Conference noted::hackers_v1

	I once put a note in the sports note file and the subject was
	softball. Everytime I typed softball it came out software. I
	almost did it twice in writing this.

Ed

I've often misdialed a phone number and look for the "Rubout" key.

Also on the phone, I've often wanted TOPS20's "?" key or VMS's "HELP" command,
to see what the features are.

/Eric

Don't worry, you're not quite off the deep end, though, until you start
replacing natural moans with three-word utterances such as

	"asterisk sigh asterisk".

/Eric

1) (Referring to previous entries) A friend of mine kept her checkbook in
   octal for a whole month.  (That seems to me more disruptive than hex,
   because if you "wake up" after doing hex, you probably have some 
   non-numeric codes laying around.)

2) At a previous employment, where I made lots of withdrawals from the
   credit union by phone, I sometimes ( >1) set out to call the credit
   union (a simple "2225"), and got my wife instead (12 digits and one
   state away).  Sigh.

3) I once was assigned to patch an unfamiliar program on behalf of a
   foreign-born co-worker who had worked all night and left a note of
   the desired patch;  a courier was waiting to whisk away the corrected
   floppy to a GSA demo in Washington.  I quickly entered the patch, and
   the courier took away the disk before I could even load it to see if it
   worked.

   So of course, it failed at GSA.
   Why?  I had misread his European notation for one of the digits.  
   Where?  At this hex address:  BAD

It's rumored that, in some of our products, "PARMENTER" is an
acceptable alternate spelling of "PARAMETER".

Martin.

On a VT52, the gold key would send an <ESC>P, so pressing it twice would
cause the P command to be executed, and P was a symbol to show the date/time.
Many's the time, while driving (or whatever) when I'd reach out and hit
a non-existant gold key twice to see what time it was.

When VT100s came out, <ESC>OP was sent instead, but I was a VT52 hold-out,
and never defined an OP command.  After hitting the non-existant gold key
twice, I'd realize I was using someone else's VT100, poise my hands to
type P <RET>, glance down at the non-existant keyboard, and finally discover
there was no keyboard!

My wife eventually gave me a watch, and made me wear it.

	    [RE .6]:  That's because Tom Parmenter was a writer for the
	RSX group.  I think.  Now he's defected to another company.
	    My group has kidnapped his son, though.
			<_Jym_>

        The story is that Tom Parmenter and an RSX developer (my
        memory says Brian McCarthy, but it's not necessarily
        trustworthy) had a long "discussion" over the correct
        abbreviation for a qualifier.  The developer did it his way,
        but also put in /Parm[enter] for Tom...
        
        That's the story (second or third hand).  The truth may be
        even stranger...
        
        	/dave

re .9

PARM is also the IBM JCL standard abbreviation for Parameter.

Burns

I used to share a house with 2 other computer types, and the favourite phrase
to find out if the one of the other guys were busy was to say:
	"What state are you in?"
Well of course the reply (Handshake :-) would be
	"Well I'm in the null state..."


I also find that I am now much more likely to use the word 'queue' the way
the British do instead of line...

The performance artist Laurie Anderson (not Launi) has done quite a few
pieces using computereze.  A part I always chuckle over goes like this:
	We talked mostly about her boyfriend.  This guy was
	never in a bad mood.  He was in a bad mode.
	Modey kind of guy.
	The romance was apparently kind of rocky and she kept
	saying: "Man oh man you know like it's so digital" She
	just meant the relationship was on again off again.


I too have had program dreams from overwork.  In the dream I am a pointer
and all the links are broken.... 

When I first went to college (at Stevens Institute), two systems programmers
(Bob McQueen (RCM) and Nick Bush) spent a lot of time frantically reworking the
second version of Sitgo, a PDP-10 student Fortran compiler.  It had been
sold to DEC, but it wasn't working as the time to turn it over approached.
They were often heard to exclaim about superfluous code they discovered during
debugging, "That can go away".  RCM was the staff programmer, and my immediate
supervisor.

Once I had a nightmare where RCM pointed at me and said to Nick,
			"That can go away".
				/AHM

         When the computer music studio at Clark University had just
         been completed, we found that the bare walls in the little
         room made the sound too harsh and figured that we needed to
         put some sound absorbing material up to compensate.  After
         spending over 10 hours attaching egg cartons to the walls, we
         listened to some test tones.  I turned to the student acting
         as my lab assistant and unthinkingly said, "OK, let's see
         what it sounds like the other way, again."  He replied, "Joe,
         those are NOT virtual egg cartons."
         
         -joet 

When going to school (at MIT) we used to go downstairs to the pantry after 
studying all night to get "tea and toast".  One night, one of the guys came 
back upstairs and announced that we couldn't have toast. "The toaster is down" 
he said.

Steve

	    Here's a definite example of "been workin' here too long"
	syndrome, from the SQM::ZK conference.  Remarks in {curly
	braces} are added by yours truly.
			<_Jym_>
================================================================================
Note 26.0                        ComputerLees                         No replies
GUIDO::SULLIVAN                  SQM::ZK.NOTE        96 lines  20-DEC-1985 14:14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Introduction
	------------

	Will Lees is back from school and I thought that this
	would be a perfect opportunity to congratulate him
	on a job well done; for Will has composed, single
	handedly, a brand new dialect of speech that I like
	to refer to as 'ComputerLees'.

	The following is a collection of priceless utterances
	collected during the many years that I've know Will.
	By studying these examples, you too will be able to
	carry on an intelligent conversation with Will.


	Will's use of Logical Name Tables
	---------------------------------

	First, let's get some of the basics straight. You see Will
	has his own logical name table. Translating these logical
 	names is the key to 25% of ComputerLees. Here's an example.

		"Let's stop off at PS:".

	In this example, Will has used the logical name "PS" for
	the nearby Purity Supreme Supermarket. Will will actually
	say "Pee Ess Colon" so don't be caught off guard. Will has
	also been known to include people's names. A quick example
	is "JP:" for John Prestidge. Remember, he says "Jay Pee Colon".
	(I kid you not.)

	{PS: is inspired by a logical name used on WPI's DECsystem-20.
	It means "public structure" or some such, and refers to the
	disk where all the students' files reside.  We called it "Pee
	Ess Colon."  Will refers to me as either JYM: (Jym Colon) or
	DYER: (Dyer Colon).}

	Will's use of Control Keys
	--------------------------

	Will has complete mastery of the Control Functions and he 
	expects you to understand them and *react* to them as quickly
	as his keyboard does.

	Just the other day, Will and I were walking along the corridors
	of ZK and he started to fall behind me for some reason. All of
	a sudden I hear "Control S". Now the novice student of ComputerLees
	would more than likely get flustered at this phrase. But to one
	who has mastered the dialect, the request to 'stop walking' would
	be obvious. This "hold screen" or "stop scrolling" concept is
	used quite often by Will. Other instances of its use have occurred
	when his car was skidding on an icy road this winter.

	Will uses other Control Keys too. When the need arises for an
	immediate status report, Will simply says "Control T". When
	Will wants you to stop doing something, he says "Control C".
	Note that he doesn't say "Control Y". The reason for this is
	that the action is not to be continued later on.

	{"Control C" is also better understood by -20 hackers, whom Will
	has had to deal with at WPI.}

	Will's use of Interrupts
	------------------------

	On a related issue, when Will would like to interrupt your
	conversation with someone, but not terminate it, he will politely
	stand outside your office and say "AST". Once again, the novice
	would be at a loss, but a real master of ComputerLees would 
	simply accept the interrupt, walk outside and talk to Will, then
	upon completion, resume the original conversation. I must admit
	that there have been a few instance were I did not acknowledge
	Will's interrupting AST and to my surprise he was able to
	dequeue himself and send a mail message.

	{Will apparently uses a timeout.}

	Will's Words of Wisdom
	----------------------

	 o "The population density of a state can be directly determined
	    by the address space of its license plate"

	 o  "My girlfriend and I are no-longer in Kernel Mode"

	 o  "McDonald's is a lot like a computer. We each get in a queue,
	     waiting to be processed by the hamburger driver. When we
	     are finally ready, the HRP (hamburger request packet) is
	     placed on the counter and filled with the resources we requested.

	     Often there is a dead-lock condition over fries and burgers.
	     An even more frequently occurring condition is the RWAST, or
	     resource wait state, in which some poor soul is shuffled off
	     to the side waiting for a limited supply of Happy Meals.
	     Usually though, these conditions don't occur because of the
	     cache of burgers and fries. When your HRP is filled, you
	     can de-queue and consume the resources on your tray. As every
	     engineer knows, be sure to clean up after yourself too."


	In conclusion I'd just like to say that we all can carry on a
	conversation with Will. It's not that hard.

					 Control Z, - Ed
================================================================================

Have you ever tried to figure out how come the phone number
you just dialed didn't do anything, only to realize that
MA Bell only recognizes sequences entered on keypads
attached to the phones?  (Not VT100's!)

SLH

    Or did you ever try dialing a phone number assuming that the keypad
    on the phone was ordered
    
    	7 8 9
        4 5 6
        1 2 3
        0
    
    ?
    
    Burns
    

No problem, if you're in Denmark where the phone buttons (sometimes)
run that way.

Martin.

    Actually, if you are reasonably careful, and good with a soldering
    iron, and own the phone, you can take apart the standard desk phones,
    move the buttons, swap a couple of wires around, and have a
    'calculator' style keyboard on your phone.  Just beware of the flames
    when someone asks to use the phone.  :+)
    
    Willie
    

    re .0
    
    Hey, you forgot my recollection of expecting my car odometer to
    go from 67777 to 70000 on the way to the Mill one morning.
    
    Twit.
    
    - M

    I thought I was the only one who balanced his check book in octal
    :-) :-) :-).
    
    Mike

How about trying to type control-U to erase a line on a typewriter?

Steve

How about trying to use EDT keypad functions on a DCL command line?
(delete right, cut/paste, undelete...)

    re -.1  Try a hack called augment which provided EDT style
    command line editing back in the vms v3 days, and is still
    superior to the v4 editing functions...
    

	    Not ComputerLees (Reply #15), but along the same lines.
	This is from the Usenet.
			<_Jym_>
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Here are some of the terms I use. If people will send me their own
versions,  I  will summarize and post a jargon file update to the 
net.
 
TRISTATE
  As in:  "Shall we go to the movies, or go out to eat?" "Idunno, 
  you  decide." The second person is tristating,  or in  tristate 
  mode.
 
INTERRUPT
  What you say to change the subject briefly.
 
POPPING THE STACK
  Return  from  interrupt.  "Popping the stack,  you were  saying 
  that..."
 
MULTI-TASKING
  What you're doing when you're talking on the phone while  edit-
  ing a program,  and,  at the same time,  trying to discuss with 
  your wife what you want for dinner.
 
STACK OVERFLOW
  What  happens  when you're multi-tasking and a rug  rat  starts 
  pulling on your pants leg, demanding your attention.
 
DROPPING BITS
  What  causes  you to forget something you ought to be  able  to 
  remember. Analogous to mental bit rot.
 
LDIR
  Load-increment-and-repeat.  Same as BLT, or 'blit'. From Z80, a 
  memory move instruction. 
 
David Drexler
 
struct where {
     UUCP .... .. .. .. ihnp4!occrsh!gorgo!ddrex
     ARPA .... .. .. .. ihnp4!occrsh!gorgo!ddrex@berkeley.arpa
     USnail .. .. .. .. POB 1214  Bethany OK  73008
     FidoNet . .. .. .. Sysop, 147/1  (405) 728-2463 2400/1200/300
  /* The bbs for programmers & collectors of source code */
  /* NOT a UN*X/Fido gateway! */
} David_Drexler;

    You know you have been using too many voice-response dial-in systems
    (like DCU and Investor Services) when you start typing # after a
    domestic phone number!
    
    Burns
    

So I was just taking a break, reading a journal article with
one hand, and scanning a notesfile with the other.

I saw something in the journal that I disagreed with, and started
to type REPLY/NOEXTRACT.

Guess I should get back to work.

Martin.

    Often when I play piano, I lose track of time.  When I come back
    to earth, I often find myself trying to type "SH DA" on the piano
    keyboard...
    
    Roy

After taping music off of the radio for long periods of time, I used
to want to pause the radio by hitting a Stop button.  The same goes
for VCRs and TVs.
				/AHM

	i've tried to end a phone conversation (cordless phone)
	by pressing the off button on the tv remote control...
	
	jack 

    When I was in college I worked for the confusion center (aka computer
    center).  The turkey that designed the offices had put all the staff
    offices on a public hallway.  Since we had confidential stuff in the
    offices (grade reports, etc.), we had to look our offices whenever we
    went anywhere (bathroom, down the hall to get a listing, etc.). Net
    effect was that you got real good at finding your key. 
    
    I didn't realize how ingrained this behaviour had become until one
    morning at about 3am I found myself standing if front of the
    refrigerator with my key out. 

    Or try fast forwarding the commercials on real t.v. with the remote.
    :-)
    
    Jeff
    

    My TPU section file has control-backslash defined to flush all modified
    buffers to their output files (and attach to the parent process).

    Imagine my surprise when, after wiping in the privvy, I turned around
    and didn't even *see* a keyboard!

    I just tried to find "fprintf" in The American Heritage Dictionary.

My wife and I are trying to help our 16 month old daughter to become
bilingual, and so my wife speaks to her exclusively in Spanish, and I 
speak to her exclusively in English (I speak no Spanish at all).  Doing
this involves having both Spanish and English books around the house.

I was reading one of the Spanish books to my daughter the other night,
and my wife (after giggling over the story I was making up) told me that
one of the characters in the book (which I was referring to as a girl)
was actually a little boy.  I asked her how she knew this, and she pointed
out that all Spanish verbs have gender (male/female/neuter).

I responded, "Oh, I see, Spanish is a strongly typed language".

-- Ken Moreau

    I was just cleaning up my directory. Amazing how many iterations
    of "FOOBAR" you can use! I found lots of FOO.* various sources,
    in different languages, DCL procedures, datafiles, even an account
    in SYSUAF! What a useful word!
    
    /pjh

    Had a real problem with my phone ... constant dial tone. When you
    picked up the receiver the dial tone worked great, but didn't go
    away when you started dialing the number. Calls never went through,
    obviously. After several attempts at re-dialing, (during which time
    I find myself hanging up the phone with more and more vigor on each
    try), I decided the phone was OBVIOUSLY defective.
    
    I was about to storm into the next office and report this terrible
    inconvenience to telecom when I realized I had been dialing my
    calculator.
    
    

    re .37:
    
    Dialing your calculator!? That's a good one. I think I am going
    to open another Seagram's Golden Wine Cooler and toast to that!
    
    Mike

    When I was playing a game of Horseshoes a friend of mine asked which
    set of hosreshoes do I have?  I replied that I had the negative
    set of shoes.  I suppose any non-technical person would have repsonded
    that they had the minus set of horseshoes!

    Instead of saying turn off the T.V. set, I say "Please power down
    the T.V. set.  This usually results in dumb stares from untechnical
    persons.

This weekend, I was reading the paper, and saw an ad for a Hot tub Spa.  I 
thought to myself, ah good, VPA and SPM are going to collect data and work 
together!  I just figured the product was going to be called SPA...  Luckily
a few pages later I realized my mistake.

-garth

    Ever reach for the TV remote control and find yourself pressing
    your calculator's keys?
    

    Gee, ever think that something has gone wrong with your car?  You
    know you've been working too hard when you drive along and glance
    down at you odometer, and a look of terror comes across your
    face as you see 177777 turn to 177778 instead of 200000?
    
    How about reading the license plates and reading into them the machine
    code (JSB 501)?

    re [.41]
    
    	You know you've been working here too long when you start
    making up DECxxxx names for things. Here in Australia we have
    a hot room/test chamber called DECsauna.
    
    (Maybe it's a combination DEUNA and DECSA :-) )

    re .-1 
    
    I remember from college that the drinks machine was referred to
    as the "PDP-5P".
    
    [Coffee, tea etc. cost the princely sum of five pence]

I have noticed several replies to notes, in different files, whose title is:

                                   -< ex >-

After doing this myself one day, I realised what it was: 

type in text
^Z
EX

I had been using EDT too long! :-)

= Giles =

Did you ever drive your car after playing Qix for an hour or so?

    "I ""logged"" off the telephone..."

< Note 181.0 by VAXUUM::DYER >
                        -< Been Working Here Too Long >-
... when you start refering to your wife or husband as a 'spousal unit' ...

    
    One day when I just had submitted some command file to the
    batch que, and then reached for the phone and called the local
    speed shop to ask for some parts.
    When the guy asked me to wait a minute in phone,
     one thought struck me: 
    Why am I doing this job interactive???
         
    Goran.

    A field service engineer (who I will not name) was working in a
    DEC Servicenter. A customer arrived to claim his repaired terminal.
    When presented with his bill he demanded to see the bad part.
    
    The engineer's response was "I consumed it". 
    
    With a horrified look on his face the customer screamed "You What!!?"
    
    Jim

    Does trying to get into my car with my card-entry key count??
    
    andy

                     <<< SYS_:[NOTES$LIBRARY]TEX.NOTE;3 >>>
                      -<  TeX - Knuth's Text Processor  >-
================================================================================
Note 96.0                           Overheard                         No replies
SPRITE::MCVAY                                        12 lines  27-MAR-1985 14:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Recent conversation between some LaTeXers who have been working too
long:

"This article is really lousy."

"Oh yeah?  Well, \MATHOFF fellah!"

"Look, you BADNESS(10000), I'll..."

"Okay, you two--knock it off.  There are macros present."

[mumble, mumble...guys got an overfull box on line...]

Just discovered that I can still whistle at a modem and cause it
to go on-line.

Martin.

    Yeah but can you make it type letters on your terminal? :-)

Getting letters is a relative piece of cake, and you'll find that a
    line feed ain't no big deal either, but a CR is a lip buster.
    

    True story:
    
       I came home from work one day and grabbed my wife on the, er,
    derriere.  She turned around and said "Access violation, reason
    mask=0".  When this evoked uncontrollable laughter, she did it again
    in another context (use your imagination).  Her response was 
    "%SYSTEM-F-NOPRIV, No privilege for attempted operation".
    
    						Dave()

Martin.

%SYSTEM-S-NOTALLPRIV, not all requested privileges authorized
    

Martin.

    Or "device is already mounted" or any number of other interesting
    messages.
    
    	Jon 

re.: .57

Are we hearing a Fish story?

(Ha ha, Dave!)

PS: Is the device write-locked...did you missplace your write-ring?

--> Dieter <--
He Who Harrasses

    Yeah, I'd feel better if she said:
    
    "insufficient space for allocation"
    
    but watch out if she ever gets to:
    
    "Input record too large, truncated..."

 CLMX-S-AAAAHHHH, Buffer overflow

      	   Driving on the freeway, I'll find myself getting on the
     exit ramp to our office when my real destination is 20 miles down
     the road.
     
     greg_t

re: .65

Nope, as all PDP-11 hackers know, it's

IE_NFW: Path lost to partner.

    For non PDP-11 hackers: IE.NFW: No_F***ing_Way.

    
    Switch on the South American Phrase button:
    
    IE.NWH : No Way Hosay.

The IE.NFW remark jogged my memory.  How about these (in the same context)?

	IE.ALC		Allocation failure
	IE.DUN		Device nat attachable
	IE.DNA		Device not attached
	IE.DFU 		Device full!
	IE.DAA		Device already attached
	IE.STK		Not enough stack space
	IE.ONP		Hardware option not present??
	IE.OFL		Device off line
	IE.RSU 		Shareable resource in use!
	IE.URJ 		Connection rejected by user
	IE.CNR		Conbnection rejected

    We've digressed from the topic of the note.  Let's get back on track.

    Re: .71, .72:
    Yup... this isn't SEXETERA. Back to hacking...
    	-Rick

re: < Note 181.67 by MAY20::MINOW "Does the software dream it is Turing?" >

If my memory serves me correctly, the numeric value of the RSX error code
IE.NFW (Path lost to partner) is -69 in decimal.

I just heard a colleague from Hudson is out with his wife and new daughter
visiting relatives and "demoing the baby".

---Pete

                My  computer  is   right  near  my  phone  and  I
                frequently  use  my  modem.     Unfortunately,  I
                constantly  call  people  and hit  the  data/talk
                button once they answer . . .
                

    
    Re: .11
    
      My former employer, when he needed to discuss something with me,
    would always ask "Are your interrupts enabled?" before starting
    the conversation.
    
    Frank
    

    ... when you go to a store and buy something, and then give them your
    phone number for when it comes in.  But unfortunately you give them
    your dedicated modem line for your computer/terminal. 

    Re: .-1
    
>   ... dedicated modem line ...
    
    speaking of dedicated phone lines, is it possible at all to
    get DEC to pay for some/all of the charges for basic service?
    It's costing me $20/month (=$240/year) for this line.
    
    		My wallet is just curious

    Depends on the group you work in. Some groups pay some don't.

Check into the Field Exchange (FX) system.

You can dial a local DEC plant and then dial the DTN of your systems modem.

    Re: .-1
    
    I have been doing that.  I'm looking to recover the cost of
    the basic service (+ touch tone).  I only use the line to
    call work.
    
    Re: .-2
    
    Thanks, I will ask my super.
    
    Re: .-1 & .-2
    
    thanks for your responses.

    This weekend we were at the DEC picnic with the kids at a local
    amusement park. You take a train to and from the picnic area.
    Getting off the train, there was only one exit ramp. I found myself
    telling my wife how much faster the exit would be if it wasn't
    single threaded...
    	-Rick

    was telling a story to someone last night about being stared at in
    the local department store.. as the story went, I was dressed kind
    of strange, my companion was making alot of noise, and the girl
    at the CASH TERMINAL kept looking at us...
    
    help me help me....
    rocko

    
    1. Telephone answering machines provide provide endless possiblities
    for these kinds of foibles. Imagine my amusement when I called a
    friend, and his machine said:
    
    	"Hi. This is the virtual Steve Steele speaking. The physical
    Steve is paged out right now, but if you leave your request, when
    the pager swaps me in again, I'll get to it as soon as I can."
    (or something to that effect)
    
    This has now been exported to most of the VMS people I know, so
    we leave very strange messages on phone machines...
    				- HBM
    

I was attending a meeting where the speaker had a product's schedule up on the
screen from an overhead transparency entirely in caps.	I got to the bottom of
the slide -- which had lots of "DEC..." on it, and read something like this:

	"PRODUCT X		DECEMBER"

and thought to myself "What's a DEC ember?  That's ridiculous."	 It took a few
seconds for it to register as a date.

---Pete

    A friend of mine told me a good one the other day...
    
    He'd been working hard on a particular SW problem. One morning the
    alarm goes off, he sits up, leans over, and attempts to login to it.
    
    Dave

    I remember a poster of an old shaggy bum sitting on two worn tires
    in a junk yard trying to warm himself by a small fire.
    
    The caption read:
                         
        "What ever happened to old Fred, after that Master File Problem?"

    In my left hand:  a sheet of line-printer paper folded in half.  My
    right hand is on the keyboard (I've been editing something), and I'm
    leaning back in a chair at home.  As I read the text on the paper, my
    right hand subconsciously hits the 0 key to scroll the text.
    
    
    				-- edp

    I walked into my office, sat down and began to type. After about
    30 seconds I realized what I was doing and quickly moved my tapping
    fingers from the unmarked pad of paper to the keyboard of my terminal.
    
    Up till then I had assumed that notes 181.0 thru 181.90 were fiction!
    My humble apologies, I think I've been working here to long!
    
    	Ray

    Um, er, I did another one. I was editing a letter, and got to
    the salutation - and "Dear <foo>" came out "DIR <foo>"...
    
    Oh, well. Maybe they'll understand!
    
    -b

    Awhile ago, I was adding some things up on my hand calculator and
    was interupted by a phone call.
    
    I came back and started adding some more numbers again, but couldn't
    find the blasted "=" key.  I was holding the remote control to my TV.

    	I'm working at the french TSC. After a hard day, I was surprise
    myself to dial a telephone number on the keypad of my VT. I was
    never connected...
    
    	Didier.

    Shortly after we married, John introduced me to an acquaintance of
    his.  When the acquaintance realized that we were both programmers
    and have been known to call each other with technical questions,
    he stared at us in horror and exclaimed:  "Good heavens!  Do you
    two do a memory dump over the dinner table?"  (Sometimes!) 

    We say "popping the stack" to return to an earlier conversation...
    and occasionally "context switch" to change the subject...I
    frequently turn off my hearing-aids if I'm reading or otherwise
    concentrating, in which case I have to "enable interrupts" to
    talk...but I always respond to "non-maskable interrupts!"  :-) 

    -- Linda Huxtable

    I had been managing a new and rapidly expanding VAXcluster for a
    year when my wife became pregnant with our first child.  She was
    horrified when I referred to the unborn as "Newnode::" (seemed natural
    enough to me at the time), but I suppose the final straw was when
    I "discovered" it (at birth) and then waited for it to assert a
    membership request...
    
    My daughter is now two and some change, my wife again speaks to
    me, and only grimaces in dispair when I refer to Amanda's "excessive
    paging into her diaper"...
    
    

    RE: .96:
    I refer to my kid's diaper as the DumpFile..
    	-Rick