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Conference quark::human_relations-v1

Title:What's all this fuss about 'sax and violins'?
Notice:Archived V1 - Current conference is QUARK::HUMAN_RELATIONS
Moderator:ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI
Created:Fri May 09 1986
Last Modified:Wed Jun 26 1996
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1327
Total number of notes:28298

55.0. "Digital *RULES*" by FRSBEE::COHEN (Mark Cohen 223-4040) Tue Sep 02 1986 15:17

I just finished John Irving's book CIDER HOUSE RULES.  Near as I can tell, a 
major theme of the book is that the explicit RULES (or the posted rules) are
never as important as the unstated (or real) RULES.  For example in the U.S. the
national speed limit is 55 MPH, but most drivers understand that the REAL speed 
limit is ~ 65 MPH.  (How many people do you know who've gotten a speeding 
ticket for going 60.)  Further the book implies that you almost always can get
away with breaking the posted rules, but the consequences for breaking the REAL
(unstated) rules can be devastating. 

It occurred to me that this paradox of the stated vs. actual RULES is certainly
true at Digital.  What do you think? 

Mark 
T.RTitleUserPersonal
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55.1Examples?QUARK::LIONELReality is frequently inaccurateThu Sep 04 1986 01:256
    I wonder if this is a topic more for HUMAN::DIGITAL??  Anyway,
    do you have some examples at Digital that support your notion?
    There are really very few "posted" rules here - the ones that
    are important have very serious consequences if broken.
    
    					Steve
55.2MMO01::PNELSONlonging for TopekaThu Sep 04 1986 02:4915
    I believe the posted vs. non-posted rules theory is an integral part of
    the Digital culture.  Someone commented to me in the last day or so
    that success at Digital is based on gaining forgiveness rather than
    asking permission.  You have to know where the line is drawn and not
    cross it, but there are undefined boundaries within which you can break
    the posted rules and sometimes MUST break the posted rules to do
    business.  I have done things countless times, that broke the posted
    rules when it made sense for one of my customers. I have an instinctive
    feeling about just how far I can go, though, a feeling I have acquired
    through "osmosis" during many years at Digital.  The freedom we have to
    "do the right thing" in a given circumstance is probably the single
    most precious thing to me about Digital's culture.  Let's hope it never
    changes! 
    
    							Pat
55.3REGINA::OSMANand silos to fill before I feep, and silos to fill before I feepTue Sep 23 1986 14:5622
    I think this topic is quite appropriate for this conference on
    RELATIONSHIPS.  Perhaps the title (Digital rules) should be different
    though, something like (posted rules vs. understood rules).
    
    For example, consider the "getting to know someone" game.
    Suppose you like someone at work, but don't know them very well
    yet, perhaps just you know each others names.
    
    There's an understood guideline (not really a rule) that it might
    be appropriate at this first level to say "hello" when passing their
    office and they look up.  However, to ask "hi, would you like to
    take a break and go to the cafeteria for coffee" might be
    inappropriate.  Perfectly friendly request, but during the embryonic
    delicate first contacts with someone, even the friendly request
    can be an "unposted nono".
    
    Even earlier in the "relationship" too there can be unposted no-nos.
    Before being introduced to someone, and before having taken the
    time to introduce yourself, if you HAPPEN to know someone's name
    and you pass them in the hall, it might seem odd to say "Hi Sally".
    
    /Eric