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I'm sorta/kinda happy with my job because I felp people who
really appreciate my help! i like that!
I'm very happy with my S.O. cuz I love her and she loves me
and we LOVE TO DO ALMOST EVERYTHING together....
Every saturday we do something and go womewhere!
p-town
newport
portland
rockport
kennebunkport
all of boston
we like the same kinds of shops/shopping and eating establish-
ments.
movies...we analyze and critisize..
thoughts on life/living/social/political/religious....
we have so much in common it's almost......psychic!
i'm mostly happy with my kids cuz i love them and they love
me and we TALK about things and I know them better than my parents
ever knew me....of course...there are times when.......they upset
me....
and I'm a very fine musician/composer!
I write/record/play 2-3 days a week...the times that i'm not
with my kids or my s.o.....
and being able to play/write/record in a manner that OTHERS
find pleasing is rewarding in itself!
and I write non-musical things....that i may try to sell someday
but for now i'm just happy accumulating these things....
maybe, someday, a book!
self esteem?
self worth?
and i grow....and learn...and change and develop...
i gather information and add it to my data base and i ask
questions and i GROW....!
couple this with the stagnation of most of the rest of the
planet and it equals LARGE SELF ESTEEM.....which some
people call....vanity? conceit?
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| re: .3 Can you translate that into 'real' American (english) ? :^)
Now, and '.. away we go ..' (with the topic)
> How many of you consider yourselves 'really happy'?
Really happy ? On the average, happy enough to drive my enemies
berserk, please my friends, and encourage those who are less so of
either.
> How many of you truly 'like yourselves'?
Theeres a 'Biblical' phrase that goes like this (more/less):
"Love thy neighbor as thyself". Sort of implies to love ourselves
first, and perhaps more. If we love ourselves, then surely we must
like ourselves, hey ? Since I've been more than happy to love a
neighbor or two, I guess I like myself pretty well !
> Have any of you ever felt totally worthless?
"Totally" ? By what standards ? DOes 'totally' imply 'wishful
suicidal'? Worthless ? To ourselves, or to some one who dumped us?
> What proportion of self worth do you derive from friends loved
ones, etc., work, and 'inner sources' (may or may not include
religion)?
My feeling is that the person is self-actualized, confident, capable,
independent generates their 'own' self worth. "Knowing yourself"
is part of it; being able to "get in touch" with your own inner
core (by whatever methodology - be it meditation, yoga, prayer_beads,
religion, psychological analysis, or simply intuition) - doesn't
"have to" rely on anmother person - but may enjoy the "light of
esteem" from colleagues; the "laud and honor" from friends, and
the "love" from another person (art all levels).
> If so,how long did the feeling last, and how did you resolve it?
When I consider the difference in my parents, I consider one of
the GREATEST things I learned from my mother is: "To change". To
change from "What I was to what I am", and from "what I am to what
I might become".
Over time, and with the help of friends and associates I learned
to "learn"; to consider of all the potential possibilities available
- there is yet ONE more not yet considered. That if we can envision
a thing to be true, it is possiblke it might become true; if we
can admit to the possibility of change; all is not yet lost. And
if we are to try in such a manner that it seems we cannot fail;
we will at least learn <something>; for failure is not the inability
to reach our goal; it is the stopping before we get there.
Well, your question 'triggered' my 'success' formula. I hope there
is something in there you can use; or at least to 'illuminate' part
of your path.
Bob
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| I've recently discovered for myself that what motivates me is the
need for approval from others, and that approval is what gives me
what little self-esteem I may have. Growing up with an alcoholic
father, I never received any signs of 'approval' or encouragement
from my parents.
I quess *my* question is, is this the right way to derive self-esteem?
Ken....
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| Re .6, PLEASE be careful! Others' approval means a lot to me, too,
but as Bob says, if they're not around or whatever, your "approval
source" goes with them. It's obviously much better to be able to
make your own approval; harder to do, however.
Your growing-up experience and mine are not the same; but similar
enough so that I understand how that happens. I'm still fighting
my way out of it! I wish there was a simple answer to this, but
there isn't. Try, as many of us are trying, to look at yourself as the
unique and special person that you are; in learning to appreciate
yourself, others will, too. That way you end up with your own "power
source"; self-generating, sort of.
Good luck,
Jane
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| There was a time when pot ruled my life, to the extent that
I "just couldn't stop". It took away my sense of being in
control of my life, of having free will, responsibility etc.
One night I found myself feeling guilty to a suicidal extent.
That night I made up my mind to quit. I don't look back now.
It cost me a lot of friends, people in some places shun me
(think I'm a narc) but having a clear head is worth it. My
self esteem comes from knowing I can beat the worst problem
I ever faced. I highly recommend "The Psychology of Self-
Esteem" by Nathaniel Branden for anyone wishing to explore
the question further.
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