| British Run Mowers For 12 Long Hours But Cut No Grass
If You Think That's Strange, You Haven't Yet Heard Of Annual Sports Classic
WISBOROUGH GREEN, England - It's a balmy Saturday, the grass needs cutting,
and - like suburbanites everywhere - Dan Steward is having trouble starting his
lawn mower. Again and again, he yanks on the rope. Finally, the riding
machine's engine sputters to life. Mr. Steward leaps aboard, adjusts his crash
helmet, checks his headlights and roars off, waving to the cheering crowd.
Crash helmet? Headlights? Cheering crowd?
Welcome to the annual 12-hour Endurance Classic of the British Lawn Mower Racing
Association.
If hell has a suburb, it looks like this. Thick billows of smoke and dust roll
across a 20-acre pasture as nearly 60 lawn mowers, souped-up and de-mufflered,
scream around at speeds approaching 50 miles an hour. Drivers take corners on
two wheels, sometimes leaving the ground altogether as they bounce over ruts
and potholes.
BLADELESS RUNNERS
The din is brain-rattling, more like chain saws than lawn mowers, with
backfires that sound like cannon. From 9 p.m. Saturday to 9 a.m. Sunday, the
mowers race through gloom and early morning mist, with only brief pit stops for
fuel and repairs. Most diabolical of all, not a blade of grass gets cut: The
mower blades have been removed for safety reasons.
Recognized by Britian's Royal Automobile Club as the governing body for
lawn-mower racing, the BLMRA has been staging such events for some 18 years.
Nearly every summer weekend finds the 200-member group zooming around some
farmer's field in England or Wales. Ordinarily the weekend meets consist of
10-minute speed sprints along a "track" marked with bales of straw. High point
of the season is the grueling 12-hour event, raced relay-style by teams of
three drivers.
This, a BBC commentator observed during the one and only telecast of a race,
"is a classic British sport: played by fanatics, under absurd rules, generally
in the rain."
If not absurd, the rules are certainly elaborate. Three pages of fine-print
dictate everything from the height of front-mounted grass catchers to the shape
of the seat. Most importantly, the mowers must have been manufactured and sold
to mow home lawns ("...not golf courses, public parks or the rolling prairies
of the American Midwest," the regulations caution) and the engines must be
identical to those originally sold with the machine. Among the few
modifications allowed are changes in the driving gears or pulleys to send more
power to the wheels. In addition to wearing crash helmets, contestants must
attach ignition cut-off switches to their bodies so that if they are thrown
off, the mower stops.
Lawn-mower races have the festive air of a country fair. Tents and caravans
line the track, families lounge in beach chairs and tend barbecues while
children and dogs run about. At the 12-hour race, elaborate, flood-lighted pits
line the track, each with stocks of spare parts and even arc-welders for
repairs. That race draws hundreds of paying spectators. The proceeds go to
charity, and commercial sponsorship of individual mowers is prohibited.
Off the track, mower racers are a friendly, easy-going bunch, as befits an
organization that had its start in a West Sussex pub. Jim Gavin, general
secretary of the BLMRA, recalls that over numerous beers in 1972, he and
several other motor-sports fans were trying to come up with something different
to race.
"All we could think of was combine harvesters, but there were only three or
four in the country," says Gavin, 52, a travel consultant. "Then we realized
that, after all, that is England - everybody has a lawn and something to cut it
with." Thus was born "the noble sport," as adherents call it. And it soon
acquired a proper Latin motto: Per Herban ad Astra - "Through the Grass to the
Stars."
The motivation? "It's the cheap man's motor sport, an easy way to get into
something very competitive," says Howard Annett, a 40-year-old engineering-firm
executive, as he tinkers with his Atco mower. "I'd always been interested in
motor racing but never had the money or the courage to do it." Though most of
the racers are male, at least four women drive their own mowers and others take
part in teams.
The lure of the lawn occasionally draws big names, like former Formula One
champion Stirling Moss and Sports-car racer Derek Bell, five-time winner of the
Le Mans 24-hour endurance race.
"It's a great feeling on a fast lawn with the wind at you backs," Mr. Moss
says, fondly recalling his team's first win a few years ago. Mr. Bell has some
painful memories. "Absolute agony is what it is, bouncing around some great
bumpy field in a cloud of dust!" he says. "It's like being beaten about by a
prizefighter for 12 hours."
It is indeed rough going. Many of the racers wear eight-inch-wide
body-builder's belts to keep their innards in place. Minor injuries abound.
This year's 12-hour racers suffered several sprained ankles, a dislocated
shoulder and numerous bruises and burns. Even the scorer, with a laptop
computer, was injured. He had dashed onto the track to pull a driver from under
an overturned mower and had grabbed a hot exhaust pipe. He was rushed to a
hospital with both hands burned.
Mower racing shows signs of spreading to the Continent. Last fall, at the
invitation of the mayor of Limoges, France, 30 BLMRA drivers hauled their
machines across the Channel to race a newly formed group of French mower
enthusiasts. What they encountered was a shock, a classic confrontation of
precise English and free-form French.
Among the machines trotted out by the French: a racer powered by a motorcycle
engine, another invention constructed from parts of a Land Rover, and a "mower"
built from the bodies of two Citroen 2CVs with a grass catcher bolted on the
front. One other French Machine had a beach umbrella welded to the back, along
with a vase filled with flowers.
"Our first reaction was, 'Hold on, chaps, these things aren't built to out
rules and regulations,'" recalls English racer Mr. Annett. More worrisome, the
English thought the monster French machines might topple over on them during
the race. "We were terrified they would flatten us," says the BLMRA's M. Gavin.
Anglo-French diplomacy produces a compromise: The larger French machines would
race separately in a newly created class called "Super Prototypes". The entente
cordial resumed, and a good time was had by all.
"The French are all daft as brushes," says Pete Hammerton, another English
racer. "But they were great to us, and the food was terrific." The second
annual international race is set for Limoges, Sept. 20-30.
In the most recent 12-hour race here, the first-place team racked up 277 miles,
more or less without mishap. The Ant Hill Mob team, headed by Dan Steward, the
racer who had trouble starting his engine, finished fifth in class. At the end,
however, the engine died again - after 213 miles - and the mower had to be
pushed across the line.
The big news for the day was a new world's record set by the Flying Doctors
team of Group 1. This special class, which races only once a year in a track
adjacent to the riding mower's, is for self-propelled "walk-behind" machines,
though "run-behind" would be more apt. A British sports writer described a
Group 1 racer as "a demon nanny being towed by a runaway, supercharged pram.
The 15 members of the Flying Doctors, aged 12 to 45, managed 105.1 miles during
the 12 hours, including pit stops for rewelding the chassis and handlebars.
This supplant's the team's previous record, listed in the Guinness Book of
Records, of 101.1 miles, set in 1984.
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1990 NER WF AWARDS CANDIDATES
O.S. AWARD : Given to the driver that has scared the workers the most during
race times.
1. Unknown Driver: At the Dandelion GP, he was the lead SR driver on the
restart who braked on the downhill then accelerated causing everyone behind
him to get out of line real quick. Eventually causing a 3 hour meeting with
the stewards.
2. Gary DellaRipa: At the Wedding Bell Regional was the ITS driver who came
down the hill behind two slower ITC cars. As soon as they reached the
straight, Gary pulled drivers right to pass them. As he pulled along side
the one in the rear (a black GTI from a neighboring region), that car
decided it was time to pass the one in from of _him_. The GTI squeezed
Gary to the edge of the track where upon he bumped Gary off drivers right.
By this time, they reached Pit In. Both Gary's Mazda RX-7 and the GTI
bounced off the armco at Pit In and continued into the pits moving the
barrier at Tech back about 3 feet!
3. John Reisman: At the W.B. Regional, the driver of car # 39 SSGT who went
OVER the worker's outpost tire wall at Big Bend at high speed.
4. Bruce Kapsten: During a red flag situation at the Wicked Good Drivers School
(WGDS), control informed Pits to bring the three cars left on the straight
-a-way back through Pit Out. So we did. Bruce, being Chief Steward, decides
to visit the scene that caused the red flag in the pace car with Chief
Buzzard - Bob Chausse, while the cars were crossing the pits!!! Bruce
stopped about 20 feet away from the middle car.
5. name: At the WGDS; The driver of car #15 Red ITA went barrel rolling into
(then over) station 3 concrete barrier - with Rob Griffith flagging there,
giving new meaning to the words "hit the dirt". The car went over station 3
and ended up at station 10, with a tire at 11. Apparently the car was
sitting for some years and the substance in the master cylinder didn't
resemble any known brake fluid.
6. Joe Leone: Driver of FV440 #63 at the Pig Roast weekend, came into
Station 11 on 2 wheels and was headed straight for the flaggers.
7. Driver of IMSA car #81; for causing everyone at Emergency Services and
Pit Out to say "Oh S___" as his car slammed broadside into the Pit Out
barrier. Non-NER member.
===>above submitted to pit talk
WORKER N.E.R.D. AWARD : Given to the worker who best exemplifies the statement
"You shouldn't have seen me do it".
1. Cathy Dennome: Had the wrong Mass Pike exit listed for the open house. The
Toll Booth operators had to give directions for the lost folks.
2. Larry Dignan: Had printed up copies of the 1990 worker handout for the open
house. A number of copies were somehow printed wrong and started at page 5.
3. Jerry Stevens: At the NEDIV Roundtable in Corning - was attempting to throw
a bunch of paper streamers backwards over his head at the NNJR table. He
forgot to check to see if anyone was about to walk by -- instead of hitting
the NNJR table, he got the poor waitress (carrying the coffee pot no less)
in the face.
4. Bette French: While preparing for the Dandelion GP May 4th weekend, she
put oil in the safety truck to insure that it would be ready in case it
was needed. Luckily it wasn't needed since she forgot to put the oil
filler cap back on.
5. Laurie Sheppard: While running to an incident during the Dandelion GP,
she slipped on the wet grass and fell at station 12.
6. Jo-Ann Gerde: While at the May NHIS National, realized during the pace lap
that she forgot to turn the timing light on after lunch. She had to
call control to have a station 12 flagger run down and turn on the light
right before the cars came around the corner.
7. Two unidentified crew; At the NHIS Regional May 28th volunteered their
time at Timing and Scoring (thank you, thank you...) and were handed their
cards and watches, then were given instructions. As the race began jumped
on the hood of the Magic Bus to get a better view - totally blocking the
scorers view!! They were informed to never, ever hassle T&S about late
results.
8. Jo-Ann Gerde: For having a crayon mark on the NHIS track as the official
"timing line".
9. Kevin Leach: For using T&S' crayon to mark the official "start/finish"
line at NHIS.
10. Lynne Dignan: 5/28 at NHIS (think third hot race day in a row) Responding
to T&S' plea for refreshments for the 15 kids sitting out in the hot sun
timing the cars, and the 7 adults baking in the Magic Bus oven scoring
the cars, the chief registrar arrived to save the day with 1 qt of juice,
six cups and an armload of soda. She says "I brought some soda but it's
warm. Does anyone have any ice?"
11. Worker Forum: 6/15 after the worker forum meeting, 5 "lemmings" - couldn't
find the restaurant for our "after race" get-together, so we played
"follow the leader" while at "race speed", knowing that the leader had
been there before. We had to turn around in a dirt parking lot which
kicked up a cloud of dust and back track.
12. Anna Hill: Scheduled her wedding the day of the Climb To The Clouds.
13. Barbara and Josh Hill: For making Anna change her wedding date so that
it wasn't the same day as the Climb To The Clouds.
14. Jo-Ann Gerde: While at the Climb to the Clouds weekend tried to bring her
dog Omega across the bridge at the base of the mountain. The bridge was
the type that was made up of open squares exactly the size of Omega's
paws. The look of concentration on the dog's face crossing the bridge
said it all. She made it though.
15. Ray Wenzel: Friday night after the Wedding Bell (WB) Regional qualifying
needed a note saying he wasn't drinking in order to get in the house.
Since it was written by the folks he was with, you couldn't read it
anyways. He said the note worked. She said it did not!
16. Rona Hathaway: At the W.B. Regional, dropped her whistle down her pants
as she attempted to give the grid the "start 'em up" signal.
17. Harold Craig: At the W.B. Regional was seen talking to a woodchuck trying
to convince it to leave the station before cars came around.
18. Phone operator at station 11: At W.B. Regional following race #7: when
asked by control what the track looked like after the oil spills, he
said " it looks black!".
19. Nancy Kapsten: At the Memorial Day event made an announcement over the
PA system "Would the driver of car number..... never mind".
20. Lynn Wiles: At the Double Regional - in his 4th day as a starter, dropped
the checked flag on the wrong car, causing some poor F440 driver to end
his race a lap early.
21. Scott Griffith: At the Double Regional was corner captain at station 3,
called in a FV going straight into a tirewall hard enough to bounce three
feet back as a "gentle impact".
22. Moe, Larry and Don: At the Memorial Day weekend - the three stewards who
stopped the race due to a phantom blown engine. They forgot it was speedy
dry. (Submitted by a steward).
23. Rona Hathaway: At the Double Regional she was assigned to start the
session, and was asked by her chief if she was paying attention to the
radio. Her answer was "yes mam its quiet" - when she finally had to use
the radio she called "Grid to Control" and was laughing so hard that she
forgot what she was supposed to tell them.
24. Jo-Ann Gerde: At the Double Regional; repeatedly made tongue tripping
announcements over the PA..."ATTENTION IN THE PADDOCK! The provisional
group for race grid four is now posted"!
25. Jim Evans: At the 9/6 worker forum meeting began discussing the "Wurd
Nerker" award, instead of the Nerd Worker award.
26. Race Control - Stewards and F&C: During Pig Roast day, Bob Chausse said
(so I'm told) "Here's the procedure for closing up control and I'm going
out to pick up radios", then left in the pickup truck. Control started
to close up shop when Steve McLafferty informed them there were 35 IT
cars still on the grid!!! Bob tell it slightly different. That's why
they are ALL nominated.
27. Laurie Sheppard: During the IMSA weekend was passing out lunches to the
starters by throwing them up to them. She ended up throwing them onto the
top of the van!!!
28. Bob Wanta: Safety Steward for IMSA weekend was wondering why he wasn't
hearing anything on his radio. He had it set for the wrong frequency.
29. Greg Vincent: While recruiting at the NER table at the IMSA weekend,
spilled his soda all over the handouts we were giving out.
30. Charlie Hinchcliffe: At the Runnoffs - slipped and fell into the mud at the
brook -- and when the station applauded he did a butterfly fall into the
mud again. Who was that orange clay man?
===>above submitted to pit talk
31. Dick Patullo: At the Racing Against Leukemia (R.A.L.) weekend "Dumped it
jumping off the wall at outpost at station 3. Got up, bowed to crowd, hurt
pride, face red."
32. L. Dignan: For the R.A.L. weekend - had the wrong telephone number on
both the entry forms AND the NER telephone answering machine.
33. Bill Fralick: At the R.A.L. weekend - called to the Grid to see what
was taking them so long. Grid responded that they are waiting for _him_
to give them the 5 minute warning.
34. Bob Chausse: At the R.A.L. weekend was escorting Howie Wemyss of the
Mt. Washington Auto Road up to Control so that he could get a good view
of the track..... As they got out of the elevator, Bob - without thinking
first-- said to Howie: "you aren't afraid of heights are you?"
DRIVER N.E.R.D. AWARD : Given to the driver who best exemplifies the statement
"You shouldn't have seen me do it".
1. Richard French: Forgot to check the lugnuts on the Vee before going out
at the NHIS practice day. Lost the tire and had to be towed in. This
earned him the distinction of being the first car to be towed in at the
new NHIS during a SCCA sanctioned event.
2. Brad Loman: At NHIS 5/27/90; Driver of the #52 white F440 - locked up his
brakes at turn 3, screeeeeeched into the corner and stopped 18" away from
the tire wall. Looked left at the workers, looked right at the track, put
it in gear, nailed it AND DROVE STRAIGHT INTO THE TIRES!!! This was
submitted and signed by the 3 corner workers.....
3. Anthony Rainone: At NHIS 5/26; Driver of car FC #30 hit the wall on the
1st lap of qualifying at station 10. Anthony's explaination to a steward
was "Well, I was warned about hitting the dirt inside the apex during
practice and I guess I overcompensated".
4. Tom Mason: At NHIS Memorial Day weekend; Driver of the #32 Sports 2000 hit
the pylons at the exit of turn 3 and ended up with 2 pylons in the cockpit.
He proceded to drive up the hill throwing pylons out of the car. He has
now been dubbed "The Conemaster".
5. Dave Burden and Bruno Kreibich: Drove the Mt Washington hillclimb on their
wedding anniversaries - and didn't take their wives.
6. FORD Drivers: For all of those FORD drivers that caused Larry Dignan to
announce over the PA system at the Wedding Bell (WB) Regional "Will the IT
and Showroom Stock drivers please talk to the FORD drivers and let them know
what a yellow flag means!"
7. Bob Roth: At the W.B. Regional's last race of the day, decided the grass
was too high and decided to do something about it. Farmer Bob is looking
into what it takes to work at the track as an apprentice grass cutter. Some
of the more memorable quotes after the race were: "I am looking forward to
a more fulfilling, environmentally aware future in the agricultural
business", and "Well, it was a great race until I got the the first corner,
then I spun. Later, after losing control a second time in the `Esses' and
plowing up a bunch of grass, I realized that my true future is in farming."
8. 10 drivers: At the W.B. Regional approached T&S looking for their logbooks.
T&S' reply was "Sure, I can issue you a logbook. But you'll have to trade
in your fancy helmet and safety harness for a watch and a pencil, and
you'll be tested for your time-card subtraction abilities."
9. Not named: At the W.B. Regional - new driver ... his first race, we think.
Came flying into T&S results ... he was panicked! "There's something wrong
here! The provisional says I was a DNF and I ran the whole race--I passed
a whole bunch of cars and everything! This says I was 39th and didn't
finish and I was out there, really, I was out there!" Marty calmed him
down, gave him a quick training lesson in reading lap charts (the column
on the left is grid position, the column on the right is finishing
position) and he went away smiling (17th in a class of 22 finishers).
10. Bob Roth: At the Wicked Good Drivers School (WGDS) - was seen with a
clipboard for jotting down notes on his "pupils". This time he had it IN
his Spec Racer while on the track!!!
11. Bruce Phalin: At the WGDS ran into his student (#94 Yellow H Prod) while
ON THE TRACK. Bruce told him that he shouldn't be braking at that part
of the track.
12. Dave Patten: At the Mt. Washington hillclimb; finished his second qualifying
run to the half-way point with out any problems. He went to back it up
without looking and managed to modify his car by backing his car into, then
onto a large boulder. The next driver up was able to capture Dave via his
camcorder emerging from his car with his "best side" showing first.
13. John Taylor: At the Double Regional; Driver of the yellow #03 CF was seen
passing under the yellow at station 3 - twice in the same day.
14. Brian Wall: At the Double Regional; was assigned #88 WEEKS before the race
and showed up with #21 causing all kinds of confusion with T&S. He was
called over to T&S to discuss it and they compromised on #81 to make it
easier for HIM. He stayed as #21 for Saturday but had to be #81 Sunday.
The Chief Steward talked to him as well. What number did he show up with
Sunday? You guessed it - #21!!!
15. Dave Patten: At the Double Regional, lost his brake pedal going into
turn 3 at NHIS and clobbered another car. All Dave could say was "I
lost the brake pedal, I lost the brake pedal". Did anyone find it???
16. Ted Balcezak: Driving the #33 ITC during the Pig Roast race, spun on the
pace lap!
17. Rick Pocock: Driving the #42 ITB during the Pig Roast race, spun at turn 3,
then while trying to reenter, ended up with his front end up on the hay
bales with his car bounding up and down.
18. Bruce Myers: Driver of Spec Racer #01 at the Pig Roast weekend, had a rock
fly up from a competitors car, hit him in the helmet, then to add insult
to helmet injury, ricochet DOWN, hitting the KILL SWITCH, disabling his
car. This dropped Bruce from 4th to last. (He eventually finished 5th.)
19. Gary DellaRipa: After Gary's car finally came to rest after crashing in
the Pits, Roger French raced over (wearing Nomex, as usual) to offer
assistance. Gary jumped out of his car and started yelling at the first
driver he saw - Roger - thinking _he_ was the driver of the GTI.
===>above submitted to pit talk
20. Mike Domer: Driver of the #50 ITB at the Racing Against Leukemia weekend
decided he didn't crash properly into station 3 the first time, so he
decided to do "it right" the second time.
Honorable mentions
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The female minister that was bitten in the rear by a dog at Lime Rock. This
was right after Mike Joy reminded folks that dogs are not allowed there.
The driver at the Memorial Day National race who lost a hammer from someplace
in the body work out on the track.
John Wall for the T.U.R.D. award winner FAN CLUB hats in that P*I*N*K color
that grid loves.
Laurie Sheppard imitating a catfish, and then a flounder at the campfire
during the Mt. Washington weekend.
Sports Channel America for their broadcast of "Climb to the Clouds" from
Mt. Washington, VERMONT.
John Ricker: Weather Steward for the Climb to the Clouds weekend. Animals
were gathering two by two Saturday.
Overheard from Joyce Jones - "Lets have the wedding at Lime Rock so all your
bum friends can be there, honey!"
What "Wuss" can't stick his stomach out enough to be a "Green Mountain Boy"?
No name, but he drives a Honda CRX and has been known to forget his gloves.
The new crew name on the Corvette at the WGDS - which refered to the size of
the beers the night before - "Mr. Goodquart".
The tilt bed truck driver at the Double Regional for losing a car TWICE while
flat towing it in.... the second time was in the huge puddle at Pit entrance.
Larry had to tell the truck to back up because they had lost the Vee.
The person at the Pig Roast who sat on the table that the pigs were just
carved up on.
Ken Payson, National Champion - seen on crutches at the Pig Roast weekend.
Explanation -- he fell out of a tree (no doubt while hiding from some
jealous husband).
Willy Zachmann's new name is "Magnet Butt". Willy was doing Pit In when the
cars came crashing into the Pits, and was at Pit Out when the #81 IMSA car
hit broadside into the Pit Out barrier.
Driver of the #81 IMSA car for pulling off his steering wheel while coming
down the straight-a-way.
All the drivers in the Little LeMans start -- for not hitting the timing light!
===>above submitted to pit talk
Race control calling down to the Pits during the Racing Against Leukemia
weekend. "This is the voice from above. Dave Hathaway, what the hell are
you doing"?
John Wall's team: Submitted their OS and NERD ballots for people who were not
even on the list! Something about "Johnny Wall Jr.'s underwear incident",
plus Karen Petersen for the worker nerd.
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