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Conference 7.286::star_trek

Title:STAR TREK
Notice:Welcome to STAR TREK! Please read Topic 1 before noting here.
Moderator:DECCXX::WIBECAN
Created:Mon Feb 10 1986
Last Modified:Thu Jun 05 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1104
Total number of notes:41750

62.0. "STAR TREK Jokes" by NY1MM::BONNELL (Jersey Girl) Thu Apr 03 1986 20:37

T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name		DateLines
62.1The Big "E" vs The Death StarTHEBAY::MTHOMASopen mouth, stick foot in mouth, ...Sat May 03 1986 21:5592
62.3My work haunts me33833::BROWNMon May 19 1986 14:4522
62.4Wrong I thinkDASHER::TIMPSONFacinatingMon May 19 1986 15:514
62.5NOMAD the powerfulATLAST::SESSIONSCaptain VideoThu May 22 1986 14:3412
62.6plants? did I say plants? I meant planets.ATLAST::SESSIONSCaptain VideoThu May 22 1986 14:361
62.7Diet CokeATLAST::BROWNTue May 27 1986 14:0811
62.8Check againDASHER::TIMPSONFascinating!Tue May 27 1986 16:586
62.9EDEN::KLAESWed May 28 1986 14:309
62.10MAASSG::LARUEJeff LaRue - MAA Senior Network ConsultantWed May 28 1986 23:359
62.11AND NOW THE ANSWERS TO THOSE BURNING JOKES....EDEN::KLAESFri May 30 1986 20:0818
62.12MAASSG::LARUEJeff LaRue - MAA Senior Network ConsultantSat May 31 1986 15:4812
62.14TAXI!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Wed Jun 04 1986 18:345
62.16A Canticle for Leibowitz 8^)}COMET2::TIMPSONFascinating!Thu Jun 05 1986 00:360
62.17Kirk!ENGGSG::FLISThu Jun 05 1986 08:458
62.27ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? NEVER!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Mon Jun 16 1986 18:2511
62.28THE KLINGONS MADE ME SAY IT!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Thu Jun 26 1986 19:577
62.30PERMISSION TO JOKE DENIED!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Fri Jun 27 1986 11:069
62.31YOU'VE GOT TO STOP THEM, JIM, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATEE!EEDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Fri Jun 27 1986 11:139
62.35YOUR AGONIZER, PLEASE.EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Mon Jun 30 1986 20:3014
62.36THEY ACT LIKE A VIRUS!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Tue Jul 01 1986 12:3710
62.37NEAT! SWEET! PETITE!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Tue Jul 01 1986 15:318
62.38Khan's wardrobe provided by...PAUPER::EPSTEINBruce EpsteinWed Jul 02 1986 10:1111
62.39AAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!! Ouwch!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Wed Jul 02 1986 14:5613
62.40True confessionsBOEBNR::BOEBINGERSat Jul 05 1986 00:4833
62.41I CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!EDEN::KLAESIt obstructs my view of Venus!Mon Jul 07 1986 18:3224
62.44Another awful joke...LISZT::WESTGATEHired HackerThu Jul 24 1986 13:0013
62.46how'd they get to Bedrock?CACHE::MARSHALLbeware the fractal dragonThu Jul 24 1986 18:425
62.48REVENGE!EDEN::KLAESTime to make the doughnuts!Fri Jul 25 1986 10:087
62.54Seen on a tee shirtCEO03::SESSIONSWelcome to the real world.Wed Sep 24 1986 11:323
62.55Seen on a planetEDEN::KLAESForever on Petroleum.Wed Sep 24 1986 13:534
62.56PHASER REVIEWEDEN::KLAESNobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!Wed Feb 04 1987 12:4430
62.62FROM THE HOME OFFICE...EDEN::KLAESNobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!Fri Feb 13 1987 09:4712
62.63... in Scotsdale Arizona.LA780::GOLDSMITHMy computers, audio? Only Digital!Fri Feb 13 1987 13:305
62.65Only a phase?RDGE28::HAYESIan Hayes, DTN 830 ext 4992Mon Feb 16 1987 08:126
62.66IT'S SO USELESS!EDEN::KLAESNobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!Mon Feb 16 1987 12:3512
62.69REDJAK! BLUEJAK! GREENJAK!EDEN::KLAESFleeing the Cylon Tyranny.Tue Feb 24 1987 12:334
62.70*CUJO::WESTOn a clear disk you can seek foreverTue Feb 24 1987 18:386
62.78oops, I think I spelled Kling gones wrongBAGELS::TETRAULTHappy CommuningThu May 21 1987 15:4418
62.85I have a terminal to tend to; Au Revoir.BAGELS::TETRAULTHappy CommuningFri May 22 1987 09:5810
62.86You don't mean...WILVAX::WILLOWSIDICFri May 22 1987 10:0710
62.87Plenty of tribble for all!EDEN::KLAESThe Universe is safe.Fri May 22 1987 11:3012
62.88This is it! THE ANSWERBAGELS::TETRAULTHappy CommuningWed May 27 1987 11:5524
62.89RE 62.88EDEN::KLAESThe Universe is safe.Wed May 27 1987 12:415
62.90Whew!RDGE00::HAYESIan Hayes, DTN 830 ext 4992Wed May 27 1987 12:566
62.91She Simply Can Not Believe Her EarsBAGELS::TETRAULTHappy CommuningThu May 28 1987 12:1111
62.93Get those fuzzy miserable things...EDEN::KLAESThe Universe is safe.Thu May 28 1987 15:4017
62.94When the Klingons are *really* offensive...DICKNS::KLAESAngels in the Architecture.Fri Oct 02 1987 11:0283
62.95STARTREK tunrs up in the strangest of placesWINERY::THOMASThe Code WarriorThu Dec 10 1987 01:322
62.96:-)>FYRCAT::WILLOWSBeats the DICKNS outta me...Sun Jan 24 1988 00:1111
62.97Triple ;-)> ;-)> ;-)> !FYRCAT::WILLOWSYeah... outside... with pitchforks...Sun Jan 24 1988 00:355
62.98FYRCAT::WILLOWSThe Megalomaniacal TrekologistSun Jan 24 1988 00:414
62.99FYRCAT::WILLOWSThe Megalomaniacal TrekologistSun Jan 24 1988 01:3310
62.100They say I *could* lead a normal life...FYRCAT::WILLOWSIt's okay, I'm cured. I'll shut up now.Sun Jan 24 1988 02:005
62.101:-)> is now :-)FYRCAT::WILLOWSWhat would you have me say Doctor?Mon Feb 08 1988 09:213
62.102Oh yeah? ;-)FYRCAT::WILLOWSAn ugly bag of mostly water.Thu Mar 17 1988 07:1521
62.103You got me there -- guilty as charged... :-)SSDEVO::OAKEYEver been UNDER an iced-over lake?Thu Mar 17 1988 12:380
62.104Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's JohnnyGAOV11::MAXPROG6If you can't beat 'em .. join 'emMon Jun 20 1988 09:2915
62.105Kind of rude, but...DELNI::HALLOWELLWed Jul 06 1988 19:434
62.106ASHBY::IRONSOne day the bottom will drop out.Thu Jul 07 1988 12:543
62.107WFOV11::SLEZINGERMon Aug 22 1988 20:0519
62.108Stolen from UsenetTALLIS::WESTGATETake my Worf... PleaseTue Dec 20 1988 11:4658
62.109Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not GE!MTWAIN::KLAESSaturn by 1970Wed Dec 21 1988 13:4639
62.110Inquiring Minds Want to Know IIDISCVR::SORRELLSMOOD CODE: Rotary AdjustableWed Jan 04 1989 12:3845
62.111He'z bin hypmotized, Jim!RENOIR::KLAESN = R*fgfpneflfifaLMon Jun 26 1989 17:3537
62.112DASXPS::WILLOWSGenius is pain.Thu Jul 27 1989 12:5436
62.113From USENET: Mirror, Mirror: The Next GenerationMIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorThu Nov 09 1989 14:15250
62.114mmhh, YES!RECAP::SEAGLEKirk to Enterprise...Spock?...Fri Nov 10 1989 23:0012
62.115Parody Mount Press Release: #175 - Nightmare On the EnterpriseMIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorThu Apr 26 1990 05:24834
62.116Part 2 of MIRROR, MIRROR: THE NEXT GENERATIONMIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorMon Apr 30 1990 15:14160
62.117Part 1: Galactica and EnterpriseMIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorMon Apr 30 1990 19:14721
62.118Part 2: G & EMIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorMon Apr 30 1990 19:16591
62.119Part 3: G & EMIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorMon Apr 30 1990 19:18476
62.120PFLOYD::ROTHBERGThe Water Buffalo Grand PoobahTue May 01 1990 18:257
62.121BOSOX::WILLOWSIf I could wave my magic wand...Wed Oct 03 1990 16:5069
62.122DECWIN::FISHERI like my species the way it is" "A narrow view...Wed Oct 03 1990 17:173
62.123RE 62.121ADVAX::KLAESAll the Universe, or nothing!Wed Oct 03 1990 20:4311
62.124Re: .123BOSOX::WILLOWSIf I could wave my magic wand...Thu Oct 04 1990 11:486
62.125Re: .122 All together, now....WOOK::LEEWook... Like 'Book' with a 'W'Mon Oct 08 1990 18:155
62.126BOSOX::WILLOWSIf I could wave my magic wand...Tue Oct 09 1990 19:25159
62.127VAXtrek humor.OTOO01::PONDWed Oct 10 1990 12:02203
62.128Toon Trek, The Next Generation (Part 1)MIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorSat Oct 20 1990 21:12490
62.129Toon Trek, The Next Generation (Part 2)MIPSBX::thomasThe Code WarriorSat Oct 20 1990 21:13449
62.130"In days of old, when Klingons were bold..."LUDWIG::PHILLIPSMusic of the spheres.Wed Nov 07 1990 16:0655
62.131I like the klingon version better >;-)SA1794::CHARBONNDbut it was a _clean_ missThu Nov 08 1990 12:362
62.132HYSTER::ROBINSON_JFri Nov 09 1990 15:243
62.133Johnny Carson about Star TrekJAMESB::BABINHow's my typing? Call 1-800-ASDFJKL;Fri Jan 04 1991 18:5019
62.134Captain, my targ ate my homework....LUDWIG::PHILLIPSMusic of the spheres.Mon Jan 14 1991 13:3057
62.135...and a few bumper stickers!LUDWIG::PHILLIPSMusic of the spheres.Mon Jan 14 1991 13:3514
62.136Joke - Next Week on Star TrekTFH::BAUERThu Mar 07 1991 11:4614
62.137CUPMK::ROBINSONThu Mar 07 1991 12:255
62.138RE .136 Was that supposed to be funny?ACETEK::TIMPSONPursuing an untamed OrnithoidThu Mar 07 1991 16:520
62.139Voyage to 1991TFH::BAUERMon Mar 11 1991 11:1017
62.140JAMESB::BABINHOW'S MY TYPING? Call 1-800-ALLTYPOMon Mar 11 1991 17:2221
62.141Yet another ST parodyROGER::GAUDETNothing unreal existsFri Apr 19 1991 17:46328
62.142ST:TNG meet the Simpsons.49ER::NGUYENAnyone wanna see setting #2?Fri Apr 19 1991 19:2597
62.143BOSOX::WILLOWSYou got the left one baby, uh-huhMon Jun 10 1991 15:2015
62.144:-)BOSOX::WILLOWSYou got the left one baby, uh-huhTue Jun 18 1991 19:48109
62.145Found this in SF notes K.C.SELL3::FAHELAmalthea Celebras/Silver UnicornWed Aug 14 1991 19:1485
62.146CSC32::DUBOISSister of SapphoThu Aug 22 1991 23:066
62.147:-)CGOOA::HALLIDAYsun shines through the rainSat Aug 24 1991 00:575
62.148Not officers only.....SALEM::COOPER_GEIS Salem N.HMon Aug 26 1991 16:2211
62.149momma said knock Kirk out...:-)KAOFS::R_HARPERThis space unavailable, Digital has it nowTue Sep 24 1991 17:296
62.150LL T'Pau ?LUNER::BROOKSUnforgettable ... in every way...Tue Oct 08 1991 19:525
62.151SHALOT::CHENAUSKYKIM CHENAUSKYWed Oct 09 1991 22:474
62.152Mirror, Mirror: TNG -- "Yesterday's Empire"NAC::THOMASThe Code WarriorMon Oct 21 1991 00:29797
62.153Thanks for the weird -- but fun -- read !AKOCOA::HILLMon Oct 21 1991 02:107
62.154I luv it!!!!NYTP07::LAMMon Oct 21 1991 11:354
62.155You make the call ... ST fan or carbuff ?ROGER::GAUDETBecause the Earth is 2/3 waterWed Nov 06 1991 16:3322
62.156We have one!CSLALL::WILLOWSConfusion will be my epitaph...Wed Nov 06 1991 18:454
62.157<palm_of_hand_to_forehead> ... I coulda had a V-8! :-)ROGER::GAUDETBecause the Earth is 2/3 waterWed Nov 06 1991 20:228
62.158"Hmmm, carbon unit humor - illogical!"LUDWIG::PHILLIPSMusic of the spheres.Thu Nov 07 1991 10:1115
62.159college stickersELWOOD::BABINHOW'S MY TYPING? Call 1-800-ALLTYPOThu Nov 07 1991 10:2812
62.160More college stickersASDG::ANDERSONThu Nov 07 1991 10:594
62.161GAMGEE::ROBRSailing the seas of cheeze...Thu Nov 07 1991 15:535
62.162Then STOMP!PHLACT::QUINNUh, kill men, rape women, steal sheep?Fri Nov 08 1991 19:545
62.163moreSHAOLN::DENSMOREDirty deeds &amp; they're done dirt cheapTue Nov 12 1991 10:075
62.164CSLALL::WILLOWSConfusion will be my epitaph...Tue Nov 19 1991 16:119
62.165A bit late for New Year's Eve....CSLALL::WILLOWSConfusion will be my epitaph...Thu Jan 02 1992 13:2196
62.166re: -1LACV01::BUCHANANGreetings from the Suncrime StateThu Jan 02 1992 13:563
62.167CSLALL::WILLOWSConfusion will be my epitaph...Thu Jan 02 1992 14:074
62.168CIVIC::FAHELAmalthea Celebras/Silver UnicornThu Jan 02 1992 14:415
62.169How about this.BOOKS::ANGELONEFailure: line of least persistence.Mon Jan 06 1992 09:429
62.170Grimmy & KirkCIVIC::FAHELAmalthea Celebras/Silver UnicornWed Jan 08 1992 11:2710
62.171Grimm, Lieutenant J.G.....LUDWIG::PHILLIPSMusic of the spheres.Wed Jan 08 1992 12:3410
62.172Don't blame me for this one!CSLALL::WILLOWSGirls just want to have funds...Tue Apr 21 1992 19:2824
62.173A Modern Klingon GeneralMAST::WESTGATESave the Whales, Collect the whole setThu Apr 30 1992 12:2020
62.174Who can we get to sing it, I wonder?STRATA::PHILLIPSMusic of the spheres.Thu May 07 1992 14:085
62.175A monk, a clone, and a Ferengi ?HEFTY::CHARBONNDin deepest dreams the gypsy fliesMon Sep 14 1992 08:424
62.176DoughhhhhhhhhhPKHUB2::BROOKSWe look for things that make us go.Mon Mar 01 1993 22:2514
62.177This about covers the whole process.... ;^)STRATA::PHILLIPSMusic of the spheres.Sat Mar 20 1993 13:1044
62.178Fifty Ways to Kill an EnsignNETRIX::thomasThe Code WarriorFri Apr 16 1993 22:5350
62.179Things that never happen on STVOYAGR::ROBINSONThe CaptainMon Jun 14 1993 20:4564
62.180DELNI::OTAMon Jun 14 1993 21:0914
62.181Another...QUINCE::MADDENPatrick MaddenTue Jun 15 1993 18:212
62.182This never happens #57DPDMAI::MILLERRIlluminatus Electric Co.Tue Jun 15 1993 18:253
62.183TNPUBS::FORTENWelcome to Jamaica Mon and have a nice dayTue Jun 15 1993 19:065
62.184BOLSA::SKELLY_JOTue Jun 15 1993 23:3214
62.185KDX200::ROBRMaybe you'll figure it out somedayWed Jun 16 1993 20:1611
62.186TNPUBS::FORTENWelcome to Jamaica Mon and have a nice dayWed Jun 16 1993 20:309
62.187SOLVIT::FLIScome to me...Thu Jun 17 1993 15:515
62.188E::EVANSThu Jun 17 1993 18:286
62.189Couldn't resistGAUSS::REITHJim 3D::Reith MLO1-2/c37 223-2021Thu Jun 17 1993 18:331
62.190Confessions of a TrekkieVOYAGR::ROBINSONThe CaptainFri Jun 18 1993 15:0188
62.191Another thing that never happensACESMK::CHELSEAMostly harmless.Fri Jun 18 1993 19:072
62.192TroiTOOK::CALLANDERMCC = My Constant CompanionFri Jun 18 1993 19:141
62.193TLE::TOKLAS::FELDMANOpportunities are our FutureFri Jun 18 1993 20:465
62.194ACESMK::CHELSEAMostly harmless.Fri Jun 18 1993 20:591
62.195Not universalTNPUBS::JONGSteveSat Jun 19 1993 00:133
62.196SPECXN::WITHERSBob WithersSat Jun 19 1993 16:4013
62.197KDX200::ROBRMaybe you'll figure it out somedaySun Jun 20 1993 17:113
62.198Something That will probably NEVER happen!KYOA::KOCHIt never hurts to ask...Tue Jun 29 1993 17:522
62.199Cliff hanger episodeAIMT::PETERSBe nice or be dog foodTue Jun 29 1993 17:573
62.200How do you linefeed on a PC?LACV01::MCCARTNEYDon't I wish!Mon Jul 19 1993 13:3219
62.201ST:TNG promoMILKWY::ROBINSONThe CaptainWed Jul 21 1993 13:2141
62.202Syndicated commercialsKAOOA::HASIBEDERGood tea, nice houseWed Jul 21 1993 14:5411
62.203Fun things to do on the EnterpriseSANDZ::ROBINSONThe CaptainWed Jul 21 1993 17:4418
62.204Dougghhhhhh!PKHUB2::BROOKSVedek Bareil, ordinary average KaiWed Mar 16 1994 19:4510
62.205You must have a long drive to work :-)ROGER::GAUDETBecause the Earth is 2/3 waterThu Mar 17 1994 16:319
62.207Star Trek humorCOMET::CAMERON_SFri Jun 10 1994 03:299
62.208Ouch!CSOA1::HOLLANDThe happiness of pursuitFri Jun 10 1994 12:368
62.209ST:TNG - "The Lost Episodes"WRKSYS::NISHIMOTOWed Jun 22 1994 22:26129
62.21015 minute install!?MIMS::MCFARLAND_Dm o o n...that spells turbo 3Thu Jun 23 1994 16:107
62.211Just how many times have you seen bouncing cards?STRATA::MMURRAYHey Frank, let me borrow your keys.Fri Jun 24 1994 11:0010
62.212I wonder if they own Enterprise rent-a-carPKHUB2::BROOKSPhasers don't kill, people killMon Nov 28 1994 22:2216
62.213SKYLAB::FISHERIndecision is the key to flexibility!Tue Nov 29 1994 15:154
62.214jokePROXY::HOLLISTue Nov 29 1994 18:2129
62.215But you knew that, didn't you....SMURF::PETERTrigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertaintyTue Nov 29 1994 19:046
62.216EPS::RODERICKI saw Elvis kissing Santa Claus.Thu Dec 22 1994 11:59142
62.217KDX200::ROBRDrinks for all my friends...Thu Dec 22 1994 14:383
62.218SAPPHO::DUBOISHONK if you've slept w/Cmdr Riker!Thu Dec 29 1994 18:253
62.219just ask any KlingonCSSREG::BROWNCommon Sense Isn'tFri Oct 13 1995 16:265
62.220I gotta kick out if this...YIELD::MMURRAYRock climbing, Joel, Rock climbing.Thu Mar 07 1996 16:38115
62.221KERNEL::FIDDLERMFri Mar 08 1996 06:555
62.222Your Captain may be a redneck if..BIGQ::BERNIERThu Jun 27 1996 08:3854
62.223Things you'll never see....BIGQ::BERNIERThu Jun 27 1996 08:4256