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Conference noted::bicycle

Title:	Bicycling
Notice:	Bicycling for Fun
Moderator:	JAMIN::WASSER

Created:	Mon Apr 14 1986
Last Modified:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:	3214
Total number of notes:	31946

1828.0. "Bernard Hinault visits Cote d'Azur" by IDEFIX::HEMMINGS (Lanterne Rouge) Wed Jan 23 1991 06:35

To my great surprise, I received an invite from the local bikeshop at Antibes 
to attend an afternoon in the company of Bernard Hinault.  Also enclosed was a 
form to fill in to enable me to take part in the free Tombola which would be 
drawn during the afternoon by the great man himself.

Two effects - the first was that my wife wanted to attend to feel his legs.  
The second was that I sent a copy to Mr Wilson, believing that as a valued 
customer he would receive similar treatment.....

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date:     21-Jan-1991 05:03pm CET
From:     WILSON
 
Subject: B.Hinault
 
Robin
 
I just received the copy of the invitation. I am green.  You sure know how to
hurt a guy. I do not wish you well. I hope you win a pair of fuschia
leg-warmers in the tombola.
 
If (as I strongly suspect) an invitation awaits me in my letterbox, I will
reveal to le Blaireau on the day that you are a "sale rosbif", and he will no
doubt treat you accordingly. If there is no invitation (through some
administrative oversight or postal delay), I will make a point of dropping into
the shop every evening this week and admiring expensive frames. If that fails,
I will turn up next Wednesday under the pretext of buying a pair of bicycle
clips, and affect not to recognise B. Hinault (or you).
 
May your chamois turn to sandpaper.
 
John
 
PS One way or another, I must get him to sign my copy of his book.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date:     22-Jan-1991 08:16am CET
From:     Robin HEMMINGS @VBO
 
Subject: RE: B.Hinault
 
John
 
No real malice, I assure you - I save that for when I'm out on the velo..
 
Probably we'll find he cancels due to Antibes being closer to the war zone.
 
regards, Robin
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date:     22-Jan-1991 09:46am CET
From:     WILSON
 
Subject: still no invitation
 
Robin
 
I am beside myself because there was no invitation in my letterbox last night.
I  have conceived an even more diabolical plan of revenge for Wednesday. I will 
identify you in loud English as my friend and ask you to translate my request
for bicycle clips into French - and all in the presence of the Great Man, who
will immediately presume that you are (a) anglais (b) the sort of cyclist that
knows about bicycle clips.

Regards, John
------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Date:     22-Jan-1991 11:23am CET
From:     Robin HEMMINGS @VBO
 
Subject: RE: B.Hinault
 
John
 
Just to upstage you and to make sure your diversionary tactics go un-noticed -
I shall of course be wearing black tights and an alpaca jacket with a 24 oz.
tubular around my shoulders in a figure-of-eight.  I shall bring an egg beaten
up in Champagne with me in a well-used and dented aluminium feeding bottle and
share it with Le Blaireau.  Doubtless, we will then spend the rest of the
afternoon reminiscing about the good old days when cyclists were real men and
not a load of fairies prancing around looking like refugees from the Bolshoi
Ballet.
 
regards, Robin
 
PS Coming down to Mandelieu Wednesday, sometime between 6 and 8 ???
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

T.R	Title	User	Personal Name	Date	Lines
1828.1	Priceless	BOOKS::MULDOON	I'll be right back - Godot	`Wed Jan 23 1991 12:49`	6
	We could use you two over here in our tech writing group. It would certainly make the "RF31 Service Guide" a great deal more enjoyable! 8^) Steve
1828.2		RUTILE::MACFADYEN	Drinking for peace	`Wed Jan 23 1991 18:45`	5
	Was that today? What does egg beaten in champagne taste like? What's French for "bicycle clip"? Rod
1828.3	DUI on yer bike!	VOGON::REEVE	Quid custodiet ipsos custodes?	`Thu Jan 24 1991 05:46`	7
	Okay, so this is the wrong conference to ask, but what is with the egg beaten in champagne? I watched a New Zealand sci-fi thriller movie a few days ago and this was in there too. Is there a conspiracy? This is a new foodism to me. Does it count as carbo-loading? Tim
1828.4	Franglais and Champagne...	IDEFIX::HEMMINGS	Lanterne Rouge	`Thu Jan 24 1991 06:23`	29
1828.5	Me and BH	IDEFIX::HEMMINGS	Lanterne Rouge	`Thu Jan 24 1991 06:24`	59
	Date: 23-Jan-1991 01:01pm CET From: Robin HEMMINGS @VBO Subject: Bernard Hinault John The note's not really about BH - I just like to get you going... I take it that either my last missive has upset you too much or you have thought of another excuse for not going out training. There is no truth in the rumour that I have to do 200 km before next Wednesday to avoid looking like a fat slob in front of the Great Man. regards, Robin ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 23-Jan-1991 02:47pm CET From: WILSON Subject: RE: Bernard Hinault Hello Robin I really haven't time to go to the track, and anyway I must go to the bike shop and begin my hint-dropping. I wonder if Danielle will get an invitation? She wrote a cheque just before Christmas. What is the criterion? Is there a minimum amount? Maybe I am too good a customer - I pay in cash. However I cling fondly to the notion that W is near the end of the alphabet so my invitation was sent out late. Or maybe the Antibes post caused the delay (that is a serious possibility). Don't mention Paul Kimmage. I must give you my book for signing. Regards John ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 23-Jan-1991 02:53pm CET From: Robin HEMMINGS @VBO Subject: RE: Bernard Hinault John As a well-known friend of BH, I shall be only too pleased to sign your book. Would you like me to get Bernard to put his signature before or after mine? I must admit to using either Carte Bleu or Societe Generale cheques chez Fusberti - perhaps this is just another of those advantages that (the attractive) Helene Charrel has been on about. Would you like her autograph as well? Pity about the track, I was relying on you to bring the compteur to find how far we go, but be warned and primed with excuses because I suspect Rob will be wanting to go on Friday after his trip this week. regards, Robin -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1828.6	Provocation	ULYSSE::WILSON	John,Valbonne,France 828-5631,VBE	`Thu Jan 24 1991 09:02`	23
	I hesitate to inflict any more of this on the cycling community but ... Rod - a bicycle clip is une pince a velo. However I am not supposed to know this, as Robin must translate it in the bike shop on Wednesday. Yes, the pilgrimage to see the Great Man is on Wednesday 30 January, so Robin still has six days to torment me. Lest I appear vindictive about this, the public should know that I was provoked. Robin sent me a copy if his invitation with a rude and hurtful message written on it. I will fill in my name and use this to effect entry to the shop on the day, of course. To make things worse, he has called me a technical writer, when everyone knows that I am a sanitary documentation operative. Quel insult! He'll be calling me a contractor next. Anyway it's not as if I care really I mean he's only a cyclist I mean he's only one of the Blessed Trinity of Anquetil, Merckx and Hinault I mean WHERE IS MY INVITATION? Still green John
1828.7	more provocation	BEAGLE::ROWLANDS	Rob Rowlands AFSG/VIA/TP VBO 828-5480	`Fri Jan 25 1991 08:33`	4
	It's not that I want to stir John, but yesterday I too got a an invite to join BH at Fusberti's on Wednesday... what's more hand delivered... See you there Robin.(!)
1828.8	not only but also.....	BONNET::HEMMINGS	Lanterne Rouge	`Mon Feb 04 1991 09:04`	69