Conference turris::womannotes-v2

    Well, it may not be a "real womannotes issue", but anything that
    prevents a rathole is welcome (if any of the moderators disagrees,
    she may feel free to delete this note).
    
    My nomination for Worst Song Ever?
    
    "You Light Up My Life" is a strong contender. Two others are "Candy
    Man" by Sammy Davis Jr. and "Tie a Yellow Ribbon 'Round the Old
    Oak Tree" by Tony Orlando.
    
    When all is said and done, though, the tune that drives me up the
    walls the most is "The Yellow Rose of Texas" (no, I don't really
    have anything against the color yellow :-)), regardless of who
    sings it, or even if it's an instrumental.
    
    --- jerry

    
    
    
     . . . . . McArthur's Park (had to take my little sisters 45 to
    
    school to keep her from playing it over and over and over and over
    
    and . . . . . . .)
    
    
    
    
    
                                 Robin
    
    p.s. Who cares if someone left the cake out in the rain?!

    
    
    	Rockin' Robin - twiddely-tweet...
    
    	In the words of Bill the Cat, "Ack"!
    
        :^('

    I would nominate ANY Madonna song, but, choosing one, I would have
    to pick "Material Girl".
    
    K.C.
    
    P.S.  This may sound strange, buy I LIKE most of the pre-mentioned
    songs (with the exception of "Candy Man")

    Getting back to weddings, what about that great all-time wedding
    hit --- "Daddy's Little Girl"
    
    

    [moved by moderator from note 53]
    
Note .205                     
MSD36::STHILAIRE "Food, Shelter & Diamonds"          23 lines  21-SEP-1988 14:46
                         -< A few comments & thoughts >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    re .204, it would be wonderful if *none* of the other women in the
    world could stand Bruce Springsteen - then I could have him for
    myself!  He could be *MINE* - ALL MINE!!  :-)  
    (He's probably old enough to be your father anyway.  His birthday
    is this Friday and he'll be 39.  He's just 10 days older than me.)
    
    Re .204, excuse me, but you buy Playgirl just to read the articles
    - what articles?  Sorry.  I could think of a way they could perk
    up the pictures a bit, too.  
    
    Re .203, I have thought for a long time that the worst song of my
    lifetime, so far, has been "The Ballad of the Green Berets" by Sgt.
    Barry Sadler (sung in his shakey, sincere, yet misguided voice).
     This is followed closely by "Billy & Sue" (a horrible song about
    a guy who dies in Vietnam because he stands up and gets hit when
    he reads in a letter that his girlfriend is cheating on him-like,
    I'm sure he was faithful, yah know?), and also, "Teen Angel" (about
    a girl who gets run over by a train when she runs back to get her
    boyfriend's class ring out of the car which has stalled on the train
    tracks - what a dummy!!)
    
    Lorna
    

    Note .206                     
WMOIS::B_REINKE "As true as water, as true as light"  5 lines  21-SEP-1988 16:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    in re songs - Lorna you forgot the one that starts out "See the
    tree how big it's grown" that one makes me gag almost as much as
    teenangel!
    
    Bonnie


    Note .207                     
REGENT::BROOMHEAD "Don't panic -- yet."               4 lines  21-SEP-1988 16:11
                           -< "My Johnny's Hubcap" >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    The entire field of "Teenage Death Songs" is a fruitful one
    indeed.
    
    						Ann B.


    Note .208                     
SLOVAX::HASLAM                                         1 line  21-SEP-1988 16:48
                               -< Vroom, Vroom! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    How 'bout "Leader of the Pack"?
    
    
    
    Note .209                     
APEHUB::STHILAIRE "Food, Shelter & Diamonds"         15 lines  21-SEP-1988 16:57
                       -< And that's how I fell for... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Re .208, I always loved the lines,
         (Lead singer)
        "He turned around and looked at me
         Get the picture?
    
         (Back-ups singers together)
         "Yes!  We see"
    
    
    I asked my daughter what her least favorite song was and she said,
    "Goin to a Clambake" by Elvis Presley.  I thought it was kind of
    an odd answer.  I guess it's from one of his many memorable movies.
    
    Lorna
    
    
    Note .210                     
QUARK::LIONEL "Ad Astra"                              8 lines  22-SEP-1988 00:06
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Re: .208, .209
    
    I was more fond of "Leader of the Laundromat", a spoof done by
    "The Detergents".
    
    Another "teenage death songs" that make me gag is "Patches".

    					Steve

    "A Fifth of Beethoven"

    "My name is Michael, I've got a nickel"
    
    "Midnight at the Oasis"
    
    "Beast of Burden"
    
    "Sideshow"
    
    "Afternoon Delight"
    
    
    -Jody
    

    RE: .8
    
    Jody, you didn't like "Afternoon Delight".
    
    At the time it first came out, circa 1976, it was one of my
    favorites (possibly for very obvious reasons, back then). :-)
    
      Alan

    Re .8, Jody, "Beast of Burden" is one of my top favorite songs!!!
    
    There are a couple of Willie Nelson songs that I *hate*.
    
    One of them is "For All The Girls I've Loved Before" (I think that's
    the name), and the other is "You Were Always On My Mind".  I always
    want to be able to say, Forget it Willie!  You're a loser!  You
    blew it!
    
    I also hate "At the Copacabana" by Barry Manilow.
    
    I also hate that song "Only In America" (can you be brainwashed
    this bad).
    
    Lorna
    

    I stopped listening to WHOB because they kept playing Tiffany's
    "Could Have Been."
    
    Re: "Billy and Sue"
    
    I don't know if this is the same song, since I don't recall any
    mention of cheating, but there was this song around 1970 about a
    soldier who got killed being a hero, despite his girlfriend's pleas
    to be careful.  Refrain:
    
    "Billy, don't be a hero, don't be a fool with your life.
    Billy, don't be a hero, come back and make me your wife."
    And as he started to go, she said, "Billy, keep your head low.
    Billy, don't be a hero, come back to me."
    
    Pretty awful, eh?  I wish I didn't still remember it.  I thought
    it terribly poignant when first I heard it all those years ago.
    (I was young.  Yeah, that's it, I was *real* young.)

    Can't remember much of the words of song but it was sung by the woman
    who played "JAN" in the "Brady Bunch"....It was about a young female
    teenager who was pregnant.  The father got out the shot gun and was
    going to shoot the man responsible.  She pleads with her father, he
    shoots, she jumps in front of him...the father kills his daughter...
    and all the while she sings 
    
    "Daddy, please don't were going to get married...."
    
    This has to be the #1 bad song of all times.

    Re .11, I think "Billy and Sue" is a different song.  The "Billy
    and Sue" that I hated so much began, "Billy and Sue met the first
    day of school and ever since then lived by the golden rule...."
    Then, in the middle of the song he gets sent to Vietnam, gets a
    letter which he presumably reads in the middle of a battle, and
    stands up when he reads that Sue has cheated on him, and is
    subsequently shot and killed.  The song ends, "Billy didn't die
    by a bullet, but he died - from a broken heart."

    I just remembered two more of my all time least favorite songs,
    "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road" (anyone who sings it should
    be immediately shot and then placed in the middle of the road),
    and "Short People" by Randy Newman (may he bump his head going thru
    many doorways). 
    
    Lorna
    

    Anything by Barry Manilow -- schmalz beyond belief -- "I hate the
    songs, I hate the songs".

    Worst songs that I've heard
    
    "They Cleaned My Cut Out With A Wire Brush" by Happy Flowers
    "Mom, I Gave The Cat Some Acid" by Happy Flowers
    The "Give Peace A Chance/We Will Rock You" mix by The Tadertots
    
    ASP

    Re. a little bit back
    
    The song you mean was "Run Joey Run".   And I HATE it too!
    
    "Short People" gets my vote, too.  (I'm 5' even)
    
    And "Parents Just Don't Understand" by DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh
    Prince.  (YUK)
    
    K.C.

	#1 has to be "You're Having my Baby" by Paul Anka. My #2 at
	the moment has to be the song Sinatra sings on the beer
	commercial...
	
	re .13: Listen to more Randy Newman - you'll soon realize that
	short people were not the target he was after (besides, if
	you've ever seen him, you'll realize that bumping his head in
	doorways is not a problem he is concerned with:-)
	
	Mike

  My personal least favorite is "Honey" by Bobby somebody-or-another
  (Goldsboro?  Vee?  Vinton?).  But "Candy Man" and "MacArthur Park"
  are in contention, too.

  "Short People" is a _wonderful_ song, as are many by Randy Newman,
  and not even very offensive by his standards.  But you do have to
  listen to the words lest you get the wrong idea...

  JP

    I can't believe 18 replies have been entered and no one even 
    mentioned "Disco Duck" by Rick Dees.  Yes, that Rick Dees of the
    Weekly Top 40 (I think that's what his show is called).
    
    I hate that song.
    
    Jodi-
    who_used_to_be_a_disc_jockey_during_the_disco_craze.

    in re .18
    
    "Honey" is the one I was talking about earlier....that song
    causes an instant gag reflex in me.
    
    Bonnie

    I stopped listening to Colorado Springs FM stations on Sundays.
    Every one of them has the 50s craze. I hate 50's music, especially
    the "Its My Party", "Johnny Angel", "Teen Angel", genre of music
    (and I use the term loosely).
    
    But I remember a really bad one from the 60s--"Please General Custer,
    I Don't Want to Go".
    
    And a song that gives me a headache to this day, "The Wayward Wind".
    (I associate this one with a bad car trip when I was car sick and
    had a bad headache when I was very very very small. This was the
    tune on the car radio, over and over and over the whole trip
    ...........ad nauseum?.)
    

    "Walk Like A Man,  Talk Like A Girl..."       (sorry ;->)
    
    And I'm suprised, tho' I like the song, that "Feelings" hasn't been
    brought up yet!
    
    "Party All the Time".  In my eyes, Eddie Murphy should learn how
    to be funny before being called a comedian, and should learn how
    to sing to be concidered a singer.  That song stinks!
    
    K.C.

    
    
    Surfer Bird
       
    Ya Can't Surf on a Microwave!
    
    Roller Skate song  by Joni Mitchel, don't know if that's the real
    title, but it drives me nuts!!
    

    Sorry to write here twice, but I forgot:
    "Cisco Kid Was a Friend of Mine". Even my dog used to hate that
    one.

    RE: .21
    
    Ah yes, "The Wayward Wind".
    
    And whatever did hapeen to good ole' Gogi Grant. (I wonder if
    that was shortened from Gagmi Grant?)
    
    For the "Catcalls Note", perhaps the Four Lads singing: "Standing
    on the Corner, Watching All the Girls Go By" ought to be the official
    theme song. :-)
    
      Alan
          

    "Chipmunk Love"?
    
    La, la, la, la, la...
    
    
    -Tracy
    

    Honey. gads, amazing I can put the stuff in my coffee after 20 years.
    
    All post-Allman_Brothers Southern rock
    
    any disco version of a rock 'n roll song (latest travesty - Natalie
    Cole doing 'Pink Cadillac')
    
    disco (boom,clap,boom,clap,boom,clap.........)

    Muskrat Love, by the Captain and Tennille, perhaps?
    
    Also - 
    
    Rubberband Man
    Convoy
    Le Freak
    Stayin' Alive
    Love will lift us up where we belong (other people liked it, though)
    Love to love you, baby
    If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy
    Catch me if you can?  (something about Muhammad Ali)
    The logical song (I know, everybody else loves it, right?)
    I believe in miracles (you sexy thing...)
    
    maybe this should go in the true confessions note, but I don't
    particularly like Bruce Springsteen....
    
    -Jody
    
    
    

    re:.13
    
    "Dead Skunk..." was by Loudon Wainwright III, who's done some
    great songs (but that one wasn't one of them).
    
    re:.18
    
    Bobby Goldsboro.
    
    re:.23
    
    The "Roller Skate song by Joni Mitchell"?  Are you perhaps thinking
    of "Brand New Key" by Melanie Safka? ("I've got a brand new pair
    of roller skates, you've got a brand new key...")
    
    --- jerry

    Divorce by Tammy Wynette
    
    "Our D.I.V.O.R.C.E. becomes final today"
    
    When I was in the WACS, in Casual Company, we were allowed to have
    stereos.  One girl, in a bay of around 30, played this song over
    and over and over continuously.  She ignored polite requests to
    please not play it so much.  Finally, most of the rest of us signed
    a petition requesting that the record be taken from her until she
    left the Army.  We presented it to the sergeant who confiscated
    her record.  I can still hear that song being played over and over
    and over.  I asked the girl if she had been recently divorced and
    she said, No, she just liked the song!
    
    Also, "Stand By Your Man" by Tammy Wynette
    
    
    Lorna
    
    

    Any disco: i.e, Donna Summer "Hot Stuff"
    
    Does anyone remember "Born to be alive"?  GAG, GAG, GAG!!!
    
    I must admit that as I was reading through this topic I was in
    hysterics.
    
    You mentioned several of my least favorites:  although nobody mentioned
    Barbara Streisand's "Memories" ...

    Re: .28 re .26:
                   
    Yes, that's it!  Thanks, Jody.
    
    -T.
    
    

    And then there was:
    
    Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight
    (I forgot who sang this, but I think it was an English group)
    
    And I've never been a big fan of New York, New York sung by anybody
    or Morning Train (Sheena Easton)
    

    "Rock the Casbah"....yuck.  I have to turn off my radio when I hear
    that one.

    re. .34
    
    Oh yes, how could I forget that one!

    I agree with Mike Ryan that "Having My Baby" is the number-1
    gag inducer.  However, just about all of the "teen death songs",
    including "Patches" which I don't think has been mentioned, are
    good candidates.
    
    Anyone who listens to the syndicated "Doctor Demento" radio show
    will have a long list of "terrible songs", though many were
    intended to be bad.  The two I can think of that were serious
    (I think) attempts that failed miserably includes one that tends
    to top the lists of "worst songs of all time" - "Fluffy".  (It's
    about a woman whose little dog gets lost.)
    
    My vote for "worst rendition of a decent song" goes to William
    Shatner talking his way through "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."
    
    Many "bubble-gum" songs are revolting to me, such as "Puppy Love".
    
    And "Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight"
    dates from the 1920s.  Another interesting candidate is "Drop-kick
    Me Jesus Through the Goalposts of Life."
    
    				Steve

    Steve,
    
    In re William Shatner's "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds". I
    heard that on the radio one morning along with two other
    cuts from the same l.p. I agree that it is *horrible* but
    the other two that were played at the same time -  Lenard Nimoy 
    singing "Proud Mary" and Jack Webb talking his way through "Try
    a Little Tenderness" were almost as bad! No one to whom I mentioned 
    the songs when I got to work would believe that I had heard them!
    
    My first thought was the the people who agreed to do songs for
    the collection had to be getting serious money for it or were 
    totally stoned.
    
    Bonnie

    One song that I HATE that everyone else seems to love is "Total
    Eclipe of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler (sp?)
    
    "Turn around...Turn around...etc. etc."
    
    Hearing that song 5 times a day (I worked in a record dept. at the
    time) was bad enough, but the lyrics were, to me, MONOTONOUS.
    
    K.C.

    Can I *possibly* be the only one who hates the 
    "Don't Worry, Be Happy" song???!!!  
    
        $ SET IRRITATION_FACTOR=(astronomical)
    
    Blech!      :-(
    

    I just remembered that I have a cassette tape in my desk of "World's
    Worst Records".  I'm listening to it now.  Some are "normal" songs
    done badly, some are just bad to begin with.  Here's the list:
    
    	The Crusher
    	Big Girls Don't Cry
    	I Want my Baby Back
    	I Like
    	Kazooed on Classics
    	Fluffy
    	Paralyzed
    	I Wanna Be Your Dog
    	Boogie Woogie Amputee
    	Kinko the Clown
    	Umbassa and the Dragon
    	Ugly
    	Surfing Tragedy
    	Young at Heart
    
    If some demented person wants to borrow this, let me know.
    
    		Steve

    re:.39
    
    I haven't even HEARD the tune but I'm tired of seeing the title
    on just about every whiteboard in this facility!!
    
    am

    Having just heard Big Girls Don't Cry, I Want My Baby Back
    and Fluffy over the telephone let me encourage anyone who is
    curious *not* to bother!
    
    they have a very high Gag factor.
    
    Bonnie

    Gee, Bonnie - you only heard the first two verses of "Fluffy"!
    There was LOTS more!
    
    				Steve

    That song should be registered as a *lethal* weapon!
    
    It is worse than fingernails on a blackboard!
    
    Bonnie

    RE .39 - No You are DEFINITELY not alone!  I stopped listening to
    WAAF the day I heard that song on their "Top 5 at 5!"  Reggae (to
    me) has no place in polite society! ;^)
    
    And also high on my worse song list is any song that ends something
    like:
    
    (Singer): "And I just want to beeeeee..."
    (Audience): "Yeah!" "Wooooo!"  "Sing it!"  "Amen!"
    
    (Singer): "Yeah, I just want to beeeeee..."
    (Audience):  "Do it!"  "Right on!"  "Talk to me!"
    
    (Singer): "Yeah I just want to beeeeee..."
    
    (Ad Nauseum!)
    
    Jack

    re: .39
    
    Nope, you're not the only one by a long shot.  Gad!  Is this to
    be post-Marley reggae?
    
    re: Short People by Randy Newman:  it was written as a dig at
    prejudice, not, by the composer's own words, to be taken seriously.
    
    From the Songs Lots of People Love But I Hate Because I Hated Having
    to Play Them Department:
    
    Wild Thing		The Trogs
    
    Brown Sugar		The Rolling Stones - my doctor tells me that
    			if I play so much as one measure one more time
    			I'll die instantly of song-overexposure.  I
    			believe him.
    
    Sugar Sugar		The Archies:  Barfo Barfo
    
    There are others, but having already admitted playing all of the
    above has caused me enough embarrassment for the nonce (though
    in fairness to myself, I'd add that I played the last one only
    at gunpoint :-D )
    

    Gee, I rather like "dead teen-ager" songs (Billy & Sue; I Want my Baby
    Back; Teen Angel - which I first heard sung by Liberace, believe it or
    not; Tell Laura I Love Her; and, the best of them all, "Last Kiss":
    "...the cryin' tires, the bustin' glass, the painful scream that
    I heard last. <oooh>..."). 
    
    I heartily agree with the nominations of "Honey", "Feelings", and "To
    All the Girls I've Loved" as deluxe gag-orama songs, though. 
    
    And, while I generally love 50's music, I recently realized what
    horrible advice is contained in the ditty, "Wishin' and Hopin'":
    "Just do it, and after you do, you will be his..."
    
    Glad to see a mention of "Drop-kick me, Jesus," a long-time favorite
    of mine; glad to see people are familiar with the classics!
    
    -b

    I've always been a rebel....
    
    Stairway to Heaven & American Pie (ACK, GAG, PUKE, SNORT, YUKKERS!!)
    

    Re: .33
    
    Speaking of Sheena Easton -- the terrible remake that she and Kenny
    Rogers did of "We've Got Tonight."  Upchuck city.
    
    Re: .46
    
    That's not post-Marley.  As I recall, the song is done by Ziggy
    Marley and the MelodyMakers (whose members are also Marley's children).

    Speaking of Dr. Demento and classic bad songs, I just thought
    of my #1_with_a_bullet_worst_song_that_will_cause_me_to_run_
    screaming_from_the_room: "Fish Heads" by Barnes & Barnes.
    
    re:.49
    
    If you're referring to "Don't Worry, Be Happy", no, it's not
    by any Marleys; it's by Bobby McFerran.
    
    A lot of folks seem to hate the song. I don't like it, myself,
    but I don't find it repulsive, either. It's annoying to not be
    able to turn around without tripping over the phrase, though.
    
    --- jerry

    	Well, I agree with a *lot* of the songs mentioned so far, but
    	one I haven't seen yet (that has always been high on my "Gags
    	of All Time" list) is ...  (uck!) ...
    
    
    		"Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I've Got Love in My Tummy" !
    
    	(I'm as romantic as the next person, but this song has to be
    	one of the dumbest love songs ever written!)  :-)
    

  do any of you remember a tear jerking classic called "Death Of An
  Angel" by Donald Woods? Also "Hound Dog" by anybody....I can't see
  any reason for either of these to exist.

    
    
    I LOVE the song 'Run, Joey, Run' -  I think it is a really good
    song!  As far as the worst songs.....I ABSOLUTELY HATE the song
    'Don't Worry Be Happy'!!!!
    
    Tracy
    
    

    A friend of mine (non-DECie) has nominated "Dirty Diana" by the
    Gloved one.  I also tried to get my husband involved, but all he
    would say was "any Madonna song", which I have already stated.
    
    I absolutely LOVE this topic!  Even if I do like some of the songs
    named on it, its fun to hear what others think.  
    
    Oh, someone mentioned Disco-ized rock (Pink Caddilac).  How about
    Rap-ed rock?  (Boy, I had to be careful with that one! ;-) )
    
    		Walk This Way
    		Wipeout
    		The Twist
    
    Especially Walk This Way.  Even if they DID have the group backing
    it, I shrivel when I hear it!
    
    K.C.-who-likes-Don't-Worry,-Be-Happy-and-doesn't-listen-to-Top-
    40-Radio-stations.

    What, no one has listed Macho Man by the Village People!!  I know, it's
    so bad everyone has put it out of their minds.
    
    This is sure to raise some comments, but... whoever told Bob Dylan he
    could sing ought to be shot!  The man's voice makes my skin crawl.
    
    re .9 - Hey Alan, you must have been on the same beach in '76!?!  
    Afternoon Delight sure brings back memories....ahhh, young love... ;-)
    
    Conni

    There's this French song, about 15 years old, which is supposed
    to have gone round the world, and which I find completely nauseating:
    
    in French		Le Telephone pleure	sung by Claude Francois
    
    in Italian		Piange il Telefono	sung by Domenico Modugno
    
    in English, should be something like "The Telephone cries..."
    
    It's the story of a man who calls his ex-wife on the phone and gets
    his daughter (whom he has never seen) on the line ... he then starts
    to moan on the phone, and the ladies in the audience pull out their 
    handkerchiefs!
                  
    Utterly sickening.
    
    Joana
    
    
    PS: "Tie a Yellow Ribbon, etc...", as mentioned by Jerry, is also
        pretty awful... It also got sung in Italian by Domenico
        Modugno... who used to sing the most beautiful old Italian 
        songs, but I guess they just didn't bring in enough money!

    Re .55, it's not Dylan's voice that made him famous but what he
    has to say (the lyrics).   Although, I've never found his voice
    to be irritating either.  I consider his "Lay Lady Lay" to be about
    the sexiest song ever recorded.
    
    Lorna
    

    how about "knock three times <knock> <knock> <knock>  on the ceiling if
    you love me"? And has anyone heard the album "pachabel's greatest hit"?
    it contains variations on p's canon over... and over... and over... (i
    still can't get one out of my head, the one where they added Tommy-like
    lyrics that sound like they were sung by a ghost: "touch me... hold
    me... oooh... ooooh..." 
    
    liz

    What about "I can help" by I don't know whom: if your child needs
    a daddy... Sounds like a big strong man offering his support to
    a stupid & helpless little girl.
    Another one (I don't know who does it either): "There's a stranger
    in MY house.... trying to take her away from me....Is she loving
    him in her heart while she's lying in MY bed..." something like
    this.
    re.58: Lorna, do you happen to know the cut off version (might also
    be some stage version) where he changed most of the lyrics; second
    verse goes:
    Forget this dance let's go upstairs
    Let's take a chance  who really cares
    Why won't you know you got nothing to prove
    It's all in your smile and the way you move
    
    it's really beautiful.
    
    pony
     +
    

    
    
    The original version of "Wild Thing" is another that I
     couldn't stand listening to.
    
    (What, no Gary Lewis and the Playboys made this note string ? ;*)
    
    R
    obin

    
    Puttin' on the Ritz by Taco
    
    
    eek!

    Any song by the Cars (except Drive).  Rick O'Casek can not sing
    to begin with, and then he releases a solo album???
    
    Icko Yuck Phooey Ack Arrrggg!
    
    K.C.

    Not sure if it's been mentioned, but "Of all the girls I've ever
    loved before" sung by Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias (sp?) has
    got to be the all time worst.
    	Linda

    Re .63, really?  I love the Cars and Ric Ocasek (altho "Drive" is
    probably my favorite, I liked all the songs on that album).  One
    of their songs, "You Are The Girl" has sentimental meaning for me.
     A guy who liked me once taped it and gave it to me to listen to
    saying that the song made him think of me.  I thought it was so
    romantic I even forgave the use of the word "girl"!
    
    But, we all have different tastes obviously :-)!
    
    Lorna
    

    ......Worst WOrst WORst WORSt WORST *WORST*....of all time!

    		Paul Anka's "Having My Baby"

    
    justme....jacqui

    			

    Beatles, Hey Jude
    
    ugh!
    jim
    

    I can take a few country songs - but really....
    
    "Drop kick me Jesus through the goalpost of life"
    "All my ex's live in Texas"
    "Sleepin' single in a double bed"
    "Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?"
    
    barb

    Ditto on  .67     I love early Beatles but any of
                      their drug-inspired-conceived-while-
                      meditating music (late 60's) makes me BARF!
    
    Also, ANY song by Van Halen
          ANY song by punk-rockers
          ANY, absolutely *ANY* rappin' song
    
    'scuze me...gotta run to the ladies room to pop my cookies.....

    
    	Gonna Let Her In (attempted by John Travolta).
    
    	Don't Worry Kyoko, Mommy's only looking for her hand
    	in the snow (Screached by Yoko Ono).
                                       
    	Guy Novello
    

    Why did we start this!!  I can't get "Run, Joey, Run" out of my
    head!
    
    -Tracy
    

    My all-time-gross-me-out-to-the-max song is:
    
       A Boy Named Sue
    
    What inanity!!!
    
    Nanci  

    I think a lot of what we are talking about is subjective personal
    taste, but there do seem to be some common threads - mainly songs
    that depict someone (usually the singer) as being particularly
    stupid, naive or with an attitude most of us find abhorrent (case
    in point, "Having My Baby")  Others are just plain ridiculous
    ("Drop-Kick me, Jesus...").
    
    For me, a majority of C+W songs fall into the ridiculous category,
    but probably the one song that will make me turn off the radio
    faster than any other is "Coward of the County".  I can't quite
    explain why, but I despise that song.
    
    				Steve

    Re .72
    
    Sorry about that, Tracy!  Since I typed the title I can't stop 
    humming it either, and I HATE that song!
    
    Re .71
    I used to have the Travolta one, gave it away (no wonder), and have
    completely forgotten 'til now!
    
    And another Yoko Ono loser "Kiss Kiss Kiss".  Barf Barf Barf!
    
    How about the Bertha Butt Boogie? (Bomp Bomp Bo-der-ump!)
    
    1/2 of the songs from the movie "Footloose".
    
    K.C.

       Well, I like reggae myself (went to the sunsplash in Jamaica last
       year). But I don't care for the new dance hall stylee, mon. It's
       getting too close to american gag-me pop.

       Speaking of gag-me pop, how about that Donna Summer song where
       she sounds like a live sex act. I first heard that in mixed
       company and actually got embarrassed. Thers's a reggae song like
       that too but I don't know what it's called.

       Also, ANYTHING by 101 Strings, but especially Beatles songs.

       And then there's always KISS and other groups that don't know how
       to play any musical instruments or sing. liesl

    RE: .75
    
    Was that Bertha Butt, one of the Butt sisters?
    
    
    
    How about anything done by Ray Stevens?
    
    Jodi-

    
    
    There is only one song that I will actually cringe to and will tempt
    me to run run out of the room if I hear it, and it's "Proud Mary" 
    as done by any wedding/lounge/party band.  Tina and Ike Turner 
    just barely made it tolerable way back when, but to hear someone 
    trying to scream it like Tina, forget it. 
    
    I'm surprise I haven't seen "Tip Toe Through the Tulips" by Tiny
    Tim listed in here, or maybe I missed it??!!
    
    Regards,
    Cherie

    Bertha's sisters, according to the song were:
    Betty Butt, Bella Butt and Bathsheba Butt!
    
    And the Donna Summer song in question was "I Feel Love".
    
    K.C.

    re: Donna Summer sex songs...
    
    "Love to Love You, Baby"
    
    
    
    "Oooooh, love to love you, baby"
    "Oooooh, love to love you, baby"
    "Oooooh, love to love you, baby"
    "Oooooh, love to love you, baby"...27 times! (with feeling) :^0
    
    
    Jodi-

    

    The all-time barf inducer .....
    
    
    Sonny and Cher 
    
    "I Got You, BABE!"
    
    
    BLAAAAAAAH!

    Anything by Wayne Newton!!!!!
    

    I Honestly Love You
      by Olivia Newton-John

    I Honestly Love You also is on my bad list... because it reminds
    me of a jerk for whom that used to be 'our song'.
    
    and I love the song Proud Mary in the original...I guess I am lucky
    not to have heard the versions you refer to..
    
    kind of like the slow derge-like version of Amazing Grace which
    should be sung fast to be good at all.
    
    Bonnie

    Anyone remember "Pillow Talk" by "Sylvia" (and someone else..)?
    That got banned by some radio stations.  I thought it was just stupid.
    
    "Sugar Sugar" by "The Archies" (a non-existant group)
    
    			Steve

    
    Speaking of Sylvia...'member "Sylvia's Mother Says" or something
    like that?
    
    Enough to put you to sleep.
    
    am
    
    

    re:.59
    
    "Pachabel's Greatest Hit" sounds a lot like the album from Rhino
    Records called "The Best of Louie Louie". It's almost (note:
    *almost*) worth listening to for "The Hallelouie Chorus".
    
    re:.74
    
    Funny, I despise "Coward of the County", mostly because it's so
    sanctimonious. The same idea was done in another, *much* better
    song, by the late-but-great Stan Rogers.
    
    As long as we're talking about bad C&W songs, how about "You
    Are the Reason Our Children Are Ugly"? (That's a real song!)
    
    --- jerry

    in re .88
    
    
    Jerry if you mean the song I remember as "Harris get your mare
    and take me home" then I very much agree with you..that song makes
    me cry almost as much as "First Christmas Away From Home"
    
    Bonnie

    re:.89
    
    Yes, "Harris and the Mare" is the one I was referring to.
    
    --- jerry

    ANYTHING by THE VILLAGE PEOPLE
    
    *retch*
    
    -Jody
    

    "Stand By Yer Man" by Tammy Wynette
    
    ....the old "just cuz he cheats on yuh and beats on yuh ain't
    no good reason to leave 'im" school of thought..
    
    --de
    

    Did anyone mention the Cake song...DOn't know the title but it goes
    lke this "Someone left the cake out in the rain, and I don't think
    that I can take it, cuz it took so long to bake it."  
    
    

    Hi Tanya,
    
    That's McArthur Park and yes, I believe it has been mentioned at
    least once.
    
    Bonnie

"Bad" by Michael Jackson (and I wished he'd put the piece back in his chin)

Jenna

    My younger sister mentioned "Aqualung" by Jethro Tull.  She said
    as soon as it comes on the radio she changes the station.

	re: MacArthur Park - the lyrics may be dumb, but you haven't
	lived till you've heard Maynard Ferguson's big band
	(instrumental) version...
	
	Mike

    .48
    
    The two songs you mentioned are a couple of my "old time favorites!"
     I'd hate to tell you what some of the others are!
    
    After reading ALL the replies so far, these are two that I haven't
    seen yet.
    
    LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER
    
    And another that goes like this, (I've forgotten the name)
    
    In a little while from now,
    When I'm not feeling any more sorrow.
    I promise myself to treat myself
    and visit a nearby tower.
    And climbing to the top
    To throw myself off
    In an effort to
    Make it clear to look
    At what's it's like when you're shattered.....
    
    Does anyone remember the name?
    
    Anna
    

    re .-1
    
    
    I remembered!!!  ALONE AGAIN, NATURALLY
    

    re -1
    
    
    
       Alone Again, Naturally
    
    
    
    Robin
    

    I s'pose I shouldn't rank on this one as playing it helped 
    me pay tuition for a couple of years (but I will anyway).
    
    Feelings
    
    Steve
    

    
    
    When they turn halfway decent songs into "Elevator Music"
    
    

    how about the one that goes
    	Cherish ... is the word ... ooh ooh ooh
    
    

    re: .99
    
    I agree with you, MacArthur Park by Maynard Ferguson is excellent.
    I have most of his albums, and that interpretation of the song is
    excellent.
    
    I still can't get over how Maynard manages to play most of his songs
    and solos into the upper registers the way he does on his trumpet.
    
    The song I mostly despise is Guns and Roses', Welcome to the Jungle,
    as sung on the MTV video awards. They looked like they all did five
    hits of acid before the performance.
    
    Tony S.

    RE: .100, .101  (Alone Again, Naturally)
    
    And it was done by a gentleman by the name of Gilbert O'Sullivan.
    
    
    Re: "MacArthur Park".
    
    It's funny that so many people have expressed their dislike for
    this song. Like Steve Lionel (although I don't know if I can say
    it's one of my all-time favorites), I happen to like the Richard
    Harris version very much.
    
    Harris once did an interview on the Johnny Carson show, circa
    1968, when the song first came out. (Of course I was only two
    years old then :-) ).
    
    He said that, while the name of the park is MacArthur Park, he
    kept singing "MacArthur's Park throughout the 7+ minute song.
    However, the cut came out so well, they decided to let it stay
    as it was.
    
    They figured it wasn't going to get any better, and who would notice
    the "s" at the end, anyway.
    
    From an earlier note, Dr. Hook did "Sylvia's Mother".
    
    One of the songs I like the least: "I Love A Rainy Night" by Eddie
    Rabbit.
    
      Alan
          

    re: .108
    
    Ferguson's okay, I guess, but give me Ray Anthony any day . . .
    
    --bonnie 

    
    anything by eddie rabbitt or the 101 strings...

    re:.107
    
    That's "Cherish" by The Association -- one of my favorite
    love songs.
    
    --- jerry

    "She's A Grand Old Flag" - brings back horrendous memories of Memorial
    Day in grade school
    
    
    Lorna
    

    anything by Jay and the americans...
    
    am

    Cat Scratch Fever - Ted Nugent (an ugly sight too)
    
    I Drink Alone, With Nobody Else - George Thoroughgood
                                       
    
    Oh Blah Dee, Blah Dah (spelling?) - The Beatles
                                        (altho, overall, I loved them,
                                         this song s****d)
    
    
    
    I will say that I think that both "MacArthur's Park" by Richard
    Harris, and "Cherish" by The Association were quite pretty and don't
    deserve to be represented here. :-)
    
    Lorna
     

    
    I happen to like OhBlaDee OhBlahDah...
    
    Does anyone remember the one from the first McCartney 
    LP "Smile Away"....?
    
    Does anyone remember Gary Puckett & the Union Gap, Bread,
    the Raiders, Freddie and the Dreamers...?
    
    Bleech!

    116 replies and no mention of:
    
    "Ode to Billie Joe"
    
    "Harper Valley PTA"
    
    "These Boots Were Made For Walking"
    
    
  

    Wildflowers by Trio
    Against All Odds by Phil Collins
    She's So Cold, and Shattered by the Rolling Stones
    I'll Choose You Again by the Forrester Sisters
    Manic Monday by the Bangles
    All Police/Sting after Ghost in the Machine
    Almost all Hooters
    All George Michael/ WHAM!
    All Grateful Dead
    All Romantics
    And what my husband and I fondly refer to as "The Glen Larson Singers",
    when TV shows have some studio people try to sound exactly like
    original performers doing hit song in the background (Usually TV
    shows produced by Glen Larson).
    
    K.C.

     One of the worst songs ever was song by the Police.  I think the title 
     is "I'll be watching you"  I'll hum a few bars...  

     	...every step you take, every breath you take, I'll be watching 
     		you...

     I liked the tune, but after I listen to the words I hated the song.

     I dislike most songs where one person can't exist without another
     one or one person owns another one.
    
    
     Robin
     

    <sigh> I've always suspected it, but now I'm sure. I've got weird
    taste in music... some of the songs mentioned here are some of my
    oldies favorites (Billy Don't Be A Hero, for one...) These songs
    bring back a lot of vivid memories...  ;-)
    
    My all-time least favorite, gag-me, make me leave the room stuff?
    Definitely any rap song. Especially anything by The Sugar Hill Gang.
    gag, barf, YUCK! 
    
    (My roommate, both in college and now, has one of The Sugar Hill
    Gang's albums. I remember going into my room and BLASTING The Doors
    to attempt to drown out the sound of this album.)
    
    -Amy.

    "Ruby, don't take your love to town..."  - Kenny Rogers
    
    "Wedding Bell Blues" (I think) - by ?
    Words go something like, "Won't cha marry me, Bill!"
    
    Lorna
    

    Re The Police, "Every Breath I Take", actually I think this song
    does a good job describing obsessive feelings.  I don't like obsessive
    feelings, but I like this song because people *do* have those feelings
    sometimes and this song describes them well.
    
    Lorna
    
    P.S.  Besides, Sting is so sexy.
    

    re: 116
    "Smile Away" I believe was from McCartney's 2nd album
    titled "Ram" which, according to Rolling Stone was one
    of the top worst albums of the year at the time.
    
    Now... buckets ready?  How 'bout "Hey, Hey Paula" by
    one of the most nauseating duos of all time - Paul and Paula
    Anybody remember that one???  I fear that after writing this,
    that dreaded song will be in my head all day.
    
    Sorry if I've made anyone vomit.
    
    - Kathryn
    

Re:  .121

>    "Wedding Bell Blues" (I think) - by ?
>    Words go something like, "Won't cha marry me, Bill!"

"Billllll...., I love you so, I always will,..."

(yeah, I guess the words were pretty trite).  Anyway, you got the title
correct.  Laura Nyro sang it back in the late 60's.  I'm not sure whether
or not she wrote it.

					--Q (Dick Wagman)

    I'm pretty sure Nyro wrote Wedding Bell Blues for a play or movie
    or TV show or something.  I remember her talking about it in an
    interview a couple of years ago, about the things you do to keep
    food in your mouth . . .   The Fifth Dimension had the biggest hit
    with it, however. 
    
    --bonnie

    re: .119
    
        Lorna (.122) was right about the song being a song of obsession.
    Sting said in an interview that he was amazed by the number of people
    who thought of it as a love song.  I think that is was a follow-up
    song to "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic", or it was followed
    up by another song.
    
    ASP

    I think I am the only person I know who cannot stand the song Free
    Bird.....
    
    another one I do not like is My name is Luka......
    

    Absolutely ANYTHING by DOLLY PARTON....only thing her music is good
    for is a replacement for epecac....you know, the stuff that makes
    you retch!!
    
    JayCee

    "The happiest Girl in the Whole USA"
    

    I don't know the title, but the song that Sting released after
    "I'll be watching you" was the one that goes ..... "free, free,
    set them free".
    
    He was on a MTV interview after the release and he said that after
    such a possessive song he wanted to do one completely opposite.
    
    
    Susan

    Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head
    
    Midnight at the Oasis
    

    Anything by Glen Campbell.

    re: .132
    
    Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head was written by Burt Bacharat but
    I'm not sure woh performed it.
    
    Midnight at the Oasis was performed by Maria Mauldar
    
    ASP

    Re .132
    Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head was recorded by B.J. Thomas. I'm
    pretty sure it was used in the movie "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance
    Kid".

    One of these have been mentioned before but...
    
    The 2 absolute worst songs I've ever heard are "Free Bird" (or anything
    by Lynyrd Skynyrd) and "Turn the Page" by Bob Seger.
    
    I also HATE "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin.
    And almost any Tom Petty song...
    
    (most people must think I am pretty wierd for that little outburst...)
    

    "You're So Vain"
    
    
    -Tracy (who never remembers who the artist is)
    
    

    
    
    	re: .-1
    
    	Carly Simon sang that, supposedly about Warren Beatty.
    
    	Someone once said that should be my theme song . . . who am
    	I to argue???  :^)
    
    	I really LIKE that song!
    
    	Sharon

                    [This one HAS to be added to the list]
                    
    I can't believe my all-time LEAST favorite song hasn't been 
    mentioned, and I really read all 139 notes !!!!!
    
    "PUT THE LIME IN THE COCONUT" By ????????
    
    Hers's a few lyrics to refresh the memories out there....
    
    "I said DOCTOR is there anything I can make to relieve this bellyache"
    " And he said "Put the lime in the coconut and mix them both together"
    "Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better"
    "And I said DOCTOR is there nothing I can make.. I said DOCTOR to
    relieve this bellyache...I cried DOCTOR"...
    
    Well you get the drift......  This has got to be the worst song
    of the 70's....
    
    Kathie
    
    A first time noter who couldn't let this opportunity get by....    
    
    

    Who could forget:
    
    OO-EE-OO-AH-AH
    TING-TANG-WALLA-WALLA-BING-BANG
    OO-EE-OO-AH-AH
    TING-TANG-WALLA-WALLA-BING-BANG
    
    The Witchdoctor Song by the Chipmunks!
    
    K.C.

    re: .142
    
    Tiny (chipmunk-sized) correction:  The Witch Doctor was by
    David Seville who later "became" the chipmunks.
    
    One I can't make up my mind about (like, maybe it's *so* bad
    that it's good. . .) is Teenage Enema Nurses in Bondage.
    
    Steve
    

    re: .143
    
    I suppose that's better than being in bondage to the enema nurses,
    teenage or otherwise.
    
    --bonnie 

    re .140, Lime in the Coconut", why did you have to remind me of
    that sickening song?  :-)
    
    Lorna
    

    Re: .142
    
    And, Steve, before he became David Seville, his "real" name was
    Ross Bagdasarian. 
    
    Who knows, he might have had a few others before that one, but I sort
    of doubt it. I mean, who would change one's name to *that*. (Jerry
    Boyajian, I mean no offense --- honest!!!!) :-)
    
      Alan

    re: .146
    
    Thanks for the tidbit, Alan.  And, tho' it's sort of a digression,
    one of the best "worst" stage names I can recall is Englebert
    Humperdinck.  That he worked for years under a different name
    as a relative unknown then achieved success when he changed it
    to E.H. tells us something about the human condition.
    
    I'm just not certain what.
    
    
    Steve
    

    re .147 (Engelbert Humperdinck)
    
    You're aware (I presume) that this wasn't a made-up absurd name,
    but instead a very famous (absurd) name, are you not?
    
    If not... 
    
    The "real" Engelbert Humperdinck was a composer known chiefly
    for the opera Hansel and Gretel. Not really much to recommend
    him over his modern namesake...

    Neil Diamond wanted to change his name to something more show-business!
    
    K.C.

    re:.146
    
    No offense taken. You think it's easy having a name that 90%
    of the population cannot pronounce without slow, careful
    instruction? :-)
    
    re:.147
    
    I'm not sure just what it says, either, but getting noticed
    and remembered is what counts, whether it takes calling yourself
    "Englebert Humperdinck", biting the necks of chickens on stage,
    or however you achieve it.
    
    --- jerry

    I like the DJ (or VJ; I can't remember which) that said that John
    Cougar changed his name to John Cougar Mellencamp, as if Mellencamp
    was a product of his imagination!
    
    But I digress:
    
    Another, to me, worse song, is:
    
    		"Sweet Child of Mine" - Guns & Roses
    				and
    	   "Fight For Your Right To Party" - Beastie Boys
    
    K.C.

    A new favorite worst song:  John Astley's "Let's Take off Our
    Clothes and Put Our Love to the Test."
    
    I haven't heard that line since freshman year!
    
    --bonnie

    Sloop John B by the Beachboys... 

    Green Tambourine by the Lemon Pipers.  To this day I CAN NOT listen
    to that song!                        
    
    K.C.

    Re .153, hey, "Sloop John B" is my favorite Beachboys song!
    
    It had special meaning to me when I was in basic training in the
    WACS - "this is the worst trip I've ever been on".  Some things
    deserve to be whined about.
    
    Lorna
    

    For my money, Lionel Richie's "Say You, Say Me" is dreck.  The first
    time I heard it, I couldn't believe anyone would actually record
    such a song.  Sophomoric drivel, musically and lyrically.
    
     Of course it was a hit. :-)
    
    Rodney M.

  Mike Dukakis playing "Happy Days Are Here Again" on the trumpet.

    Bert Parks singing the Miss America theme song...

    "There she is, your ideal!"
    
    
    
    The theme song from "Mr. Ed", the talking horse.
    
    
    
    
    Almost all rap music.  If I were forced to listen to it for any
    length of time, I think I'd go crazy and start murdering strangers
    at random.
    
    
    Lorna
    

    Re: .158
    
    But Lorna, did you know that if you play the "Mr. Ed" theme
    backwards, you hear "Someone sung this song for Satan"?  At
    least so one minister claimed.... :-)
    
    			Steve

    Re -.1
    
    Prince once put some "back-masking" (?) on a song, and if you played
    it backwards, it sang:
    
    	"Hello, how are you? I am fine because the Lord is coming! Ha
    	ha ha ha ..."
    
    It is on the end of "Darling Nikki" on the Purple Rain album.
    
    K.C.

    
    how does one play a record backwards??? my record players only go
    in one direction.
    
    curious in marlboro
    liz

    Re: .161
    
    The easy way is to not turn on the turntable and spin the platter
    backwards by hand.  This unfortunately is hard to do at a steady
    speed and complicates the search for secret messages. 
    
    However, the "pros" do it with a reel-to-reel tapedeck by threading
    the tape around the capstan backwards, and the tape will go steadily
    in the reverse direction.  I tried this many times while I worked
    at a radio station during college, during the "Paul is dead" craze.
    Playing "Revolution #9" backwards is interesting, but doesn't reveal
    anything particularly enlightening.
    
    My view is that the human mind is very good at finding order in
    randomness, and it is very easy to convince someone that they are
    hearing a "backwards masked" message if you tell them in advance
    what they are listening for.  Except for the few cases of such
    messages being inserted as a joke, I am convinced that the great
    furor about Satanic messages being prevalent in rock songs is
    utter hogwash.
    
    				Steve

    Unfortunately, many turntable cartridges do not appreciate having
    record spun backwards (those designed for DJ's and radio stations
    can because they are used for "slip queuing"). So before you try
    to listen for hidden satanic messages, think of your cartridge and
    stylus.
    
    Eric

    re .161

    I once had an old AR manual turntable - back in the sixties when they
    came with two motors, one to start it up, one to keep it going. If you
    manually spun the platter backwards, then turned it on, it would just
    play backwards at exact speed.

    Most entertaining (if hard on the stylus). I've never run into any
    other turntables that could do this.

Re:  last few, on listening backwards

Perhaps the best solution is to find a very early vintage stereo two track
reel to reel tape recorder.  If you played a tape through on one of these and
then just flipped the reel over, you heard everything backwards, without
damaging anything.  I'm not aware of any consumer oriented tape decks avail-
able today, however, that can do this.  (Does anyone else out there know of
one?)

Winding the tape backwards onto a (typical modern) reel will get the tape
played backwards, but since the tape heads will contacting the inert tape
backing instead of the the metallic surface, the play back is liable to be
quite poor.

					--Q

    What distinguishes utter hogwash from the regular kind?

    At the risk of sounding (correctly) like I don't think
    spatially, can't you turn the turntable on and put the
    tone-arm on the other side of the central spindle?  (Assuming
    it will go that far.)  If I'm not thinking completely
    backwards, that ought to allow the needle to "push" through
    the grooves instead of being "pulled" through them.

    -- Linda

    Re: .166
    
    Purity.

    RE: .167
    
    Yes, but Linda, the record will *still* continue to be tracked
    by the stylus in a clockwise (normal) direction.
    
    When I was a kid, I had a phonograph that I could do this to.
    The record still played "frontwards". (Although, I admit, back
    then, I couldn't figure out why it didn't play backwards.)
    
      Alan

re .169

    Alan, I may nominate your note as a shining example of how to
    say "no, you're wrong" in a positive way!

    -- Linda

    I think radio station turntables rotate in both directions - that's
    how DJ's cue 'em up exactly to the begining groove. Presumably,
    you;d need a turntable like that in order to play a record backwards.
    
    (I always used to wonder how kids "found out" what happened when
    you played the "White Album" backwards, since my turntable wouldn't
    do it!)
    
    --DE
    

    Re : .166
    
    Utter hogwash is hogwash about cows. 
    
    Dee

Radio station turntables come in two varieties: one has a very powerful
motor and a heavy, slightly slippery turntable surface.  The DJ/engineer
starts the turntable and lets the record play (feeding only earphones) until
the song starts.  Then, the record is held (turntable still moving), 
and pulled back to just before the start.  The DJ/engineer releases
the record about 1/4 second before the music starts, turning up
the volume control after the record comes up to speed.  (This is an
art form, and more so if you're trying to read the news at the same time.)

The other variety (especially for classical music) uses an electromagnetic
clutch. The needle is positioned, and the turntable moved *forward only* just
enough to verify that the needle is in the silent run-in band.  The
clutch brings the record up to speed in about 1/4 second.  This is
much gentler on the record and turntable pickup.

Most modern pop-music radio stations copy their records to a special
tape cassette that has an automatic cueing mechanism.  Push the button
and it's on the air.  A station will typically have several cassette
players, using them for music and commercial announcements.  The cassettes
are quite unlike home tape recorder cassettes.  CD players simplify
the problem for classical music stations.

Martin.

    Re: .173
    
    Your first method is known as a 'slip cue' -- best for tight segues
    but yes, you do have to be good.  It's also more complicated handling
    the board, especially if you have automatic startup when you open
    a channel (since channels are assigned to specific equipment) and
    timer clocks.  You had to start the turntable going in order to
    cue the record.  If you did it without opening the channel and then
    opened it, the effect was turning the turntable off -- which ruins
    a tight segue completely.  But if you put it on the cue channel
    and start the turntable by opening the channel, it restarts the
    timeout clock and you can lose track of when the current song ends
    (also not useful when trying a tight segue).
    
    We usually backed the record up about a quarter turn and opened
    the channel/started the turntable up about a half-second early.
    By the time the needle reached the start, the turntable was going
    at full speed.
    
    Just what everyone was dying to discover, I'm sure ....

    More loser songs:
    
    "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor (Rocky #? theme)
    "Eye in the Sky" by Alan Parsons Project (The ONLY song by them
    					     that I don't like!) 
    
    K.C.

    "Keep Your Filthy Hands Off My Desert" - Pink Floyd  (It's not really
    a song, but I can not listen to it).
    
    K.C.

    Now people, no one has yet mentioned my personal favorite by Lita
    Horn(spelling?).
    	
    	I'm not sure of the title of the song, but the song begins with:"
    
    " I went to a party on a Saturday night, I didn't didn't get laid,and
    I didn't get laid, IT AIN'T NO BIG THING"
    
    	There is some considerable lyric writing talent here!  
    	
    							Mark
                 

    re:.177
    
    That's probably Lita Ford.
    
    --- jerry

    I have the album, and the line is "I didn't get laid...etc."
    
    Not the best song on the album by far!
    
    K.C.

    As bad as the lyrics are, I have to admit that I usually don't change
    the TV dial from MTV.  You will note that MTV edited the "laid"
    part out of the video when it first premiered.  I think her looks
    helped her considerably.

    
    How could anyone forget: Love Potion Number 9
    Also, on the radio yseterday I heard a horrific version of a terrible
    song that I hadn't heard since we played it on recorder in third
    grade: Jean ("Jean, Jean, you're young and alive..." - more than
    you can say for the song)
    
    Roberta
    

    in re .183
    
    
    Bonnie Jean is "my song"
    
    
    humph!

    re .183, .184, is that a Rod McKuen song?  If it's the one I'm thinking
    of it's probably his version of it that .183 hates.  He can't really
    sing.  But, I wouldn't say one of the worst of all time - just mediocre
    :-).
    
    I thought of one more obnoxious song from the past.  Did anyone
    else mention "Tie Me Kangaroo Down"?
    
    Lorna
    

Without a doubt, the song I hate most in the world
is "Seasons in the Sun", as in:
      "Goodbye, Michelle, it's hard to die
       when all the birds are singing in the sky"

I have no idea who sang it, but it was popular when I was
in 4th grade, 1974 or so, I guess. 

Even "Billy don't be a hero" isn't this bad.

    Re .186, I had forgotten that song.  I thought it was pretty stupid,
    too, and I never could figure out why he was dying, or what was
    going on.  In fact, I thought it was "Goodbye, my friend..." but
    Michelle makes more sense.
    
    You were in the 4th grade in 1974 - my God, how depressing!  I was
    24, married and had a baby!  Interesting, how reminiscing about
    songs brings out age differences.
    
    Lorna
    

    Lorna, :-) in 1974 I turned 30, and had three kids! :-)
    
    Bonnie

    The song to which you refer is
    
    Seasons in the Sun
    by Terry Jacks
    
    
The verses started out:
    Goodbye to you my (precious? special?) friend...
    Goodbye Papa please pray for me...
    Goodbye Michelle, my little one...
    
I could probably spew all the lyrics, but I think I'll decline...
    
    -Jody (who possesses a vast wealth of useless knowledge)

       re .188:
       
       > in 1974 I turned 30 and had three kids! 
       
       A busy year for you, indeed.

    
    Bonnie, in 1974 I turned __, but I only had two kids.
    
    Nyah, nyah.
    
      Alan

    Don,
    
    Their ages were 5, 2 and 1....then of course there was the spring
    we added 6 kids to the family
    
    
    
    each of our goats had twins.
    
    and in re Alan
    
    I know how old you are/were......shall I tell?
    
    Bonnie

    I turned 10 near the end of 1974.  And I LOVED that song!  I cry
    whenever I hear it.  Also, in school, two girls danced to the song
    at a talent show (danced isn't the right word; mimed would be better)
    and it was a beautiful skit.  One of my few fond school memories.
    
    A song that I hated (at about that time, give or take) was Kung
    Fu Fighting.
    
    K.C.

    I think this one may already have been mentioned (but if so,
    it's worth a reprise. . .), but reading the last few about
    seasons in the sun, etc. reminded me of. . .
    
    
    Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey"  Does anyone else remember a Smothers
    Brothers send-up of the song (including guided tours through
    "the Honey House" and ". . .here's the Honey Husband. . .")?
    
    Steve
    

    Steve,
    
    I mentioned that one waaayyyy back in the beginning of this mess.
    
    It is my all time least favorite song.
    
    Bonnie

       Speaking of seasons, it's the time for seasonally bad songs.

       Anything by the Chipmonks (argh!!!) and the dogs who bark out
       "jingle bells". I'm ready to puke over the xmas muzack in the
       mall and it's not even the middle of December yet. liesl

    re: Jingle Bells by The Rovers
    
         I love the dogs barking out Jingle Bells, of course then again
    I love the Henhouse Five plus Two version of "In The Mood" done
    with people clucking like chickens.
    
    ASP

    
    No fair - you beat me to it!  If I never hear the barking dogs again,
    it will be too soon.
    
    Almost all 'novelty' Xmas songs get old fast.  Add "Grandma got
    runover by a reindeer" to the list, too.
    
    			Alison
    

    Has anyone heard the new Guns and Roses tune?      
                                                       
    The chorus runs ...                                
                                                       
    "I used to love her, but I had ta kill her..."     
                                                       
    Maybe it's a joke, maybe not.  They sure did pick a rotten time
    of year to release it.  Yeah, peace on earth and good will to you,
    too, buddy.                                                       
                                   
    Helen                          

    I said it earlier, but IMO, ANY G&R song fits this topic!
    
    and speaking of Christmas song:
    
    This week on WCGY on the Comedy Stop they are playing Christmas
    novelty songs.  So far (and all fit in this topic; they are terrible!):
    
    "There is something in my chimney and I don't know what it is and
     its been there all (night, week, year) long..."
    
    "Oh come all ye Grateful Deadheads to the concert" (to the tune
     of "Oh Come All Ye Thankful")
    
    "The restroom door said Gentlemen" (to the tune of "God Rest Ye
     Merry Gentlemen")
    
    K.C.

    Me again! 
    
    How could I forget Sam Kinison's "remake" of "Wild Thing"?
    
    K.C.

    Forgive me, all of you R.E.M. fans, but "Orange Crush" has got to
    be one of the worst songs out right now.  Did the writer fall asleep
    after the first verse or something?
    
    K.C.

    I hate that insipid remake of "Locomotion."  I hate it when remakes
    are released that aren't anywhere near as good as the original version,
    and this one isn't!  That blonde should be on the cover of Seventeen,
    not trying to copy Little Eva!  (She looks so vain prancing around
    in the video I could just puke, too! :-) )
    
    Re .202, I sort of like "Orange Crush" but I'm very vague as to
    what it's about.  Someone told me agent orange.
    
    Lorna
    

       
           "Have a Hully Gully Christmas" 

           The saccharine-insipid words and nauseatingly obtuse tempo
           combine with the annual conspiratorial ubiquity of this
           carcinogen to make this one of the world's great 2-minute
           disasters.  Little do you realize, an hour or even a day
           after you've been to a restaurant or store or bar where this
           billiousness got played, that it's playing over and over in
           your head while your trying to get some work done. 
       
           Besides, Burl is a stupid name. 
       
           --Mr Topaz 

    Re .204
    
    FYI, its "Holly Jolly Christmas", and I haven't heard it once this
    season.
    
    K.C.

    
    RE: Bonnie Jean
    
    Sorry, Bonnie. No offense intended. I guess I hate that song because
    we had to play it no recorder in elementary school.
    
    Re: Seasons in the Son
    
    I remember having a friend explain that the words were about a boy
    going off to war. It seemed pretty heavy back then (I was 9 though).
    
    Roberta
       
    P.S. I haven't heard H.J. Christmas either this year. I did hear
    "Let It Snow", but it's so corny and innocent (he leaves when it
    gets late even though it's storming outside and he'd be better off
    just crashing on the couch (at least)) I love it!
    

     I remember Seasons in the Son was about a boy and his dieing dog....
    Or it was explained that way to me... Gee I haven't heard that one
    in a looong time... 
    
     The song I still can't get out of my mind is"Timothy" but the
    Bouys. I'm still trying to find the words to that song. Its about 
    being trapped in a mine cave-in with 3 people and 2 of them eating
     the other one or something like that....
    
    
                     REK

I always though that Seasons in the Sun was about a young man
who grew up sort of wild, turned to crime and either was about
to die due to a crime or was going to be exceuted for his crime.

It has been a long time,  I just remember not feeling sorry for him.

ken

    I thought it was about a guy who had cancer or something (sort of
    came out around the time of "Brian's Song" or "Love Story" or
    something).
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
      Sorry.  I warned you.  I told you that I remembered them.  Now,
    just when you thought it was safe to go back in the file...here
    they are.  GAAAH!
    
    Seasons in the Sun - by Terry Jacks
    	(an exercise in recollection - says I)
    
    Goodbye to you my childhood friend
    We've known each other since we were nine or ten
    ??????
    ??? and climbing trees
    Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees
    Goodbye, my friend, it's hard to die
    When all the birds are singing in the sky
    Now that the spring is in the air
    Pretty girls are everywhere
    Look for me and I'll be there
    We had joy, we had fun
    We had seasons in the sun
    But the stars we could reach
    Were just starfish on the beach
    
    Goodbye Papa please pray for me
    I was the black sheep of the family
    You tried to teach me right from wrong
    Too much wine and too much song
    Wonder how we got along
    Goodbye Papa it's hard to die
    When all the birds are singing in the sky
    Now that the spring is in the air
    Pretty flowers everywhere
    Look for me and I'll be there
    We had joy, we had fun 
    We had seasons in the sun
    But the wine and the song
    Like the seasons, have all gone
    
    Goodbye, Michelle, my little one
    You gave me love and helped me find the sun
    You helped me up when I was down
    You would always come around
    Put my feet back on the ground
    Goodbye, Michelle, it's hard to die
    When all the birds are singing in the sky
    Now that the spring is in the air
    Pretty flowers everywhere
    Look for me and I'll be there
    We had joy we had fun
    We had seasons in the sun
    ??????
    Were like seasons out of time

    We had joy we had fun
    We had seasons in the sun
    But the wine and the song
    Like the seasons have all gone
    All our lives we had fun
    We had seasons in the sun
    But the stars that we'd reach
    Were just starfish on the beach
    
    etc.... fadeout

    
    (if anyone can fill in the blanks, feel free to - I lost the '45
     of it when I was 11)

re .204

	A curse on you, since reading your reply, I can't get that
	stupid tune out of my head either.

					Tom_K

Re:< Note 199.209 by LEZAH::BOBBITT "Wreck the Malls w/ Cows on Harleys" >
    
>    Goodbye to you my childhood friend
>    We've known each other since we were nine or ten
>    ??????
>    ??? and climbing trees
>    Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees

I think it's: 

  Goodbye to you, my childhood friend
  We've known each other since we were nine or ten
  Together we climbed hills and trees
  Learned of love and ABC's
  Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees


ARGGH! How come I can remember this crap but can't remember
anything I'm _supposed_ to remember?!

    >We had joy we had fun
    >We had seasons in the sun
    >??????
    >Were like seasons out of time
     
    I think it's: but the hills that we climbed

    
    My vote for the worst Radio Show is Barry Scott and the
    "Lost 45's" on WZLX.  A song is not "lost" without good
    reason! 
    
    However, the worst music has to be anything by Michael Jackson.
    Overproduced, hyped, and shallow. 
                                      
    Worst individual song = "Loving you....aaaaaaahhhh..aaahhhhh"
                             by Minnie Riperton
                                                        
    

    Re:213 I totally disagree with you!!! I enjoy that shoe every week,
    in fact there are a lot of people who listen to it. There are a
    lot of one night singles that were played back when I was young
    that I had forgotten and when they are played I  can remember the
    times and what that song meant to me.
    
    By the way, how "old" are you? I'm 34 1/5 going on 25 again. I notice
    that some kids of my friends don't like that show because of the
    "Golden Oldies" that they play......
    
                   REK
    
    OK So I'm over 30..... Trust me.....!!!

    how about.......
    
    
    
    tada da dum....
    
    
    "Shaving Cream"???  It went something like this...
    
    the baby fell out of the window, you'd think that her head would
    be split.
    
    
    But good luck was with us that morning, she fell in a bucket
    of 
    
    shaving cream--be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll  always
    look keen!!!!
    
    
    
    YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK
    
    
    KC

    Also, Cracklin rosie, or any Neil Diamond stuff
    
    
    

    I should consolidate my answers, but they keep coming to me--
    
    
    "That s the way, uh huh uh uhuh, I like it, uh huh, uh hu..."
    
    
    KC and the sunshine band
    
    
    gag
    

    Just when you thought it was safe to turn on the radio. . .
    
    "Shake, shake, shake,
     Shake, shake, shake,
     Shake your bootie."
    
    Hey, buddy. . .shake *this*. . .
    
    Steve
    
    (with humility:  recordings released last week under the Freedom_of_
    Useless_Information_Act make it impossible for me to deny having
    played this tune before allegedgly live audiences; the things one
    does in working through college. . .)

    "Baby I Love Your Way/Freebird Medley".
    
    The first Time I heard that, I thought I was going to be sick!
    
    "Wild Thing" - Tone Loc
    "My Perogative" - Bobby Brown
    
    K.C. (the OTHER one) 

    
    >  "Baby I Love Your Way/Freebird Medley"
    >  "My Perogative" - Bobby Brown
    
        I hate these too!!
    
    >  "Wild Thing" - Tone Loc
    
        But I love this one - great song for deep bass, and a catchy
        song!!
    
                                                       Shawn L.
    
    

        There's a new song out called "Butt Funking" that's being played
    lately.  I can't stand it, when I start to hear it the headphones
    are taken off and I leave my cube for a little walk to get water
    or something.
    
    ASP

    
        RE: -1
    
                 "Butt Funkin'"?
    
                 Ha ha!!
    
                                                       Shawn L.
    

    This may be a little after-the-fact, but I LOVED seasons
    in the sun.  I was 5 at the time, and it was just my favorite...
    It was a toss up between that and Little Willy.
    Remember Little Willy Willy won't go home?"
    
    Ok, here's one for ya.  I bet nobody remembers this one...
    
    Run Joey Run???
    
    ("Daddy please don't... it wasn't his fault, he means so much to
    me... Daddy please don't...we're gonna get mar--ried, just you wait
    and see...")
    
    The worst!
    
    Stacie
    
    Anyone remember that one?

    Re .223
    
    I suggest, for grins, reading ALL of the previous notes in this
    topic, and see HOW MANY people remember Run Joey Run!
    
    K.C.

    
    I don't believe it, Doctah! You're actually right about something
    for once! :^)
    
    Roberta

    I'm not really too sure of the words but it went something like
    this:
    
    Billy don't be a hero
    Don't be a fool with your life
    Billy don't be a hero
    Come home and make me a wife
    
                                    -sunny-

    Re .227
    
    Yes, Billy Don't Be A Hero.  I used to sing it Billy, Please Be
    A Hero.
    
    Re .earlier
    Its Run, JOEY, Run.  I have a copy at home.  (It is on one of those
    K-tel albums, given to me as a gift.)
    
    K.C.

    I cannot believe it!  I just read through ALL the replies, and NO
    ONE mentioned all time barfola - "The Men in My Little Girls Life"
    by Mike Douglas! (Daddy, there's a boy outside...)
    
    Or the anthem to ennui - "Is That All There Is?" by Peggy Lee
    

    Re:  232
    
    I do remember Run Joey, Run.  Ugh!!  
    
    Also remember Billy, don't be a hero.  Can't believe I used to listen
    that stuff.
    
    More present, I CAN'T STAND the song that constantly repeats,
    "What I am is what I am......"  She sounds like she is moaning
    or in terrible pain.  YUCK!!!
    
    d
    

    Re.>what I am is what...
    
    Sounds like 'Terrapin Station' (Grateful Dead) meets Popeye

    
      How about Butcher Baby by the Plasmatics? Someone mentioned
    It's My Party, but you have to hear Bryan Ferry's version of it
    to really appreciate the original. For all you Eno fans out there
    how about Babies on Fire (better throw her in the water...) hmm.
    
    John

Re:  .235

>   None of the following items are actually songs,...

>   Gary, Indiana

Wrong!  (But actually, I would list this song in this category in any
event...)

						--Q (Dick Wagman)

    re .235
    
    >  Sushi
    
    Aw, Mike, I bet you're afraid of quiche, too, right?

    re: .235 Sushi
    
    The Tubes did do a song called "Sue Sue Sushi", is that close enough?
    
    ASP

    Is it my imagination or did I recall seeing a song that was listed
    as:
    
    'Going Down'  the Tubes.
    
    

    re: .240
    
>    'Going Down'  the Tubes.

        Only if its on one of their later albums.  You might be confusing
    it with "Up From The Deep".
    
    ASP

    re .238, that's the most disgusting thing I've ever read in a
    notesfile.  I feel like throwing up. 
    
    Lorna
    

     Well, actually, it was raw fish, not sushi (seaweed wrapped rice
    patties). I can't remember what kind, but it wasn't sashimi (raw tuna).
    The patient had abdominal pains, the doctor thought it was an appendix.
    When he opened the patient up, the appendix was fine. He saw what he
    thought was a piece of white string- but it moved. It did not "crawl
    onto the operating table."
    
    The Doctah

        I don't know Japanese, but all the Japanese restaurants I've
    been to out here in the San Francisco/San Jose area use sashimi
    to describe any variety of raw fish.  I do visit a lot of Japanese
    restaurants too.
    
    ASP

    <--(.243)
    
    Mark, your description is of maki, not sushi in general.  Nigiri (or,
    to be polite, onigiri) sushi doesn't necessarily involve seaweed at all
    (it's usually a gop of rice with a bit of raw whatever just draped over
    it), and tekka maki is made up into a cone of seaweed rather than
    rounds from a sliced-up roll.  There's yet another kind too, whose name
    escapes me at the moment, which looks fundamentally like a casserole
    and is typically made up with an egg base.  
    
    For a real taste treat, try unagi (the onigiri form, not unagi maki)
    next time:  broiled eel.  Yummers!
    
    						=maggie 

    Thanks for the additional info re: those japanese taste treats. As one
    who catches rather than eats (for the most part) I am aware of only a
    few areas. I had been corrected for calling raw tuna sushi, and he
    explained to me that sushi generally consisted of rice wrapped in
    seaweed. he said that the raw tuna was called sashimi. (We were tuna
    fishing at the time.)
    
    I just wanted to dispel the sci-fi nature of a creature crawling from
    one's chest. 
    
    The Doctah
    

>          -< Does this mean that my poetic license will be revoked? >-
    
    No. Just a 15 day waiting period. Can't infringe on free speech, ya
    know. :-)
    
    The Doctah

           <<< RAINBO::$2$DJA6:[NOTES$LIBRARY]WOMANNOTES-V2.NOTE;1 >>>
                        -< Topics of Interest to Women >-
================================================================================
Note 199.249                    Worst Songs Ever                      249 of 249
TLE::FISHER "Work that dream and love your life."    38 lines   8-JUN-1989 15:14
                            -< Long note string!!! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After 240+ entries, there are still a few more.  I commend everyone
for mentioning most of my least favorites, though some of my favorites
made this list, too.  How about these:

	Funkytown  ("Let me take you to...Funkytooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnn!)
	Night Chicago Died
	Wildfire ("She ran calling, "Wiiiiiilllllddddfiiiiiireeeee")
	Pina Colada Song  

I turn the radio station when I hear these good songs, because they've 
been played too much:

	Freebird  (Yelling "Freebird!!!" at a concert is an In Joke.)
	Stairway to Heaven
	Won't Get Fooled Again

I think that "Pink Cadillac" by Natalie Cole is one of the best
remakes I have ever heard, though I like dance music.  I also love
Springsteen's version, too.  (If you want bad disco renditions, try
"Time After Time," originally done by Cyndi Lauper.  Blech.)  But then
again, I also think that the Pointer Sisters' "Fire" blows
Springsteen's version out of the water (or should I say burns it off
the grill); they put the sex back into the vocals. 

Bad songs can be good when used in a certain context, Like the 
following:

	"Get Down Tonight"  KC and the Sunshine Band--When played at
	 the end of the movie "Sid and Nancy," just before Nancy 
	 "takes Sid away."  It sounded so cold, mean, and nasty in
	 that context.  I still feel chilled when I hear that song,
	 because it is now linked to the harsh images in the movie,
	 for me.

	"Is that All There Is?" by Peggy Lee--When played at the end 
         of the movie "After Hours," when the hero dances with the 
         last patron of a punk rock club.  It was funny and touching 
         in that context, because, yes, that's all there was.


							--Ger

    
    You Take My Breath Away - Rex  Smith??
    
    Heard it driving up from NY today. This qualifies in my book as
    one of the ten worst songs ever written.
    
    Roberta
    

    I don't remember if they've been mentioned but:
    
    "Sweet Home Alabam" by Lynard Skynard (because I like Neil Young!)
    (heard it this morning on the radio and it *still* annoyed me)
    
    "Burnin' Down the House" by ? 
    
    "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Mate" by ?  (an old one from the 60's and
                                        very stupid)
    
    "Stand" by REM (I like some of their stuff but this one is just
                     too sing-songy)
    
    Lorna
    

    I actually paid *money* to hear this one!
    
    "I Keep My Fingernails Short So They CLick When I Play the Piano"
    
    (I am NOT making this up.)
    
    --DE
    

    re: .251
    
    Burning Down The House is done by Talking Heads
    
    ASP

    RE "Sweet Home Alabama" is the *only* Skinnard tune
    I ever liked, and only 'cause Neil Young depresses
    me.

    Re The Talking Heads, I do like some of their stuff, and I definitely
    think David Byrne is a very creative and interesting person, but
    I just don't like that song - Burning Down the House.
    
    Re "Sweet Home Alabam" - oh, how could you, Dana? :-)  Neil Young's
    "After The Goldrush" was one of my favorite albums about 18 yrs.
    ago.  I loved his early stuff but I haven't kept up with his recent
    stuff.
    
    Lorna
    

    re: Neil Young
    
    Few lines of popular music grate on me as badly as:
    
    "Hey, hey!  My, my!
     Rock and roll will never die."
    
    Gah!  Makes me want to give out with the technicolor yawn. . .
    
    Steve

    Re .256, so what, the words may be stupid, but they sounded good
    the way he sang them.
    
    Lorna
    

    re: .258
    
    True, the words are pretty weak, but for me, it's the way he
    sings them that wilts my ears.  I know some people hear it
    as "plaintive", but to me it sounds like Neil is a member of 
    the Whiner family of SNL. . .
    
    Steve

    There's a song called "Boots Up Side The Head" with the following
    lyrics that put it into the worst ever category for me.

    Jack and Jill went up the hill
    To have a little fun
    Stupid Jill forgot the pill
    And now they have a son

    ASP

 Neil Young is an average guitar player, a below average singer, and a
(yes I'm being generous today) slightly above average songwriter. Like
Bob Dylan, his musicianship is vastly overrated because he says things that
are popular within a certain culture.

 "Sweet Home Alabama" is a great song. And I _love_ the line where they
poke fun at Neil Young.

 Different strokes, I guess.

 The Doctah

    Sweet Home Alabama is not poking fun at Neil Young. I am a big Neil
    Young fun but I also like Sweet Home Alabama, it is the best "reply"
    song around, it is of course a retort to Neil's "Southern Man".
    If you appreciate a good rivalry these two songs are the equivalent of
    the Red Sox/Yankees.
    
    Gail

    I dunno if they've already been mentioned, but I recall the
    genre known as "Bubble gum rock" giving us some particularly
    rancid offerings.  F'rinstance:
    
    "Chewy, chewy, chewy, chewy,
     Chewy, chewy, chewy, baby!"
    
    and
    
    "Yummy, yummy, yummy!
     I've got love in my tummy,"
    
    Gah; time to go call ralph. . .
    
    Steve

RE: .260
	I think the title is called "Oops Up Side Your Head".  It's by the Gap
	Band.  I agree that the part about Jack and Jill is pretty obnoxious
	and sexist.  Other than that, I love that song!  The whole album, "Gap
	Gold" is great for dancing or doing aerobics -- it's very "up".

The song I can't stand is "Shout!"  UGH!!! Having recently graduated from
college, I had to listen to that stupid song at *every* party, and watch 
everyone jump up and down and look like a bunch of fools.  I'll be happy if
I never have to hear that one again!   

    re: .263  Yummy, Yummy, Yummy was by The Ohio Express
    
    ASP

    hey music buffs,
    
    Can any of you remember what the title of a late sixties sound about
    the lost city Atlantis? For some reason I kind of like those goofy
    ballads sung by people with slightly foreign accents.
                
    Fred Mudgett

    re: .266
    
    The artist was Donovan; I'm not sure of the title ("Hail Atlantis",
    mabye?).
    
    Steve

    G'Day,
    
    Re .215
    
    >"Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Mate" by ?  (an old one from the 60's and
    >                                    very stupid)
    
    Being an Aussie I know this one well although the title used down here
    was "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport" and it was done by Rolf Harris.
    
    David
    
    

    re:.267 re:.266
    
    Simply "Atlantis", and it was indeed by Donovan.
    
    --- jerry

    Re .262, I've never really been able to "appreciate a good rivalry."
     Besides, I'm terribly prejudiced against southern music (except
    for Tom Petty, whom I love).
    
    Re .263, Steve, I'm impressed by all the colorful expressions you
    know for throwing up.

    Lorna
    

    Re .261, I disagree with everything you have to say (about almost
    everything under the sun :-) ), except for different strokes.  That's
    pretty obvious to me when I read some of the opinions in notes.
    ha-ha-ha
    
    Lorna
    

    I *hate* "Love Shack" by The B-52's.
    

    RE: Love Shack,...
    
    Lorna, me too!!!!  I think it's one of the worst songs of the
    century!...
    
    G

    
    re:.272
    lorna, i'm devastated! the latest b-52's album is one of only 3-4
    non-classical albums i own!
    

      <<< Note 199.274 by DECWET::JWHITE "ohio sons of the revolution" >>>

>    re:.272
>    lorna, i'm devastated! the latest b-52's album is one of only 3-4
>    non-classical albums i own!
    
Don't worry, Joe!  Just between you and me, Love Shack is one of the
greatest songs of this century (along with the rest of the album).

john 

    Re .274, Joe, you need to listen to a few more non-classical
    albums....like Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, U2 or the Rolling Stones
    :-)!!  I didn't think your taste would be *this* bad either! :-)
    
    Re .274, .275,  how can you guys stand that line that goes, "Knock,
    knock, knock, on the door, baby" ...... it's really sort of sickening!
    :-)   (i guess looks have nothing to do with a person's taste in
    music....*sigh*)  :-)  
    
    Lorna
    

    I can't stand the B52's either.
    
    Or Stan Ridgeway.  Wonderful lyrics, but his voice grates on my
    ears so bad I can barely stand to listen to them.
    
    --bonnie

    
    re:.276
    rolling stones?
    aren't they dead yet?
    

re: .278 (Joe)

Keith Richards does a great impression of a walking corpse, but that
probably is about as close to death the Rolling Stones will ever get.

The worst song ever, in my book, and oh how it pains me even to type 
those much-hated words, is "Don't Worry Be Happy".

Carla

    Has anyone listed anything by Barry White yet?
    
    oh baby oh baby baby baby ohohoh baby baby ohoh baby oh baby baby
    
    ;-)
    
    Nancy 

    
    	re: Carla
    
    	Ditto!  In fact I have to make it a point to tell the 'band'
    	at my wedding that no-way, no-how are they to do that song!!
    
    	JJ
    

    
    This topic reminded me that Donny Osmond is supposedly making a
    comeback.  I think I read it in People.

    
>    This topic reminded me that Donny Osmond is supposedly making a
>    comeback.  I think I read it in People.


	 His highest charting single so far off his new album is
	 called, I beleive "Soldier for your Love."  It's a rocking
	 song.  If I just didn't hear it so much, I'd probably still
	 like it.

	 Donny's taken to the PopRock scene.  His new album is pretty
	 good.....and the lyrics pretty interesting (as compared to
	 some other PopRockers).

	 Look for him to stay on the scene for a while to come.  Heard
	 him in an interview a few weeks ago....he said that he's
	 never felt better now that the "teen-idol" image and the
	 screaming kids are gone, and he can now work with his talent.


	 kath

    
    Has anyone mentioned "Afternoon Delight" from about 1975?  Barf.  
    I don't know who did it, but I think it was the only popular song 
    they ever did.
    

    I don't have the heart to go thru all 284 replies to this....but, just
    in case nobody else has mentioned it, HOW ABOUT "Mandy," Barry Manilow
    or "Honey" - I've mercifully forgotten by whom.
    
    Estelle

    
    re:.284
    it was, i believe, the 'starline (or starlight) vocal band'
    

    re:.284
    it was, i believe, the 'starline (or starlight) vocal band'
    
    re: ^

    It was called "The Starland Vocal Band"....

    Re:  Afternoon Delight --  It's not a real song, either.  It
    started life as a jingle for a hamburger chain in California or
    Texas or something.  
    
    Which is why all the double entendre about "nibble at a little
    afternoon delight..."
    
    --bonnie

    re: .285 (Estelle)
    
    I can think of two good things about Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey":
    
     o	I *love* to hate this song and his voice singing it.  There 
    	are certain things in this world, the hating of which gives
    	me an almost visceral pleasure; "Honey" is one of these.
    	("Chewy, Chewy" is another)
    
     o	The song inspired an hysterical sketch by the Smothers
    	Brothers on their old tv show; in the sketch, busloads of
    	people are taken on a guided tour of the enshrined "Honey
    	House" where they see, among other things, "The Honey 
    	Husband" and "The Honey Dog".
    
    Steve
    
    P.S. My own warped opinion is that Barry Manilow deserves his
    own "worst ever" note.

    in re .290
    
    Lately on the radio I've been hearing a lot of these old tear
    jerker songs. If I hear 'patches' one more time I think I'm
    going to barf.
    
    B

    Bonnie, do you mean "Patches" by Clarence Carter?  The one that begins,
    "I was born in Alabama, in farm way back in the woods.  I was so poor,
    folks used to call me patches."--where the father dies and the son has
    to go to school and also chop the wood and tend the farm?

    I've heard worse songs, but still, it's hard to believe that this is
    the same Clarence Carter who sang such a wonderful, beautiful song like
    "Slip Away".

    Regarding Steve's comments about "Chewy Chewy" and "Honey", let's not
    forget those bubble gum classics, "Yummy Yummy Yummy I've Got Love in
    My Tummy" by the Ohio Express, and "Simple Simon Says" by the 1910
    Fruitgum Company.  How could 1968, which fell within a range of several
    years during which rock music was undergoing a surge of tremendous
    musical genius, have also given us bubblegum and Bobby Goldsboro?

    On the other hand, though I really hate to admit it, I do find that I
    sort of enjoy "1-2-3 Red Light", so who am I to judge?

    -- Mike

    Mike,
    
    Nope I mean the one that goes 'patches, oh patches, oh what shall
    I do? I swear I'll always love you' about a guy from the 'good
    side of town who loves a girl from the shanty town. One of those
    double suicide endings..
    
    barf
    
    Bonnie

    Hmmm...I never had a problem with "Afternoon Delight", myself.
    On the other hand, among those "visceral pleasures" that Steve
    mentioned lie a hatred for Sammy Davis Jr's "The Candy Man" and
    Tony Orlando's "Tie a Yellow Ribbon 'Round the Old Oak Tree".
    
    --- jerry

Those old hideous songs are actually pretty funny when they're covered by other
groups who don't take it too seriously.

The absolute worst thing I've heard in a while happened when I made the mistake
of flipping my radio dial up above 92.  It was on WFNX, some guy doing an 
acoustic cover of Madonna's "Like A Prayer".  The only word that came to mind 
was pretentious, because it sounded like this guy was trying to make the song 
into something really serious and gut-wrenching.  Blech.....

But then again, most people can't understand what I see in the music I do like.

Lisa

    Re: .295
    
    >Those old hideous songs are actually pretty funny when they're covered 
    >by other groups who don't take it too seriously.
    
    Christmas 1989.  My brothers and I are listening to a public radio
    station where the jocks play their own music.  A song comes on,
    standard rock beat and guitar thing.  After I few bars I start
    laughing.  My brothers want to know what gives.  "Wait, you'll see." 
    And in time the refrain comes around:
    
    "You!  Light up my life!
     You give me hope!
     To carry o-on (o-o-on)
     And you!  Light up my day!
     And fill my nights
     With ...."
    
    Left Debby Boone in the dust.

    Reminds me of a folk singer in Baltimore some years back (named Mike
    Hunt as I recall) who did a heavy C&W version of Leonard Cohen's
    (overdone and pretentious) song Suzanne - it was hilarious. He usually
    arranged for someone to hit him with a pie somewhere in the last verse.
    There was a "glory hallelujah" thrown in the middle somewhere for good
    measure.

    Like Lisa said, hideously stupid songs can be great when a band
    exercises its ingenuity on 'em.  But it's a game that anyone can play
    - try it at home!
    
    The next time that "Mandy" on the light radio station interferes with
    your pizza eating, remember the rumor (current at the time) that it was
    British slang for a barbituite.  For that matter, consider the
    implications of Barry Manilow having written _all_ the songs the whole
    world sings.
    
    On sudden attacks by "Sugar Sugar" and "Yummy Yummy Yummy", reflect on
    the simultaneous widespread acceptance of both bubblegum rock and oral
    sex.
    
    When you hear Elvis Costello's cover of "Like A Prayer", mull over the
    evidence for a "vapidity virus" and whether Paul or Linda McCartney would
    have been the most infectious parties.
    
    View Leslie Gore's works as an ovulatal piece of protofeminism.
    
    Ray

re: .298
    
    >    The next time that "Mandy" on the light radio station interferes with
>    your pizza eating, remember the rumor (current at the time) that it was
>    British slang for a barbituite.  For that matter, consider the
>    implications of Barry Manilow having written _all_ the songs the whole
>    world sings.
    
    In the interest of blaming the right parties, I feel obligated to
    point out that Barry Manilow did not write "I Write the Songs." 
    I don't remember who did write it, but Manilow's version is only a
    cover.
    
    --bonnie, who finds most of her favorite songs in this note and
    most of her most-hated songs in the "best songs" note

    Manilow didn't write Mandy either.
    
    Suzanne

Re: Bonnie R

I'm so glad you were able to 'come out' with that one Bonnie. Ever since I
learned that, I've been worried everytime someone posts to this topic (oh no!
will Bonnie R find her musical taste ridiculed again? and if not, then who?!?).
	Mez

    I don't feel ridiculed, Mez . . . merely somewhat saddened that I
    will never run into any womannoters at most of the musical events
    I might attend :) 
    
    --bonnie

<    View Leslie Gore's works as an ovulatal piece of protofeminism.
<    
<    Ray

    Gee, Ray, can I use that as a mail personal message? You really are
    a cynical romantic! liesl (who always love the song "leader of the
    laundromat")

    There is a song, a slow one, that I've heard a few times lately
    on the radio, where a guy sings "I want to touch you, kiss you,
    make you my woman...."  I don't know who sings it or what it's called
    but I think it's sickening.

    Lorna
    

    These may or may not have been mentioned but here's my $.02 worth.
    
    Kung Fu Fighting
    The Night Chicago Died
    Little Willy
    
    my friends $.02
    
    anything by Creedence Clearwater Revival
    anything by John Fogarty
    
    
    					Sandi
    
    p.s. probably be back with more after picking our brains

    Re: .304
    
    Lorna, actually I always liked that song, and still do. I think
    it's quite romantic the way the two performers sing back and forth
    to each other.
    
    I believe the name is "Hold Me In Your Arms." 
    
    It's done by Peabo Bryson and (before she became a big star -
    "featuring") Whitney Houston.
    
      Alan