Conference bookie::homebrew

1068.0. "In case you missed this...." by DECWET::KOWALSKI (Official Beer Test Dummie) Tue Apr 29 1997 14:54

Subject: 	(A Healthy Balloon)  Brain Farts                                    1

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The following information is brought to you by the "A Healthy Balloon" Program.

According to a study by the Ardvark Medical School of 47,000 male
professionals ages 40 to 75, there is a link between corporate email and 
brain farts.  Over a six year period, researchers found that men who  read
more than 2 corporate emails per day (Healthy Balloons, VP announcements, or
hard Palmers) were  twice as likely to get brain farts as men who read
corporate email once every 4  days or less.  Another interesting
finding - corporate email intake did not  increase the brain fart risk of
readers who took a Dilbert cartoon at least twice  per week.

Journal of the National Brain Fart Institute

Corporate email and engineers
Despite efforts to decrease corporate email use by engineers, it is still very 
prevalent in this age group.  Some statistics:

o First use of corporate email generally begins immediately following 
  corporate assimilation.

o 88% of engineers in the U.S. between the ages of 22 and 55 say 
  corporate email is a critical problem in their cube.

o 78% of older engineers say corporate email is always available at parties.

o As many as two-thirds of terminal stupidities and sensibility assaults are
linked  to corporate email.

o Among young engineers who read email and code, the risk of being involved
  in a system crash is greater at all corporate email concentrations then it 
  is for older engineers who are "on the wagon".

o Corporate email is involved in 44% of career transitions involving 22-30 year 
  olds.

Sources: National Council on Corporate emailism and Computer Dependence, Inc.,
and the Centers for Stupidity Control

Corporate email and injuries

A survey of Los Angeles hospital emergency rooms indicates that  there are
links between corporate email use and violent brain explosions.  Patients who
tested positive for corporate email use:

o 66% of head pounding victims

o 57% of those who had been hit by a CLAR or a CAR

o 52% of those injured by uncontrolled laughter

o 47% of hemorrhoid sufferers

o 37% of those who experienced a serious career limiting move

Source: Journal of the American Medical Association

Help is just a phone call away
Following are some phone numbers for information about self-help, 
group-counseling, or support, referral, and educational materials:

o Corporate email Family Group Headquarters 18005551212

o Corporate email and Brain Fart Helpline 18005551212

o American Council on Brain Explosions  18005551212

o Center for Substantial Email Abuse Prevention 18005551212 

"A Healthy Balloon" and WorkLite Connections have also posted a wide
range of information about corporate email/computer use and abuse on their
Web page.  Don't use it!  We'll send you email instead!

Included is information on the physical effects of corporate email and other 
computer abuse, a twelvequestion self test, an outline of the 
electronically abusive adolescent, a community resource list in addition
to the services provided by DIGITAL through WorkLite Connections
and personal stories from DIGITAL employees.      


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