1987 01:578
re: .20

Plus, Bob, it's always tough figuring out when the scientists are
faking statistics to support whatever political hobbyhorse they
happen to be riding on.  Usually this will get shown up for the
travesty that it is by independent research efforts, given time,
but it's surprising how long some "cooked" data will remain quotable
in the scientific literature, for whatever reason.
310.22like pinochio's nose it growsDELNI::BADOWSKIsasquatchTue Apr 18 1989 17:472
    Ah if the male organ would only function as pinochio's nose. It
    would make lie detecters obsolete.
310.23It'd be hell for lovemaking, though...YODA::BARANSKIIncorrugatible!Tue Apr 18 1989 19:390
310.24MCIS2::AKINSA Rebel without a cause....Wed Apr 19 1989 00:526
    I could just imagine it...
    
    next time she was in the mood, she says...."Lie to me baby....."
    
    The Rebel...
    
310.25Of course, I would never think of buying those...WMOIS::E_FINKELSENI'm a closet exhibitionistWed Apr 19 1989 13:128
Undercover Wear (lingerie company) has a pair of "Pinochio" underwear for men.
Need I say more?  (they even have eyes...)

>    next time she was in the mood, she says...."Lie to me baby....."
    
That is part of their sales pitch.    


310.27But it will cost ya!WMOIS::E_FINKELSENI'm a closet exhibitionistFri Apr 21 1989 13:2711
-->< Note 310.26 by ANT::ZARLENGA "Wednesday is anything can happen day" >
| >                                    -< :^) >-
| >
| >
| >.25>  WMOIS::E_FINKELSEN "I'm a closet exhibitionist" >
| >
| >    	Ok, so let's see your closet!
| >    
| >    -mike z
|
Maybe on Wednesday! : )
310.28wednesdays childWMOIS::RICCITue Apr 25 1989 11:4817
    
| >.25>  WMOIS::E_FINKELSEN "I'm a closet exhibitionist" >
| >
| >    	Ok, so let's see your closet!
| >    
| >    -mike z
|
>>Maybe on Wednesday! : )

    
    Ellen, We have a staff meeting on wednesday....should be interesting.
    
    
    Bob