Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    I've found the WORST place for all-DEC talk is sitting around at
    someone's house or at a bar having drinks and doing nothing except
    conversation.  It seems almost impossible to avoid under those
    circumstances. 
    
    However, I have no trouble avoiding DECtalk when a) one-on-one with
    another DECie instead of in a large group, and b) doing some activity
    such as sailing, etc. instead of just sitting around chewing the
    fat.
    
    As a final thought, I have learned that getting AWAY from DECtalk
    is surprisingly refreshing and relaxing for a while, and I feel
    good after spending several hours with someone talking about non-DEC
    topics.
    
    							Pat

          At  a  previous  company,  I  worked   as   a   project
     manager/engineer  with  one  of  a kind $1m+ custom projects
     with very tight schedules.  Biggest problem was you couldn't
     stop the production lines at General Motors because you were
     late.  After putting in 10 to 12 hours a day, a few of us in
     engineering  would  go  out  to  eat and continue the design
     meetings until midnight and be back at  work  at  7am.   Our
     whole life evolved around this schedule.  I near ended up in
     the hospital with a bad case of ulcers.

          At that time, I decided I  needed  to  change  my  life
     style.   I still worked the 10 to 12 hours but I immediately
     stopped bringing home the office.  In two months, my  ulcers
     cleared up and I was 100% happier.  That was 8 years ago and
     to this day, when we are off work, we are totally off  work.
     Once  in  a  great while, we make an exception but it is not
     the rule.

          At the HR party, I tried very much to  stay  away  from
     DEC.  Once you make a change like this, you get into a habit
     and you find you do not talk so  much  about  work  and  you
     don't bring it home to your family.

          Only problem is, you so divide you work and after  work
     life, when you do have something that has to get done in the
     other life, you tend to forget about it and it  doesn't  get
     done.   Kind  of  to  the  point  of forgetting to cash your
     paycheck (that's work related).  or if you have something at
     home  which you have to bring into work (have gotten to work
     only to turn around and get back home to pick  it  up  (What
     was it I was after?)).

          Getting back to the topic  at  hand  now  you  know  my
     situation,  I don't mind talking about shop, but usually try
     to keep the conversation very short.  I've had  to  moderate
     my self because friends use to carry on and I'ld find myself
     becoming annoyed at them.  Thus we had  to  learn  a  little
     tolerance and figure out how to direct the conversation when
     we feel it is getting out of hand.

     Don't mind talking about the sun,

     Lee

    While I have put considerable energy into seperating work from reality,
    I keep getting clues from futurists that integrating these is what
    I should expect in the future.  They tend to include learning into
    the things we will learn to view as inseparable.  I can see how
    talking to folks about learning/playing/contributing would be different
    that listening to folks either complaining about things they may not
    have tried to understand or attempting to manage my perception of
    their contribution.

    
    Every DECie party, happy hour seems to revolve around work related
    issues.  Alot of the time I don't mind, I gather information that
    makes my job easier.  I like to listen to people with more experience
    in my field.  However there are times when non-work related
    conversation is wonderful.  Can you imagine a cozy evening 
    by the fire, sipping wine, talking about what this or that 
    customer said or did.  Hmmmmm, real romantic.  Especially if 
    the person your with hasn't the foggiest idea what your talking
    about.  
    Recently, my district had their yearly banquet.  I was in charge
    of the entertainment.  I hired a rock band, and an improv comedy
    team.  Well, boy was I surprized when I found alot of people in
    the hallway discussing business instead of enjoying the music
    and comedy ( I did do a poll as to what type of music so it wasn't
    a shock to hear a live rock band).  
    I told people afterwards, that I would keep trying to
    integrate non-dec items into any function I was involved in.
    Maybe, someday, if we all try hard, we can do other things rather
    than talk shop.
    
    chirp

    I will ask people work related questions that have a positive focus
    if they insist on DECtalk.  Questions like:
    
    	What part of your job is most fun?
    	Who do you really respect in your group, and why?
    	What neat stuff have you learned recently?
    
    This very oftens leads to subjects which really fire the imaginagion of
    the other person, which gives me a chance to learn and also protects
    me from boring negativism.
    

    RE: .8
    
    	Don't laugh, that happens!!
    
    	WorkTalk is something that is a given in/at Netparties. I've
    been part of Netpartying for years now and it's just inevitable
    that WorkTalk comes up. Some of us love what we do for a living
    and like to share our happieness.. Others are very involved in
    things in work (notes for example) and things like that have become
    part of our life. Let's face it, DEC is a major part of our life
    and it stands to fact that we will talk about a major part of our
    life.. (especially with others with the same interests)
    
    	WorkTalk isn't bad but if that's the ONLY thing you can talk
    about then there is a problem.. (alot of Netparties become political
    discussions)
    
    						mike

    Considering some of the notes/conferences available don't you find
    this kind of strange?  Just look at Human_Relations, you have
    everything between discrimination, dating, aids and so on.
    
    I hadn't thought about this too much before, lets hope I don't
    start now!!!!!!!
    
    I enjoy Dec and the outside world as well.  Probably if you really
    listened to people the topics talked about range around a host of
    topics even if you start out with DEC.  One which started the other
    evening with Dec ended up talking about MI5, CIA, FBI, BBC (I know,
    dont't ask, but it was fun).
                           
    JE