Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    I'd put mine at about 80%.  Of course, many of the things I'm not
    satisfied with are things I cannot effectively change, because they
    depend on other people.
    
    I'm in this path of life where I seem to be getting my life together
    in a pretty continuous way.  There are minor bifurcations and hiatuses
    (hiatii?)....but I see progress and this pleases me.
    
    -Jody
    

    
    I'd have to say 95%.  Sometimes I get caught off-guard and don't handle
    a conversation quite as well as I should.  Also, if there's a topic I
    don't feel very comfortable discussing I have trouble.  Other than
    that, I do pretty well.  I happen to be pretty open and not too
    sensitive, that helps.  Also, consider who you're dealing with before
    you let things bother you.

    Maybe 10%?  Hard to tell, cuz that would be the 10% I don't think much
    about.
    
    The people I know who have their heads on straight are probably
    satisfied with 95%+ of their decisions (no matter what it takes to
    justify them!).  A number of people I respect who could not be
    described as having their heads on straight probably run below 50%. 
    
    I've known two (western) Buddhists who certainly _seem_ to hit 100% or
    close to it.
    
    Ray

.0>    I have a question....what percentage of your life and the day to day
.0>    decisions you make and the day to day interactions you have are you
.0>    satisfied with?

	 70%
	  
.0>    What would you consider a reasonable percentage for the person who 'had
.0>    their head on straight and their act together'?

	 80%+ ????  Just as a round figure.....no one can be
	 perfect...no one can make the right decision all the
	 time...and sometimes there isn't a "right" decision to make.


	 kath
    
    

    At the risk of complicating the discussion...
    it seems to me that being satisified with a decision involves one, or
    both, of two skills:
    -	good decision-making
    -	being satisified with how things are
    
    In particular, Ray (hi!), in .3 you refer to people who seemed to be
    getting near 100%. Is it pre- or post-decsion skills that put them
    there?
    
    	Andrew.

Interesting question... I had to pause and think. After formulating
my own answer I felt sure others would be identical. Think again...
not a single one was. 


>	what percentage of your life ...

This keeps on changing, depending on what's happening. Varies
between near zero to a full 100%. I am not sure how anyone can
specify a fixed percentage. 


>	... and the day to day decisions you make ...

This is probably around 95%. I very rarely, if ever, regret a 
decision I make. Of course, there was this decision I made in
October of 1987... 


>	... and the day to day interactions you have ...

This varies, depending on the people I interact with on that specific
day. Sometimes - wonderful (up there in the 90+ percent rage). 
Sometime - you know ...


>    What would you consider a reasonable percentage for the person
>    who 'had their head on straight and their act together'?

Concerning general satisfaction with life - it would be nice to
have over 90% on a permanent basis. I should live so long... 

One's own decisions - if 'their head is on straight', 95% should be
normal. 

Interaction with others - ahh... there's the rub ...

-- Ron

Hmmm.... seems like a trick question to me Joyce... :-)

I'd have to say that there's a lot of sh!t in my life that I'm not happy about.
But then again, there's a lot of it that I can't do anything about, so I just
grin and bear it.  I guess I count myself luck to be at around 50%, given the
fact that "90% of everything is sh!t".

It's interesting to my that people are able to give themselves 90%+.  Certainly
being easy to please does help, but then I consider myself pretty easy to please
with people, yet I still call what I see as sh!t, sh!t, rather then turning a
blind eye to it.

Jim.

    Actually, I took M. Z's "how easy-to-please you are" differently from
    Andrew's (howdy!) "being satisfied with how things are".
    
    My guess is that those fabulous people with straight heads are content
    with "not bad" decisions.  When I honestly look at how many decisions I
    make which are better than the worst I can imagine, even I do _much_
    better than 10%.  (Good news for you VMS users, huh?)  But what I'm
    grading against is the _best_ I can imagine.  Perhaps my imagination is
    just too active.
    
    Happy religious people that I've known fall into the "satisfied with
    how things are" category.  In a sense, they've taken their
    decision-making consciousness out of the game - they view themselves as
    cooperative tools of a higher force rather than controllers. 
    
    Christian churches' emphasis on self-examination and repentance may be
    why I haven't met Christians who gave me the same sense of ease as the
    two Buddhists I was thinking of, the sense of moving with the world the
    way that dancers move with music.
    
    Of course, when I spent a lot of time with these guys, my favorite
    dance was the pogo, so what do I know?
    
    Ray

    Do you suppose age is a factor here?
    
    I mean, when I was in my teens and twenties, I was confident every
    decision I made was the right one.
    
    Then in my thirties, things started falling apart and I realized
    those "great" decisions of my youth weren't serving me very well
    in the long run.
    
    Now, in my forties, I'm learning better how to go with the flow
    (I guess that could be interpreted as being easy-to-please or being
    satisfied with how things are, but more likely it's knowing when
    fighting against the odds won't help).
    
    Sorry, I can't put a percentage on it; it varies too much from day
    to day.  Also I no longer know whether my head is on straight.
    
    Karen
                    

RE: .11

>    Do you suppose age is a factor here?

Reminds me of "God, I wish I had all these problems when I was 
sixteen and had all the answers".

Seriously though, I think age **is** a factor, but --at least, for 
me-- in the reverse sense than yours.


>    I mean, when I was in my teens and twenties, I was confident
>    every decision I made was the right one. 

In my teens and twenties, I was prone to making hasty decisions. 
When the results weren't what I expected, I tended to brute force
them to fit the need.

As I grew older, I realized preventing a fire before it starts is
easier than putting it out afterwards. I started to think first, try
to evaluate all possible outcomes and only then come to a decision.
This approach works better and decisions seem to produce hoped for
results. 

    
>    Also I no longer know whether my head is on straight.

Sure it is, that was a level headed reply...
    
-- Ron

    Well, in my "younger" days almost every decision I made *was* the right
    one.  The options were so wide open that it was tough to make a bad
    call.  In retrospect I've made some of the best decisions in my life
    before the age of 20.  Now I'm finding it a lot easier to screw up,
    since the affects are much more noticable.  *sigh*

    I'm happy with about 80% of my decisions, and with about 20% of my
    interactions.  Of course, this second figure if very low since I'm
    working in corporate support, and the people I speak with are all
    extremely distraught about something or other.  It's sort of like being
    a dentist...you're considered a necessary evil, and someone who can do
    anything with nothing.
    
    Outside of work, I'm happy with about 98% of my interactions.
    
    I think a normal, healthy person is probably happy with at least half
    of their interactions and probably 75% of their decisions.
    
    Marge

>    What would you consider a reasonable percentage for the person who 'had
>    their head on straight and their act together'?

100%

If you have anything unfinished (I wish I had X, or I have to Y),
you are not contemporary.  Living in the present.  Experiencing life
as it is.

Where am I?

At the moment, 100%.  But I sometimes fall off, and then have to work again
at being whole.  We can't guarantee the outcome, but we can shape our attitude.
And that's important, because it determines how we respond.  What we will do.

- Peter

    re .16 
    
    Interesting philosophy, but not suitable for me at all.
    
    In fact, I am never happy with ANYTHING!  0%.  Strange, eh?  
    
    But I guess Lou Tice really summed up the way I think - once my goals
    are met, once everything is complete, once I'm finally satisfied, I'll
    probably be dead!
    
    The toughest thing for me to get used to is the ole "Everything
    changes".  So I guess being satisfied that "everything keeps changing"
    is one form of serenity.
    
    But I still think that SOMEHOW, I can control the direction of my life
    against all the tides and flows, and since life rarely changes the way
    I *WANT* it to, then there is always some turbulence.
    
    Oh, 0% is really extreme.  But I find that no matter how short range or
    long range my plans are, something goes awry eventually.  I'm just
    thankful there hasn't been anything major - so far!
    
    I guess the summary is "Life is what happens while you are out making
    other plans".  I make the best call I can, and then move on to the next
    call.  Satisfied or not, whats done is done, and its on to the next
    step.
    
    Jim (virgin HR noter)
    

    my dad used to say "only a fool is satisfied!"  
    
    for years i thought he was right.  now i know he was wrong.
    
    the last few months have changed my life completely....relationships
    from the past put me at about 50%.  some are great, some are
    not-so-great.  i am not satisfied with them, and i work at them.
    
    newer relationships are at about 100%.  i am totally satisfied with
    them, and i don't want to change that. 
    
    why the difference?  i suppose because i have finally allowed myself
    to accept *me* and *others* for who and what we are.  i am not
    resonsible for others, and have come to grips with how that knowledge
    affects me and them.
    
    the world is a pretty neat place to be right now!
    
    tony
    
    (hi, joyce!)