| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 417.1 | | QUARK::LIONEL | We all live in a yellow subroutine | Tue Oct 13 1987 12:18 | 3 |
| You both need counseling - I recommend that, fast! Flowers alone
won't solve anything.
Steve
|
| 417.2 | amen to .1 | CSSE::CLARK | HACK NAKED!!! | Tue Oct 13 1987 14:24 | 4 |
| ditto .1 on counseling. It sounds like she's creating an excuse
to leave you.
-Dave
|
| 417.3 | Don't be hasty | AKOV68::SHAW | | Tue Oct 13 1987 14:52 | 8 |
| You've stated that "You have almost stopped drinking completely".
STOP altogether!! I wouldn't send flowers at this point. I think
you need to find out what the real problem is first then determine
what the appropriate action is. Don't give up on the relationship
at this point. Seek counseling and urge her to do the same..
Good Luck.
|
| 417.4 | Alcohol = bad news | YODA::HOPKINS | | Tue Oct 13 1987 15:39 | 10 |
|
You didn't say whether her last two marriages were to alcoholics.
I'm telling you from experience, it makes you fearful of alcohol
in any amount. I was married to an alcoholic and I don't like
being around "drunks" to this day. Also, I haven't dated anyone
who consumes alcohol. It's just not worth it!
Counseling is a good idea if it's not too late. Remember, it can
take along time to recover from one bad experience with an alcoholic.
|
| 417.5 | | MEMORY::FRECHETTE | Use your imagination... | Tue Oct 13 1987 16:28 | 5 |
| It sounds more like she doesn't want the guilt left on her for
'breaking' this relationship. Counseling sounds like the correct
route.
Good Luck
|
| 417.6 | | SSDEVO::CHAMPION | An Elfin Miracle! | Tue Oct 13 1987 17:42 | 8 |
| It sound to me like the issue concerns more than just one beer.
Add my vote to obtaining some serious counseling, fast. If she
won't join you, then go yourself.
Good luck.
Carol
|
| 417.7 | do what's right for YOU | ULTRA::LARU | do i understand? | Tue Oct 13 1987 17:45 | 9 |
| re .0
Is alcohol a problem in your life? Do YOU want to stop drinking?
If not, don't do it and let her go... she sounds like bad news.
Don't change yourself *just* to please somebody else... it never works
for long.
bruce
|
| 417.8 | Much more here than meets the eye. | SSDEVO::YOUNGER | This statement is false | Tue Oct 13 1987 22:53 | 16 |
| If you are telling the truth - that you have a couple of beers
occasionally, it sounds like she is grossly overreacting, and needs
counseling for her problems. If, as you believe, she has moved
into the home of relatives of someone she had a 'fling' with, she
may be using this as an excuse to leave you.
On the other hand, you say you've been going to AA meetings. Do
you believe you are an alchoholic? If not, why the AA meetings?
You have been in this marriage for awhile. Were you always drinking
to the extent (whatever that is) that you were right before she
made it an issue? If so, there is more here than meets the eye.
I agree. Get some counseling NOW, for both of you.
Elizabeth
|
| 417.9 | I've been there... | NCVAX1::COOPER | Moving to Atlantis | Tue Oct 13 1987 23:34 | 20 |
| I guess having been in a similar situation, I'll have to agree with
.7. It is not fair for someone to want you to change to meet their
expectations. (Especially if they knew you before they made the
commitment).
If you do change, chances are you will have feelings deep inside
of animosity towards that person and subconsiously take it out in
other ways. And of course that will cause problems. Like yourself,
I like to drink on an average a 12 pack a month. My ex-fiance (who
was married to a stone drunk) could not handle even 1 beer a year.
Counsoling is not always the answer, sometimes you can find truth
from within.
Good luck
Keeping the Faith...
CC
|