Conference quark::human_relations-v1

Not only does laughter diffuse a situation, but it can turn an otherwise
forgettable event into something you cherish and laugh about for years
afterward.

When I was a teen-ager, my younger brother and I shared a room.  Anyway, he
broke something of mine and I was furious because I felt he wasn't sorry
enough.  In a rage I grabbed a magic book off the shelf (my brother was
interested in magic at the time) and shouted, "How would you like it if I
destroyed something of YOURS?!  "Don't do that," he said calmly. "Why shouldn't
I?" I yelled as I ripped the book in half.  "Because," my brother answered,
"that was your book."  Sure enough he was right.  All I could do was sit down
and laugh.  I must have laughed for an hour. 

Another time, before I went off to college, I was in one of my
obsessive/compulsive bitchy moods and spent hours cleaning the family kitchen.
My younger brother came home from acting class and stuck a pizza in the oven.
"Just don't make a mess!" I yelled.  I was finishing the process of shining
the refrigerator till it glowed when my brother came in and took his pizza
out of the oven.  He set it on the counter to cool off.  "I can't believe
you!" I shrieked, "I slave in this kitchen all day and you come home and
don't even have the decency to put a plate under that pizza! You're going
to get crumbs all over the counter!  You're going to drip sauce everywhere!!"

Tired of my little tirade, my brother calmly picked up the pizza and hurled
it against the refrigerator.  It slid down in a long red streak.  After
a few seconds of shocked silence, I laughed so hard I almost busted a gut.


Speaking of food, I remember a time when I was in college and had a very bad
day.  When I got back from class I was seething, so I decided to drown my
sorrows by fixing a gourmet delight. An hour later, I sat down with my
beautifully-arranged plate and started to eat.  Before I had taken a second
bite, my room mate came home from his workout.  Sensing something might be
wrong, he stood next to where I was sitting and asked how my day had gone.
"You are REVOLTING! I snapped, "Here I am trying to eat and you're standing
there sweating like a pig, with some kind of disgusting thing hanging off your
mustache!!" "Sorry," he said, "allow me to remove it."  With that, he flicked
whatever it was right into my precious meal.  At any other time he would
have been wearing that dinner, but I realized how extreme I had been and
ended up laughing my head off.

I think that in many cases, laughter is the first step to self-improvement.
Thanks to episodes like these, I am no where near as fastidious as I once
was, and am far more patient.  Some of life's best lessons involve laughter!

John M.

    
    re .1,   That was great! I've gotta tell ya I laughed reading your
    reply. It struck home.
    
    It reminds me of a situation were my wife and I were not "clicking"
    on this particular day and it seemed everything one of us did got
    the other more PO'd. 
    
    She had just finished folding clothes and stacking them on the bed,
    when I decided to sit on the bed, tipping them onto the floor. She
    blew up. "You don't appreciate the things I do, etc, etc". Being
    in a particularly rotten mood, I said "I'll show you what I think
    of your @#@%#$^%^**#% laundry!!" and went to my dresser, opened
    a drawer, and started throwing my clothes at her (softly, of course!)
    
    " Oh ya?", she says, and started emptying her dresser at me! By
    the time we were finished, both dressers had been emptied, the
    bed stripped, and we just stood there making faces at each other,
    in a pile of clothes upto our knees. We both looked at the pile
    of clothes, then at each other, and burst out laughing.
    
    We hugged each other, and folded the clothes together, and apologized
    to each other.  It's a memory I'll cherish forever.
    
    Ray

    A long time ago, when I was in therapy I was going through some
pretty extreme trials. After it was over, the therapist told me that
what saved me was my sense of humor. Today I know that when I lose
the ability to laugh or see anything funny, I'm in bad shape psycho-
logically. Or to put it another way, quoting one of the AIDS patients
in the made for tv movie "An Early Frost", "Laugh and the world laughs
with you, cry and you bore me to tears". A couple of events come to mind
that were not funny in and of themselves but had me crying laughing


     I was at a rather elaborate cookout at a friend's home and one
of the guests was carrying a large bowl to the table in the yard. It
had recently rained and the grass was still wet. he slipped and fell
against the end of the table, which collapsed, the table full of
goodies sliding down onto him, with a lapfull of potato salad. Well
those of us near enough just broke down laughing, with him in a pile
of food also laughing. The host's dog comes running up, and is piging out
on the spilled food. Everyone was too busy laughing to care that the
meal was mostly ruined. At first the host had a look of rage over the scene,
but broke down laughing and ran into the house to get his camera. The
picture still hangs over his kitchen sink.

    I was driving along 495 on my way to work a few years ago in a heavy
snow/ice storm, moving along at ~25-30mph. Just ahead of me I noticed
cars starting to skid and slam into each other. I let my foot off the gas
and the car starts sliding on the ice. All I could thing was No No No 
asI slammed into one of the cars thathad just hit another car. Then here
come more cars slipping and sliding into me and others. I got out to
exchange registration info with another driver and fell down, he slipped
and fell also. Here are all these people slippig and falling, wondering
who to exchange info with. I heard another guy sitting on the ground just
laughing his ass off, I started, then a couple of others broke down. Even
the accident report was funny, no-one was hurt and most cars were drivable.
    
    Re: .10
    
         Sounds like your wife and you had fights like my ex-wife and
    I had. I was washing dishes, one slipped and broke. She comes running
    in and screams that I've ruined the set and pulls the rest off the
    shelf, which all smash on the floor. I looked a ther and said, "oh
    yeah, well don't forget teh cups and saucers:, and reach in pulling
    them all out smashing ion the floor. Not to be outdone she started
    pulling kitchen drawers out spilling all the silverware and kitchen
    junk on the floor. We both started looking for other things to
    throw/break, when both of us just stood there in the pile of broken
    dishes laughing. We ended up hugging and shopping for new kitchen
    stuff.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Most anything my cats have done give me belly laughs. Like one day
I come home from work to spot my cat hanging half upside down in the 
feicus tree I had just paid $40 for. I wanted to smack him good, but
just seeing him there looking like the kid with his hand in the cookie
jar was too much. cats are truly funny creatures that evoke laughter.

    Bottom line is it's good medicine, something I don't get enough of,
especially lately

Ray

    I really believe that humor and laughter aids all processes. It
    is probably no coincidence that a root of "enlightenment" is "lighten"
    as in "lighten up". Humor seems to aid the health and healing process
    (as in Norman Cousin's book "Anatomy of an Illness"). Humor also
    seems to aid the creative process. There are a couple of fun books
    to read on that subject by Phil Oech called "A Whack on the Side
    of the Head" and a "Kick in the Seat of the Pants". He's a creativity
    consultant for silicon valley and has good stuff to say in the midst
    of much humor. I have the books if anybody's interested in borrowing
    them.

    re .2 - That one must've been a real scene.  I don't think Jim would 
    ever start a clothes-throwing match like that with me.  With my love
    of shopping and clothes, and his distain for it, I'd be throwing
    clothes long after he ran out of ammunition!
    
    It reminded me of the time that I got PO'd while I was washing dishes.
    I grabbed the sprayer and let loose, straight across the kitchen.
    Jim grabbed the Cat Adjustment Tool and sprayed me right back. 
    That's when I learned that mobility has its advantages - the sprayer
    hose is only about 4 feet long.  Even though I had an endless water
    supply, I was a sitting (and very wet) duck.  The cats just sat
    in the living room with their eyes like SAUCERS.  By the time we were
    done, the kitchen was swampy, and we were both soaked and hilarious.
    Well, the floor had needed washing anyhow....

    --Louise

    
    re.5 - cat adjustment tool, I love it!! Is that what I would usually
    call a plant sprayer? 
    
    Ray

    You got it.  The cats need a lot of "adjustment" - they've been
    readjusting the covering on our wing-chair lately....
    
    --Louise

All this discussion about laughter and cats reminds me of another situation.

Some friends of mine in California have an enormous room with a wide-screen
TV.  There is a very large, U-shaped couch in front of this TV; just made
for vegging out.  

About 10 of us were sitting there watching a videotaped movie when my friend's
cat (aptly named "Bad News") decided he wanted to be petted by one and all. He
started by jumping on the lap of the person at the far end of the couch.  When
he tired of that person, he moved to the next lap, then on to the next, etc. I
was sitting at the other end of the couch and he was slowly working his way
down toward me. 

Now everybody there knew I hate cats (or *claim* to), so they were all
interested in what would happen when he got to my lap.  All eyes were trained
on me when he finally did.  There was NO WAY I was going to play his stupid
cat game, so I simply told him "Get lost, Bad News.  I am NOT going to pet
you."  At that, he turned around, lifted his tail, farted in my face and
haughtily stepped off my lap.  This little act of defiance brought the whole
house down...including me!

I hate cats.

John M.

    And one should note what the acronym for "cat adjustment tool" is.
    
    --- jerry

    
       I am not one to laugh when mad but I have had some funny experiences
    with my little terror (cat).
    
       Although he has given me scratches up to 6 inches long I think
    I have laughed every time he does it. He seems to scare very easily...
    there is nothing funnier than seeing a cat jump two or three feet
    off the ground, onto you, and scratching the living daylights out
    of you.
    
                     Pierre

    RE: .12
    
    	To each his own........
    
    RE: C.A.T.
    
    	I'm getting one of those water Uzi's for my roommates cat..
    The animal is a pain in the arse.
    
    							mike

    re .something - AHA!  someone noticed!

    I used to have a cat named Sabastion T. Cat.  He weighed in at
    a hefty 18 pounds.  He was so sweet my mom called him sirbastard.
    Anyway, my brother loved that cat.  When Joe would come over to
    my house to visit, he'd sit on the couch and say "heel, cat"
    The first time he did this, I of course stated that Sabastion
    was a cat, not a dog, cats don't heel.  Very pompous indeed.
    Well of course Sabastion heard me and decided to heel.  From
    that day on all it took was for Joe to yell or say heel,cat
    and the damn cat would come running from whereever he was.

    RE: .14
    
    	I've known about C.A.T. for a LONG time.. Ever since it's
    	inventor, Roger Goun, explained it to me a few years ago..
    
    							mike

    A household I used to live with had two C.A.T.s --- labeled
    "Death From Above" and "Wunderland Treatymaker" (this second
    --- a reference from Larry Niven stories --- because they were
    mostly used to break up fights between the cats). My present
    household still has the Wunderland Treatymaker.
    
    Now, tell me this: what has all this got to do with the topic?
    
    --- jerry

    HELP???????????????????????????
    
    
    WHAT IS A CAT ADJUSTMENT TOOL?
    
    
    
    FROM ONE WHO WANTS TO KNOW?????????
    
    
    
    UK
    
    
    

    re: .17
    
    Well, Roger Goun is calling himself the Wunderland Treatymaker over
    in DIPLOMACY_NG8.  And if he invented the Cat Adjustment Tool....
    
    Conspiracy theory
    DFW

    A C.A.T. is anything that will stop a couple of 12 pound monsters
    from tearing each other up on top of and through your wing-chair
    ("oops, mum, didn't mean to open up the chair covering like that,
    but what's this neat hairy stuff you've been hiding in there?")
    The C.A.T. delivers a stream of water to some portion of the furry
    offender's anatomy.  You can purchase a C.A.T. in the garden
    and house-plant section of a general merchandise store.
    
    What's this discussion got to do with the topic, you ask?  Some
    of it made *me* laugh - and I was wondering where I got the
    name from.

    --L

    re:.19
    
    Roger didn't invent the C.A.T., he only came up with that as a
    name for the implement. I can't be positive, but I think he got
    his "Wunderland Treatymaker" cognomen from me; I seem to recall
    him expressing delight when I mentioned our C.A.T. names in an
    old notesfile somewhere.
    
    --- jerry

    Well, back to the orginal subject...Laughter!
    
    I can think of lots of situations that have been "lighten" by laughter.
    The first one to come to mind happened after my grandmother's funeral.
    There were at least a hundred people at our house afterwards (my
    hotshot grandmother made alot of friends and we have alot of family.)
    And, of course, everyone was rather solemn.  My two best friends,
    who happen to be married to each other, decided this would be a great 
    time to show the videotape of their wedding.  
    
    Well, the video man must have had too many pre-wedding drinks. 
    We saw the groom and then the flowers.  The flowers and then the
    candles.  The candles and then the second bridesmaid standing in
    place.  The floor again then me coming down the isle (by the way,
    there were four bridesmaids).  He did catch me as I was smiling
    from ear to ear.  Then all of a sudden my smile dropped.  I was
    getting ready to fall.  I had stepped down the wrong way and I had
    to straighten up without letting everyone in the audience know
    what was happening.  On my next step I got my balance back and my
    smile again went from ear to ear.  We all died laughing.  Because
    the next shot was of the candles again.  And then the floor...
    Everyone in the house watched that tape.  We reran it at least six
    times.   Laughter that day really helped.     
    
    Back to cat stories...I've had my share of cats "cuties".  Anyone
    out there want to hear the one about my homosexual male cats?
    
    Karen

    
    re -1:  I'ld love to hear your cat-cuties. I have my share.
           One of the best is whenever someone uses a bathroom in my
           house, the cat will jump up on the sink, rub the faucet
           with his face and lay down. Strange cat.
    
            My cat has brought me out of some killer moods.

     PC

    Re .23:
    
    Let's hear the "cat cuties" in the YOGI::FELINE conference, not
    here.  Yes, my cats often think they're human, and I sometimes
    like to think I'm a cat, but those stories are not appropriate here.
    					Steve

    
    
    re: -1
    
        keeping with the subject:
    
    
             hahahahahaha