Conference noted::equitation

    Yes, I know exactly what you mean!  That's why I'm so happy that I have
    a place large enough to keep my horses at home.  When I boarded, this
    was the *most* frustrating thing.  I would get to the stable really
    wanting to just work my horse and get away from everything else, and
    then the chorus would begin.  Seems like nobody can keep quiet when
    they see someone schooling a horse!  And it's difficult not answering
    them.  I was brought up to be polite, and it's not in me to tell these
    folks to take a hike!  And I've had horses for years, trained with a
    lot of different people, and had a lot of different types of horses. 
    What works with one is disaster with another.  And it's impossible to
    explain one's entire philosophy of horse training to every "back seat
    rider".
    
    How about wearing "walkman"style earphones under your helmet, not
    necessarily attached to a walkman.  Maybe they'll think you just can't
    hear them if you ignore comments!

    
    
    Shoot.  Why bother with the head phones.  Why not just tune them out
    and ignore them.  Or politely say 'Thanks for sharing' and continue.
    
    Or go off in some corner of the pasture and work your horse down either
    by riding or by lunging.
    
    You can learn to just ignore, ignore, ignore.

    Man oh Man, can I relate to this!!!  We have one of those at our barn
    who makes EVERYONE crazy.  For the most part everyone minds their own
    business but one particular person.  I mean this one has a comment on
    everything from wormers to saddles, comments about other peoples vets,
    farriers, what kind of truck they drive, advice on trailers, etc, etc.
    and knows JACKS*H^ about any of the above.  
    
    I go out of my way to ride at a different time in a different state
    under an assumed name!  Sometimes I think that this person can't
    possibly be this obnoxious and must really be trying to help and then
    other times I think not...
    
    I am very easy going and I have had to fling myself in my stall and
    cover my mouth on several occasions.  I just could never imagine
    offering advice to someone who didn't ask.
    
    Karen

    I must admit I can not take too much critisisim, and I really hate it 
    when people try and tell you what to do when you already know what to
    do from having countless lessons from various professionals!
    
    I am going to have to move my horse to another yard and I am really not
    looking forward to it because for all the time I have had my horse I
    have been lucky enough to have found somewhere were my sister and I
    have the whole run of the place as if it was ours and I have in the
    past (When I first got William when he was a baby) told one woman to 
    get lost although not too politely! because she told me that he had
    poverty lines! Well as you can imagin I was fuming as a young horse
    just over from Ireland would be looking a bit poor.
    
    I could not handle it anymore all the comments like "William is looking
    too thin, you should try feeding him more hay"!!! I know my horse and 
    being a youngster and as it happens. I was having lessons off a
    proffesional once a week who advised me on his feeding.
    
    Its sometimes hard to bite your tongue and just ignor anything anyone
    says but sometimes people just dont know how much it can hurt.

    The feeling that I get from the replies is that advice is not wanted.
    The thing is, that for some people, advice is wanted. Sometimes a
    person(me) may be doing something wrong (sitting too far forward) and I
    don't realize it. Someone says "gee, you look a bit too forward", and
    then I might say, "yeh, you're right", and readjust myself.
    
    So the key to this is letting the person who's "advising" you, know
    that you're not interested in their comments. Politely that is. (Maybe
    something like, "my horse doesn't respond like that...").  If after
    awhile, that person dosn't seem to understand that you are giving them
    the cold shoulder, be more firm.
    
    There are alot of people out there who mean well but don't realize that
    you're not interested in their comments. So just be polite and inform
    them that you know how to deal with the situation.
    
    For the other people (the ones you can't stand), just tell them where
    to go.
    				Cindy
                                                           

    
    
    	I just *had* to reply to this one...:-)
    
    	Let's see, The first barn I had my horse at was *awful*  I couldn't
    	or my horses couldn't get away with taking a S*&% without them
    	commenting and what really bothered me was that they *really* new
    	*nothing* about horses!  They would tell me what wormer *they* wanted
    	me to use, what Vet, Ferrier and if I used different, they were
    	right there watching every damn step!  And god when it came time
    	for spring shot's forget it!!!!  Needless to say I moved...
    
    	Now I'm at the same barn Karen is at and boy can I relate to her!
    	Both of us have to calm each other down after this woman starts
    	opening her big mouth!  I have never met a person who can say with a
    	straight face and be *serious* that they know *everything* about
    	horses!  Like Karen said this woman has to comment on *everthing*
    	you do, from cleaning and tacking up your horse to the damn color
    	of your underwear!  (well not that bad but I wouldn't be surprised
    	if she put in her 2 cents on that either!)  One of these days I
    	think the whole barn may give this woman *their* 2 cents worth on
    	her and training abilities!  Thank god in the few months I will
    	be moving my baby to our new house!  But to tell you the truth
    	sometimes this woman just cracks me right up with what comes out
    	of her mouth and it's hard not to just start screaming in laughter
    	right in her face.  :-) :-)  

    That's why I'm so glad I was able to move my guy home.
    "You should ride him english instead of western.  You
    Don't ride him enough, you lunge too much, why that bit, why
    are you wearing those kind of boots, pants,....blah, blah
    blah" 
    At home I can ride how I want, in what I want, when I want
    without the "Know-it-all's" making me dread going to see/ride
    my own horse.
    
    L- 

    
    
    I had 'help' like this at a barn I was at. 
    
    I finally said, "Thank you for sharing your information.  But I am 
    trying to concentrate right now.  Please don't talk to me while I am 
    trying to work because it breaks my concentration.  I'll be happy to 
    ask for help from you just as soon as I need it."
    
    It worked for a while.  Then I had to say "Do you remember when I told
    you I would ask for your help when I needed it?  PLEASE DON'T BOTHER ME
    RIGHT NOW". (while I had my face about 3 inches from hers).  She got 
    insulted and didn't speak to me for weeks.  So others started doing the 
    same thing.  We were lucky that she got so insulted.  ;-)
    
    Mary Jo

    
    
    	I never give advise that wasn't asked for. But, have
    	you ever had some one who thinks that you should tell the
    	person what there doing wrong.. Only because they think 
    	your smart and should share your knowledge?
    
    	Ie..
    
    	Me watching someone work out and I say to my friend
    	she should be bending more (mostly because I want her
    	to see what the person is doing incorrectly so that she
    	knows what it looks like)..  Then she goes up to the person
    	and say well my teacher just told me that your doing this
    	wrong..
    	
    	Ohh.. I could just twattle her.
                                       

    I knew Zina wouldn't be able to resist this one!  It is true though
    when you have a horse and you can't keep it at home you have to "live"
    with some "Back Seat Riders" (I love that!).  You guys are all more
    assertive than I am.
    
    I have been outright rude and this boob doesn't get the picture.  For
    instance I was riding a couple of weeks ago.  I had gotten to the barn
    straight from work earlier than usual.  I change my slacks and shoes
    but I kept on a scoop neck jersey and my earrings, necklace, bow, etc.
    and just put on my jeans and boots.   It was a gorgeous day and we have
    a huge, I mean huge arena and I had just finished riding and I didn't
    realize the "commentator" was grooming to ride.  I was leading my horse
    into the barn and get "Oh aren't you dressed up to ride"?  I reply that
    I have come straight from work and only changed my slacks and shoes. 
    "Oh, but tell me doesn't that necklace bother you when you ride?"  It
    ticked me right off and I said NO, DOES IT BOTHER YOU????   Which
    really means:
    
      YOUR HORSE IS UNCOMFORTABLE AND YOUR NECKLACE WAS BOUNCING AROUND...
    
    The list goes on and on...
    
    Karen
    
    
    

    My problem is 1) I'm too sensitive and 2) I also wasn't very
    experienced with horses back then.  
    My horse became injured and the vet said no turnout for six
    weeks, with daily sweating of the leg.  I was so diligent with
    his care, that the vet even praised me.  However, I came to the
    barn to find one of the other horseowners had turned my horse out
    into the round pen because she felt "sorry" for him and that I was
    mean letting him stand in his stall all day!!!  6 weeks of daily
    care could of gone up in smoke with one wrong buck or jump!!  She 
    didn't even ask the barn manager, she just did it.   I was following
    the vet's directions, as I was inexperienced and also paying him
    for his directions.  I still wish to this day that I had asserted
    myself and told her off.....at least I did tell the barn owner,
    who made sure no one touched him without permission from then on.
    
    Lynne
    

    
    Where do you guys ride !! (No, don't tell me - I really DON'T want to
    know) NOBODY at the barn I ride would think to `offer' advice to
    another adult rider much less touch another horse without asking the
    barn manager or owner first. 
    
    
    Opinions are given when asked and occasionally an adult will called
    down an over enthusiastic child - but making a suggestion like you
    guys are talking about would get you a BIG cold shoulder. We all
    work to hard at our riding to be distracted by unwanted suggestions.
    
    Nancy