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Conference noted::hackers_v1

Title:-={ H A C K E R S }=-
Notice:Write locked - see NOTED::HACKERS
Moderator:DIEHRD::MORRIS
Created:Thu Feb 20 1986
Last Modified:Mon Aug 03 1992
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:680
Total number of notes:5456

107.0. "April Fools" by HARE::STAN () Tue Apr 02 1985 04:27

Well, April 1 has come and gone and I wasn't even hacked once.
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
107.1VAXUUM::DYERWed Apr 03 1985 03:526
	The VMS cluster had a good one.  The prompt was a little Burma Shave
ad, one word at a time.

	I wish I could find the sources to APRILFOOL.EXE; I wanted to use it
on VAXUUM (V4.0).
		<_Jym_>
107.2LOGIC::PUDERWed Apr 03 1985 19:356
An interesting one happened here (though it is probably old hat to some of
you).  Someone (still unidentified) replaced the system error messages
file, so access violations told you that you had exceeded the speed limit,
control-Y responded "Don't interrupt me", etc.

	Karl.
107.3VAXUUM::DYERThu Apr 04 1985 03:132
	[RE .2]:  Yup, that sounds like APRILFOOL.EXE (which is a message file).
#6	<_Jym_>\
107.4Where can I get a copy of APRILFOOL.EXE ?FAITH::FALEKThe TU58 KingWed Mar 12 1986 17:292
    April is coming... can anyone point me to the location of APRILFOOL.EXE
    on the net?		lou f.
107.5CLT""::SYS$PUBLIC:APRILFOOL.EXETHEBAY::MTHOMASMatt ThomasWed Mar 12 1986 23:290
107.6I found it on TLE, not CLTEXIT26::STRATTONJim StrattonThu Mar 13 1986 00:320
107.7aprilfool.exe: what it does?OBLIO::SHUSTERRoB ShUsTeRThu Mar 13 1986 14:358
What does Aprilfool.exe do?  I tried running it, and I got the error 
message:

%DCL-    No transfer address

Does it require some priveleges?


107.8ULTRA::PRIBORSKYTony PriborskyThu Mar 13 1986 14:461
    Try SET MESSAGE APRILFOOL
107.9Anyone have the source?PARVAX::PFAUHacker for hireFri Mar 14 1986 01:580
107.10Why are MESSAGE files .EXE's if you don't run them?JON::MORONEYFri Mar 14 1986 02:130
107.11Do you run VMSRTL.EXE ?? :-)PASTIS::MONAHANFri Mar 14 1986 06:0911
    	Re : .10 The .MSG extension is already used (by the source code),
    the files are produced by the linker (and can be used as shared
    images which are also .EXE and not executable).
    
    	Probably it was just lack of number of characters and imagination
    when they were first introduced (VMS V2.0).
    
    	I suppose now they could be called .LINKED_MESSAGE_SECTION files
    since we have more characters to play with in V4.
    
    		:-)  Dave
107.12ASGMKB::TOMASJoeFri Mar 14 1986 11:164
    Sorry to show my ignorance of VMS, but if I SET MESSAGE APRILFOOLS,
    does it impact any other users on the system or am I the only "fool"
    that gets to see the error messages?  Without privs, how can I run
    it against someone else?
107.13ULTRA::PRIBORSKYTony PriborskyFri Mar 14 1986 11:5522
    Re: .12:   If you do a SET MESSAGE, you're the only one.   If you
    want to get everyone flustered and angry, do the following:
    
    	$ COPY SYS$MESSAGE:SYSMSG.EXE SYSMSG.OLD
    	$ COPY APRILFOOL.EXE SYS$MESSAGE:SYSMSG.EXE
    
    and reboot.   (I think the SYSMSG section is mapped at boot time
    and can't be replaced dynamically.   I'm not priv'd anymore so I
    can't go looking.   If it is dynamic, try the following:
    
    	$ MC INSTALL
    	SYS$MESSAGE:SYSMSG/REPLACE
    
    and see what happens.   At a minimum, you'll probably have to log
    off and in again.   No guarantees about system integrity if you
    do that and it doesn't work.)
                                 
    Then, make sure on April 2, that you put the SYSMSG.OLD back again.
    (You could just delete SYSMSG.MSG;0 if you didn't do a purge, or
    rename SYSMSG.OLD to SYSMSG.EXE.)
    
    Happy all fools day!
107.14SET MESSAGE in SYLOGINSKYLAB::FISHERFri Mar 14 1986 12:056
    You might want to do SET MESSAGE in SYLOGIN rather than replacing
    the file.  This gives you a more graceful fallback if the message
    that VMS wants to send is new since APRILFOOL was made.
    
    Burns
    
107.15BISTRO::HEINHein van den Heuvel, Valbonne.Fri Mar 14 1986 13:4213
Re .13:
        >	I'm not priv'd anymore so I can't go looking.
	>    
	>    	$ MC INSTALL
	>    	SYS$MESSAGE:SYSMSG/REPLACE
	>    
	>    and see what happens.
        
    What happens? You loose youre privileges and do not collect $$$.
    
    :^)
    
    Hein.
107.16for SYLOGINFROST::PIPERbill piperFri Mar 14 1986 13:596
Here's what I threw into SYLOGIN.COM in preparation for the
big day...   - piper

$	if f$extract (5,5,f$cvtime()) .eqs. "04-01" .and. -
	   f$environment ("Interactive") then -
		set message sys$tools:aprilfool
107.17New APRILFOOL.MSGVAXUUM::DYERBrewer - PatriotFri Mar 14 1986 14:41997
	    Paul (TUNDRA::) Harriman reverse-hacked APRILFOOL.EXE and
	made some additions and alterations.  Here's his version of
	APRILFOOL.MSG.  Share and Enjoy.
			<_Jym_>

       .TITLE  	       An Improved VMS Error message file

       .FACILITY       SYSTEM,0/PREFIX=SHR/SHARED/SYSTEM

!      	       Starts at 1.
       .SEVERITY       SUCCESS
       .BASE		0

NORMAL	        <we were only kidding you, actually it blew up>

       .FACILITY       SHR,0/PREFIX=SHR/SHARED/SYSTEM
       .SEVERITY       ERROR
       .BASE		1

ACCVIO		<traffic violation, clocked speed=!XB in a !XL mph zone, PC=!XL,PSL=!XL>/FAO=4
BADPARAM	<bad par value - you need a handicap>
EXQUOTA		<How much did you want???>
NOPRIV		<say 'pretty-please', or you can't do it>
ABORT		<drop dead>
BADATTRIB	<like, huh?>
BADESCAPE	<escape attempt failed>
BADIMGHDR	<Load and run it yourself, I can't read it.>
CHANINTLK	<channel is interlocked - what's wrong with you?>
CTRLERR		<fatal controller error - your plane just crashed>
DATACHECK	<write check error - you are overdrawn at the data-bank>
DEVFOREIGN	<foreign device has a strange accent>
DEVMOUNT	<device is already mounted side-saddle>
DEVNOTMBX	<device is not a mailbox, see your postoffice for further help>
DEVNOTMOUNT	<device is not mounted, pervert>
DEVOFFLINE	<device is sleeping late this morning>
DRVERR		<fatal drive error - your car has crashed>
DUPLNAM		<duplicate process name - which one is a clone?>
FILACCERR	<magnetic tape file access is nonblank>
FILALRACC	<file is already accessed, you goon!>
FILNOTACC	<try accessing the file>
FILNOTEXP	<file is not expecting any visitors today>
FORMAT		<FORTRAN format statements not allowed here or anywhere else>
GPTFULL		<guppy tank is full, call the cat, please>
GSDFULL		<gas dealer is full, and you can't have any>
LCKPAGFUL	<no more pages - you lose, buckwheat>
ILLBLKNUM	<illogical block number, all blocks fell down>
ILLCNTRFUNC	<illegal PCP purchase>
ILLEFC		<illegal peanut cluster>
ILLIOFUNC	<sick I/O function code>
ILLPAGCNT	<sick page count parameter>
ILLSER		<wrong service call number - call information>
INCVOLLABEL	<incorrect volume label, try the balance knob>
INSFARG		<insufferable arguments from a pipsqueak programmer>
INSFWSL		<insufficient working conditions, I quit>
INSFMEM		<insufficient memory, I forget what you want me to do>
INSFRAME	<insufficient call frames to unwind>
IVADDR		<invalid address - see the mail man>
IVCHAN		<invalid channel, try HBO or PREVIEW>
IVDEVNAM	<Do that one more time and you'll get logged out>
IVGSDNAM	<cannot cram anything more into the global symbol table>
IVLOGNAM	<illogical name>
IVLOGTAB	<illogical name table number>
IVQUOTAL	<invalid quota list>
IVSECFLG	<invalid process/global section flags>
IVSSRQ		<wrong call, bar-rag breath>
IVSTSFLG	<invalid status symbol, American cars are out>
IVTIME		<time for your I.V.>
LENVIO		<Len was violated>
LKWSETFUL	<can't cram anything into locked portion of working set>
MBTOOSML	<mailbox is too small for packages>
MEDOFL		<can't you see the medium is offline?>
NODATA		<mailbox is empty - nobody loves you anymore>
NOIOCHAN	<Channels are all tied up at the moment>
NOLOGNAM	<try a real logical name>
NONEXDRV	<imaginary drives bring imaginary results>
NOTFILEDEV	<you might consider trying a file-structured device>
NOTINTBLSZ	<block size is greater than 2048>
NOTLABELMT	<tape is not sticky, use glue>
NOTSQDEV	<you might actually consider using a sequential device>
PAGOWNVIO	<you violated the page owner, hope it was fun>
PARITY		<have a parity every friday>
PARTESCAPE	<you almost escaped but you got caught>
PFMBSY		<page fault monitor is in use>
PSTFULL		<process section table is full>
RESULTOVF	<resultant string overflow>
SECTBLFUL	<section table (process/global) is full>
TAPEPOSLOST	<magnetic tape lost, check machine room floor>
TIMEOUT		<timeout called by referee>
UNASEFC		<unassociated event flag cluster>
UNSAFE		<drive unsafe at any speed.  Disk brakes failed>
VASFULL		<vasectomy is futile>
VECINUSE	<AST vector already enabled>
VOLINV		<volume is 3-dimensional>
WRITLCK		<you said to put a write lock, now you want to write?>
NOTAPEOP	<look ma, no hands>
IVCHNLSEC	<invalid channel for create and mung section>
NOMBX		<no associated mailbox for 'OCCUPANT'>
NOLINKS		<Sausages are all gone>
NOSOLICIT	<Lawyers and courtesans need not apply>
NOSUCHNODE	<remote node is ridiculous>
REJECT		<stop wasting my time>
TOOMUCHDATA	<too much optional/interrupt data specified>
BUGCHECK	<check for fleas>
FILNOTCNTG	<It's not the way you wanted it so I killed it>
BADSTACK	<Needles found in process stack>
MCHECK		<call Field Circus, say PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
DEVACTIVE	<device is spinning like a top>
HANGUP		<Data Set has more hangups than a closet full of shirts>
OPINCOMPL	<operator is incompetent>
ILLSEQOP	<sick, sick, sick!>
IVSECIDCTL	<wrong section, try the balcony>
NOTNETDEV	<not a net, maybe it's a basket>
IVPROTECT	<Protections don't work like that you silly gnome>
ACPVAFUL	<MTAACP crashed and burned>
MTLBLLONG	<Magtape label is too damn long!>
BUFBYTALI	<buffer bytes more than it can skew>
NOAQB		<Go to the head of the queue>
WRONGACP	<can't you do anything right?>
BUFNOTALIGN	<align, align, my kingdom for align>
DEVCMDERR	<Device can't understand your gibberish>
DEVREQERR	<Device requests you stop making errors>
INSFBUFDP	<lost on the data path to happiness>
INSFMAPREG	<I think we're lost, what do you think?>
IVBUFLEN	<You can't put that in there>
IVMODE		<You're on a liquid diet>
MCNOTVALID	<device microcode sucks eggs>
POWERFAIL	<power failure occurred - I just had a lobotomy>
SHMGSNOTMAP	<shared memory lost it bad>
TOOMANYLNAM	<logical name translation has me totally confused>
SHMNOTCNCT	<shared memory not connected - try plugging it in>
NOTCREATOR	<request denied, user is not God>
INTERLOCK	<unable to rip off system data structure interlock>
BADQUEUEHDR	<interlocked queue corrupted - what fun!>
NOSLOT		<pcb or swap slot doesn't like you>
SUSPENDED	<process is hanging by a thread>
EXPORTQUOTA	<Too many shipments from Japan>
NOSHMBLOCK	<no free shared memory block available for creation>
BADQFILE	<invalid disk quota file format>
NOQFILE		<no disk quota file available - try the paging file instead>
QFACTIVE	<disk quota file is already active, and it probably doesn't work.>
QFNOTACT	<no quota file today.>
DUPDSKQUOTA	<Congratulations! you just had twins.>
NODISKQUOTA	<System manager forgot to give you a quota.>
EXDISKQUOTA	<disk quota exceeded. Files deleted at random>
IDMISMATCH	<ident mismatch with existing global section>
NOWRT		<now writing to read-only section>
PLHLDR		<reserved for future use>
ASTFLT		<AST fault, SP=!XL, param=!XL, PC=!XL, PSL=!XL, target PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=6
BREAK		<it's all your fault at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
CMODSUPR	<change mode to supervisor trap, code=!XL, PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=3
CMODUSER	<change mode to user trap, code=!XL, PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=3
COMPAT		<compatibility mode fault (code !UB) at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=3
OPCCUS		<opcode reserved to Data General at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
OPCDEC		<opcode reserved to Data General at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
PAGRDERR	<page read error, reason mask=!XB, virtual address=!XL, PC=!XL,PSL=!XL>/FAO=4
RADRMOD		<reserved addressing fault at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
ROPRAND		<reserved operand fault at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
SSFAIL		<system service failure exception, status=!XL, PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=3
TBIT		<T-bit pending trap at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
DEBUG		<command interpreter debugger signal at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
ARTRES		<reserved arithmetic trap at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
INTOVF		<arithmetic trap, integer overflow at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
INTDIV		<arithmetic trap, integer divide by zero at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
FLTOVF		<arithmetic trap, floating overflow at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
FLTDIV		<arithmetic trap, floating/decimal divide by zero at PC=!XL,PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
FLTUND		<arithmetic trap, floating underflow at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
DECOVF		<arithmetic trap, decimal overflow at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
SUBRNG		<arithmetic trap, subscript out of range at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
FLTOVF_F	<arithmetic fault, floating overflow at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
FLTDIV_F	<arithmetic fault, floating divide by zero at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
FLTUND_F	<arithmetic fault, floating underflow at PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=2
INHCHMK		<inhibited CHMKernel trap, code=!XL, PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=3
INHCHME		<inhibited CHMExecutive trap, code=!XL, PC=!XL, PSL=!XL>/FAO=3


!%SYSTEM-S-NOMSG	<Message number 000004D9>
!%SYSTEM-S-NOMSG	<Message number 000005F9>

       .BASE   	       192

BUFFEROVF	<output buffer barfed>
CONTROLO	<output completed very quietly...>
CONTROLY	<operation completed under CTRL/Y>
CREATED		<file/section did not exist - was created>
MSGNOTFND	<message not in system message file - are you surprised?>
NOTRAN		<no string transration performed>
SUPERSEDE	<logical name replaced at random>
WASECC		<successful transfer; no data check, really.>
DEVALRALLOC	<you already have that device, bonehead!>
REMOTE		<remote node took it's sweet time doing it>
CONTROLC	<operation completed under CTRL/C>
NOTMODIFIED	<no pages in the section were modified>
RDDELDATA	<read deleted data address mark and it was lots of fun>
OVRDSKQUOTA	<Now deleting files at random>
SYSVERDIF	<relink this image or you can't have any privileges>
FILEPURGED	<newest file version purged>
NOTALLPRIV	<you and I both know you can't do all of those things>
SYNCH		<hey it all worked>
CONCEALED	<logical device name concealed a small hatpin>
INCOMPAT	<Feature incompatible with every system version>
DBGOPCREQ	<debugger opcode request for PC !XL !+>/FAO=2
ALRDYCLOSED	<wake up, it finished already>
LNMCREATED	<logical name table needed leaves put in it>
ACEIDMATCH	<ACE identifier match>
DBGEVENT	<debugger event - someone used Raid>
!%SYSTEM-S-NOMSG	<Message number 000006C9>
!%SYSTEM-S-NOMSG	<Message number 000007F9>

       .BASE   	       256

ACCONFLICT	<fight over the access with someone else>
BADCHKSUM	<bad file header checksum>
BADFILEHDR	<bad file header - can't you read?>
BADFILENAME	<file name sucks raw eggs>
BADFILEVER	<bad file version number>
BADIRECTORY	<no way that's a directory>
CANCEL		<I/O operation canceled>
DATAOVERUN	<data overrun>
DEVALLOC	<device already stolen by another loser>
DEVASSIGN	<device has channels assigned>
DEVICEFULL	<device full - you can't have it>
DEVNOTALLOC	<device not stolen, yet>
DIRFULL		<directory has had too much to eat>
DUPFILENAME	<I'm seeing double>
ENDOFFILE	<end of file - now reading nonexistant data>
ENDOFTAPE	<end of tape - now playing track 2>
EXTIDXFILE	<***** obsolete - delete when convenient>
FCPREADERR	<file processor read error>
FCPREWNDERR	<file processor rewind error>
FCPSPACERR	<file processor space error>
FCPWRITERR	<file processor write error>
FILELOCKED	<file locked with combination padlock>
FILENUMCHK	<file identification number check>
FILESEQCHK	<file identification sequence number check>
FILESTRUCT	<you can define that structure level yourself, I don't understand it>
HEADERFULL	<file header is full, empty it.>
IDXFILEFULL	<index file is full, empty it.>
MBFULL		<mailbox is full, so empty it>
NOHOMEBLK	<Files-11 home block is on another disk, apparently>
NONEXPR		<Nobody there by that name>
NONLOCAL	<device is not local - call the State Department>
NOHANDLER	<keep your handlers of of my stack>
NOSIGNAL	<no smoke signals currently on the horizon>
NOSUCHDEV	<There are none of those here!>
NOSUCHFILE	<I looked and looked and just can't find it>
RESIGNAL	<I can't be bothered. ask the next handler>
UNWIND		<unwind and slip into something more comfortable>
UNWINDING	<leave me alone, I'm unwinding>
NOMOREFILES	<no more files - would you like to see my etchings?>
BEGOFFILE	<beginning of time recorded>
BLOCKCNTERR	<block count error>
MUSTCLOSEFL	<must close file badly>
WAITUSRLBL	<waiting for user labels>
ILLUSRLBLRD	<illegal read of user labels>
ILLUSRLBLWT	<illegal write of user labels>
ILLLBLAST	<illegal user label AST control block address>
ENDOFUSRLBL	<no more user labels>
NOSUCHSEC	<no such (global) section>
CLIFRCEXT	<CLI forced programmus interruptus>
FCPREPSTN	<file processor reposition error>
TOOMANYVER	<too many higher file versions>
NOTVOLSET	<keep your volumes in the family, buddy>
ENDOFVOLUME	<yum yum. have any more?>
NOMOREPROC	<ran out of process steam>
NODEVAVL	<no device available now - got a few minutes?>
NOTQUEUED	<request punted>
DGQINCOMP	<datagram queue operation incomplete>
DIRALLOC	<can't allocate directory space>
ACLEMPTY	<access control list is empty>
NOENTRY		<access control entry not found>
NOMOREACE	<access control list is exhausted, it's been up all night>
RIGHTSFULL	<rights list had too much to eat>
VALNOTVALID	<value block is not valid>
ACLFULL		<ACL segment list had too much to eat>
NOMORENODE	<no nodes in the first place>
NOMORELOCK	<no more locks, we got bagels left>
BEGOFTAPE	<beginning of time encountered>

!%SYSTEM-S-NOMSG	<Message number 00000A19>
!%SYSTEM-S-NOMSG	<Message number 00000BF9>

       .BASE   384

EOTIN		<EOT response to text>
CHAINW		<chained write received>

!%SYSTEM-S-NOMSG	<Message number 00000C11>
!%SYSTEM-S-NOMSG	<Message number 00000DF9>

       .BASE   448

LINEABRT	<host died or is deaf>
DEADLOCK	<deadlock detected - kill yourself>
NOLOCKID	<no lock id. available>
EXDEPTH		<exceeded allowed depth>
PARTMAPPED	<some file map pointers not permanently resident>
CANCELGRANT	<cannot cancel a granted lock>
RETRY		<Play it one more time, Sam>
BADACL		<ACL is corrupt>
ACEEXISTS	<you already have that ACE in the ACL>

!%SYSTEM-S-NOMSG	<Message number 00000E49>
!%SYSTEM-S-NOMSG	<Message number 00000FF9>

       .BASE   	       512

APPENDED	<!AS scrambled with !AS (!UL block!%S dropped)>/FAO=4

       .BASE   	       514

BADDATA		<garbage (!XB) at !XL>/FAO=2
BADFIELD	<!AS field is garbaged out at !XL>/FAO=2
BADDATA1		<garbage (!XL) found at !XL>/FAO=2
BADDATA2		<garbage (!XW) smelled at !XL>/FAO=2

       .BASE   	       518

BEGIN		<!AS beginning to lose>/FAO=1
BEGIN1		<!AS started at !%D>/FAO=2
!BEGIN		<!AS beginning of the end at !%T>/FAO=2

       .BASE   	       521

CLICB		<CLI control block at !XL>/FAO=1
CLOSEIN		<error closing !AS - it slammed shut>/FAO=1
CLOSEOUT	<error closing !AS - it has claustrophobia>/FAO=1
COPIED		<!AS mangled into !AS (!UL block!%S shuffled)>/FAO=4
COPIED1		<!AS squished into !AS (!UL record!%S broken)>/FAO=4

       .BASE   	       526

FCREATED	<!AS created in Guiness Book of Records>/FAO=1
ITENDED		<!AS passed away>/FAO=1
ENDED1		<!AS died at !%D>/FAO=2
ENDED2		<!AS kicked the bucket at !%T>/FAO=2

       .BASE   	       530

NEWFILES	<!UL file!%S mixed up together>/FAO=2
OPENIN		<error opening !AS like a can of sardines>/FAO=1
OPENOUT		<error opening !AS - my fingers slipped>/FAO=1
OVERLAY		<!AS being overwritten, along with the rest of your directory>/FAO=1
READERR		<error reading !AS, I lost my glasses>/FAO=1
REPLACED	<!AS being replaced by zeroes>/FAO=1
CONCAT		<wildcard specification cannot be trumped>
WILDOUTVER	<you can't use wildcards there, you dope>
WRITEERR	<error writing !AS. -5 for spelling>/FAO=1
ITDIED		<!AS terminated with extreme prejudice>/FAO=1
ABORT1		<the world will end at !%D>
ABORT2		<the world ended at !%T>

       .BASE   	       542

SYSERROR	<!AS system service error at PC !XL>/FAO=2
SYNTAX		<error parsing '!AS'. Do it right or I'll break your fingers>/FAO=1
NOVALUE		<'!AS' keyword requires $5000 in small unmarked bills>/FAO=1
BADKEY		<'!AS' is tantamount to blackmail>/FAO=1
BADVALUE	<'!AS' turns my stomach>/FAO=1
BADDELIM	<keep your '!AS' to yourself, gobbler>/FAO=1
BADLOGIC	<I don't know what I'm doing>
NOWILD		<no wild parties permitted>
TEXT		<You must be very naive to believe that "!AS">/FAO=1
CONCAT1		<what makes you think indexed files can be concatenated?>
CONCAT2		<what makes you think relative files can be concatenated?>

       .BASE   	       553

HIGHVER		<higher version of !AS might exist in the future>/FAO=1
FOOLOGIC	<we blew it at PC !XL>/FAO=1
ATPC		<lost it at PC !XL>/FAO=1
FOOVALUE	<'!AS' is a waste of paper>/FAO=1
BADVALUE1	<'!AS' is an invalid form type>/FAO=1
BADVALUE2	<'!AS' is unemployed>/FAO=1
BADVALUE3	<'!AS' is a silly job name anyway>/FAO=1
BADVALUE4	<'!AS' is an invalid priority>/FAO=1
BADVALUE5	<'!AS' is the wrong queue name>/FAO=1
BADVALUE6	<'!AS' is a stupid time specification>/FAO=1

       .BASE   	       563

NOQUEUE		<!AS queue is a silly name>/FAO=1
NOJOB		<job !UW never went in !AS queue>/FAO=2
NOJOB1		<job !AS not found in !AS queue>/FAO=2

       .BASE   	       566

SYSFOO		<system service lost it>
NOTCOPIED	<!AS not copied - do your own work>/FAO=1
NOTCMPLT	<only the interesting parts of !AS were copied>/FAO=1
RMSERROR	<RMS lost it>
UNXPCTSTS	<unexpected status detected. Expected '!AS'. Found:>/FAO=1
HCONCAT		<concatenate a hashed file and you get mush>
INCOMATR	<!AS (input) and !AS (output) are not the same type>/FAO=2
VALERR		<specified value is outrageous - try again, human>
FILNOTDEL	<error diddling !AS - Have you considered Russian Roulette>/FAO=1
CONFDEL		<!/!AS, delete? (Y or N or Maybe) :>/FAO=2
DELETED		<!AS exterminated without mercy>/FAO=1
DELVER		<explicit version number or phase of moon required>
PURGEVER	<you are really starting to irritate me>
CLOSEDEL	<error closing !AS, fingers caught in drive>/FAO=1
DIRTOOBUS	<directory is presently too active to be purged>
NOFILPURG	<*.*;* deleted!AS>/FAO=1
FILNOTPUR	<error deleting !AS, bits stuck to ones>/FAO=1
SEARCHFAIL	<can't find !AS, where do you think you left it?>/FAO=1
DELINTERR	<internal error in DELETE/PURGE utility>
PARSEFAIL	<error parsing !AS , this is your last warning!>/FAO=1
FILPURGED	<!AS pulverized>/FAO=1
ENDABORT	<!AS is too disgusting to compile - aborted>/FAO=1
ENDDIAGS	<!AS sneaked thru with !UL diagnostic!%S>/FAO=3
ENDNOOBJ	<!AS completed with !UL diagnostic!%S - read the manual, turkey>/FAO=3
HALTED		<transfer has been halted by men in black suits>
NOCMDMEM	<no command memory has been allocated>
QEMPTY		<queue busy computing PI to 10,000,000,000,000 decimal places>
CBT		<insufficient contiguous space, files deleted randomly to make room >
EXISTS		<Stop repeating yourself, !AS already exists>/FAO=1
UNLOCKED	<!AS unlocked with skeleton key>/FAO=1
RENAMED		<!AS can be referred to as !AS>/FAO=2
PROTECTED	<protection on !AS changed to 'Burn after reading'>/FAO=1
NOTLOCKED	<!AS was not locked, the pirate has taken all your data>/FAO=1
ACTIMAGE	<error activating image !AS. Try again, sucker>/FAO=1
DIRNOTCRE	<!AS directory file not created>/FAO=1
NODESTQUE	<No such destination queue !AS>/FAO=1
ILLDESQUE	<Silly destination queue name !AS>/FAO=1
NOTTERM		<input device is not a terminal>
CONFQUAL	<You are lost in a maze of conflicting qualifiers>
ILLDIRCOPY	<illegal directory copy of !AS attempted>/FAO=1
INSVIRMEM	<insufficient virtuous memory (too many naughty bits)>
CREATEDSTM	<!AS has been created in stream format>/FAO=1
NOTRUNC		<file organization only allows hatchbacks>
PRODNOTINS	<optional software product !AS not installed>/FAO=1
TOTAL		<!UL file!%S destroyed (!UL block!%S knocked over)>/FAO=4
FILPURG		<!AS sent to Siberia (!UL block!%S knocked over)>/FAO=3
FILDEL		<!AS obliterated (!UL block!%S smashed)>/FAO=3
INVQUAVAL	<value '!AS' invalid for /!AS qualifier>/FAO=2
NOFILES		<no files selected for anything>
FILNOTACB	<file !AS isn't accepting visitors today>/FAO=1
QUALMISS	<qualifier, !AS, missing from command line>/FAO=1
FILSPCSRCH	<file specification !AS contains a search list - horrors!>/FAO=1
NOSRCHLST	<this command does not support search lists>
NOSUCHRID	<unknown rights identifier>

!%SYSTEM-S-NOMSG		<Message number 00001361>
!%SYSTEM-S-NOMSG		<Message number 00001FF9>

       .BASE   	       1024

BADISD			<illegal image section descriptor>
RELINK			<obsolete executable image - please relink>
NOTINSTALL	<writable shareable images must be installed>
SHARTOOBIG	<new version of shareable image too big - relink all images>
NOP1VA		<P1 space not supported in shareable images>
MULTRMS		<multiple RMS vectors specified>
VECFULL		<privileged vector limit of 42 exceeded>
IVLVEC		<you should have installed the section with privileges>
INSFSPTS	<insufficient SPTs to map process buffer to system>
DISCONNECT	<process is disconnected from requested interrupt vector>
PRIVINSTALL	<shareable images must be installed to run privileged image>
PROTINSTALL	<try installing the protected image>
BADVEC		<invalid change mode or message vector>
REMRSRC		<out of everything at remote node>
PROTOCOL	<network protocol error, you forgot to kiss my hand-shake>
THIRDPARTY	<network logical link disconnected by a disgruntled operator>
NOSUCHUSER	<remote node doesn't know you>
SHUT		<remote node is catatonic>
UNREACHABLE	<you can't get there from here>
INVLOGIN	<you have been denied at the remote node>
NOSUCHOBJ	<network object doesn't like your face at remote node>
EXCPUTIM	<CPU just kicked out your infinite loop>
OPRABORT	<aborted by operator with coat hanger>
SHRIDMISMAT	<ident mismatch with shareable image>
COMMHARD	<communications hardware sucks wind>
IVCHAR		<you can't type for beans>
DEVINACT	<device is playing dead>
CONNECFAIL	<DECnet has screwed you again>
LINKABORT	<network partner aborted logical link with coat hanger>
LINKDISCON	<network partner has absconded to Brazil>
LINKEXIT	<network partner exited, stage left>
PATHLOST	<you are lost in a maze of little twisted pairs>
CLEARED		<virtual call was cleared>
RESET		<circuit died and was reincarnated>
UNSOLICIT	<response not solicited>
TOOMANYREDS	<too many redirects>
IVLOCKID	<invalid lock id>
SUBLOCKS	<cannot dequeue a lock with sublocks>
PARNOTGRANT	<parent lock must be granted>
CVTUNGRANT	<cannot convert an ungranted lock>
FORCEDERROR	<forced error flagged in last sector read>
ILLSELF		<you must be ill>
ILLCDTST	<illegal connection descriptor table state>
NOLISTENER	<specified remote system process not listening - you must be boring as hell>
EXGBLPAGFIL	<you are accessing imaginary global page space>
BADRCT		<Replacement and Caching Table unrecoverable I/O error>
DIRNOTEMPTY	<you forgot to delete the files in the directory first>
FORCEDEXIT	<Job Controller spat out your image>
NOTPRINTED	<failed to queue spool file for print>
JBCERROR	<job controller doesn't speak your language>
NOLICENSE	<operation requires license to kill>
VCBROKEN	<virtual circuit broken all over the floor>
VCCLOSED	<virtual circuit closed to all traffic>
INSFCDT		<insufficient CDT entries>
DEVNOTDISM	<device not dismal enough>
NOSHRIMG	<privileged shareable image cannot have outbound calls>
DUPUNIT		<MSCP Controller - Duplicate Unit Number>
BADACLCTX	<ACL context has been corrupted>
SERIOUSEXCP	<TMSCP Controller - Serious Exception>
TEMPLATEDEV	<template device cannot be allocated>
IVACL		<invalid access control list entry syntax>
NOSUCHID	<you have no rights>
NOLCLMEDA	<no local program storage media available>
NOREGAVIL	<no region available to execute program>
NOREGSUIT	<no region suited to executing program>
NOSUCHPGM	<what was that program name?>
PGMLDFAIL	<program load failure>
PGMSTDALN	<program must be run standalone>
IVIDENT		<invalid identifier format>
DUPIDENT	<cloned identifier>
INCSEGTRA	<incomplete segmented transfer request posted>
NODELEAVE	<node leaving the cluster>
KERNELINV	<don't even try it again>
EXLNMQUOTA	<logical name table is full - wipe it off>
PARENT_DEL	<illegal attempt to commit patricide>
PARNOTSYS	<parent not system owned lock>
INSSWAPSPACE	<swapper just swapped you into imaginary space>
VOLOERR		<must override owner identifier field in VOL1 label>
DATALATE	<Mass Storage - Data Late Error>
OVRMAXARG	<I'm sick of your arguments>
SHACHASTA	<Shadow set has changed state>
TERMNETDEV	<Terminal is a net device, fool>
NOLOGTAB	<no logical name table name match>
WRONGNAME	<local node name must match SCSNODE>
NOVOLACC	<you can't access that magnetic tape volume>
NOFILACC	<user has no access to magnetic tape file>
INVEXHLIST	<termination handler control block list is corrupted>
NOACLSUPPORT	<ACLs not supported on selected object>
INVSECLASS	<invalid security classification block>
INCSHAMEM	<incompatible shadow set member>
SHACPYINP	<shadow copy in progress>
!%SYSTEM-S-NOMSG		<Message number 000022D9>
!%SYSTEM-S-NOMSG		<Message number 000024D9>

	.FACILITY	CLI,3/SYSTEM
	.SEVERITY	ERROR
	.BASE		1

ABVERB	<abnormal verbiage from a twisted terminal addict>/WARNING
ABKEYW	<you think I can read minds? Be more specific!>
BUFOVF	<type a carriage return sometime>/WARNING
COMPLX	<I really don't understand - simplify>
DEFOVF  <Hey, only eight things at a time, ok?>/WARNING
DIRECT	<directories don't look like that, buckwheat>
EXPSYN  <Express yourself some other way>/WARNING
IMCHNG	<Since I can't tell which one you want I won't do either one>
INSFPRM	<insufferable arguments from a pipsqueak programmer>/WARNING
IVCHAR	<you type like a nearsighted chimpanzee>

	.BASE		12

IVKEYW	<anybody ever tell you that you can't spell?>
IVOPER	<put the operator on a liquid diet>/WARNING
IVPROT	<yo man, this is a VAX. Protection codes are R,W,E, and D.>
IVQLOC  <parameters go AFTER the qualifiers, bonehead>/WARNING
IVSYMB	<where did you learn to say things like that?>
IVVALU	<that doesn't look like a number to me>/WARNING
IVVERB	<that's a pretty silly thing to type>
MAXPARM <piles of Parmesian cheese>/WARNING
NOATFL	<no @ file>
NOCCAT	<no cats allowed here>
NOCOMD	<Spreek Engrish, Yankee Dog>
NOKEYW	<I had to split it with the sound man (thanks Rocky)>
NOLIST	<stand up straight>
NOQUAL	<you don't deserve this job>
NOVALU	<worth nothing>
NOTNEG	<not neg is not not not neg>
NULFIL	<there is nothing there.>
NUMBER	<You know, like 1, 2, 3...>
ONCMD	<on my command you jump out the window>
ONERR	<read the DCL manual, you illiterate slob>
ONLEVL	<speaking on the level, you can't do that here.>
ONOVF	<no room at the onn. bang your symbols.>/WARNING
PARMDEL	<get some pastrami from the deli>
RSLOVF  <buffer lost it>/WARNING
SKPDAT	<I'll just skip dat stuff you left dere.>
STKOVF	<stuck over a stack of things you didn't want to do anyway>/WARNING
SYMDEL	<I just don't understand.>
SYMOVF	<you can't bang symbols here>/WARNING
UNDSYM	<Can't you spell, wimp?>
USGOTO  <GOTO and SYN nomore, O Ye of little bithacking>/WARNING
VALREQ	<0 is not not not 0 - or is it?>
ONEVAL	<one at a time, Jasper>/WARNING
OVRFLW	<choked on too much data>
UNPROQUAL	<no artificial colorings>
UNPROPARM	<no artificial flavorings>
INVKEY	<try a skeleton key>/WARNING
INVRSP	<I didn't say 'Simon Says'>
UNDFIL	<underwear is full of potato chips>/WARNING
FILOPN	<file is open, already.>
BADRET	<Frankly my dear I don't give a damn>/WARNING
ABSYMB	<there are at least two symbols that start like that>
INVUIC	<you blew it on the uic spec>
BADTEXT	<don't swear at me>
ABFNAM	<there are so many function names that match that...>
IVFNAM	<there are no function names that match that>
BLKOVRFLOW	<my bit bucket runneth over>
BLKUNDFLOW	<by bit bucket runneth under>
BADBLK	<it's one bad mutha>
NOLBLS	<you LBLS have to use the one marked LBLS ONLY>
NOCHANGE	<Operator cannot make change>
ABSENT		<it's the thought that counts>
NEGATED	<2 - 3 + 1 = 0>
INVFILSPE	<files can have long names but they can't be that long>
INVLOGFIL	<log files don't go like that>/WARNING
NOTHEN	<how on earth can you mess up an IF or an ON?>
SYMTOOLNG <what makes you think symbols can be this long?>/WARNING
ASTDCL	<I'm telling your parents about this AST you have here>
INVRANGE <you're out of range>/WARNING
LOCNEG	<I'll make believe I didn't see that>
CMDNOTFND <you never told me that before>/WARNING
IVQUAL	<wrong qualifier, you nitwit>
CMDSEG	<"!AS" means nothing to me anyway>/FAO=1/WARNING
NOTIFY	<you and I both know there is nobody to /NOTIFY there>
CONFLICT <conflicts are occurring right under your nose>/WARNING
UNDKEY	<!AC key !AS is on another machine somewhere else, no doubt>/FAO=2
ARGREQ	<I don't want to argue about it but you're wrong>/WARNING
SYMLNG	<you can have long names, but not that long!>
SYMABR	<Cute, but you can't use wildcards there>/WARNING
IVKEYNAM	<since when do keys look like that?>
NOPAREN	<if I could put parentheses around it I would have, but I can't.>
IVATIME	<this is no time to be using times like that>
IVDTIME <this is no time for such nonsense>/WARNING
TKNOVF	<turkey in November is Fine>
CMDFILERR <your LOGIN.COM stinks>

! NOMSG	<Message number 00038353
! 230058

	.BASE	256

CONFQUAL	<you are lost in a maze of conflicting qualifiers>
INVQUAL		<obtuse qualifier>
REQPRMABS	<but you HAVE to type all of the required parameters>
INVQUALNUM	<stupid qualifier number>
INVREQTYP	<wrong request type>
NOVALUE		<value not presentable>
VALCNVERR	<I can't convert this value>
ILLVAL		<this value is totally wrong>
NOOPTPRS	<I can't do what you don't tell me to>
CREQUEJOB	<queue !AS spat out your job>/FAO=1
SUBMITERR	<queue !AS didn't like your file>/FAO=1
DEVALSPL	<device is already spooled, you twerp>
DEVNOTSPL	<device is not spooled, fathead>
IVDEVTYPE	<invalid device type - specify a mailbox device>
IMGFNF		<image file isn't where you think it is>
DEVNOTFOR	<device doesn't think it's foreign>
PWDNOTVAL	<that wasn't the old password - try again, buckwheat>
PWDNOTVER	<that wan't what you just typed - you lose>
PWDLOCKED	<somebody doesn't trust you - the password is locked>
NOTFR		<no transfer address>
PWDSYNTAX	<you can't do passwords like that>
IMGNAME		<created in your own image file !AS>/FAO=1
IMAGEFNF	<!AS not in your image>/FAO=1
BADSTRLVL	<unrecognized structure level for command tables>
REFUSED		<what makes you think you can attach to that process?>
BADCTLMSK	<bad control character enable/disable mask>
INVRFM	<invalid record format for record I/O - file not opened>
NOCLINT	<image requested CLI interface routine that does not exist>
NOSPAWN	<you should know that DCL cannot SPAWN an MCR subprocess >
SPWNIO	<shared input or output files are not allowed - respecify>
TRMMBX	<terminal has associated mailbox - terminate image and then SPAWN>
STRTOOLNG	<string argument is too long - shorten>
CMDGONE		<you humans should read the manuals more>
NOCMDPROC	<error opening captive command procedure - access denied>
INVROUT	<invalid routine specified in command tables - check .CLD file>
OLDTAB	<command tables have obsolete format - use SET COMMAND to recreate>
INVTAB	<command tables have invalid format - see documentation>
NOTDISCON	<terminal is not disconnectable - explicitly specify LOGOUT>
ENTNF	<specified entity not found in command tables>

	.BASE		3000

DEFKEY	<!AC key !AS has been changed to something else>/FAO=2
DELKEY	<!AC key !AC has been disconnected from your terminal>/FAO=2
SETKEY	<keypad state of confusion is now !AC>/FAO=1
SPARE1	<spare - for future use>
ALLOC	<!AS allocated, blindly>/FAO=1
SUPERSEDE	<!AS's old value was stupid anyway>/FAO=1
INSPRIV	 <with no CMKRNL you expect to change your UIC?>
NODIRCHG	<directory cannot be changed to match UIC greater than [377,377]>
IGNQUAL		<qualifiers appearing before this item were ignored>
TABEXIST	<!AS already exists, you slime>/FAO=1
TABSUPER	<previous table !AS has been superseded>/FAO=1
TABNOTFND	<previous table !AS was not found - new table created>/FAO=1
DELSYM		<!AC symbol !AC has been totally eradicated>/FAO=2
SYMTRUNC	<preceding symbol value has been truncated>
KEYCNV		<synonym key !AS's alias is now !AS>/FAO=2

		.BASE		4000

SPAWNED		<salmon spawned all ovary your process !AS>/FAO=1
ATTACHED	<terminal now attached to your forehead>
OUTERLIMITS	<we now return control of your set>
PRESENT		<entity value is present in command string>
DEFAULTED	<entity defaulted present in command string>
CONCAT		<requested value is terminated by a plus sign>
LOCPRES		<entity value is locally present in command string>
COMMA		<requested value is terminated by a comma>
OKTAB		<command tables are already in latest format>
UPGTAB		<command tables have been upgraded to latest format>
PROC_ID		<new process can be called !XL>/FAO=1
QUEJOBCRE	<!UW cleared for takeoff on runway !AC>/FAO=2
!262138



	.FACILITY 	RMS,1/SYSTEM
	.SEVERITY	ERROR
	.BASE		0

STALL	<waiting for your other stuff to finish>
PENDING	<your other stuff isn't done yet>
OK_DUP	<stored record with duplicate key>
OK_IDX	<index update error occurred>
OK_RLK	<record lock but who cares>
OK_RRL	<record locked against read but I don't care, I read it anyway>
KFF	<found what I already knew anyway>
OK_ALK	<record is already locked>
OK_DEL	<deleted record successfully accessed>
OK_RNF	<nonexistent record successfully accessed>
OK_LIM	<retrieved record exceeds specified key value>
OK_NOP	<XAB not filled in for block I/O>
OK_WAT	<record locked after wait>
CRE_STM	<file was created in stream format>
OK_RULK	<record relocked in recovery unit>
!12303,16
!12338,51
	.BASE	51

BOF	<beginning of time found>
RNL	<record not locked with a padlock>
RTB	<!UL byte record too humongous for any use>/FAO=1
TMO	<you snooze, you lose>
TNS	<type a carriage return, pea-brain>
BES	<I don't understand that escape sequence>
PES	<you escaped, partially>
!12346,58
!12362,75
	.BASE	75

ACT	<file activity precludes operation>
DEL	<RFA-accessed record was deleted>
INCOMPSHR	<incompatible file sharing specified>
DNR	<device unavailable for comment>
EOF	<end of world detected>
FEX	<file already exists, I give up>
FLK	<file currently stolen by another user>
FNF	<file not found, where did you leave it?>
PRV	<Don't threaten me, hacker>
REX	<record is a clone>
RLK	<target record currently locked by another stream>
RNF	<record not found, where did you put it?>
WLK	<you can't write to this device now>
EXP	<file is not expired, yet>
NMF	<no more files found>
SUP	<network operation not supported; DAP code = !XL>/FAO=1
RSA	<record stream currently active>
CRC	<network DAP level CRC check failed>
WCC	<invalid wild card context (WCC) value>
IDR	<you can't rename directories you idiot>
LWC	<lock wait canceled>
XCR	<conflicting RU attributes in journal XAB>
NOVALPRS	<$SEARCH operation not preceded by valid $PARSE>
!12385,97
!12412,125

	.BASE	125

TEMP0	<UNUSED>
AID	<invalid area ID = !UL>/FAO=1
ALN	<alignment options error for area id = !UL>/FAO=1
ALQ	<invalid allocation quantity (negative, or 0 on $EXTEND)>
ANI	<not ANSI "D" format>
AOP	<allocation options error for area id = !UL>/FAO=1
BKS	<bucket size too large (FAB)>
BKZ	<inconsistent bucket size for area id = !UL>/FAO=1
BLN	<invalid block length for control block (RAB/FAB)>
BUG	<internal RMS error condition detected>
BUG_DDI	<default directory name is silly>
BUG_DAP	<Data Access Protocol error detected; DAP code = !XL>/FAO=1
BUG_XX1	<reserved bug code>
BUG_XX2	<reserved bug code>
BUG_XX3	<reserved bug code>
BUG_XX4	<reserved bug code>
BUG_XX5	<reserved bug code>
BUG_XX6	<reserved bug code>
BUG_XX7	<reserved bug code>
BUG_XX8	<reserved bug code>
BUSY	<user structure (FAB/RAB) still in use>
CCR	<cannot connect RAB>
CHG	<invalid key change in $UPDATE (CHG not set)>
CHK	<bucket format check failed for VBN = !UL>/FAO=1
COD	<invalid or unsupported type field in XAB at !XL>/FAO=1
CUR	<no current record (operation not preceded by $GET/$FIND)>
DAN	<invalid data area number for key = !UL>/FAO=1
DEV	<do that one more time and you'll get logged out>
DIR	<directory name is stupid>
DME	<dynamic memory exhausted, it's been up all night>
DNA	<invalid default file name string address>
DTP	<invalid key data type for key = !UL>/FAO=1
DUP	<cloned key detected (DUP not set)>
DVI	<invalid device ID value in NAM block>
ESA	<invalid expanded string address>
ESS	<expanded string area too small>
FAB	<FAB is all wrong or you protected it>
FAC	<you can't do that to that file>
FLG	<invalid key definition flags for key = !UL>/FAO=1
FNA	<invalid file name string address>
FNM	<file name is silly>
FSZ	<invalid fixed control header size>
FOP	<invalid file options>
FUL	<device had too much for lunch>
IAL	<invalid argument list>
IAN	<invalid index area number for key = !UL>/FAO=1
IDX	<index not initialized>
IFI	<invalid internal file identifier (IFI) value>
IMX	<invalid duplicate XAB or non-dense XAB at !XL>/FAO=1
IOP	<operation invalid for file organization or device>
IRC	<illegal record encountered; VBN or record number = !UL>/FAO=1
ISI	<invalid internal stream identifier (ISI) value>
KBF	<invalid key buffer>
KEY	<invalid record number key or key value>
KRF	<bad key for $GET/$FIND>
KSZ	<invalid key size for $GET/$FIND>
LAN	<invalid lowest-level-index area number for key = !UL>/FAO=1
TEMP1	<UNUSED>
LNE	<logical name translation count exceeded>
TEMP2	<UNUSED>
MRN	<invalid maximum record number or record number exceeds MRN>
MRS	<invalid maximum record size>
NAM	<invalid NAM block or NAM block not accessible>
NEF	<not positioned to EOF on $PUT (sequential organization only)>
TEMP3	<UNUSED>
NOD	<node name is really stupid>
NPK	<no primary key defined for indexed file>
ORD	<XABs not in correct order at !XL>/FAO=1
ORG	<invalid file organization value>
PBF	<invalid prompt buffer>
PLG	<error detected in file's prolog (reconstruct file)>
POS	<invalid key position (greater than MRS) for key = !UL>/FAO=1
TEMP4	<UNUSED>
QUO	<error in quoted string>
RAB	<wrong RAB or RAB is protected>
RAC	<use the right record access mode or don't do it at all>
RAT	<try the right record attributes instead>
RBF	<definitely not the right record buffer>
RFA	<wrong record's file address (RFA)>
RFM	<wrong record format>
RHB	<invalid record header buffer>
RLF	<invalid related NAM block>
ROP	<use the right record options instead>
RRV	<invalid RRV record encountered>
RVU	<error updating RRV's, some paths to data may be lost>
RSS	<invalid resultant string size>
RST	<invalid resultant string address>
RSZ	<wrong record size, pea-brain>
SEQ	<primary key out of sequence (SEQ access)>
SHR	<invalid file sharing (SHR) options>
SIZ	<invalid key size for key = !UL>/FAO=1
SQO	<operation not sequential (SQO set)>
TEMP5	<UNUSED>
SYN	<do you really know what file you're looking for?>
TRE	<error in index tree - it fell over>
TYP	<file is the wrong type for anything you want to do>
UBF	<invalid user buffer>
USZ	<invalid user buffer size>
VER	<error in version number>
XNF	<required XAB not found>
XAB	<invalid XAB or XAB not accessible at !XL>/FAO=1
ESL	<invalid expanded string length>
TEMP6	<UNUSED>
ENV	<support for RMS service call or feature not present>
PLV	<unsupported prolog version>
MBC	<invalid multi-block count>
RSL	<invalid resultant string length>
WLD	<wildcards are not trumped here>
NET	<remote node spat your operation out with a DAP code of !XL>/FAO=1
IBF	<illegal bucket format in VBN = !UL>/FAO=1
REF	<invalid key-of-reference = !UL>/FAO=1
IFL	<index bucket fill size larger than bucket size for key = !UL>/FAO=1
DFL	<data bucket fill size larger than bucket size for key = !UL>/FAO=1
KNM	<key name buffer not accessible for key = !UL>/FAO=1
IBK	<LAN bucket size not equal to IAN bucket size for key = !UL>/FAO=1
KSI	<index bucket will not hold two keys for key-of-reference = !UL>/FAO=1
LEX	<invalid $EXTEND for area !UL containing an unused extent>/FAO=1
SEG	<overlapping segments or segmented key must be string for key = !UL>/FAO=1
SNE	<file sharing not enabled>
SPE	<file sharing pagecount exceeded>
UPI	<UPI not set when sharing and BIO or BRO set>
ACS	<error in access control string>
STR	<user structure (FAB/RAB) became invalid during operation>
FTM	<network file transfer mode precludes operation (SQO set)>
GBC	<invalid global buffer count>
DEADLOCK	<you are in a deadlock>
EXENQLM	<exceeded enqueue quota>
JOP	<no journaling options available yet>
RUM	<recovery-unit handler called from incorrect access mode>
JNS	<operation not supported by RMS journaling>
NRU	<operation prohibited outside recovery-unit>
IFF	<invalid file attributes for requested file access>
!12545


	.FACILITY	JBC,4/SYSTEM
	.SEVERITY	ERROR
	.BASE		0
!294915

ILLDEVNAM	<Stupid device name>
UNSDEVTYP	<you have to specify device types>
ILLFILNAM	<stupid file name>
INVQUENAM	<no queue by that name>
NOPRIV		<you have been denied>
NOQUEHDR	<queue has no header??>
NOQUESPACE	<no space in system job queue file>
NOSUCHQUE	<silly queue name>
NOSUCHJOB	<silly job name>
NOOPENJOB	<no open job for requesting process>
REFERENCED	<existing references prevent deletion>
STARTED		<someone already started it>
INVITMCOD	<invalid item code or option code>
INVFUNCOD	<invalid function code>
EMPTYJOB	<no files specified in job request>
JOBQUEDIS	<system job queue manager took the bus today>
JOBABORT	<job was run over by a speeding bus>
ACMINVOP	<ACMINVOP>
INVPARLEN	<invalid parameter length>
TRMMBXUSE	<TRMMBXUSE>
MAXSYMEXD	<MAXSYMEXD>
SCTTABFUL	<SCTTABFUL>
CREPRCFAL	<CREPRCFAL>
SYMNTBFUL	<SYMNTBFUL>
NODSTQUE	<where did you say you wanted it to go?>
INVDSTQUE	<nothing like that there>
JOBDELETE	<job never had a chance>
NORESTART	<you can't restart that job>
JOBREQUEUE	<job given another chance>
QUERESET	<queue was reset because your job made it die>
SYSFAIL		<system failed because of your job>
EXECUTING	<job executing on queue prevents requested operation>
INVMSGBUF	<invalid message buffer>
MISREQPAR	<missing required parameter>
INVPARVAL	<stupid parameter value>
INCQUETYP	<inconsistent queue type>
INCDSTQUE	<inconsistent destination queue type>
JOBQUEENA	<system job queue manager is already running away>
NOTASSIGN	<queue is unsigned>
INCOMPLETE	<previous incomplete operation prevents execution>
INVCHANAM	<invalid characteristic name>
INVFORNAM	<stupid form name>
NOSUCHCHAR	<no such characteristic>
NOSUCHFORM	<there were never any forms like that>
DUPFORM		<cloned form number>
INCFORMPAR	<inconsistent form parameters>
NOSUCHFILE	<can't find it, where is it?>
DELACCESS	<file protection does not allow delete access>
!295291
! add 81 (80?)

	.BASE	128

ACCDISERR	<accounting disabled due to file errors>
ALLOCMEM	<error allocating virtual memory>
COMREMJBC	<error communicating with another job controller>
INVBLOCK	<invalid operation on queue block !UL>
INVMSG		<invalid mailbox message received>
NEWQUEUE	<new system job queue file !AS created>
OPEJBCMBX	<error opening job controller mailbox>
PRCREAT		<process died before I could let you kill it>
QUEFORMAT	<system job queue file has invalid format>
REAJBCMBX	<error reading job controller mailbox>
REQUEST		<service required on queue !AC for job !AC user !AD!/!AF>
SETIMR		<error setting timer>
SYMCREPRC	<error creating symbiont process for !AS>
SYMDEL		<unexpected symbiont process termination>
WRIRSPMSG	<error writing system service response message>
WRISMBMBX	<error writing symbiont mailbox>
NFY_COMPLETE	<!AC (!AC Airlines, Flight !UL) landed>
NFY_CURRENT	<!AC (!AC Airlines, Flight !UL) taking off on runway !AC>
NFY_HOLD	<!AC (!AC Airlines, Flight !UL) in a holding pattern>
NFY_PENDING	<!AC (!AC Airlines, Flight !UL) waiting for takeoff>
NFY_TIMER	<!AC (!AC Airlines, Flight !UL) holding until !17%D>
STRUCT_LEVEL	<system job queue file has incompatible structure level of !XW>
DIAGNOSTIC	<!AS>
DIAG_TEXT	<diagnostic (!UL): !AS !XL !XL>
DIAG_DATA	<diagnostic (!UL): !XL !XL !XL !XL>
!296131


	.END
107.18All Messages come from NONAME!!??!?NANUCK::SSMITHSheldon Smith @MPOFri Mar 28 1986 15:1713
	Gawd, that's absurd!  I *love* it!  
        
        I haven't hacked MESSAGEs before, so can somebody help me?  I got
        the .MSG file, got it into .EXE format, did a 
                             $ SET MESSAGE APRILFOOL
        to set it up *just* for myself and now I've got the messages.
        Unfortunately, they all come from that wonderful utility, NONAME.

        I've got: %NONAME-I-THIS, %NONAME-W-THAT, and %NONAME-E-THE_OTHER,
        with the appropriate text coming just fine, but all facility names
        have been lost. 

        What am I doing wrong, or what haven't I done yet?
107.19check .FACILITY in your fileBEECH::ECKERTJerry EckertSun Mar 30 1986 04:2816
    re: .18
    
    I can't reproduce your problem.  I extracted .17 to a file named
    APRILFOOL.MSG, edited out Jym's note, and issued the following
    DCL commands:
    
    	$ MESSAGE APRILFOOL
    	$ LINK APRILFOOL	! ignore 'no transfer address' warning
    	$ SET MESSAGE APRILFOOL
    
    One thing you might check is that the .FACILITY directive
    at the beginning of your file is the same as the original:
    
    	.FACILITY	SHR,0/PREFIX=SHR/SHARED/SYSTEM
    
    							- Jerry
107.20.FACILITY and .BASENAAD::BLASERPeter BlaserSun Mar 30 1986 16:2617
    I disagree with 107.19, I believe it should be:
    
    	.FACILITY	SYSTEM,0/PREFIX=SS$_/SHARED/SYSTEM
    
    and also the .BASE directive is needed before SS$_NORMAL, SS$_ACCVIO,
    and a couple others so that the messages will have the same values
    as the existing system messages.  The best course of action would
    be to find the original source and merge it with the april fool
    source, since different VMS versions may have messages added or
    deleted.
    
    .BASE 0 		!Before SS$_NORMAL
    .BASE 2		!Before SS$_ACCVIO

    I'm sorry if I made a project of it.  I realize it is only to play
    a trick.  Perhaps you might try "$ set command/delete=logout" instead?
    :-}
107.21Still don't get images' FACILITY names.NANUCK::SSMITHSheldon Smith @MPOTue Apr 01 1986 05:2746
< Note 107.19 by BEECH::ECKERT "Jerry Eckert" >
                       -< check .FACILITY in your file >-

>   I can't reproduce your problem.  I extracted .17 to a file named
>   APRILFOOL.MSG, edited out Jym's note, and issued the following
>   DCL commands:
>
>   	$ MESSAGE APRILFOOL
>   	$ LINK APRILFOOL	! ignore 'no transfer address' warning
>   	$ SET MESSAGE APRILFOOL
>
>   One thing you might check is that the .FACILITY directive
>   at the beginning of your file is the same as the original:
>
>   	.FACILITY	SHR,0/PREFIX=SHR/SHARED/SYSTEM

        That's EXACTLY what I did before.  I did it again just to make
        sure.  What message do you get if you try to PURGE with no files
        to purge or DIRECTORY of non-existent directory?  Do your messages
        start %PURGE- and %DIRECT- or do you get %NONAME-?

        Do you need any special privileges, or does it need to be
        installed?

< Note 107.20 by NAAD::BLASER "Peter Blaser" >
                            -< .FACILITY and .BASE >-

>   I disagree with 107.19, I believe it should be:
>
>   	.FACILITY	SYSTEM,0/PREFIX=SS$_/SHARED/SYSTEM

        I tried this as well.  I didn't play with the .BASE directives,
        but only because the message is correct EXCEPT for the Facility
        name from the executable image.

>   I'm sorry if I made a project of it.  I realize it is only to play
>   a trick.

        Of course it's only to play a trick.  However hacking like this
        allows us to discover bigger and better things, like say, perhaps
        translating the real message file into a foreign language.  (I
        have no intention of actually doing so, but it sure *sounds* good.)

        It's beyond a trick now.  It's curiosity, plain and simple.

        Really puzzled now...
107.22My April FoolSWIFT::PITTTony Pitt, UK CS, Basingstoke, EnglandThu Apr 03 1986 12:1216
    I set up an April fool that printed
    
    	%SYSTEM-F-APRLFL, April Fool
    
    every other time you did a directory command!  The logical name
    DIRECTORY was set to point to a program that printed the above and
    then redefined the logical name pointing to another program.  The
    second program pointed the logical name to Sys$SYstem:directory,
    did a CLI$GET_VALUE to get the whole command line, spawned the command,
    and then pointed the logical name back to the first program.  The
    logical name was in the process table, but I set it off by defining
    it in the group table!
    
    It took some time for people to get that one cleared up!
    
    T
107.23good spur of the moment gag...WHOARU::WONGFri Apr 04 1986 00:295
    Someone over here sent everyone to DISK$APRILFOOL:[whatever] upon
    logging in (the disk naturally didn't exist). Took someone of our
    top engineers awhile to figure out what to do. The command also
    set the messages to the aprilfool file.
    
107.24Curious too!PAUPER::AUGERIMike AugeriFri Apr 11 1986 17:238
RE: .21

I get the same thing, that is, all messages come from facility %NONAME.
Is there a way to get the proper facility name?  Does the file have to be
installed system-wide?  Do you need special privs to get the correct
facility name?  Curious too!

	Mike
107.25It's now the default...OZONE::CRAIGAre we having fun yet?Mon Apr 13 1987 14:028
    I'm also getting the %NONAME facility message...
    
    Installed APRILFOOL.EXE just for April 1st, and then when I deinstalled
    it the next day, got about 3 or 4 requests to put it back on!  Seems
    people enjoyed the new messages so much they were deliberately inducing
    errors to see what the system would say.  So, our default system
    message error file is now APRILFOOL.EXE!  (Only one user complained
    and wanted his old (boring) messages...)
107.26Fiche has a extra facilities at the top.FROST::HARRIMANDialogue...DuologueMon Apr 13 1987 16:168
    
    I was looking at the fiche for the conglomeration of SYSMSG.MSG
    and I noticed at the beginning page there are a bunch of .FACILITY
    statements (with no messages attached). Maybe, just maybe, is this
    what makes %SYSTEM instead of %NONAME? Perchance someone out there
    could enlighten us.
    
    /pjh
107.27much less boringPHENIX::SMITHWilliam P.N. (WOOKIE::) SmithMon Apr 13 1987 16:3910
    re: .25
    
    	I've been using (privately) aprilfool.exe since I brought it
    up last year some time.  Much more interesting messages, and just
    about as informative as the standard ones.  The problem is remembering
    ti turn it off and try again before I report a "remote system doesn't
    like your face" errors... :+)
    
    Willie
    
107.28I'll sayFROST::HARRIMANDialogue...DuologueMon Apr 13 1987 19:178
    Willie, thanks for the (indirect) compliment. 
    Now, has anyone been more imaginative and hacked it up further?
    I had added about 350 messages before last year, this year I got
    it up to 4.4 and fixed the misplaced messages (thanks to that nifty
    tool SHMESSA from Gilbert's tool factory) but I am always looking
    for more stuff.
    
    /pjh
107.29Respects for the dear departedCLT::TALCOTTThu Nov 05 1987 02:219
    
    Lest it be overlooked, for the record the original author/perpetrator
    was Al Lehotsky. His last job at DEC before leaving for Apollo some
    years ago was Project Leader of the Bliss compiler. He had a good
    sense of hu}or. I've had the sources to Aprilfool since he left,
    but since they've been posted here that's of little consequence
    now.
    
    						Trace