Conference moira::parenting

    If I were her I would be THANKFUL that you are so Generous - I think
    that she is being very well paid. 
    

    I had a nanny that did NOT live with us.  I work 3 days a week and
    Sue would come to the house Tues., Wed., THurs., and work from
    7:30AM to 5:30PM.  Her only job was to care for Austin.   Some
    mornings this included giving him breakfast, most mornings he had
    already eaten by the time she came.  She gave him lunch each of the
    3 days and had free access to the fridge for herself.  (I mention this
    only because it was the running joke between my husband and myself
    about how much one person could eat!)  Austin takes at least one 2 hour
    nap every day...during this time Sue either watches her soaps or sleeps
    herself.  
    
    Sue could take Austin out for trips to stores, her own home,
    playground, beach, etc...as long as I knew.  Sue did NO cleaning, in
    fact, when I came home from work, the lunch dishes were generally left
    in the sink or on the table.  She was wonderful with Austin, awful with
    the house.  But that was a price I was willing to pay because she was
    so good with my son.  
    
    Sue got a weeks paid vacation.
    
    For the 3 days she worked, she took home a  min of 170/wk....I say min.,
    because if I came home even 10 minutes past 5:30 I would pay her more.
    
    Don't know if you can compare part time live out nanny with full time
    live in...but thought it might be a point to start.
    
    By the way, Austin is now 28 months old and is now going those 3 days
    a week to a family day care....the day care provides meals and snacks
    he just started the 3 full days and he really likes it!
    
    
    
    

    re: .0 
    
    Room and board, free use of a car, two weeks paid vacation, paid holidays 
    and sick time and you pay her $210/week.  If you ever get rid of Lee, can 
    I apply for the job? :-)  If you took my net pay and then subtracted what 
    I pay for rent, car payments, gas & electric, car insurance and phone 
    bills, Lee makes far more money than I do.  And being a contract
    worker, I don't even get vacation time or sick pay.  I say she's got it
    made!
    
    Lori B.  

    re .0
         I also think that Lee has a *very* generous package.  Especially
    with only one child to mind.
    
    				Mary

    I think it's more than generous!  Lee is making more than my degreed
    social-working sister! 

    Re: .0
    
    I too think your nanny is reasonably paid.  I have live-in nannies 
    for years.  My nannies' hours are usually 7:30am - 7:30pm, Monday
    through Friday.  They have paid holidays.  If we take a vacation,
    they will be paid.  But they will not be paid if they take a
    vacation.  We usually take 2 weeks of vacation per year.  Their 
    main duty is caring the kids, preparing lunches and doing kids laundry.   
    They are also expected to keep the house reasonably clean.  I usually do 
    the dinner and the nannies usually do the dishes.  None of our nannies 
    drive.  I paid my last nanny $200/week.  However, we don't claim the 
    expense on our tax returns.  And we know none of our nannies report the 
    income on their returns. 
    
    I think we paid our nannies reasonablly.  I am sure they would like
    to be paid more but I never heard any complaints.
    
    

    Sounds like a good deal to me.  It may be that Lee doesn't understand
    the "value" of the benefits that she has - rent, auto insurance, paid
    vacation and holidays, etc.  Maybe putting some dollar values on those
    benefits can help her understand what she is really being paid.
    
    When we looked for our live-out nanny, I remember asking others what
    they paid for other forms of day care.  Live-in nannies were getting
    about $600 per mo, which is slightly less than you are paying.
    
    When we first hired our nanny, we did not pay social security.  After a
    few months we changed, and began a small withholding amount.  At first
    she saw it as a pay cut until we sat and explained it, and a friend of
    hers convinced her it was to her overall advantage. It just wasn't
    obvious because it looked like less money in her pocket.  
    
    Good luck
    
    --  Mary
    
    
    

    Try calling the placement service that Digital has for
    childcare...Work/Family Relations (I believe).  The numbers differ
    depending on your site.  
    
    W/F Relations can give you ballpark info on salaries for both live in
    and live out nannies.  I called them when my live-out nanny was
    complaining about her salary and they gave me some good
    information.  
    
    Just as an aside...it's been my experience (in several instances) that
    salary complaints aren't really about salary at all but something else
    that's bothering the person.  You may want to "dig" a bit to see if
    salary is the real issue.    
    
    Regards,
    LZP
    
                                
    

Just some thoughts... 

What would you be paying for with day care for the same hours per week in your
area?

Would your child get as much personal attention as she receives from the nanny?

For those who's nannys clean -  what would it cost for someone to clean once
a week?

Home much do "rooms" rent for in your area? (Remember not to compare room
rates with apartments)

What is the value to you to have the convience of someone right there as
opposed to getting the child ready to go to the baby sitters?

What is the value to you to have the peace of mind knowing your child is being
well taken care of.

We had a live-out nanny for two years whose hours were
from 8:30AM - 6:00PM.  She really had no responsibilities
outside of taking care of Christopher, feeding him 
lunch and cleanup up after him and herself.

We did not provide lunch for her but she would every
once in a while take him out to McD's or somewhere and
I'd leave enough money for both of them to eat on.

We started her off at $180/wk and gave her a raise
each year (unlike a daycare center whose rates are
reduced as a child gets older).  Her salary when we
decided to put Christoher is daycare was $225/wk.
I think that salary was high but this was her only
means of supporting herself.

Her automobile was her own, she had her own insurance
and her own apartment and survived on this just fine.
I think it's great that you are checking around at what
others are willing to spend and what services they are
getting.  I would think that this would open Lee's 
eyes as to what she is really getting with you folks.

    I have to join the majority here. I have used one of the agency Au Pair 
    programs. My au pair provides 45 hours a week of child care, loads and
    unloads the dishwasher, does some laundry, and does the vacuuming. She 
    gets $100 per week in her pocket (lots more than I get for spending money),
    $300 towards tuition, a round trip air ticket, use of the car (we're
    down to 3-4 times a week), and the agency's health insurance. 
    
    Since she is making only a one year commitment, I, and thousands of
    au pairs, think this is reasonable. 
    
    I would pay more for an American who could make a commitment of more
    than 1 year but then I would not have pay to the agency fee and the 
    transportation (adding over $70 per week).
    
    Ya, if money is really her issue, she is in the wrong line of work. Ask
    her what it really is. And think about what your total cost of this
    care is. When I add in the utility bills I pay to have my child at home
    it gets even more frightening. 
    
    Good luck. It is tough dealing with these roommates who care for our
    children.

    We also had a live-OUT nanny.  Marie was paid $40 per day 7:30-5:30. 
    Marie's only responsibility was to care for Aaron (feed, dress, bathe
    and play)...meals were on us.  
    
    However, let me say that if I could have afforded to, I would have paid 
    Marie $100 a day.  She's was the most wonderful person/nanny you could ask 
    to care for your child.  She would do the laundry, empty dishwasher,
    sweep the floor ... including one day I came home to find my junk draw
    in the kitchen in perfect order with neat little ties, containers, etc.
    
    I actually felt guilty and would say "Marie, please...understand that I
    don't expect you to do any of this... we appreciate it very much, but
    it isn't necessary.  She said "she loved doing it, and when the baby
    napped, she was bored.  I explained that $40 @day was all we could
    afford and if I could I would pay her more, but she only said..."no,
    no, I don't want any more.
    
    More than anything, Marie was wonderful with Aaron (then 18 months).  She
    would dress him up in his rain coat and boots and take him for a walk
    in the rain ...she wanted him to experience splashing in the puddles. 
    She would lay on the floor with him and they would exercise together...
    They planted flowers in a little garden...etc.
     
    My point is that we want our daycare provider to love our children as
    much as we do, give the child undivided attention and provide the very
    best care... yet we pay them $3-5 per hour... and look at the amount of
    responsibility we expect carry.  When you find a great nanny/sitter,
    don't forget to do special little things for them and show
    appreciation.  Sometimes that alone balances out the fact that they
    really are underpaid - the more you show appreciation in an act of
    kindness the more devoted they are to caring for your child.
    
    K

I too have a nanny for my 6 month old son, and I love it.  My nanny lives-in 
during the week, and goes home on week-ends.  She does all the housework,
and she also does a super job of taking care of my son.  There are quite a number
of advantages that a Nanny has, that we don't.  Not only do you pay her vacation
and sick time, etc., but you feed her (at least breakfast and lunch), and she is 
in a home, and does not have anyone (her boss) breathing down her neck all of 
the time.  She is paid to take care of, and have fun with your child.  I think 
Lee has a great deal.  My nanny does not make as much as she does.


						---Sue.

    Work/Family Directions, Inc  800-635-0606  (Child Care Resource and
    Referral Program, free of charge to all Digital employees).  This
    service also provides help for in-home care - from a babysitter to a
    nanny.
    
    

    
    I WILL BE SEARCHING FOR A LIVE OUT NANNY FOR OUR CHILD WHO WILL BE BORN
    IN SEPTEMBER AND FOR OUR FIVE YEAR OLD AFTERNOONS AFTER KINDERGARTEN.
    
    WE LIVE IN CONCORD, MASS. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? I AM TRYING TO FIGURE HOW
    MUCH OF A SALARY TO OFFER WHEN LOOKING.
    
    							THANKS
    							DEBORAH

    I live in Westford, MA and pay $210/week for a live-in nanny.  (I'm the 
    person who started this note.)
    
    Maryann
    

    Can anyone tell me what is involved with paying a nanny _over_ the
    table (e.g., social security, etc.).  This will not be through an
    au pair program, since we will need a live-out nanny.
    
    -Tracy
    
    

Has anyone in COLORADO hired a nanny (live in or live out)?  Are the prices
any cheaper than on the East Coast?

How do people with live-in nannies handle privacy?

     Carol

When we had our nannies, we found it a delicate balance between privacy and 
communication.  Some nannies ran off as soon as we got home which made it 
difficult to communicate.

We always had nannies who were 19 over over and able to look after themselves.
I had no intention of babysitting the sitter! :-)  Usually we chose rather 
outgoing types so we were assured that they would have an active social life and
not always be hanging around the house when they weren't working.

Our living area was naturally divided in two.  My husband and I had bedroom, 
bath, dressing, etc. upstairs while the boys rooms, the au paire room, and
their shared bath area was at the end of the corner on the ground floor.  This
solved the double problem that 1) we didn't have to share the bath with the 
au paire and 2) if we were both travelling for business, the au paire was close
enough to the children that she couldn't help hearing them.

I provided the au paire room with a "ghetto blaster" with cd player, and 
eventually a television (which we also eventually took away again) so I didn't
have the girl ruining my expensive stereo equipment and we didn't have to 
listen to her choice in music.  We finally took the television away because the
boys got older and wanted to watch too and she objected to having them in her 
room all the time.

Cheryl

I checked this conference and the previous version, but did not see this 
covered...

I'm hiring a live-out, fulltime nanny.  The booklet from the Resource & Referral
folks had one page that mentioned that, if we hired the nanny as contract labor
that we might not have to withhold for taxes, social security, etc.  Has anyone
in this conference tried to set things up so that their nanny was an independent
contractor responsible for their own withholding?  And, if so, how confident
are you that what you've set up is legal?  I live in NH if that's relevant.

I will read all replies knowing that *I* am responsible for insuring the
legality of what I'm trying to do, and that I need to discuss this with my
tax advisor.  But I was hoping to get some info from anyone with experience.

Thanks in advance!

- Deb

    re last....
    
    Talk to a tax advisor.  I've been told in COlorado that although it has
    been possible in the past to set up your nanny as an independant
    provider, the IRS is closing this loophole.
    
    Jamd

    Has anyone had a part-time, live-in nanny?  I'm now looking at that
    alternative.  I could provide room and board and a salary.  Nanny would
    provide her own car. 
    
    Ilona would attend preschool 5 mornings a week.  My ex and I would get
    her ready and drop her off.  This would free the nanny until 12:30 when
    Ilona gets picked up.
    
    I'd need nanny afternoons from 12:30 to 5:30.  I'd need another 12
    hours per week in the evenings or on weekends, to be arranged in
    advance each week.  That works out to 27 hours.  Other notes described
    a 50 to 60 hour work week.  
    
    If the pay for 50-60 hours  is approx. $200, would the pay for 25-30
    hours be $100?  I don't think I could afford more than that for total
    compensation (on top of $75 in school fees).  Is this do-able?
    
    Could I find a qualified person in New Hampshire for such a package?
    
    thx,
    Laura

    Hi Laura,
    
    Have you considered daycare center instead of nanny?  Then, get a 
    teenager for the evening hours.  I think most nannies would
    like to get full-time pay even though they only work in the afternoon.
    You should have no problem of finding a daycare center and the
    cost should be under $100/wk.
    
    Wendy

    Hi Wendy,
    
    Ilona has been full-time (about 50 hours/week) in a daycare center. 
    She is much more relaxed and not as tired when she is with a sitter. 
    
    So I have put Ilona on a 3 morning/week schedule at the center (which
    goes up through kindergarten and is excellent).  I have a sitter to
    pick her up from the center and care for her when she is not at the
    center.
    
    I'm just looking at the alternative for a live-in person.  My current
    sitter is very good.  I think my current situation will turn out to
    cost the least.
    
    Laura

    I am in the process of trying to find daycare for my two daughters, 3
    1/2 and 8 1/2 months.  I am looking at every possiblity, live-out
    nannies combined with nursery school, home daycare, etc.  I have a
    couple of questions about hiring nannies.

    I've recently put an ad in the paper for a live-out nanny and received
    about a dozen responses.  I am now scheduling interviews.  Does anyone
    have experience with hiring a nanny in this way?  What are the
    pitfalls I need to watch out for.  Any questions I must ask, additional
    references I should request, other checks that I could make?  
    
    Also, has anyone ever hired a nanny and allowed her to bring along her
    own child?  Again, any pitfalls or benefits?  
    
    Thanks,

    Jane Marie

... with great success (so far, at least!)  We have a full-time (50 hrs/week)
live-out nanny.  The most valuable advice I received was:
	- go with your instincts
	- ***ALWAYS CHECK REFERENCES***

The Childcare Resource & Referral Service folks were great.  (800) 635-0606
if you're in the U.S.  They have a wonderful booklet with sample questions
for the telephone and personal interviews, plus a sample job application.

After our nanny had been working for us a while, she asked if she could bring
her 9-year-old daughter one day that the school had a snow day.  From then on,
I told her she could bring Amanda with her anytime she wanted.  I think it's
great for my 1-year-old to see someone at least a bit closer to her age.  Had
she had a 2-year-old or so, I'm not sure I would have been comfortable.  It's
one thing if my daughter spills grape juice on the sofa or carpet, and quite
another if it's the nanny's daughter.  You need to think about some of the 
mishaps that might occur and how willing *you* are to take that risk.

Hope this helps!

- Deb

    I found my live-out nanny through an ad in the paper, and I can't 
    begin to tell you how well it has worked out!  I screened all the calls
    over the phone, and talked to the ones I thought were potentials in
    person.  Since my twins were about 11 months old at the time and had
    been so premature, I needed someone who wasn't intimidated by things
    like zillions of doctor appointments, giving medicine, or doing
    nebulizer treatments for asthma.  I did all the initial interviews
    while the children were awake to see how the person I was interviewing
    acted around the children.  I eliminated people based on things like
    gut feel or if they didn't look comfortable around the children.
    
    I paid attention to things like did they want to pick up the kids, did
    the mind that the children were there during the interview, did they
    help without being asked (1 woman just sat there and watched me 
    struggle with a diaper change that was being assisted by both the 
    twin being changed and the other one), and things like that.  I 
    narrowed my choices down to 3 and then had them return when the kids
    were asleep so that both my husband and I could talk to them.
    
    I also checked the references on my top 2 choices.  I got lucky and
    found someone who actually had experience with twins, and got a glowing
    review.  Something I found interesting when talking to the other
    parents was that things they considered to be negatives, I sometimes
    considered positives.  I ended up with a very young nanny who is
    a dream, and really likes it here, so we've all lucked out on this.
    
    Feel free to send mail if you'd like more details.
    
    

    
    There is a great reference guide - actually written by an ex-deccie - 
    
    Called (I Think)   "How to hire and keep a Nanny".
    
    It has ideas for locating nannies, interviewing them, checking
    references, evaluating their performance, how to construct a
    contract, and even how to let one go.  Also covers tax considerations,
    in case you ever are considered for public appointment. 8-)
    
    
    It may be available only in the Denver area. If you're interested, I
    can get you a copy via mail.  It costs about $15.
    

    
    I am looking into the possibility of hiring a live-out nanny, but I am
    not sure what the going rate is for a live-out nanny.  I need someone
    to take care of a 2 1/2 year old and a baby for 50 hours per week.
    The agencies that I have called all say between $300 to $500 per week.
    I thought that is a bit high based on what I have read in the notes.
    What should I expect to pay based on 50 hour work week?
    
    Thanks,
    
    Dave
                                                           

    
    My experience has been in the range of $280 - $340/week*. This includes
    taxes.  If you provide insurance (medical/dental), add about $100/month. 
    
    
    (* figure 4.3 weeks per month; I pay bi-monthly so I don't have to sweat
    the late/early days, etc.)
    
    
    BTW, there is a good book - written by an ex-Deccie - on how to find,
    hire, manage (and even fire) a nanny. Call me if you're interested.
    
    Jamd

I'm paying my live-out nanny $5.25/hour in Brookline, NH.  Last December when I
called the Childcare Resource & Referral folks, they said $5-7/hour was fairly
standard.  The nannies receiving the higher salaries tended to be performing
housekeeping in addition to their childcare responsibilities.

Hope this helps some.

- Deb

    
    Hi All,
    
    After tyring out the Au Pair program and finding out how much is was
    not worth it ( 2 au pairs in less than 1 year), my wife and I just
    hired a girl from our town.  She is going to turn 21 in 2 weeks.  She
    has her own bedroom and bathroom.  and because my wife and I spend alot
    of time upstairs, the nanny will have the whole downstairs to herself.
    This includes a huge family room.  So the way I look at it she has an
    apartment size living area that would go for about $600-700.  We are
    going to pay her $160 gross per week.  Also we put together some house
    rules which are posted below.  Does anyone think that we are being too
    unreasonable.  The way we look at this situation is that she will be
    treated as part of our family and should be included in whatever is
    part of our household duties.  You can reply directly to me if this
    would be easier.
    
    Thanks in Advance for any Advice,
    
    Kevin
    
    
    
				HOUSE RULES
				***********

o TV 
	- Children should not watch any "R" rated movies
        - Children should not watch more than 2 hours per day
    	  this also includes playing Nintendo

o Telephone 
	- You pay for all the calls that you make.
	- Limit phone calls to when children are sleeping and/or at school

o Visitors
	- No sleepovers unless discussed with us in advance
 	- No boyfriend sleepovers
	- Limit of 2-3 guests during work hours (must be discussed with us
  	  in advance)
	- If you have frequent guests, please have them chip in for meals
	  as we are on a tight budget
	- If a guest will be staying for a meal, please let us know in
	  advance
	- Would prefer that if your boyfriend is over and is in your 
          bedroom, that the door stay open.  This is for the childrens 
          sake

o Do not give our work numbers to anyone.  Take a message and we will return
  the call

o Do not let anyone in the house without our prior knowledge
 	- If we schedule any repairs to be done during the day, we will
	  let you know in advance

o The Master bedroom is off limits  

o Use of Stereo and television is OK if work is completed
	- If you're not in the room, turn it off to save energy

o Curfew
	-None
	- We would like to know when you will be back, so we don't worry
	  If there are any changes, let us know

o Kitchen
	- Prepare childrens meals (Breakfast & Lunch) daily (Monday-Friday)
        - We would prefer you eat dinner with us, but if you have other plans
  	  please let us know in advance
	- Help clean up after meals
	- Cook dinner once or twice a week

o Household Duties
	- Daily, as related to the children (ie, dishes, vacuuming, laundry)
	- help the children keep their rooms neat and make their beds
	- You keep your room and your bathroom clean	
	- Help out with some of the other chores.  You are considered 
          part of the family

o Payment
	- Will be on Thursday or Friday at end of shift
	- You pay own expenses (ie, telephone, activities)
        - You pay for own meals outside of the home 
	- Any activities we attend, you are welcome, but must pay own way

o Damages
	- Anything you damage, you must pay for replacement/repair

o Enforce childrens rules
	- Brushing teeth after meals
	- No playing at the end of the driveway, in the road or in the woods
	- Children ask to be excused from table
	- Wash hands and face before and after meals
	- No soda
	- Enforce pet feedings and letting them out during the day
	- Children should not leave the yard without your permission
	- Children should not be gone ALL day to a friends
	- prefer that friends come to our house to play
	- Enforce homework/reading before they go out to play after school

Emergency Numbers:
------------------

Kevin 1-493-4899 
Peggy 1-486-6192

    These are based on the rules and priviledges we put together 
    for our aupair. Plus some additional ones for the new one due in
    July. I separated out was was work related responsibilities
    and what is family priviledges. This seems to help. 
    
    Some other considerations you may want to include:
    
    Work -  	listed the hours by day.
    		Listed the reponsibilities - feed children lunch,
    			do the children's laundry, pickup after
    			children, keep children's room picked up etc.
    Priviledges -
    		Phone use - when, duration of call, limit the amount
    		the au pair can run the bill up - My current has 
    		had $200.00 month (there were no calls to home)
    		Car use - where they may take it, half hour away or
    		20 mile limit (one au pair drove to Maine 200 miles
    		without asking) If in an accident he/she is responsible
    		for the deductible. Must pay for own gas.
    		
    family responsibilities - empty dish washer, keep their room clean,
    		no smoking in house, no food in room, guests(similar
    		to the ones you listed).  We do have curfew but haven't
    		enforced this one.
    Emergency numbers included Police, fire departments plus grandparents
    		and two of our neighbors.
    
    I'm giving the aupair agency one more try. If this doesn't work out
    then I too will look for someone to come to my home.
    
    Good Luck,
    
    Pat K.
    
    		
    
    

    I think the - what you break, you pay for - is a problem. You ask her
    to do work for hire, so if she breaks something, it is in fact your
    responsibility ( by law, I think ). I also think it is not reasonable.
    Breaking glasses dishwashing/drying for example, is a household hazard,
    not something personal. Even grandma's antique crystal. 
    Of course you can agree that she is responsible for what is in her
    rooms. That is fair and reasonable.
    
    Like the well thought out list though.
    

    re: .36
    
    I did remove that line from our rules.  I felt as though it was just
    asking for trouble.  I want her to feel at home but also I want her
    to understand that she is living under my roof...
    
    Thanks for the input,
    
    Kevin

    We added the breaking part because the first nanny we had
    drove over my daughter's brand new bicycle, totally destroying
    it and then lied about it!
    
    Things like glasses, I don't expect her to pay for.  But IF
    she breaks something like a bicycle, I would expect her to
    replace it.  
    
    I really like to idea of separating child-care related duties and
    household duties.  She IS living in the house and so I expect
    her to "help" out with cleaning.  
    
    I told her yesterday that I would like her to vaccuum once a week
    and she said I was pushing it, then said she was kidding, but I'm
    not so sure she was.  I feel if she vaccumes once a week and I do
    it on weekends, it won't get that bad.  
    
    What do you think about mopping the kitchen floor once during the
    week and I do it on weekends?  With 3 children, 2 dogs and 2 cats,
    it really does need to be done.
    
    How do you feel about a nanny driving the kids somewhere?  We
    decided before we joined the Au Pair program that NONE of the nannys
    would drive the kids anywhere!  The European girls have only had
    their licenses a few months.  This girl is American, has had her
    license since 1991 and never been in an accident.  She would like
    to take the kids to the drive-in tonight.  At first, I said ok,
    but I'm still re-thinking the driving issue.  This summer, should
    we let her take the kids to the playground?
    
    So far, she's working out pretty well.  We'll keep our fingers
    crossed.

    I had a live-out nanny for my kids for almost the first 2 years. I
    think not letting her take the kids anywhere is a mistake.  I know that
    my kids love to go out, so having someone who wanted to take them
    places was wonderful. She used to trudge to the beach everyday with 1
    porta-crib, a kid in the backpack and a kid in her arms, the diaper
    bag and the cooler with formula and lunch, and she could do all that in
    1 trip from the car.  I figure if you trust your nanny to watch the
    kids at home, there's not much difference in letting her take them
    somewhere.  And getting out is very good for the children.
    
    I know that a lot of people aren't comfortable with their nanny/daycare
    provider taking their children anywhere, but I fall into the other camp
    where I don't like to be home all day, so I can't expect the kids or
    the provider to like it.  
    
    I also think that too much cleaning may take up too much time. My
    priorities are to watch the kids and the housework can wait. But then
    my kids have only just turned 3, so watching them was always more than
    enough to keep someone busy. With older children, it might be easier to
    get some cleaning in.

    Ok, next question...
    
    How often would you allow your nanny's boyfriend to visit?
    
    How often would you allow your nanny's boyfriend to eat over?
    
    I think we're going to have a problem with this one...
    
    Peggy
    

    If she is supposed to be working, I'd say no visitors.  If not, you
    need to decide how much invasion of privacy you are willing to put up
    with.  When I was dating and living with my parents, I was allowed to
    see my steady three times a week, once at home - twice on outside dates
    (which included his home).
    
    (Course it has been a generation since I've dated...)
    
    -sjd
    

    Sandy,
    
    I'm sorry, my fault for not clarifying....
    
    We certainly can not afford to feed any more people that
    we have to!  And this guy is pretty big too!
    
    I don't have a problem with him visiting.  What I DO have
    a problem with is feeding him all the time!  He has a home!
    Let him eat there!
    
    Peggy
    

    Taking his meals with you once in a while is one thing, but on a regular
    basis is a bit much. 
    
    Maybe you need to make it clear that her meals are provided - and no
    one else's.  This could also curb the habit of having him there so
    much.  Maybe she would be inclined to go out more often.  I would then
    limit the amount of nights/times guests can "intrude" on your family
    time.  You almost have to treat her like a teenage daughter.  She will
    have certain priviledges, but don't let her take advantage of her place
    in the family unit.
    
    -sjd
    

 Peggy,

 I think the important thing here is how you treat your nanny. If she is
 treated like one of the family and she infact feels like a family member
 then she may feel very comfortable with asking friends over for dinner or
 for that matter any time she wants without feeling it is intrusive to you.
 However I feel that she or for that matter any family member should not ask
 a friend over for dinner without asking permission from you or your husband.
 As far as her boyfriend spending lots of time at your home thats another
 problem which also may arises from her feeling like one of the family. Maybe
 you could ask her what days she would like to have her friend over on a
 regular basis and limit her choices to a couple of days a week. On the
 other days she'll have to meet her friend elsewhere. You may also subtley
 suggest that she and her friend have a meal together which she prepares and
 shops/pays for at a different mealtime than that of your family. This may
 give her a sense of her own space in her living environment.

 Hope this helps!

  Neil...

    Thanks for the replies.  We talked to her about it last night.
    We simply explained that we don't mind him coming over (we really
    don't) but we can't afford to feed him all the time.  We told her
    that maybe one night a week is ok with us.  If he would like to
    come over more than that, he's welcome to come after dinner.
    This solution was fine with her.
    
    We gave her the house rules in writing and she had no objections.
    
    Yes, we do have to treat her like a teenage daughter, but we
    also don't want to be her parents.  She'll be 21 in a few days
    and we feel she is an adult and we'll try our best to treat
    her as such.
    
    I really think this one will work.  At least she knows how to
    use tupperware and saran swap (my husband's pet-peeve).  
    
    I'm curious, don't they have those kinds of things in Europe?
    Or do Eupopeans never have left-overs?  I'm being silly, but it
    does seem like the Au Pairs didn't know how to use it!
    
    Thanks again,
    Peggy
    

    Hi all,
    
    Well, here it is 2 months later...
    
    Yes, this one did not work out either!  All 3 of our nannies started
    out wonderfully and then went completely downhill after about 2 months.
    
    The current one had been letting things slide, we spoke to her about
    it, nothing changed (even the next day) and then by the 3rd day, we
    spoke to her again.  We asked her what was really bothering her and
    she said she feels she's not making enough money.  She made the
    decision to call an agency and try to get a job making more money.
    
    We said that's fine.  We told her last Friday night that we have
    someone else and she won't be holding the open spot for too long,
    so we have to take her.  We gave her a 2 week notice and told her
    she's welcome to stay an extra week at no charge.  She said that
    was fine.
    
    Well, here it is Tuesday, the following week and the children are
    telling us that she won't do anything with them, she won't even
    make their lunch!  
    
    Granted, they are 7 & 9 and can probably make their own lunch, but
    that's what I'm paying her for!  
    
    The children told me last night that she was sitting in a chair reading
    a book, the baby was in the high chair eating a sandwich and she
    told the kids they were old enough to make their own lunch!
    
    I am furious about this!  
    
    #1)  I'm paying HER to make their lunch!
    #2)	 She shouldn't be leaving the baby alone to eat, what if she was
         choking?
    
    We've decided to fire her tonight and have her move it tonight!  
    
    Are we being too cruel?  We couldn't talk to her about it last night
    because she runs out the door as soon as we get home.  Oh, she's
    also had 1 week paid vacation already, a couple of other misc. days
    off that she asked for and 3 days for her grandmother passing away!
    And she had the nerve to be mad at us last night because she had to
    watch the kids an extra hour while we took the baby for her 1 year
    checkup.  She also gets to sleep in every day!  I put the baby monitor
    in her room when I leave in the morning.  I did tell her that I want
    her up BEFORE the kids get up and no showers during the day...  Yes,
    she was putting the baby in for her nap and taking an hour-long shower.
    Meanwhile, the kids end up watching tv all day!
    
    I think I'm just looking for a sanity-check here...
    
    Should we fire her?  

    I wouldn't wait until tonight....Go home and do it now.  I can't
    imagine that I would be very productive at work with so much on my mind
    anyway.
    
    				Mary
    

    I'd definitely fire her.  No doubt about it.  When you're paying
    someone for a service that they are not providing it makes it a pretty
    easy decision (easy for me to say).
    
    From what you've written, I'd be as concerned as you are about giving
    her any notice at all - it doesn't sound like your children are in a
    safe environment with her.  Was there any contracts/employment
    agreements signed stating the amount of notice to be given?  If so, you
    might be obligated (if you think she'll fight it) to pay her for the
    notice period but I would definitely ask her to leave immediately and
    simply state the reasons why - sounds like you have plenty of them.
    
    We tried the Nanny thing and had one wonderful lady for a year with my
    first.  Then she went back to the Phillipines unfortunately.  We tried
    several since then until we in desperation found a wonderful church day 
    care. Now I wouldn't consider anything else.  The same teachers have
    been there since my daughter (2nd one) was 3 months old.  Most of the
    teachers have degrees in early childhood education (her current one -
    pre-k - has a masters).  They are all steady, caring caregivers and
    while it is more inconvenient to take her somewhere, she loves it and so
    do we.  That worry is no longer a part of my work day.  My oldest is in
    school now and goes to the YMCA after school and is involved in
    gymnastics, swimming and basketball.  She's having a ball. 
    
    I know all situations are different but you might want to consider out
    of home care with the luck you're having for in-home care. (I know -
    agiain - easy for me to say).
    
    Good luck with whatever you decide.  I'm know there are some very good
    nannies.
    
    Cindy

    HI,
    
    Thanks for the replies.  Mary, you're right, I can't concentrate
    at work.  However, I don't want my children to be around when
    she moves out, which is why we're planning on doing it tonight.
    I'll take the kids to my mother's while my husband stays home
    to ensure she moves out.
    
    When she first started with us, she wanted something in writing
    stating that she would get 2 weeks notice.  She did have the
    2 week notice, which will be ended next week.  As far as I'm
    concerned, if I fire her, she gets NO notice!  
    
    I'll have to ask my SIL if we have to pay her, she's a lawyer.
    
    Besides, she's had a week's paid vacation, plus 2 other days.
    In fact, I'm not paying her for yesterday and today, that will
    make up for the other 2 days she had off.  She's still been paid
    for vacation and 3 days for her grandmother.
    
    I feel I don't owe her anything.  In fact, she owes us!
    
    We do plan on out-of-home care.  We've given up on nannies.
    What we really need is an older woman, someone that's widowed
    and could be like a second grandmother.  We're taking a break
    from nannies for awhile and will be much more careful in choosing
    another one in the future.  
    
    She even has the kids doing the vacuuming, sweeping floors and
    dishes!  She feels the kids are old enough, they should be doing
    chores.  We explained to her that they have chores that WE have
    given them, feeding the pets, cleaning their rooms, etc
    
    In fact, last night she said we should get rid of some of the toys
    in my sons toy chest, he doesn't play with them.  I told her to
    go ahead and go thru it, she's home all day!  She said she won't
    do something she's not supposed to do...
    
    Oh brother!
    
    You're right, I will fire her tonight!
    
    Thanks,
    
    

    As far as a type of contract and us being obligated, she is is also
    obligated to perform the duties in the contract.  We did not have any
    contract written up.  It was verbally agreed that she would perform
    certian functions in the house relating to in-house/live-in child care.
    We told her what we expected, gave it to her in writing and she agreed
    with it.  She wanted us (this came from her mother) to sign and
    agreement stating that we would give her 2 weeks notice.  But the way I
    see this is if we were going to make other arrangement.  If you are
    going to fire someone...There is no notice.....It is just done.  I feel
    that we have been more than reasonable with her...And I have been
    cheated again.  After reading some of these other notes in here about
    "Nannies", these girls should not be refered to as nannies.  She will
    be fired tonight....No and if or buts about it....We do have other
    arrangements already and I know these will work out because we have
    used this women before.  
    
    Thanks for all the advice.
    
    Kevin

    When Digital fires a person, that person is given two weeks' pay in
    lieu of notice. It is standard across every workplace I've ever
    encountered.
    
    When mother sacked one of her domestics, they always got two weeks' pay
    in lieu of notice. Their employment agreements always specified two
    weeks notice. [mother never fired my nanny, though]
    
    If I were in your situation, I would go home and have the woman pack
    handing her a check on the way out. I would let the children know what
    was happening, without getting into all the details, before they left
    the house.
    
    It burns to pay someone for work not performed, but two weeks' pay is
    probably much less than you'd pay defending your principles given that
    your contract was verbal.
    
      Annie

    If you look at it from Digitals stand-point, yes maybe they do give 2
    weeks worth of severance.  But then again they are a Major Corporation
    and they would only pay after the person has worked for 90 days.  My
    wife and I are not a major corporation and she has only worked 2
    months.  she is owed nothing.  As a matter of fact, she owes us for 4
    days.  She took these days of knowing that she had to make up for them
    at some other point in time.
    
    Kevin

    and to the best of my knowledge, when someone is fired, they
    are walked out the door and given pay for what they have already worked
    and accrued vacation time, NOTHING more.
    
    In addition, she was given a list of house rules and expected duties
    at the time she started.  She agreed to this.  She has not been
    performing those duties.  I mean geez, even a family day care provider
    will feed the children lunch, NO MATTER how old they are!

    Just a quick comment based on an experience with an au pair.  We
    decided to mutually terminate the child care agreement and agreed she
    could stay in our house for one week until she went on to her next
    assignment.  Her mind was definately on her next assignment and saying
    goodbyes - she also left us with a large phone bill, $120 of  the calls
    made in the week after she gave notice.  She lived with us five months
    and we thought we knew her better.  

    I, would, however, consider those days off in the past as having
    happened in the past.  I would not penalize her for those because
    obviously you gave her your permissio.  It would not be fair to take
    back your word.
    
    -sandy
    

    Sandy,
    
    It's not that we're going back on our word...  She was told when
    she was given those days off that she would have to make them up
    by babysitting at night-time occasionally.
    
    I don't feel I'm going back on my word because she's not making
    up the time.
    
    Peggy

    re.52,.53
    
    Neither are my parents a major corporation, and their lawyer[s] advised
    them that their written agreement to give two weeks notice obligated
    them to give pay in lieu of notice if the individual was fired. There
    were exceptions for criminal acts, for gross negligence, reckless
    endangerment, etc. Any of these reasons for with-holding the severance
    payment for cause could be challenged and taken to court.
    
    My position is not that you have a moral obligation [I don't believe
    that at all] but rather that seeing as you signed this agreement you
    may have the legal obligation.
    
    If there are before-the-fact compensatory days taken, they would be
    deducted.
    
    If it were me, it would depend upon how likely I thought the twit
    would be to take me to court over breach of contract. If I thought it
    at all likely, I would dish out the two weeks. If I were taken to court
    and won, I'd still be out of pocket more than the cost of two weeks
    pay. I couldn't afford two weeks, much less more. [even if you were
    awarded costs it could be a pyrrhic victory as she might not be in a
    position to pay]
    
    To repeat: I don't believe that you owe her anything in any meaningful
    sense. She's performed abominably. But, by signing an agreement, you
    may have obligated yourself.
    
      Annie

    Annie,
    
    We did not sign anything.  
    
    As for reasons, well, let's see... you mentioned gross negligence,
    Isn't not feeding the children lunch the same thing? And reading
    a book in the other room while the baby feeds herself lunch?  What
    if she had choked?  Isn't that gross negligence or reckless
    endangerment?  It is in MY book!
    
    I'm not trying to be mean here, it's just that I don't trust her
    anymore.  I'm paying her to take care of my children and she's
    not doing what she's being paid for.
    
    Peggy  
    
    

    
    I'd definitely fire her, and not pay her a cent more.  Period.  If she
    wants any more money from you, for whatever reasons, and she really
    feels she deserves it (and I'm sure she knows she doesn't deserve it!),
    then let her go through the courts to get it.  I doubt that will ever
    happen.
    
    And I agree that not watching the children is a)breech of contract on
    her part, and b)gross negligence.
    
    You should however, use this opportunity to explain to your children
    what's going on and why.  Explain that she was supposed to do A B and
    C, and since she's not doing that, then you need to find someone else
    who will so that the kids will be okay.  Use the opportunity to
    discuss repercussions of failing to perform your job (they WILL be
    working adults one day!), as well as the implications of letting
    someone down.  And try to point out that she's not a bad person, she
    just did a bad job.  In spite of her not doing what she should, the
    kids probably like her some anyway.
    
    Good Luck!
    

    Well, if you didn't sign, you're probably golden. Don't pay her a
    thing. [I had mis-interpreted what you'd said about a verbal contract
    as to what the work was and a written agreement as to notice]
    
    I agree that what you've described constitutes negligence. I wasn't
    commenting on whether or not you had cause -- I believe that you have
    ample cause.
    
    But it doesn't really matter a flip what I think. Even if you didn't
    have cause, if you'd signed an agreement you'd be liable of have to
    prove breach.

.59>    if she had choked?  Isn't that gross negligence or reckless
.59>    endangerment?  It is in MY book!
    
.59>    I'm not trying to be mean here, it's just that I don't trust her


if these lines were *really* believed, one wonders why you would have left the
children and gone to work this day?

Not preparing food for a nine year old is hardly life-threatening!
and one hardly has to stare down a child eating lunch.  careful monitoring
can be done while reading.
and all these reports coming from children who seem quite unprepared to do
household chores?  forgive me for having reservations.

I see no good reason why she is not entitled to two weeks pay.  And if you 
don't pay her that and she wins a court settlement, which is quit likely,
she would be entitled to damages, 2*,3* the 2 wks.

I'm not trying to be mean either.  But any time I really belived my child was
in a dangerous situation, I would not leave them in that situation.  You did,
so you really could not have believed it?

    I had no choice but to leave them.  You're right a 9 year old can feed
    himself...  However, a one-year old BABY DOES need to be carefully
    watched while eating.  Especially when she has NO teeth yet!
    
    If you are fired from Digital, you are walked out the door.  She
    was fired by us for not doing her job. Period. End of story.
    
    BTW, my SIL is a lawyer and we were in complete compliance with
    the law.
    
    She took the news very well.  I think she wanted out too.  However,
    she did NOT like the idea of moving out! Would you want someone to
    still have access to your home, after she's been fired?  I wouldn't
    think so.  
    
    She also denied everything...  Is she saying that BOTH of my children
    are liars?  
    
    I'm just glad it's all over and we're NEVER doing this again!

    re .62
    
    I find it hard to believe that you would pay someone an extra two weeks
    for a job she never really did to begin with.  This is like saying 
    Thank You for doing a lousy job....You "Bleeding-Heart Liberals" ought
    to look at the facts before passing a light, but well off judgement.
    She was being paid to provide child-care for 3 children.  Her job
    consisted of making breakfast and lunch, keeping the kids rooms and
    play areas neat and doing their laundry.  On many occasions, even after
    speaking to her about problems, she still did not perform the job she
    was taking money for.  Our decision was not an easy one.  We put alot of
    thought into it.  I believe that if you pay x-amount for a service then
    that service should be done to 100% satisfaction or your money back. 
    Well, you cannot always get your money back, but you can get rid of
    service and find a new/better one.  As far as I am concerned, she got
    what was coming to her.  Enough said.  She is gone and we are happy
    with the decision we made and that is all that really matters.
    
    -Kevin

gee, its the first time I've been called a liberal! :-)
I do feel for the many child care providers who people treat as subservants.
I just failed to see the urgency that you did, seeing you still left the
children with her.  For myself, anyway, If I felt my children were in danger,
I would not have been in work.  sloopy work is a different story, and she was
already on notice.
and since its only liberals that get into trouble not paying FICA for nannies,
You've propbably paid hers.  

in the end we can probably agree to disagree. I would have paid had I been in 
your situation, and no, I am not a FOB.  compassion is a nice value to pass
onto my kids.

ed


             <<< Note 196.64 by ICS::POMEROY "Up, Up and Away!!" >>>
                       -< Too many Bleeding Hearts...! >-

    re .62
    
    I find it hard to believe that you would pay someone an extra two weeks
    for a job she never really did to begin with.  This is like saying 
    Thank You for doing a lousy job....You "Bleeding-Heart Liberals" ought
    to look at the facts before passing a light, but well off judgement.
    She was being paid to provide child-care for 3 children.  Her job
    consisted of making breakfast and lunch, keeping the kids rooms and
    play areas neat and doing their laundry.  On many occasions, even after
    speaking to her about problems, she still did not perform the job she
    was taking money for.  Our decision was not an easy one.  We put alot of
    thought into it.  I believe that if you pay x-amount for a service then
    that service should be done to 100% satisfaction or your money back. 
    Well, you cannot always get your money back, but you can get rid of
    service and find a new/better one.  As far as I am concerned, she got
    what was coming to her.  Enough said.  She is gone and we are happy
    with the decision we made and that is all that really matters.
    
    -Kevin

    Anyone know what the rules are for paying taxes, FED and State (mass)
    and SS for a part-time Nanny.
    
    Also, we are interviewing a perspective with a 3 month old son.  I
    like the idea of another child around.  My daughter is 6 mo.  But
    the concern does surface about how much attention my daughter
    will get.  Any thoughts?
    

    I'm not sure about the specific rules for Mass.  But, the Federal taxes
    have changed this year.  You used to pay SS and Medicare using similar 
    forms as someone who runs a small business would.  This included making
    quarterly payments for the Social Security and Medicare taxes.
    
    For 1995, you now fill out "Schedule H" (I'm guessing the "H" is for
    Household).  This allows you to combine any federal taxes you need to
    pay for your household employees, with your regular 1040 taxes, and pay
    them all in one chunk at the end of the year.
    
    I'd call the IRS, or go to a local office (there are plenty of them -
    Nashua, NH and Marlboro, Mass come to mind) to pick up the packet for
    paying Household employee taxes.  In addition, you should call your
    state tax office, and ask to have similar forms mailed to you.
    
    Peggy

    
    Curious what the going rate is for a live-out nanny/babysitter or
    whatever you'd like to call her/him, in the greater Nashua area?
    
    I have 3 children, ages 2 1/2, 8 and 11.  Care would be daily, from
    about 8:30-5:30, when school's out, minus 2-3 weeks in the summer
    (vacations).  I'm looking for someone who would be content to hang
    around the house most times, maybe do art things, play games, have
    water fights, take a walk to the store (for a snack for them - not
    grocery shopping), that sort of thing. 
    
    What do you pay, and what does that include?  
    
    Thanks,
    Patty

    In Newton, MA, I pay on the high end of the scale - $8.00 an hour plus
    we deduct ss/medicare from her check and file the state and federal tax
    forms.  $8.00 is a raise from the $7.25 we started her with, because
    she is so fabulous and we wanted to make sure she knew we appreciated
    her.  We pay her for our paid holidays, and allow her to take vacation,
    but don't pay for it, and don't pay her when we take vacation. 
    Although I initially told her to eat whatever she wanted from our
    house, she tends to bring her own food.
    
    She works about a 9.75 hour day, is flexible if I need her to come
    early or stay late, and also sits on weekends if we arrange it.  She
    does all the baby care (feed, change/clothe, bathe), plays with her,
    reads to her, takes her for walks around the neighborhood and to store
    (no driving), does the baby laundry, folds our laundry if I've washed
    it (or will move it to the dryer), irons my husband's shirts (or mine
    if I put them out), runs/empties the dishwasher, and (here's the best
    part) prepares our supper, or at least as much as possible (e.g.,
    chopping up vegetables to be cooked by us). In the last several months,
    her husband (retired) comes over for 30 minutes or so a day, and reads
    to my daughter.  I think this is the highlight of his day!  She is now
    their surrogate grandchild, a great deal for me since my parents are
    far away, and we don't see my husband's father that often (his mother
    is deceased).  Their 3 children are grown, single, living on the West
    Coast.
    
    This woman just turned 60, was previously a social worker, and when she
    found out I was pregnant (she is a neighbor, one block away), told me
    she planned to quit her job in the spring, and wanted to become a nanny
    - my nanny!  So, I never had to look for one.  After all, she had
    previously house-sat for us/our dog when we went on vacation, so we
    knew she was reliable ;) !  Sometimes a neighbor will come over and
    have a cup of tea with her, and very occasionally another neighbor's
    daughter will stay at our house for a couple of hours after school due
    to a gap in daycare.  I've decided these "intrusions" are still
    probably less than there would be if me or my husband were there, and
    keeps things sane for the nanny (outside contact!).  Faye
    has a much more regular schedule with her during the week than with us
    on the weekend, when we are trying to schedule chores and errands as
    well as look after her.  In addition, the exposure to other people is
    important for her social development, especially as she gets older, since 
    she's our only child.
    
    One thing I asked her to do initially, was let me know what my daughter
    was eating, when she was pooping, etc. through the day.  This has
    turned into a daily written "tale of Faye" that includes all the admiring
    remarks of neighbors, new accomplishments (stacking a block, saying a
    new word, taking a step), sleep habits, etc.  After a couple of months
    of notebook paper, I bought a "Day Care Journal" expressly for this.  I
    know we will treasure it in the future, and Faye will have a great time
    reading it.  I highly recommend this - gives you peace of mind and a
    sense of what's going on - and tells you things you might never hear
    about otherwise.
    
    My sister lives in Los Angeles, pays her "off the books" live-out
    nanny $5.00 an hour for a 10 hour day, who does light house work, and
    is very pleased with her performance (18 months of experience now),
    although my sister wonders if she lets her son watch tv or videos a
    little too much vs. interacting with him.  The nanny had previously
    worked in a home for 3 years taking care of twins, so had a good
    recommendation.  The nanny doesn't speak much
    English, but that shouldn't matter with a toddler, and in fact he could
    be learning Spanish!  My sister has also done things like paid the
    nanny's airfare to Hawaii to stay with them there (and allowed her to
    bring a friend), in exchange for some sitting while they were there,
    and I think also pays her two weeks' vacation.  She is now expecting a
    second child, and will probably give the nanny a raise.
    
    I think the main thing to remember when considering nanny duties, is
    their primary responsibility is for the children, to ensure they're
    safe, so I wouldn't impose a lot of household duties, or at least be
    flexible depending on what's happening that day.  For instance, as Faye
    stops taking naps (still taking a 2-3 hour nap/day), I would expect
    probably no ironing, and preparing dinner may be more iffy.  Before I
    had the baby, I thought she should do "an hour" of household chores a
    day; after I had the baby, my priorities were that she interact with
    the baby, and keep her safe.
    
    The "Work/Family" resource through Digital has a free video and lots of
    literature on hiring a nanny/day care, sample interview questions, etc.
    
    Hope this is helpful to anyone looking for ideas.
    
    Jennie
    
    
    
    

I recently tried to hire a nanny to care for my
one and only 4-year-old daughter and got "sticker 
shock".  Some nannies wanted $8.75/hr.  Possibly I'm
just out of touch with the market, but I thought I'd
check here.

Please reply here or send mail if you're willing to
divulge what you pay your live-out nanny.  I'd also
like to know the number and age(s) of the child(ren)
and your geographic location.

I was hoping to pay something ~$5.50/hour since the
location is Brookline, NH (read "boonies" :-) and 
there's only one child.  I did check with Work Family
Directions and they indicated the range was anything 
above minimum wage to around $7/hour.

Luckily, I did find a nanny for the summer, but I have
to go through this again for the fall...

Thanks in advance.

- Deb

    Deb,
    
    in my part of the county you can get a MacJob for 6.50 an hour.  I
    don't know wht the market is like out there for low-end employment, but
    I would imagine a nanny should be paid more.  
    
    meg

    The going rate near us is a minimum of $8/hr for one child.  But we
    live
    close to Boston.

    The "going rate" for nannies in my area (Acton, MA) is in the $8.00 --
    $10.00 range.  If you contract through a nanny agency, it's more like
    $12.00 (the nanny gets $9.00, the agency gets $3.00 an hour.)
    
    I've had nannies for my 2 children (ages 9 & 11 1/2) for many, many years. 
    I've been able to reduce the rate somewhat by having a nanny that
    brings her child along to my home, which has worked out great for my
    children as well as for the nanny & child.  I've always paid at least
    one weeks vacation, as well as the major holidays.  We had the same
    nanny for the last 5 years, but for the first time, we're now living
    without a nanny.  I've reduced my hours, and my children will be going
    to camps for the summer.  I don't think it's any easier or less costly, 
    but it seems like we've moved on to a different level of childcare.
                                    

    I had a nanny for my two children (ages: 4 mos & 2.5 yrs at that
    time) and paid $160 a week.  She was a college student going to
    nite school for her degree in Early Childhood Education.  This was
    about 1 year ago and I live in Leominster.  She was from Ashburnham
    which is not that far from Brookline, NH.
    
    /kmu